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...kind of hoping to be rejected.


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I've posted before about my total lack of social life for the past 15 months as I prepared for this long, arduous, effort at PhD admission. I have consciously avoided the opposite sex...I mean, what is the point if I'm moving soon, right?

Well. The opposite sex found me. And today, it occurs to me that I have a crush on one of the first year MA students, who happens to have a thing for me too. We've both agreed nothing moves forward if an acceptance letter arrives. I'm honestly crossing my fingers for two final nail-in-coffin rejections.

I know that's dumb. I know that if it doesn't happen and I move onward, I'll be okay and actually excited. But...damn if this whole process doesn't have me in knots now. If I don't get in, life sucks. If I do get in, life sucks. CRAP.

Don't mind me. I'll be over in the corner double checking my email to see if Iowa and S.Carolina want me.

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Aww! As someone else who has purposely avoided the opposite sex this past year for the same reason, that is so sweet, and typical that you would find someone now. I wish you the best (whatever way this goes)!

I have one school left and hope to be rejected just so I can have a break from school next year. The longer this wait takes the more I like having a year off.

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That is so sweet! I definitely know what you mean in avoiding the opposite sex. I'd probably be feeling the same way, but on the other hand, you never know if you two will end up married or date for a month and then break up. Everything is so up in the air in this point in our lives.

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I have one school left and hope to be rejected just so I can have a break from school next year. The longer this wait takes the more I like having a year off.

amen to that.

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That is so sweet! I definitely know what you mean in avoiding the opposite sex. I'd probably be feeling the same way, but on the other hand, you never know if you two will end up married or date for a month and then break up. Everything is so up in the air in this point in our lives.

That's the lame part, man. LAME.LAME.LAME.

Darn if he isn't the first guy I've met in a long,long time who was on an equal intellectual footing with me :P Shheeeesh God has a funny sense of humor :lol:

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Amen to that! I am in an intellectual black hole in this town! At least when it comes to something other than hunting or beer.

You guys are hilarious. Now you understand my dilemma!! Every time I go on a date and dare to cautiously go into my research as a topic...the guy fades out and never re enters the conversation. This guy not only gets it, he's listening, remembers it, and makes academic jokes about some of the terms that I have to remember. ACADEMIC JOKES!!! That are FUNNY!

Forget the PhD. Sign me up for the MrS program, LoL! Ok--maybe not. But is it okay to have both? Sheesh. :roll:

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You guys are hilarious. Now you understand my dilemma!! Every time I go on a date and dare to cautiously go into my research as a topic...the guy fades out and never re enters the conversation. This guy not only gets it, he's listening, remembers it, and makes academic jokes about some of the terms that I have to remember. ACADEMIC JOKES!!! That are FUNNY!

Forget the PhD. Sign me up for the MrS program, LoL! Ok--maybe not. But is it okay to have both? Sheesh. :roll:

Aww nerd love (no offense)! I knew these guys existed, I just haven't encountered one yet!

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Aww nerd love (no offense)! I knew these guys existed, I just haven't encountered one yet!

No, no...Nerd love is EXACTLY what it is. But I have always considered these guys to be a myth like unicorns or the pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow..chasing weather patterns won't get you any closer, right? So how does this guy sneak in the side door? AND WHY NOW ?! Especially when I wasn't looking, I wasn't interested, I wasn't even paying attention.

Then a few days ago we were in the GA office at the computer pod and I was like, "I should go back to my desk and get some work done" and he was like "I think you and your beautiful blue eyes should stay right where you are." ...and when I did a double take and said, "Huh?" he turned. Blinked. and said, "You heard me." Then went back to his work as easy as you please.

Now I'm sitting here smitten and shaking my fists at the sky. Never when you want it....sheesh. How does one say, "Ok...endangered species. I just found one. Naw, I think I'll not bother to give it a shot."

sheesh, again.

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OMG THAT IS AWESOME! So cute! He sounds like a keeper! A good complimenter on top of a history nerd! If he's blonde, I think you've found my perfect man and should send him along! Hah, just kidding. He's yours... but still.. you go girl! I'd almost be tempted to see what happens even if you did get an acceptance. On the other hand, Iowa and SC are both far away from Nevada... Aw, I'm sitting here going "awwwwwwwwww". ;)

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OMG THAT IS AWESOME! So cute! He sounds like a keeper! A good complimenter on top of a history nerd! If he's blonde, I think you've found my perfect man and should send him along! Hah, just kidding. He's yours... but still.. you go girl! I'd almost be tempted to see what happens even if you did get an acceptance. On the other hand, Iowa and SC are both far away from Nevada... Aw, I'm sitting here going "awwwwwwwwww". ;)

I love you Riss :) I thought for sure I'd get a bunch of people being like "WHAT THE HECK?" about all of this. Its nothing really, yet...I mean, it could go nowhere. But it could go somewhere. And I'm getting tempted to see where that somewhere is.

He's really an interesting guy. Admits to being a jerk on occasion. Takes very little crap. But has been unusually present for my mental breakdowns over the last few weeks. He's the one I was talking about when I said that I had a quiet constant in my life who was willing to quietly take it all and not judge me for my craziness in this process.

sigh. :) Now I'm grinning again. dangit.

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Hm...those endangered species types never end up working out.

Maybe there's an even further endangered subset that actually do work out--but I have not found any evidence to this effect so far. =/

Feel free to prove me wrong. :)

On the other hand, why so serious? Don't postpone fun just because your future is still up in the air. There are definitely positive lessons to be learned from even simple flings.

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Forget the PhD. Sign me up for the MrS program, LoL! Ok--maybe not. But is it okay to have both? Sheesh. MDLee

Ha [snort!]

G_d bless you! I say cross your fingers, hope & go for it. After all, you dove head first into the graduate phd application process. Why not ante up the stakes by going for him too?

Tempt the fates. Make them want to shock you with a "PhD + Man of Dreams" package. You (& we, the thegradcafe forum readers) deserve a happy ending right about now.

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Tempt the fates. Make them want to shock you with a "PhD + Man of Dreams" package. You (& we, the thegradcafe forum readers) deserve a happy ending right about now.

Now this...might just be an experiment worth pursuing.

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Aw, I love you too! And, if he is that constant listener you were talking about, I definitely agree with the others in saying "go for it!" I'm the cautious type that would over-analyze what my happen if you do get accepted after becoming attached... but, I've also not had as much fun in my life as I'd like and certainly haven't found Mr. Nerd-love Extraordinaire. I think "tempting the fates" is a good idea. You never know what might happen!

I don't think I've met the endangered species type yet, so I can't vouch for whether they work out or not. I have met a nerd that I would love to have a relationship with. We've been friends for four years and he's always been able to intellectually meet me and has been there when I needed to vent or when I was going through a bad stage. But he's not interested in dating... so... he's like the endangered species that is just out of my reach. If you have that guy and he feels the same about you, sometimes it takes a risk to see what could possibly happen. Like you said, it may go nowhere, but it could also take you everywhere you've ever wanted to go.:)

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lol i felt like i was the only one who was avoiding the opposite sex this year...then again, i've been feeling like not getting too involved with anyone since i know i'm moving out of state...it's still depressing though to think that i haven't been on a date since last june.. :/

damn applications

::shakes fist::

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If it helps, I was not looking for any type of relationship knowing that I would be applying to schools abroad. Then boom, in walks the perfect man - smart as hell, funny, cute - the whole package. Funny part? He was set to leave for China for four months two months after we started considering dating. We both said, "what the hell" and gave it a go. Now, the grad school part is becoming tricky. He already has his acceptance overseas and I have yet to receive any word. It's frustrating, and yes...getting attached to someone you may have to let go hurts like hell. But all I can say is that sometimes it is worth it to just go for it. Whether it is a brief fling or it develops into something more...at least you got a chance!

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Honestly I say go for it. My boyfriend and I met when I was home and doing an internship for the summer at the company where he worked (where I thought I'd be working with all middle aged people, having a totally boring summer, after going through a terrible break up the previous semester). We started dating about mid-way through the summer getting serious toward the end only, knowing I'd be going back to school about 5 states away for another year (I was going into senior year). Then after graduation I was home for a while, then were long-distance (well more short-distance, but still) during my first job. Now we live together, but are facing the prospect of being apart again, at least for a while, depending on grad school. So it can work even if you're not together very long before you leave! My brother and his ex also did cross-country long distance for several years (I don't think the break up had to do with distance). You'll never know unless you try and you'll probably regret it if you don't! Even if it doesn't work out at least you'll have some fun and a distraction from the application process for a while!

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sounds excellent! fingers crossed for you! last time i met someone it was like "hey how did i ever think archaeology was interesting?" for a month or two (during which i went to a conference and on a dig), so it is a REALLY strong distraction!

alas, i've been single too long. strategy for grad school, since my discipline is overwhelmingly female: follow applied math friends to math/comp sci parties, where the gender ratio is skewed the other way. i realize how sad that sounds, but maybe i'll find an equally pathetic nerd, right?

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sounds excellent! fingers crossed for you! last time i met someone it was like "hey how did i ever think archaeology was interesting?" for a month or two (during which i went to a conference and on a dig), so it is a REALLY strong distraction!

alas, i've been single too long. strategy for grad school, since my discipline is overwhelmingly female: follow applied math friends to math/comp sci parties, where the gender ratio is skewed the other way. i realize how sad that sounds, but maybe i'll find an equally pathetic nerd, right?

It has been my experience that nerds can cross disciplines to find love.

I mean....this guy is more poli-sci and military strategy. I'm more history and human rights. I have also been known to date chemists. It could work for you--I wholly approve of the strategy.

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