Help! Can I retract my decision?

[HHEoS]

Help, everyone! I decided to accept an offer because my first choice didn't get back to me when they said they would. Now my first choice said an offer is coming. How bad is it to retract my acceptance? I accepted literally half an hour ago.

[sebastiansteddy]

You have to look out for yourself. It's frowned upon, but if it's worth it, do it.

[Gwendolyn]

It's probably pretty bad from the perspective of the university to which you've already committed, but in the grand scheme of things, you've got to consider what's best for you. With that said, you should be pretty darn sure this isn't an impulsive decision. 

[sebastiansteddy]

MAKE SURE THE OFFER COMES FIRST.

[Katzenmusik]

If you're going to retract, it would be best to do so today if possible -- that way the university has a chance to put someone else in your spot, and you could avoid burning a bridge.

 

After April 15, it gets more complicated to retract an acceptance, and doing so is definitely frowned-upon.  (It might be worth it, though, if this is your first choice, and you're waiting for the official letter?  You'll have to weigh the risks of the situation.)

 

You might want to read the official language surrounding all of this: http://www.cgsnet.org/ckfinder/userfiles/files/CGS_Resolution.pdf

Edited April 15, 2013 by Katzenmusik

[ComeBackZinc]

Talk to faculty at your present institution. Ask them for advice on how best to handle this. I agree that if you're going to do it, you should read the CGS council statement and try your best to do so today. Above all else be diplomatic and polite.

[HHEoS]

Thanks everyone! The other offer (from my top-choice) came. I retracted the initial decision within an hour of making it, however I haven't gotten a response from that DGS yet. She might be pissed, but this is my future, and as some of you rightly said, I had to do what's best for me. I did speak to my advisors about it and they encouraged me to make the decision I wanted to. I just posted on here in a panicked frenzy when they didn't pick up their phones. The CGS statement covers my decision, and I was polite and apologetic. I'm confident that I made the best decision for me. 

[deciding]

Don't worry, you've got to do what's right for you    Don't lose sleep over it, they'll understand.

[ErnestPWorrell]

You do you. 

[ProfLorax]

Thanks everyone! The other offer (from my top-choice) came. I retracted the initial decision within an hour of making it, however I haven't gotten a response from that DGS yet. She might be pissed, but this is my future, and as some of you rightly said, I had to do what's best for me. I did speak to my advisors about it and they encouraged me to make the decision I wanted to. I just posted on here in a panicked frenzy when they didn't pick up their phones. The CGS statement covers my decision, and I was polite and apologetic. I'm confident that I made the best decision for me. 

Well, then congratulations are in order! Hurray for going to your dream school!

[HHEoS]

Don't worry, you've got to do what's right for you    Don't lose sleep over it, they'll understand.

 

 

You do you. 

 

Thanks guys! I really appreciate it. I'm still a little shaky about this whole situation, but I'm going to send a follow-up email to the DGS at the first program to ensure that she received my email to cover my legal bases. 

 

Well, then congratulations are in order! Hurray for going to your dream school!

 

Thanks! I haven't posted officially in the other thread yet, but I will as soon as I'm comfortable that everything's okay with my retracted acceptance. 

[Sursie]

If it makes you feel any better (I know it sucks being in that position no matter what), it happens every year (and from what I've heard, it happens every year on the job market, too.) Of course, it's understandable that programs would be disappointed to have candidates retract their decisions and it's a situation worth avoiding if possible. But ultimately, the programs will survive with or without you, and it's one of the most important decisions of your professional career. If you've respectfully and tactfully retracted your decision and a DGS or other faculty can't understand that and feel empathetic (not necessarily saying the DGS at that department falls in that category, just generally speaking), what else is there for you to do?

 

Congratulations on getting in at your #1. Celebrate!

[HHEoS]

Thanks, Sursie, that does make me feel better! The DGS still hasn't gotten back to me, even after I sent another, follow-up email. But whatevs, I'm now completely over being worried about that. I'm in at a great program and no one can take that from me! Yay!

[ComeBackZinc]

I think timeframe is really important here. If this was mid-May, I would be worried. But you're fine.