Grad social life-- How do you put yourself out there?

[rathermarvelous]

I'm going to start my Masters in Library & Information Science at Rutgers next fall, and I want to make sure I can establish a new social life in and around New Brunswick. My boyfriend will be going to school with me, but I'd hate to rely on him exclusively for any kind of social interaction.

 

I wonder how best I can establish a circle of friends, especially from my classes. How do all you grown-up grad folks (especially non-singles) do it? Looking at a few of these forum posts makes me think that many of you find the postgrad social life very different from undergrad, that the smaller programs do less to encourage student social life. Have you faced this problem? How have you overcome it?

Edited April 22, 2013 by rathermarvelous

[Biostat_Assistant_Prof]

I was lucky to meet and stay in contact with a few people from the visitation weekend who also made the decision to attend said school. It's nice knowing ill have people to hang out with the first few weeks there before classes and [for them] lab rotations begin... However, I'd imagine you jus need to be social with members in your department and/or go out to bars or wherever you'd like to hangout (that is, during the free time you actually have).

[rathermarvelous]

I was lucky to meet and stay in contact with a few people from the visitation weekend who also made the decision to attend said school. It's nice knowing ill have people to hang out with the first few weeks there before classes and [for them] lab rotations begin...

However, I'd imagine you jus need to be social with members in your department and/or go out to bars or wherever you'd like to hangout (that is, during the free time you actually have).

 

That's great! Unfortunately, I could not make it up to the open house held by the School of Communication & Information, so I still haven't met any of my grad cohorts face-to-face. 

 

Does anyone have any experience with joining on-campus organizations alongside undergrads? I knew a few grad students from extracurriculars I did in college. They always seemed responsible and committed, though a bit removed from the rest of us. 

[ak48]

From what I know, departments usually throw mixers so you can meet people outside your study area. If they don't you should organize (or help organize) one!

 

Joining an activity group (soccer, softball, ballroom dance, knitting, etc) is a great way to branch out too

[Eigen]

I got involved in our graduate student association/government. I made a lot of friends through there, and it was especially nice to meet other grad students that weren't in my program. 

 

I know we're always looking for younger grad students/fresh blood to liven things up, so I'd look into that if I were you. 

[ak48]

Does anyone have any experience with joining on-campus organizations alongside undergrads? I knew a few grad students from extracurriculars I did in college. They always seemed responsible and committed, though a bit removed from the rest of us. 

 

that's generally because lots of people take college as a time to be irresponsible and stupid. grad students generally have it together (although plenty of exceptions to be sure)

[rathermarvelous]

that's generally because lots of people take college as a time to be irresponsible and stupid. grad students generally have it together (although plenty of exceptions to be sure)

 

Yeah, I figured. I wouldn't mind making some undergrad friends, as long as they're not the sweatpants-to-class type (which wasn't a thing at my college, but apparently is at Rutgers?). 

[rising_star]

Okay, so this is going to sound weird but I'll just describe how I know the people I hang out with the most.

- People from my cohort and then, more broadly, from my department

- People I met through a hobby that I pursue both off campus and through the campus Rec Center

- People I know because they're the in-laws of an elementary school friend who ended up also relocating to this area, though that happened more than a year after I moved here.

- And then, people I met through the in-laws. So, people they work with or take classes with basically.

 

That's pretty much it. I'm single though, so I'm not sure how helpful this is for you since you wanted advice from non-single people. But, there are plenty of non-singles that I hang out with and know from one of the above.

[SeriousSillyPutty]

One friend of mine joined a chapter of a group at his grad school that he had been involved with a lot as his undergrad.  He and his wife were disappointed that they weren't more welcoming... she was disillusioned with the whole town, and blamed it, but I think it was more that the UGs didn't know how to relate to them.  The group leadership, as undergrads, probably felt awkward "leading" their academic superiors.

That being said, another girl I know at my school joined a flag football team that is UG and grad students and had a really positive experience.

Keep your eye out for non-student groups too, like young professionals groups.  Here, there's a group called "St. Louis Transplants" specifically designed for people to meet and rebuild their network here.  If you are at all religious, I strongly recommend joining (and getting involved in!) a church/religious community , as they can be a great source of support.

In classes, don't be afraid to ask other students for "help" or get their feedback.  Sometimes, "What'd you get for number three?" or "Did you do the second reading yet?" or "How long do you think he wants the reflection?" can be a good icebreaker.

[juilletmercredi]

I'm actually not close friends with too many people from my own cohort.

 

I'm a doctoral student in my 5th year.  My first two years here, most of my friends were master's students in my department I met through joining a student group at my school that was primarily populated by master's students.

After two years, they graduated, and I was still here.  So I found a job on campus as a graduate assistant and most of my current friends are from this job.

 

I am also friends with a few people through classes and my cohort.

[ArtHistoryandMuseum]

 If you are at all religious, I strongly recommend joining (and getting involved in!) a church/religious community , as they can be a great source of support.

 

This!

 

At the Catholic church on campus nearby me, not only does the church offer masses in the evening for students, but they also provide mingling activities for students (like hikes). The center also offers a separate area with tables and comfy seating for students to use to study. As this church has made it cool to hang out at the center, with a number of people around... I could only imagine you'd meet people.

 

So if you are religiously inclined, a local church (especially one that is on campus) -- might be a great place to meet people.

[rathermarvelous]

Thanks, everyone! All of these suggestions sound great.

 

Though I am not particularly religious, I can easily imagine participating in a local Unitarian or non-denominational discussion group, if I get a good vibe from the people there. I was also thinking of volunteering somewhere, like maybe a Pride Center. I have a friend who's working on a PhD in History at Rutgers, and her partner puts in a lot of time there.