Should I end my life?

[annanyc]

I am really depressed with my life. I screwed up in college a few years ago. Because I am diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, it was extremely difficult for me to take 12 or 15 credits each semester and get good grades in all of my courses. Now, I am 27 years old. I went back to school part-time to finish my Bachelor's degree and I am getting straight As. I am majoring in Anthropology and minoring in Biology. I am interested in various topics including biological anthropology, osteology, population genetics, forensic anthropology, neuroscience, psycholinguistics, animal behavior, primate evolution and anatomy, prehistoric archaeology, cultural anthropology, tribal art, sustainability, environmental issues such as deforestation and climate change, and public health. I have strong blogging skills and I'm proficient in PowerPoint. My GPA is only a 2.55 overall and a 3.1 in my major. Unfortunately, it is too late for me to raise my horrible GPA because I am a senior with 108 credits. I am planning to graduate from college in the spring of 2014. I feel like I want to kill myself. I think that graduating from college with a 2.5 or 2.6 GPA is the end of the world. I will never get a job or get into a Master's program. Employers will judge me by my horrible academic record and won't even give me a chance to prove myself. Also, most jobs in the Anthropology field require at least a Master's degree and I will never get into graduate school with a 2.55. I live in NYC. I am dreaming about working for the Museum of Natural History, the National Museum of the American Indian, a primate conservation center, a nonprofit organization dealing with environmental health and sustainability, or becoming a professional travel blogger. I think my mediocre GPA is going to stop me from achieving any of those goals. My low GPA will haunt me until I die. I will never become a productive member of society. Should I commit suicide by jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge? I really feel like I'm useless and I don't deserve to live anymore.

[DerpTastic]

Seeing as there are people out there that can't even make it out of college, I think you'll be fine! I've seen plenty of people with GPAs around 2.5 who are looking into grad school. I'm not sure how easy the road is to get there, but I highly doubt it is impossible. Good news is you have above 3.0 in your major GPA. Those are your more important classes anyway. 

 

At worst, you'll either stay in undergrad perhaps a little longer and raise the GPA (maybe spend an extra year and pick up another minor? Maybe retake some classes?), or you'll get into a masters program that isn't ranked at the top, but you'll be able to work hard, excel, and have a good masters GPA. You can easily explain away a bad undergrad GPA if you have a masters GPA that is from a more recent time and is above your undergrad GPA. Plus you'd only be taking classes in your field, which you seem to be better at anyway!

 

That then makes your application look good for either a job or a PhD!

 

To relate to you, I went through a really really rough time my second year at college, had the same thoughts as you, and also ended up really sick and had to drop out for one semester, which only added to the stress. Put me behind a semester and in turn, a year, since I don't plan on applying to grad school for spring (hard to get funding). I pretty much thought I was screwed and better off gone at the time, but kinda derped along through college anyway. Over the past couple years I've kinda learned to not get so caught up in things. Why freak out over the little things? What happens will happen. If you want to do something, go for it. If it doesn't work out, then maybe come up with a new plan and try again. It's not the end of the world bud! A 2.5-2.6 gpa is not something to end your life over! At most, it just delays what you want to do for a little.

[bioarch_fan]

I would agree with DerpTastic with an emphasis on staying a little longer in undergrad.  Maybe take a year or so and take a few more Anthropology classes, or retake classes that you did not do well in.  This could drastically change your GPA easily.  While a 2.5 isn't the best GPA, it's still decent considering I know people that had much worse.  I would say get it up to a 3.0 and try applying to grad programs then.  If you could get your major GPA up to a 3.5 that would be good because well, they really want someone that has a good major GPA.  Also, on the note of GPA's, they usually only look at your last 2 years when accepting students.  I have heard that from MANY professors who served on the acceptance committee.  So if you have other strong aspects of your graduate school application, i.e. research skills, internships, writing samples, letters of recommendation, and the most important thing is your statement of purpose, then you should do well.  It couldn't hurt to apply to graduate programs and see where it goes, or you could email professors at schools you're interested in working with and get their take on how well they think you'd do and if it's not good then don't fret about it...just take another year in undergrad and raise your GPA.  But whatever you do, DO NOT slack in the final year if you do take more time because that will just be worse for you.  But suicide is never the answer and many college students, both undergrad and grad alike, become extremely stressed out about their grades and the prospects for the future.  Hell, I'm 25 years old.  I'll be 27 when I get my BA and approximately 33 (as a minimum) when I get my PhD.  Do you think that makes me depressed?  Definitely.  But I know what I am working for and that's what keeps me motivated.  I am passionate about the field and working with skeletal remains to learn about past and present peoples.  Something to take your mind off of your problems could be to just leisure read...or go running and burn off some steam.  It'll help you clear your head and let you think straight.

[MSW13]

I think that both DerpTastic and bioarch_fan have given you great advice. I would also add that it is so important to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts. Do you have someone you can confide in? Perhaps a family member, friend, professor, or academic counsellor?

 

In my experience, one thing I realize is that with school, there is *always* a way to get where you want to go. My gpa was horrendous and it stopped me from moving ahead in my career. But when I was ready (in my case, years later), I went back to school and completed a make-up year, did well and got admitted to my dream school.  

When the timing is right and you have all of your ducks in a row, you will achieve your goals. Trust in your abilities. The truth is, many people do not get into grad school the first, second or even third (or more) times. Sometimes all it means is that you are not as ready as you think you are and you need to fix something in your application or apply to more realistic schools. But having said that, whether you get in or not should never define you as a person. You are no better or worse of a person just by getting into or rejected from a school.  Grad school is just one hurdle in life...you will leap it, just keep at it.  

Just remember that success is rarely, if ever, a straight line from A to B.  Disappointment is part of life. Instead of burying yourself under it, try your best to make use of it to help shape your next step. Be proactive and know that you are not alone. Again above all, please speak to someone about how you are feeling.

[Cesare]

No. You SHOULD NOT END YOUR LIFE. This should never be an option. Where there is a will there is a way. Everyone has obstacles in their life, it is how we deal with them that makes us into the people we are. Obstacles can be overcome. 

[Nanolol]

Hope the OP is doing all right since this was posted last. Please let us know how you are doing!

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Dude, this person posted this same thing in the Lobby forum. They registered for the site, created this thread within 5 minutes, stayed online for about another 15 minutes, then never came back on again. He/she is either a troll... or dead. 

[MSW13]

Sadly, I think you're right...

 

Dude, this person posted this same thing in the Lobby forum. They registered for the site, created this thread within 5 minutes, stayed online for about another 15 minutes, then never came back on again. He/she is either a troll... or dead. 

[trimble]

I was 45 when I finished my M.A. in Anthropology with a specialization in Archaeology. I am not sure what your background in school is but many starting jobs as an archaeologists require taking a field school  or at most a B.A. Granted many of those are of the shovelbum variety but that experience can be built into an excellent CV that can assist you in securing a permanent full time job.  If an M.A. is really your goal then start getting published in peer reviewed journals, try to volunteer for NSF funded projects, develop relationships with professors you want to work with for your MA.  A low GPA is not the end all and be all of an application to grad school.

 One more word of advice is to really screen your potential mentors for grad school, There are many great universities that offer terminal M.A. , you have options.

[mutualist007]

You are much further along and better off than you think Stay in another year and retake classes if possible. I was in the same situation with my first undergrad degree at the standard age (22-23). And then almost 10 years later I went back to school as a transfer student. Fortunately for me the new school transferred my degree in for credits towards courses but did not transfer in grades. That meant that I could finish a new degree in ~ 2 years and this time I graduated with a 3.89 or something.

 

Many colleges now offer undergrads the chance to retake to replace. Talk to a college counselor about your options. 

 

Short answer: You are still young despite what you think -- Stay in and retake some courses if you made less than a 'B', or graduate and transfer as a post-bacc like me and add another degree like maybe in Biology. Then take plenty of time to study for the GRE. Allow 6 months.

 

Finally, don't be in a hurry to get out of your undergraduate degree. I was and I think it cost me. I should have stayed an extra semester and I should have sought out more experiential work and opportunities.

 

PS - Are you amenable to seeking out professional help? My 10 yr old son was diagnosed as a toddler with PDD/Autism but now he is clearly high functioning with more Asperger's like traits. Since autism is heritable, I suspect that I am a high functioning autistic. I could also have Adult ADD with mild to moderate social anxiety. I know I have issues but I have never been formally diagnosed but I plan on seeking a diagnosis for confirmation. My struggle has been lifelong, but have finally made an appointment to get help and may even welcome suitable medication. I decided that the anti-cure philosophy is not for me.

 

Please PM if you want to know more. I can also share my experience with medication if indeed I receive a diagnosis and prescription by next week.

[mutualist007]

Your story like many others is a tragic testimony to the ills of the capitalist survival games we must play in order to feel productive. Don't let them dictate worth.