STILL missing a recommendation letter!

[Eileen987]

Okay, somebody stop me before I burn a bridge that I might need one day.

 

One of my three recommenders was the director of my department, who offered to write me a letter last year. I finished all of my applications a month early in order to open the online form for them to upload their letters. I sent all of my recommenders several reminder emails before each deadline, and wouldn't you know-- the director of my department missed all of the deadlines but one. I had to harass her and send over snail mail addresses, email addresses, and fax numbers to give her plenty of options to get my letters sent. She said she would send them, so I dropped it. This was in December.

 

Well 2 weeks ago, I was offered admission to Wake Forest, but they could not extend an official offer because they were missing this person's letter!! I had to email and call her and her assistant to get that letter sent out over one month late. I thought that was the end of it, but no.

 

Now, I have one notification left, from Northwestern, so I emailed them just to make sure they had everything in my file. Sure enough, they didn't have her letter!! I had to email her yet again and give her the graduate assistant's email to send in the letter, which was due on DECEMBER 1!!!!!. As we went back and forth about this via email, I tried to apologize for the trouble as much as possible, and this woman just kept complaining about what a difficult ordeal this is for her! And as of her last email, she insisted that she had already sent my letter several times, and would send it one more time only. After that, she will not send it again!!

 

I cannot BELIEVE the nerve of this woman! SHE offered to write a letter for me, and I gave her more than enough advanced notice of all of my deadlines. I cannot believe how unprofessional she has been about this, and now my admissions hang in the balance. I am VERY tempted to email her back with something to the tune of "With all due respect, this letter was due in December. If you had sent it in on time, we would not have had a problem at all."

 

How out of line would that be??

[PhDerp]

There is nothing to be gained by sending that message.

 

I definitely agree this is ridiculous, but she did say that she sent out the letters multiple times before. If you send that message, you are telling her you think she's a liar. And that is rude, no two ways around it.

 

Like you pointed out, you're going to burn a bridge. Things like this stick in the mind. When she sees your name again, she's going to remember the message you sent (especially if it's one of the most recent things she's heard from you) and maybe even share the story.

 

Maybe the letters really didn't make it to the schools for a different reason. I know it doesn't sound like it, but there might have been a problem with her e-mail or connection that made her think the letter was correctly sent it out when it actually wasn't! Or maybe she just mistook sending your letters for others she sent out. Or maybe she is lying. But it's too late to have her submit the letters on-time now.

 

 

Just don't send that message. It's not worth it.

...But yeah, this really sucks, and I'm sorry it happened.

 

 

PS: Good job getting into the one school! I really hope this works out for you!!

Edited March 5, 2014 by PhDerp

[PhDerp]

Also, not to rile you up, I'm sure it's a pain to even just think about this thread... I'm kind of curious (especially if the issue was electronic): Didn't your schools have status pages so you could see whether or not application materials had been received? All of my schools did, and some even notified students when they were missing materials.

 

If not, it sounds like they could really, really use this feature! =/

[Eileen987]

I am not necessarily accusing her of lying. I know that when she tried to upload all of my letters late in the first place, she had an issue with the online form, so she asked for alternative contact info to snail mail or fax them in. All of my schools do have the status pages, but I just figured that since my recommender didn't actually upload them to the site, the status page was not going to update once they got the letter. The extreme delay of getting the letters in is definitely partially my fault, since I should have confirmed with the schools shortly after my recommender said she sent them the first time. At that point back in December though, I didn't want to ruffle her feathers while I was trying to graduate. She was really pissy about it even back then-- she sent me some email about how busy she is and this is just really not good timing for her to have to be doing this. She is the one who offered to write me a letter, or I wouldn't have even asked!

 

I guess I am not so pissed about the letters being late as I am about her attitude. I mean, even since early December she has been giving me a hard time about what a pain this is for her. Isn't this kind of part of her job description? And not to just repeat myself, but SHE offered to write me a letter.

 

Thank you for your reply though. That was what I needed- someone to seriously just set me straight. And you're right- I wouldn't just be burning one bridge, she would probably be telling my story for years to come and I don't need that kind of reputation following me into my very first years of graduate study.

 

I will feel much better about it once I actually have confirmation from Northwestern that they got her letter last night. Thanks for letting me vent. I hope no one else is having this problem!

[TheGirlWhoLived]

Since it is February, it is really late, but I don't think it is all that uncommon for recommendations to be late. 

 

I have had it happen twice. The second time was from my current mentor, and although I was stressed about it, I don't think it hurt me at all. It was a beautiful letter. 

 

In the end, schools know professors do this, and you won't be the only one with a late recommendation letter. It also isn't in their job description to do letters of recommendation. Although, I do think if someone agrees to do it (or volunteers in this case), it is their professional duty to write the letter in a timely fashion. In the end, definitely not worth burning a bridge over. Especially in academia. 

 

And it looks like it will all work out for you

Edited March 5, 2014 by TheGirlWhoLived

[dhg12]

I guess I am not so pissed about the letters being late as I am about her attitude. I mean, even since early December she has been giving me a hard time about what a pain this is for her. Isn't this kind of part of her job description? And not to just repeat myself, but SHE offered to write me a letter.

Actually, I am pretty sure writing LOR's is not in any professors job description, they by no means have to write letters for anyone. If anything it is some sort of unwritten expectation, but it's really not technically part of her job.

 

That being said, I was in a similar boat with one of my letter writers, he was sort of perpetually late for each of my deadlines. Thankfully 2 of the programs I applied to send you an e-mail when they receive your references. The other two were by snail mail which was pretty irritating/stressful. I just had to keep reminding myself that this prof (who I am also currently taking a course with) has a lot of letters to write. That being said, seeing him twice a week in class gave me plenty of opportunities to ask him/remind him of deadlines, etc.

 

All in all, I agree that there really is nothing you can do, aside from being as polite as possible. Luckily/hopefully you won't have to deal with this person again in the near future

[sunroza]

A professor who agreed to write my letters was known for having little sense of time. I ended up emailing her daily prior to the my first deadline even though she never replies, and kept calling her secretary asking her to remind the professor. She sent all of the letters only a couple of hours before the deadline ended (although there is a significant time difference I didn't think I could expect her to do it after midnight). Before she sent it though I was refreshing the auto-updated page like mad and near losing it since I didn't think missing the deadline was acceptable. I was conjuring up any curse I had in my head but of course kept my emails ultimately polite.

Although she really nearly gave me a heart-attack, after everything was done I felt really thankful to her for taking the time to send the letters because I know how incredibly busy she is!

Point is, I kind of know how you feel. If that professor actually did miss my deadline I'd probably hate her too so it was good she didn't! Yes you should've made sure it was received well before the deadline, but it sounds like your prof's attitude was horrible so you can definitely feel angry. Never think about burning that bridge though because it isn't worth it!

Also, once you confirm her letters are received you should let her know and thank her politely. Hope things will work out for you!

[RomulusAugustulus]

 It also isn't in their job description to do letters of recommendation. 

 

 

Actually, I am pretty sure writing LOR's is not in any professors job description, they by no means have to write letters for anyone. If anything it is some sort of unwritten expectation, but it's really not technically part of her job.

 

My recommenders have always pointed out that it IS in fact their job (as I apologize for the hassle and send thank you gifts ). But of course you are correct that they are not required to write for every student that asks. They are however expected, as professors, to write several a year. 

 

To the OP, ick that is terrible! But I agree sending that email probably will only make the situation worse. Hope everything works out!

[pdh12]

Seriously, you pay Insanely Good Money to go to school, and Pay their salary. Hell yes they need to write your damned letter!