Social Life in Grad School

[JessePinkman]

How is the social life of grad students in general? Is it all study study study or does everyone take time out regularly to socialize and have fun too?

[wildviolet]

Both. There are times when all I do is study/read/work/write because it's that time of the semester. But, usually I have to plan my social activities. Things don't spontaneously happen as they did in undergrad when we all lived in dorms and had common meeting areas. That said, I think it's important to make room in your life for fun things, so you can be recharged and rejuvenated when you have to get back to work.

[Plissken]

I find it considerably more difficult to get people to go out and do things in grad school.

[bsharpe269]

People in my cohort maybe go out once a month... its really hard to find more time than that and sometimes even that much is hard for me. I am engaged so that plays a role I'm sure. I try to make a date night every other week so that sucks up some time.

[TakeruK]

I think it really depends on the people in your program. However, in the two grad programs I've been in, it's been pretty easy to get people to go out and do things. There are about 20 ish people in my program across all the years. A subset of us will have lunch together almost every day and there is at least one evening a week where a group will go out for drinks etc. It's not the same people every single week but there is something going on! 

 

Whenever one of us wants to organize some sort of event, a week or so notice is generally enough to get people to clear their schedules. But we are a pretty friendly group--I think most of us would prefer to spend time with each other (or our partners) so we have tons of incentive to reschedule work as needed to make time for social things!

 

Friday evenings can be spontaneous because there is a department funded social hour at 5pm so going out to dinner sometimes comes naturally after the booze runs out!

Edited April 19, 2014 by TakeruK

[spunky]

"social life"? what is this "social life" you speak of? XD

[wildviolet]

 

Friday evenings can be spontaneous because there is a department funded social hour at 5pm so going out to dinner sometimes comes naturally after the booze runs out!

 

That's really nice! I wish my department did that, but I think we must be too big, even though I'm sure not everyone would show up every week. We have monthly breakfasts and biweekly lunches, but sadly no booze.

Edited April 20, 2014 by wildviolet

[TakeruK]

That's really nice! I wish my department did that, but I think we must be too big, even though I'm sure not everyone would show up every week. We have monthly breakfasts and biweekly lunches, but sadly no booze.

 

The Division gives us about $90 per week to host the social hour and I think their secret motive is to encourage all of us to stay at work until 5pm on Fridays I don't know how "big" is "big", but I'd say we have about 40-60 ish people come every week (but definitely not the same people every week). Secret motive or not, I'm pretty happy that they do this for us Also getting the booze and snacks is the responsibility of the first year students so I'm doubly happy that I'm now in year 2

[wildviolet]

Also getting the booze and snacks is the responsibility of the first year students so I'm doubly happy that I'm now in year 2

 

Nice!!!

[maelia8]

I'm not even in grad school yet and I don't have much of a social life (boyfriend only on weekends, other friends perhaps once a week on average), so who knows if I'm going to miss it much when I start school in the fall

[JustChill]

I was lucky with my cohort, in that they enjoy hanging out as often as I do. We tend to get together a few times a week, whether at someone's house, a bar, or a restaurant. I think this is pretty common across most grad programs at our university. First year of grad school is tough for everyone, and people tend to be far less gregarious at first than they do later on. Just give it some time and keep working on getting people to go out. 

[RunnerGrad]

During my undergrad, I worked one summer in a lab with a fair number of master's and PhD students.  Now maybe it's because it was the summer, but a large group of us would go out fairly regularly (say once a week), to a restaurant, to a pub, or to some type of event.

[seeingeyeduck]

Any advice for those going into small programs? (~15 people)

[the_sheath]

Small programs are an advantage, no? Don't the smaller groups tend to be more tight knit? That's the impression I got

[TakeruK]

I definitely think so. My program is 20 ish graduate students, but the entire Division is probably 100-120 graduate students in total.

[talpostal]

For those who are already in grad school, are you usually busy enough on Fridays and Saturdays that you can't go out? 

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

For those who are already in grad school, are you usually busy enough on Fridays and Saturdays that you can't go out? 

Hope not. I'm finna get cruuuuuunnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. I already know Seattle pretty well. There's some fun stuff to do on weekends. Just hope I can contain myself. I've been off the alcohol for 2 months now. Don't wanna get back on that wagon. The wheels were barely on last time. 

[Plissken]

For those who are already in grad school, are you usually busy enough on Fridays and Saturdays that you can't go out? 

I am only a lowly thesis Masters student, but no. A lot of the (first, second, third, fourth, fifth)-year PhD students I'm friends with often prioritize their work over going out on Friday and Saturday nights. Not always, but often enough. Most of the time, it's not because they cannot; it's because they choose not to.

 

I sincerely doubt that anybody is so busy that they cannot go out on Friday and Saturday nights. Maybe on rare occasions, say before their prelims or before their defense, I can understand if they say they are too busy to go out. But the vast majority of the time, it's a matter of time management and prioritization. I'm not talking about people with children and families. I'm talking about students without children/families/other obligatory commitments. Unless you are spending literally every waking hour doing work, you can almost certainly afford to spare a few hours one or two or even three nights a week. I doubt that, on average, the typical grad student's schedule is so busy that they cannot, if they manage their time well, block out 240 minutes once or twice a week to go out or hang out and not do work. The list of jobs that require one to be working almost constantly is very short, and includes individuals such as soldiers and doctors during their residency. Yes, grad students do experience crunch periods when they become very busy, but most of the time it's a matter of time management and proper prioritization.

 

This is not necessarily meant to be a criticism, and it's not meant to suggest I'm perfect. But when most of my friends say they "can't" go out, what it really means is they "choose" not to go out, based on choices they've made throughout the day or week.

Edited April 21, 2014 by Plissken

[dazedandbemused]

In my program, the first and second year cohorts, with a few third and fourth years mixed in, get drunk together every Friday. We also spend a lot of time together in smaller groups. I know it's pretty unusual compared to many other programs, but I love it.

[VioletAyame]

Small programs are an advantage, no? Don't the smaller groups tend to be more tight knit? That's the impression I got

From what I've seen during visits, I definitely prefer a smaller cohort. My first visit consisted of 12 prospectives, and the program expected an incoming cohort of 7-10 students (they did not invite all their admits), and that to me is the perfect size for a cohort. I think that's small enough for everyone to have adequate interactions with each other but not as small as a 4-5 people cohort so there's still a good chance you can find someone you click with. My other two visits had 18-22 people and expected a cohort of 15-17 people, and I already felt that's a little bit too much.

 

I definitely think so. My program is 20 ish graduate students, but the entire Division is probably 100-120 graduate students in total.

Is program = cohort and division = department in this context? I'm guessing since 20ish students/year x 5-6 years = 100-120 students total

 

In my program, the first and second year cohorts, with a few third and fourth years mixed in, get drunk together every Friday. We also spend a lot of time together in smaller groups. I know it's pretty unusual compared to many other programs, but I love it.

That sounds awesome.

[wildviolet]

For those who are already in grad school, are you usually busy enough on Fridays and Saturdays that you can't go out? 

 

Oh no! Friday evenings are usually my social days, and Saturdays are usually spent recuperating from the week, cleaning my apartment, and getting ready for the next week (I suppose that's not really fun, but at least it gives me peace of mind).

[TakeruK]

Is program = cohort and division = department in this context? I'm guessing since 20ish students/year x 5-6 years = 100-120 students total

 

Oops that wasn't super clear. My school uses different vocab than I was used to at other schools so I mix things up a lot! "Program" means "major" to me, so my program = the Planetary Science PhD program. There are 20 ish students in my program, with an average of 4-5 per year/cohort. But the number varies wildly due to resources available. In recent years the numbers have been: 4, 0, 7, 1, 5, 7, 2. My program is a part of a larger "Division" that oversees 6 different PhD programs. My school uses the word "Department" to mean "Program" but in many ways, the "Division" is similar to the "Department" too (for example, some PhD requirements are governed at the Division level). Not all programs are the same size, but there is roughly 100-120 grad students spread across the 6 programs that is housed in our Division. The entire Division admits about 30-40 students per year and hopes for an incoming class size of 20, so this is where I got the 100-120 number from, and also explains what the distribution is fairly uneven, since it's hard to get exactly the right proportion of accepts from each program!

 

This means that I know the 20 or so other students in my program (in all years) very well--we all have offices on the same floor and building. We mostly see the other people in classes or during Division-wide social hours like above, so we mostly know people outside of program that are in our year, but we do see the same people over and over again. We rarely see people outside of our Division, except for the Astronomy people interested in Planetary Science (Astronomy is in a different Division).

Edited April 22, 2014 by TakeruK