Girlfriend (London) vs stipend (Paris)

[thecage]

Dear all,

 

I got a terribly difficult decision to make. I have been accepted for a MSc in Physics at Imperial College London (1 year), where my girlfriend is studying, and for a high-energy physics master that is shared between Ecole Polytechnique in Paris (1 year) and ETH in Zurich (1 year). If I go to Paris I'll get a stipend to cover living expenses, and almost no study fees, so that it will be completely free for me. If I go to London I will have to pay tuition fees and housing for myself, but then I could also spend time with my girlfriend.

 

I should add that even if I go to London I have enough money saved up so I won't have to take any loans, but on the other hand I would also like to have some savings for a later PhD, for example in the US.

 

What should I do?

 

 

[tspier2]

It depends on how long you've been in this relationship and how serious you are about one another. Taking the London route doesn't secure the relationship; it just means that you're in closer proximity.

[Vene]

If this was your wife, I'd lean on the side of taking the London offer. But, I can't tell you because I have no idea how serious the relationship is and how comfortable you are/aren't with doing a LDR for a year. Also, assuming everything works out afterwards with her is she going to follow you to your PhD?

[GeoDUDE!]

I think the distance is manageable, its 450 km. This is a short enough distance to see each other on breaks, long weekends, and even some weekends. Being a graduate student, you can take friday, saturday, and sunday off and work a bit extra earlier in the week to make up for it. Our schedules are really flexible. Its only 1 year, thats a drop in the hat. But you might want to think about an after plan too.

[thecage]

I'd say it's pretty serious, even though we've only been together for less then a year. We are currently not living together, but it's something that we are talking about doing in the future. I have suggested that she come to Zurich when she is done with her master at Imperial, but we haven't decided anything. I also can't tell how it will be to have a long distance relationship since we haven't been away from each other for more than three weeks at a time.

 

The way I see it there are three main factors that i have to consider:

- The comfort vs. discomfort of a short-distance vs. long-distance relationship

- Academic standards and reputation of Imperial vs Ecole Polytechnique/ETHZ

- The fact that I am fully funded at Ecole Polytechnique

[iphi]

Stipend! It's really not that far from London to Paris (an hour's flight or a few hours on the Eurostar) and you can have fun exploring each others' cities on the weekends! It's only one year, it should be manageable if you're serious about the relationship, which I assume you are since you are asking this question.

 

Let's put it this way, you will never regret taking the stipend... but you may regret not taking it.

[rising_star]

Take the stipend and live in Paris. It's not that far to travel from Paris to London, as iphi points out, and you can get inexpensive flights courtesy of Ryanair and other low-cost carriers. You can use some of your (considerable it seems) savings to finance those trips, or pay for her to come see you.

[Applemiu]

I would go to Paris and then take the train to go to London. It is really manageable.

[Flandre Scarlet]

Paris.

[Lifesaver]

Paris. If your relationship is meant to be, you'll survive the 450 km. Especially since it's only a year.

 

Also, you mention a potential PhD in the US in the future. Would she be coming with you then? Because that's a huge commitment on her end. So, if it's possible that you'll inevitably be split up by the Atlantic Ocean for a handful of years later down the road, why sacrifice your education for her now? Ya know?

[Francophile1]

I am actually battling same dilemma right now! Want to go study in France but boyfriend doesn't know french and therefore he might end up going to London...difficult decisions..but london-Paris is not that far!

[Igotnothin]

Agree with iphi!

[nugget]

It's very cheap to fly between London and Paris. Europeans take weekend trips to neighbouring countries very frequently since they're so close by and flights are low cost. I'd go with Paris for sure.

Edited July 3, 2014 by jenste

[mipel]

If the relationship is that serious then, well, anywhere you'll go it will be ok. Of course long distance relationship is always difficult, but there are plenty connections between London and Paris. On the other hand, if you are that type of personality, who needs to be with your love all the time, then you should decide to study in London.

[someth1ng]

Paris. If you really have a strong relationship as you say you do, you can make it work between London and Paris - seriously, you're not on opposite sides on the world.

[juilletmercredi]

My vote is also for Paris!  My then-boyfriend of 7 years and I did a long-distance relationship in the beginning of my PhD program.  He has since joined me in my city and we've gotten married.  I'm moving again for a postdoc about the same distance (~245 miles, so about 40 miles shorter than London to Paris).  I'm purchasing a car and there's a bus and we'll just have lots of weekend visits for 2 years.  It's really doable.