Annoying Colleague

[FractalFrustration]

So... I'm sort of at a loss of how to handle this particular situation, without making a fool of myself. There's someone in my cohort who takes active listening to an extreme level. During lectures/presentations/people talking, he has to verbally agree with nearly every word. It grates on me so badly, that sitting next to him in a three hour class gave me a pretty big headache.

 

Does anyone have tips for somehow going Zen about this and tuning him out, or maybe tips for a conversation that could help it go away? 

 

If it matters, which I hope that it doesn't, but kind of think that it does... I'm white, and this colleague is black, and it makes me feel awful, but this behavior reminds me of movies with southern Black congregations agreeing with the preacher in church, and so I feel that if I let on that I'm annoyed, I'll be a racist.

[DerpTastic]

We had a student in my undergrad that did this. There was always a constant "yes" or "mmmhmmm" coming from him. It was especially annoying when the professor would ask something along the lines of, "everyone understand?" (He would immediately say yes, and the professor would move on, anyone hanging on had to reel the professor back in).

 

No one ever did anything, it kind of screwed him over a few times because he was only following about half the time. Some professors call you out by asking you a question. He started doing it a bit less because of that.

 

I'm not sure why it reminds you of black congregations. That comment seems more racist than bringing it up to him. I can see that you're annoyed, and I honestly understand where you're coming from, but this has really nothing to do with race, and I don't think he would think that if you brought it up to him. I've found that at least our classmate just wanted sort of suck up to the professor. Make the prof think more highly of him.

 

I don't really have any advice of bringing it up. We never brought it up to the student, because it is a little hard to word it in a good way that doesn't sound like you're awkwardly asking them to shut up. Personally I always sat away from him so that at least if he mumbled, I couldn't hear it.

[iphi]

Can the professor hear it? If so your best be may be getting the professor to tell him to cut it out. Otherwise... sit as far away as possible?

[Coconut Water]

If you can't have the professor help you here, consider addressing the colleague directly. Can you use some variation of, "Excuse me [first name], but I can't hear the professor well/concentrate/focus. Maybe I'm hard of hearing or something."

 

But be ultra polite and courteous (hide your annoyance).  Try to be downright sweet (even if you're a guy). That way, you're just a nice, courteous person who is here to focus, and may have a special, humble need (even if your hearing is just fine!)

 

I once did something similar at work. You see, I had a colleague at a phone sales job who was extremely annoying. She was really loud and constantly felt the need to motivate others around her or utter her train of thought aloud as the day progressed. Her style was very distracting and actually made it hard to do my job. I once heard her tell someone she was hard of hearing, which explains her terrific volume, and validated my own problem!

 

Really seems worth having your prof. do something. If you can, politely tell the professor your issue (that it's distracting/you can't focus), and ask if he/she has any suggestions? I mean, if you are getting headaches, it starts to be a real health issue! You might even mention the headaches. Anyone else in your cohort have the same problem?

[ELM616]

Why don't you just sit somewhere else?

[TMP]

Try having a professor who does that I just learned to tune it out and appreciate that it's just her way of feeling like she's understanding/feeling involved.