Waiting to Exhale (the wait list thread)

[jean-luc-gohard]

Jean-luc-gohard,I am in the same boat.I am feeling so terribly low and stuck.

 

I had a good few weeks of feeling low and stuck too. What's helped me is having a few encouraging conversations with my advisors, who all essentially said that many, many students are much more successful their second time applying. That's something I've seen evidence of here on GC as well. So, chin up - we'll try it again next year. In the meantime, I'm perfectly happy to continue working at my job and saving some money. With the funding packages some universities are offering, it looks like having extra cash will come in handy.

[squankabonk]

Thanks all! The encouragement really helps.

 

It looks like I'll be headed to Case Western. It isn't my dream school, I'll admit. But I need to remind myself that I had good reasons for applying in the first place, and I should be very grateful that I got in. There are some awesome scholars there with whom I look forward to working, and the community of grad students seems really supportive and great. And Cleveland might be a cool town? Or at least have its points.

 

We're all at the time of the season where it's easy to spend a lot of energy thinking about what might have happened or what we should have done to get where we dreamed of going. Trying to focus on the great things ahead and not get too hung up on all that jazz. So if I start to get too wistful (Two roads diverged &c &c) somebody pinch me or something.

[HelloThisIsDog]

Thanks all! The encouragement really helps.

 

It looks like I'll be headed to Case Western. It isn't my dream school, I'll admit. But I need to remind myself that I had good reasons for applying in the first place, and I should be very grateful that I got in. There are some awesome scholars there with whom I look forward to working, and the community of grad students seems really supportive and great. And Cleveland might be a cool town? Or at least have its points.

 

We're all at the time of the season where it's easy to spend a lot of energy thinking about what might have happened or what we should have done to get where we dreamed of going. Trying to focus on the great things ahead and not get too hung up on all that jazz. So if I start to get too wistful (Two roads diverged &c &c) somebody pinch me or something.

 

Squank feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about Cleveland! I live about half an hour away.

[Katla]

Squank, I'm sorry to hear about BC! But I'm sure you'll be super happy at Case!!! And as you say, indulging overly much in the what ifs at this point leads nowhere nice. Positive vibes!

[Dr. Old Bill]

We're all at the time of the season where it's easy to spend a lot of energy thinking about what might have happened or what we should have done to get where we dreamed of going. Trying to focus on the great things ahead and not get too hung up on all that jazz. So if I start to get too wistful (Two roads diverged &c &c) somebody pinch me or something.

 

For what it's worth, the adage/cliche that has helped me a lot through the rejections is "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush." My reaction when I was first offered an M.A. at UMD was something between a shrug and an eye-roll. I was so dead set on Ph.D. offers that I didn't initially see its value for what it was. But within a few days, it became more than a consolation prize...more than a plan B...but something really really good for me, and something I wanted quite badly. I really can't express how grateful I am to the folks at UMD for giving me a shot, and I find that it has given me an extreme level of enthusiasm and eagerness to prove my merit.

 

It can be hard to accept rejection, yet it can be hard to accept acceptance as well. But when the emotional fog lifts, you generally see how wonderful any acceptance is, because it's rare and legitimately affirming.

[greenmt]

Somewhere on one of these threads a while back, a similar discussion came up right around the time I saw a story online about Harvard's acceptance rate.  It turned out that, stated as a percentage, the rate of acceptance for most of the PhD programs I (and probably you, if you're reading this) applied to was *lower* than Harvard's famously absurd undergraduate acceptance rate: so low that it made the news.  That gave me some perspective.  I feel damned lucky to have gotten into a good program (barely, the second time around).  I've never been particularly competitive, so this might be a rationalization, but it feels like chance plays a big role in these outcomes.  Take heart.  If you got in, it's because they saw something in your prospective work.  If you didn't, ask for feedback and try again.  My application the second time around was objectively better b/c of what I learned the first time around.  

 

PS, I half-expected that things would get more contentious on this board as April 15 drew near.  That it hasn't confirms something good, and pretty rare, about you folks.  I hope to get to know some of you at conferences and such.  

[empress-marmot]

It can be hard to accept rejection, yet it can be hard to accept acceptance as well. But when the emotional fog lifts, you generally see how wonderful any acceptance is, because it's rare and legitimately affirming.

 

You know, my application season maybe didn't go as planned, but I received four acceptances (to schools I considered "safeties," as much as any funded  program is considered a safety). I was able to meet some really fantastic people at each school, and one program stopped being a "safety" in my mind.

 

I'm really excited to be going where I'm going. There are good folks in my future. 

 

 That it hasn't confirms something good, and pretty rare, about you folks.  I hope to get to know some of you at conferences and such.  

 

And yes. The GradCafe is a wonderful place. I've 'met' so many supportive people on here. I don't think I could have done this without you all.

[Scottstein]

Friends,please dont make farewell speeches so soon.A few more days to go and few more offers to turn down and probably lady luck might shine on a few more of us   gradcafe has been fantastic though

[staggerlee]

Me, waiting to see if my waitlist at UNC converts:  

 

[Katla]

I just found out that they won't be able to convert my waitlist at WUSTL, it was a very nice email. So while it's a little sad, mostly I'm just happy to finally have all my decisions in. In fact I've felt surprisingly bouncy all morning

[sr27530]

To the person who just posted on the results board and got in off the waitlist at Emory, could you please PM me? (If you happen to read this).

[PistonPython]

I'm on UPenn's Comp Lit wait-list and the suspense is killing me. I'm barely stopping myself from rolling around on the floor. But chin up, guys, we're almost done!   Idealistically, I like to think that the schools we eventually go to are the schools we'll be happiest in. Good luck! 

[Scottstein]

Chin up or you will experience Sweet Chin Music (throwback to a  philistine childhood:the great WWE era)

[TeaOverCoffee]

I'm still wait listed at three universities. I'm a bit upset that I turned down my acceptance to Temple just because I do want to attend graduate school so badly, but I know it wasn't financially feasible for me to pay for a MA degree. So I'm patiently waiting in hopes of some good news by Friday. I'm expecting to have heard for all three by the 17th. Does that sound right, or do you guys think it will be longer than that? After that, I'm going to begin focusing on getting a job. I've applied to probably twenty places by now, but I'll put all of my energy into a job if I don't hear good news by Friday. 

[1Q84]

FWIW, a colleague of mine last year heard back from a wait list spot on April 18! It really shouldn't go much later than that... 

 

Really crossing my fingers for you and sending some good vibes!

[EnfantTerrible]

Do you think it's worth sending an email to check in? I emailed last week and was told that I "certainly still have a shot" and would hear something by the end of the week, but I've been waiting on tenterhooks and nothing has arrived!

 

Should I just try and distract myself or is politely asking for an update reasonable?

[hypervodka]

Do you think it's worth sending an email to check in? I emailed last week and was told that I "certainly still have a shot" and would hear something by the end of the week, but I've been waiting on tenterhooks and nothing has arrived!

 

Should I just try and distract myself or is politely asking for an update reasonable?

 

I think it's a great idea. And be sure to mention that someone had told you that you'd hear by the end of last week (which is a good excuse).

[EnfantTerrible]

Thanks for the advice. Emailing now.

[Dr. Old Bill]

Yes, I would say that at this point, with what most institutions consider the "official" acceptance deadline merely two days away, emailing should be perfectly fine. Many potential students need to know their options now so that they can plan accordingly. There's certainly no harm in contacting a school two days before the major deadline.

[1Q84]

And (only if this is truly the case), letting them know that you would accept an offer from them on the spot should one come could help light a fire under their butts. I know for sure some programs are less eager to hustle for you if they think that you'll just end up going somewhere else. It worked for me, YMMV! 

[EnfantTerrible]

Thanks, everyone! This little corner of the internet has been so helpful over the past few weeks! I'm working in a small town in Austria, feeling very cut off from the academy, and I think without your help I would have driven my friends crazy with questions they couldn't answer.

[greenmt]

I've accepted at UMD. 19th C. American is my racket, for anyone still waiting.  I'll be taking myself off the waitlist at Tufts.  (Has anyone but me been waiting on Tufts?  Seemed like a lovely campus, with good people.)  It's a relief to no longer be waiting, but this app season has left me feeling (metaphorically) beaten about the head and shoulders.  My best wishes to all still waiting.  

[1Q84]

I really wish we could all hang out in one room and drink some cocoa while we wait for the last minute offers to come in. I can't imagine what you all are feeling! Sending unicorn and leprechaun vibes to all still waiting!

 

[CarolineNC]

Uh... apparently I didn't officially decline UT Austin online and neither some other people (we just emailed Wayne Lesser) and so they still haven't officially marked us off the list and notified waitlisters. Sorry about this guys, but I thought you might like to know. BTW, I just OFFICIALLY declined. 

[jean-luc-gohard]

I really wish we could all hang out in one room and drink some cocoa while we wait for the last minute offers to come in. I can't imagine what you all are feeling!

 

This pretty much sums it up for me: