ucdude Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I dont know if this is the right place to put this at all, but the more I start to think about grad school, the happier and more anxious I am. And not the good anxious, the bad one. I have gotten good grades but for some reason I feel like none of that reflects my intelligence or wisdom. I feel so happy that I've been accepted into two top programs in my field, but at the same time - anxious, because that means I will have to perform up to par, or better. And I dont think I am. A lot of these feelings of academic inadequacy are probably shared by at least a few of you here - so....how do you guys deal with them? How do you guys deal with the imposter syndrome? Google chrome for some reason doesnt think imposter is a word, so maybe I shouldn't either beefgallo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tolman's Rat Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Oh my. It's a funny feeling, because it's something I only really get when I'm ruminating (which actually happens to be quite frequent...). Think about this for a second--have you interviewed at these programs? If so, did you feel out of place talking to the people you'll be working with for the foreseeable future? For me, the conversations actually went really well, and I was unexpectedly accepted just a few days after interviewing with, as with you, a top program in my field. I'd imagine you felt the same, that once you actually got down talking to these people, you were more conversant than you expected. Also, if you got into top programs, you probably had some pretty important people writing some pretty awesome letters about you! That isn't just based on grades, but on what they see out of you on a regular basis as it relates to your skills and creativity relevant to the field. That said, I don't know if the feelings ever go away, at least until you're done. A recent PhD graduate in the lab that I'm currently working in said that her greatest feeling in defending her dissertation was "Wow, I actually know stuff!" Her feelings of inadequacy lasted for the entire duration of her PhD, and it was only while defending that she felt she was deserving of her place in the academic world. Shamrock_Frog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ribble Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I think I always know less than my professors think I know. I just try to keep that illusion up while we're talking, then look up all the stuff I should have known later. In other words, fake it till you make it (there's a nice TED Talk on that). It's a legit and totally acceptable thing. I'm also somewhat reassured in knowing that pretty much everyone suffers from imposter syndrome. ilnomedellarosa, elijahbaley and Tolman's Rat 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilnomedellarosa Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 The TED talk ribble is referring to is fantastic! In case you haven't seen it yet: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjoh197 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I'm usually pretty up front about all the stuff I don't know.... and these people seem to think I know it anyways :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gubidal092 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Academics (and I am including myself here) tend to think we have cornered the market on "Imposter Syndrome". However, speaking with other people in other professions, this is a common feeling that pretty much everyone has (especially at the start of a new career or new position within their job). Similarly, people often feel they could never do someone else's job (even within the same office, believe me, I have consistently heard this from people), while feeling that anyone could do theirs. Grad students are some of the more neurotic people on the planet (again, I'm including myself), and we tend to forget that we are in this tiny bubble where everyone is smart and driven and experts in their field. But we are all also faking it (at least at the grad level). Don't worry; just keep faking it until you no longer feel like you're faking it. You are much more prepared than you think you are, and you are much better at your job than you feel. <3 (Another side point of this is that people tend to advance in their careers (or education) until they reach their maximum level of incompetency, rather than their maximum point of competence. But, just remember that you are constantly "leveling up" -- the bosses just keep getting harder, that's why it doesn't feel like it's getting easier, even though if you checked, you have tons more XP than the average person. Because this comment needed a video game metaphor.) attackonthedoctor, elijahbaley, Clueless91 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busybeinganxious Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I truly didn't know this was even a thing. I am SO relieved. I thought it was just me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanicMode Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 The academic world is notorious for making people feel like impostors. Or more specifically: the outsider. Every part of graduate school has a gate keeping function. And even if you make it and get a Phd or Masters, you're only starting the next round of trying to figure out if you're really a part of it all. If you take a top tier university and you walk into the toughest class, you will find a room full of people who are scared they are not smart enough to be there. Most of them are correct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kleene Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 I think the important thing to keep in mind is that you would never be admitted if you did not have a very good chance of succeeding in a program. No matter how crappy you feel about yourself, at some point someone has recognised your potential, even if you may not have recognised it yourself. Midwest_newbie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacchanalia Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 This thread is EXACTLY what I needed! I just got admitted to a great program and the second they said they wanted me, I started making up reasons why they would take me other than I had a good interview and they like my application. I even got to a stage where I assumed that just because they admitted me, there must be something wrong with the program. The whole Grocho Marx thing, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." Luckily, I talked it through with a couple people and realized that I was being crazy. It is definitely nice to hear that others are feeling the same way, at least we're ALL crazy and neurotic.... maybe that's why we're all trying to go to grad school? Some Psych person can run with that one! Also, I can vouch for gubidal's comment that it happens in all fields. I teach High School and my whole first year I would call my wife and say, "can you believe people leave their children with me ALL DAY?! I'm just making it up as I go along!" Garyon, -hermes- and fellowdroog 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorelai_Gilmore Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 ^ Bacchanalia, your comment about assuming that there was something wrong with programs who would admit you really hits home for me. I was so excited about one program, then they admitted me and now I'm questioning their standards. I JUST realized that I was doing this. Thanks for opening my eyes. lavendercloud, fellowdroog and lxwllms 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RP15 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Talk about it.. I'm about to go visit a potential PhD program (with paid hotel+flight). My hotel roommate is an Ivy league undergrad (at the same ivy league where both of his parents are well known professors). He has multiple pubs and went to the most expensive private high school in the US. And here I am at a no-name university, lol Chiqui74 and Shamrock_Frog 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiqui74 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 When I got the phone call saying I was admitted to to NYU, and that they were very impressed with my application, my first thought was "oh my goodness, did they read the right file? Are they sure its ME they want?" sjoh197 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controlc Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 I don't know how to cope with it, but I definitely know what you're talking about. Last week, when I received an email concerning admission to my top choice school, I was hesitant to even share the news with anyone because I thought they had made a mistake and sent the email to the wrong person. I've received a couple more emails from the school since then, so I think I'm finally convinced that I actually got in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz113 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Makes me feel better that I am not the only neurotic one. It's gotten so bad my roommates are making fun of me: "Oh, yeah, she's definitely not going to get in, not with her 3.9 GPA." Kleene 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarochan Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I think the important thing to keep in mind is that you would never be admitted if you did not have a very good chance of succeeding in a program. No matter how crappy you feel about yourself, at some point someone has recognised your potential, even if you may not have recognised it yourself. This certainly helps me feel less anxious. I've been having some serious doubt about my abilities/etc., so thank you very much for this reminder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HistoryGypsy Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I know how you feel! My first thought after my initial euphoria at getting accepted was, "Oh no! Now I actually have to live up to everything I said I could do in my SOP!" Chiqui74 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Impatiently Waiting Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I had a similar feeling when I transferred from community college to my undergrad university. I was an A student in community college, but I was worried that I didn't really belong at a top university and that I would perform poorly. Admittedly, I struggled to adjust at first but I eventually realized that I was at or near the same academic level as most of my classmates. I believe in the idea of the self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you are inferior you will perform at an inferior level, but if you believe you belong at your school you will live up to your true potential. I think you will settle in nicely and eventually find your academic groove in grad school. Best of luck! Midwest_newbie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbowpink Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 When I started my MA in linguistics, I honestly thought I found a lot of the classes to be extremely easy because the content was actually easy. Also, I got a TA position for a linguistics class despite having only taken one linguistics class before starting my program, so I actually had to teach some of these things to undergrads, and it was actually extremely easy to do so. I must have sounded like a jerk to my classmates last year. When I got my acceptance email from University of Chicago (with extremely good funding) last weekend, I seriously read it over and over to make sure it's really saying what I think it's saying and that it's actually my name there. I actually began working harder because I seriously was worried about people finding out I'm not as good as I'm supposed to be or something. Then I found out there the Imposter Syndrome is really a thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mseph Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 To be honest, I am not sure how to deal with it. When my POI emailed me something along the line of "Congratulations, your application is impressive, you have great records..." I literally went back to my submitted application to check that the scanned copies of my transcripts are legible and self-reported GPA without any typo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bacchanalia Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I love this thread! At least I know I'm not the only crazy one.... I've just started a new stage where I'm convinced that when I go visit the campus they will realize that I'm actually a moron and rescind my offer. Because, forget logic, that's why! Garyon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ineedanak Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 I think I have a type of imposter syndrome that is based on reality.. Well, thinking that is a symptom in the first place, isn't it? Still, I'm going to be going to a lab for a type of science I have basically no experience in besides a few things I've studied in classes. I don't know how to use half the equipment and I'm terrified. I told my POI I would need training but I don't think he understands how much I will have to learn.. It's scary and I think he could really end up frustrated if it turns out I need to have my hand held for awhile before I can work by myself.. However, I did stress in my application that this was the direction I wanted to do research in despite not having direct experience with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HashtagKitKat Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Talk about it.. I'm about to go visit a potential PhD program (with paid hotel+flight). My hotel roommate is an Ivy league undergrad (at the same ivy league where both of his parents are well known professors). He has multiple pubs and went to the most expensive private high school in the US. And here I am at a no-name university, lol I feel this so much!!!! My roommate is the "accomplished" one and I just feel like how could we both receive an offer of admission???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serenade Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I totally understand this. Made it through the applications. Made it through interviews. Somehow convinced a few schools to admit me. But I keep thinking: "It's just a matter of time before I actually start the program and they realize that I'm in way over my head and was an admissions mistake." And I agree with others on here - coming from a no-name university and being surrounded by people from top schools only adds to this feeling. My new goal is to prove myself wrong for thinking this way - easier said than done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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