Sample GRE Essay Critque- Analyze an Issue

[bryanmusk]

Hello,

I am currently studying for the GRE and seeing if there is anyone out there willing to read my practice essay and provide me with some feedback, and a realistic score I would likely receive on the GRE (0-6).  I really appreciate anyone who takes their time to read it and provide me with valuable feedback.  Thank you in advance!!  This essay I wrote is for an Analyze the Issue response.  My method of practice is to use Microsoft Note Pad since there is no spell check.  I put the prompt on the same  screen, and have a visual 30 minute timer going as well.  Feel free to steer me in a better direction to execute my training if you think I can improve it.  Also, I derive my prompts from ETS.ORG (https://www.ets.org/gre/revised_general/prepare/analytical_writing/issue/pool)  Below is the prompt, followed by my response essay.

 

 

Writing prompt:

It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman

as a hero.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or

disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be

sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be

used to challenge your position.

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      Although societies across the world have advanced greatly overtime and

the standard of living for many has improved, the dire need for help and

to be saved will always persist.  Some would argue that society can not

deem any living man or woman a hero.  However, society dies in fact have

a consisitnetn need for a hero and obligation to recognize one. Due to

the timeless need and respect for heroic actions, soceity will always

have the special title "hero" to commemenatre living men and women who

act as  savior in a time of need.

 

      The title "hero" is special coveted role, that socieites will always don

to special men and women for eternity.  No matter how advanced society

may become, their will alway be a need for someone to help in moment of

distress.  Those who courageously and successfully respond to these

situations are heroes.  When performed on a large scales, these actions

are recogized by society as a whole.  The end result is the title hero

for the man or woman who demonstrated great courage.  For example, a man

drving by a car on fire and notices children inside decides to pull over

and get them to safety.  He succsullfy gets them out of the car before

the fire engulfs the vehicle in its entirey.  A man who has perfroemd

these actions is nothing short of a hero.  Any society would recognize

the actions of this men, and declare him nothing short of a hero.  His

status as living or deceased bears no weight on his legacy as a hero.

In today's society, the term hero is far from being reserved for those

who have past and actions resonate a leganrdary story of heroic deeds. 

 

      As a whole, we have become a more individualistic society.  It is more

common place to see people in a society consumed with his or herself. 

Social media profiles, customized smart phones, and inidivual aciveiment

have promoted a culture in which the individual can flourish.  a selfless

herioc act is rarer today in such a culture and when they do occur they

most cetianly hold more weight. In our society we have numoerus heroes

who break away from indiviual hedonism, and exectue selfless actcs of

courage.  Society is far from reserving the title hero to those who are

no longer alive.

 

      The trait of being a hero is absolute in nature.  It is not a reltive

term, but a title that society unanimously agrees upon. Any man or woman

alive today can find themselves in a situation in which they act

heroically and society bestows upon them the title "hero".  A hero

commits an act the is inherently selfless and sacrifical to an extent.  A

living person is more than cpaable to earn the title hero from society.

 

     Although the title hero can be merrited by any living man or woman, it be

tougher to earn as acts of courage and valiance have been remembered in

history.  When earning the title hero, one must considered those who have

come before him and really qeustion if he is worhty of the title.  It

would be easy to infer that it is no longer possible to regard any living

man or woman as a hero.  Often it can become overly competive to earn the

tite, and soceity may relucant to make the observation at times. While

heroes exist amongst society today, they may be relcuantly observed.

 

       Any lving man or woman can earn the title hero while alive from society. 

It is not soley lmited to those of the past and of folklore.  It may be

more and more difficult to differtiaite a hero today, but the need for a

hero in every society will always be there.

Edited March 10, 2016 by bryanmusk