Do you know anyone who didn't get in anywhere? (Warning: rant)

[georgica2]

Do you know anyone, maybe yourself, who didn't get in anywhere? And what happened to them? Bonus points if their story resembles mine in any way.

I'm applying to 15 programs, all in Social Psychology (most competitive among psyc subfields) which I'm not sure is a good antidote for the fact that my credentials are pretty uneven. For a lengthy summary, see my first post on this board (TLDR: foreign student, US degree, low-to-average GPA, probably lackluster recs, relying entirely on university funding, high GRE is only highlight). Now it's sinking in that the ~$2000 I invested in this whole application business may have been wasted. People applying to the same programs are getting interviews and whatnot, but I'm not hearing anything. Reality also kicked in: the economy, my lack of research exp, my grade in stats, gloomy employment prospects, etc. Lots of anxiety flying around here: what will people who know I'm applying think (especially people who've only known me as the superstar I was in high school), what will I tell them if I don't get in anywhere, do I stick around the States or go home, get a job and forget about the whole academic pipe dream, should I blow my savings on a year or two of world travel or something equally crazy, should I go into hiding in my home country for a couple years and do all the reading I've always wanted to do, then try again, how do I get research experience if I can't find an RA job stateside, yadda yadda yadda. And then there's the whole self-blame thing (should have worked harder, facebooked less, gone to office hours more often etc.). In summary, this is just a pretty bad time all around.

Before this post devolves into more ranting, I just want to say I'd really appreciate stories and perspectives from you all. Oh and happy new year - hope everyone enjoys the fireworks show tonight

I didn't get in anywhere last year. I applied to 4 (very, very competitive) PhD programs, hoping to go straight from undergrad. Honestly? It sucked, but I quickly realized after a week or two of wallowing in self-pity (and feeling really humiliated when friends/family asked about my applications) that it wasn't the end of the world. Telling people was definitely the hardest part -- I was incredibly embarrassed and felt like a total failure, especially when talking to people who knew nothing about grad school/academia and just assumed that because I had a pretty stellar GPA meant that I would automatically be accepted. What really made me feel better was talking to my professors/recommenders, all of whom were totally supportive, offered to write letters again, and reassured me that getting rejected from a program that only accepts a handful of people isn't necessarily a statement about my (or anyone's) aptitude or potential as a graduate student.

The best way to think about it is as a learning experience. Before reapplying this year, I had an extra 6 months to think critically about my applications and how I could strengthen them going forward. Instead of getting depressed about not getting in, think about a backup plan: what can you do to make sure that your 2nd attempt is better? Look into research/publishing opportunities, internships, etc -- anything in your field that might make you stand out. If you're concerned about your GPA, consider taking or auditing some graduate level courses at a local university to prove that you're capable of doing advanced work.

In short: not getting in isn't the end of the world.

[liza]

Out of 8 applications to social psych programs, I've been declined from 4, and haven't had an interview from any (so I think we all know where that's heading). About an hour ago I was declined from my safety, so feeling pretty low. I've got a great GPA, GRE scores, recs, etc, but I went to a pretty small name undergrad. Was hoping my masters in neuroscience would help, but doesn't seem to have done me any good. Is it possible that I've just been deluding myself into thinking I'm a good candidate???

[alexis]

Out of 8 applications to social psych programs, I've been declined from 4, and haven't had an interview from any (so I think we all know where that's heading). About an hour ago I was declined from my safety, so feeling pretty low. I've got a great GPA, GRE scores, recs, etc, but I went to a pretty small name undergrad. Was hoping my masters in neuroscience would help, but doesn't seem to have done me any good. Is it possible that I've just been deluding myself into thinking I'm a good candidate???

While I don't know your details, I don't think you are deluding yourself.

What I've realized is that many of these programs have around the same acceptance rate range as Harvard does for undergrad (~9%). Even for the state schools, or schools that are lower ranked, they still boast super low acceptance rates. There are no "safeties" with, say, a 75% acceptance rate that some undergrads have. And rather than competing with your average high school student, you're competing with (mostly) other high-quality candidates, and there are so many random/uncontrollable factors in admissions that it really is a crap shoot. This is what I'm going to tell anyone who asks how my PhD admissions went this year: "Well, it's basically like trying to get into Harvard for undergrad, and next year, I'm just going to have to apply to a bunch more Harvards."

While it is extremely discouraging, but I wouldn't give up just yet. A lot of folks (and I may be in this boat myself) have to apply more than one cycle before they get an acceptance.

[someDay]

@alexis: That's a little bit over the top. You'll find that grad schools admit considerably more than 7.5% of applicants (even Princeton admits around 13%). Granted, acceptance rates do not rise to 100% as one goes further down the ranking list but that's because the school has to find a supervisor and needs to be convinced the applicant will make an original contribution to their proposed field. Grad school admission is competitive, but getting into Harvard as an undergrad is still harder.

On the other hand, sometimes people are just extremely unlucky, which - given it's unpredictable nature - is more common in grad school. Your safety school might not be a good fit and thus rejects you, or the professor already has 10 students, the university finds itself in a funding crisis, etc. I suppose this is why most people apply to a vast number of schools, even though they're very competitive candidates indeed.

Best of luck to everyone!

sD.

[pea-jay]

And rather than competing with your average high school student, you're competing with (mostly) other high-quality candidates, and there are so many random/uncontrollable factors in admissions that it really is a crap shoot. T

That seems to be a pretty rational explanation. The economy has increased the number of recent UG students in a number of fields in applying for grad programs as the job market sucks for recent grads. Also, other prospective grad students with a number of years of job experience are going back to school because of unemployment or the need for advancement. At the same time funding for many programs have been curtailed. This all means greater competition for a limited number of seats. Of course every field is different but the bottom line is that it *is* tougher than it has been in past years.

[Jade]

Is it possible that I've just been deluding myself into thinking I'm a good candidate???

That's how I feel. I'm such an idiot for believing I could get into a PhD program. I'm in my 30s, working in a dead-end, miserable job, surrounded by my happily-married, baby-making friends and I just lost the only thing I've ever succeeded at. I have to lower my expectations and stop this Type A dreaming/goal-making bullshit. I'm a single, childless, black female in my 30s with an advanced degree and a job. I personally have nothing to live for, but as far as America's concerned, I've done well for myself.

I really envy people who don't dream outside of their limitations and only accept what's in front of them. They're happy with what they have because that's all they know. I never thought I'd say this, but I'd give anything to be that ignorant.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Jade

[hamster]

That's how I feel. I'm such an idiot for believing I could get into a PhD program. I'm in my 30s, working in a dead-end, miserable job, surrounded by my happily-married, baby-making friends and I just lost the only thing I've ever succeeded at. I have to lower my expectations and stop this Type A dreaming/goal-making bullshit. I'm a single, childless, black female in my 30s with an advanced degree and a job. I personally have nothing to live for, but as far as America's concerned, I've done well for myself.

I really envy people who don't dream outside of their limitations and only accept what's in front of them. They're happy with what they have because that's all they know. I never thought I'd say this, but I'd give anything to be that ignorant.

woah. except for ethnicity- we are gradcafe twins. at least i'm not alone.

don't give up yet, Jade. I know it's hard. I know, I am about ready to give up myself.

We would have give up long ago if we could have but that is not who we are. We need to do this.

and we don't know what tom'w brings- we may be closer than we think.

[mudlark]

I really envy people who don't dream outside of their limitations and only accept what's in front of them. They're happy with what they have because that's all they know. I never thought I'd say this, but I'd give anything to be that ignorant.

Whoa! That's some seriously toxic thinking, my friend. There's a middle ground between single mindedly sacrificing yourself to an ideal, and being ignorant and complacent. If grad school doesn't work out, is there some way you can create a life with the characteristics that attract you to academia? Something that challenges you, lets you be creative, lets you contribute, has some flexibility? Why not rethink your goal in terms of certain elements that you want in your life (something that you HAVE control over) instead of getting a specific position (something you have little control over)?

To extend my run of bad analogies on this thread.... we've probably all known someone who's so intent on getting married that she sacrifices happiness in other parts of her life, other goals, and eventually even the quality of her future spouse in order to reach that one goal. A $30 000 wedding and two years later, divorce. If she had focused on the reasons why she wanted to get married (companionship, excitement, time spent with family?) instead of the goal, things might turn out differently.

I'm a pragmatist and a bit of a cynic, but I think that if your ideal is making you so miserable that you say you have 'nothing to live for', it might be time to re-evaluate why you're pursuing that ideal in the first place, and try to achieve something similar by a different path. Grad school is not worth suffering like that for. I strongly disagree with the poster who says that being academics is "who we are". I don't believe there's one career path for any given person any more than I believe there's one soulmate out there for any given person. You intentionally build your life through dedication and hard work. If your choices so far are making you miserable, you CAN change things. You're only in your thirties, after all!