Unprepared & Exhausted

[Exhausted_Grad]

Hey everyone, I'm a new user. And 75% of the way finished through my first semester of my MA in Gen. Psych. When I decided to apply for a Mater's, I thought it was gonna be one of the biggest decisions of my life. But really, the biggest decision was actually accepting the school's offer for admittance along with all of the work it was going to require. I'm straight out of my undergrad. Graduated with a 3.17. I was mainly a B type of student (opposed to straight A's). For  most of my classes, I could finish them with a solid B. Most of my psych classes gave tons of extra credit and I banked on that ridiculously hard. I graduated with a 3.40 in my psychology classes. Three months after graduating undergrad, I started grad school.

I knew I'd have to put more effort into my studies and make more professional connections. But it is a lot more difficult than I had expected. Tons of information to learn with mainly just a midterm and a final to decide your final grade. I failed my one class' midterm. Got lucky on my second class' midterm and pulled a B. And the lowest grade you can get in the third class is a B-. So I have a B- in that. So my grades are a B, B-, and a D. I haven't began working in a lab, because I feel like I don't have time. I study so hard and still don't know how to get decent grades. The finals are going to be written. With a lot of applying the content learned to reality, which is very hard for me. I just don't know how to study. In my undergrad, I just highlighted within the textbook and read over my highlights repeatedly. I'd pull a B 75% of the time. Extra credit helped me for the 25% that I got Ds and Cs on the exams. Plus it was multiple exams so it was 3 or 4 chapters opposed to 7 on a single exam. I just don't know what to do. I've gone to my professors but they can't help me study. They can just give me advice and such. But it doesn't help. And I become mentally exhausted so easily. 

I'm not a very social person, not in a school setting anyways. I just keep to myself and take notes. All the friends I made in undergrad were outside of my classes. I didn't really know anyone in my major. I'm one of the youngest in my program, at 22. There's another 22 year old, a 23, and a 24. Everyone else is 26+. And I am the only one in my program who hasn't had a single job psych related. I feel like such an outcast. And the other people in my program are always doing things together. I don't even feel like I'd have the time to go out even if I wanted to. 

I want to become a counselor. Not sure what type yet, but I want help people. I want to help middle school, high school, and college students get through life. My life growing up was not easy. I had very strict parents which turned me to drugs and alcohol when I was in high school. I got myself through it though and am working to help others. I know that other people wouldn't be able to do what I did and would fall hard in life. I have so many friends that that was their reality. I have the motivation to get me to where I want to be. But I feel like I don't have the skills.

I don't have the studying technique. And I'm always tired and not in the mood to talk to people. I try to workout daily but I don't have the time with studying. I'm just really scared that I worked my whole life through so much BS but in the end I'm gonna fall short. I just don't know how to study. I've tried note cards, reading and highlighting. I waste so much time. That's also because I'm a ridiculously slow reader. And I need to take breaks every 30-45 minutes because I become so mentally exhausted. And the courses I'm taking are prerequisites for the program and I have zero interest in them. Grad school is 1,000 levels above undergrad and I just wasn't prepared for it. But I don't have the intellect or resume to get a worthwhile job and I need to figure this out. The only person holding me back from my future is myself, but I feel like I can't overcome myself. 

[knp]

3 hours ago, Exhausted_Grad said:

I just don't know how to study. In my undergrad, I just highlighted within the textbook and read over my highlights repeatedly.

Oh, sweetie! No, you're totally right: you need to be doing the opposite of this. You don't have a whole lot of time and space to experiment, I realize, but can you try reverse outlining your chapters? Write summaries in your own words—I am comfortable enough with my material to allow some quotation, but for really difficult readings, I only let myself paraphrase. There's lots of other tips and tricks you can try, but you want to force that extra step of comprehension, not just remembering. Is there a study skills center you can go to through your university?

3 hours ago, Exhausted_Grad said:

That's also because I'm a ridiculously slow reader. And I need to take breaks every 30-45 minutes because I become so mentally exhausted.

That sounds about like my attention span, so don't worry about it. If at all possible, try to make those breaks good breaks, though. Go divert your attention into something else—look out the window, do some stretches, make yourself a copy and try to think about other things—for ten or fifteen minutes, so that you can come back a little refreshed. (Getting exhausted and then clicking around the internet for twenty minutes as a 'break' will do much less for your renewed attention span.)

I'm sure other posters will have more thorough advice, but you can do this!

[MarineBluePsy]

Most campuses have some kind of student resource center that hosts workshops on effective study tips, speed reading, note taking, etc so look into that.  Also check in the library because sometimes they host these types of workshops or can direct you to books, videos, or websites that can assist you.  I have not heard of many campuses offering any kind of tutoring services for graduate students (because apparently our professors are supposed to be helpful and I find that is rarely the case) but it wouldn't hurt to inquire about that as well.  

What I have learned is that there isn't one way to study and many people need to change the method of study depending on the material.  For some classes group study might be more effective than independent study or using flashcards might be more helpful than re-reading the textbook.  Some people are visual learners, some learn by doing things, etc.  It really is just trial and error.

And I know this is easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to everyone else.  There is nothing wrong with you not having had a psych related job already and there is nothing wrong with you being younger than some of your classmates.  You have a different background and your own interests therefore your path through grad school and a career is going to be unique.  It is also perfectly fine to seek friends outside of your program or even completely off campus if that is where you find you fit in.  

Another key thing to understand in grad school (in addition to the fact that extra credit is nonexistent) is that you cannot possibly do everything.  It is not possible to read every word of every assigned reading, attend every talk/symposium/seminar, research every question that interests you, and submit a poster/paper to every conference.  The sooner you figure out where it is best for you to devote your attention and what you can put less energy into the better off you will be.  You'll never complete everything on your desk in the amount of time you have so go to bed when you're tired, eat when you're hungry, and exercise or go do something fun when you can't learn anymore.  There is always something else to read, study, learn, or attend but breaks and self care prevent burn out.

[dvdngu]

19 hours ago, knp said:

Write summaries in your own words

This is a VERY good way to study. When I was an undergrad, I rarely ever studied. Well, in a traditional sense. I would essentially re teach my friends the material presented in the class. Though my lesson would be shaky at first, I would eventually be able to convey the concepts clearly and concisely. In my experience, the professors have been teaching the same material for years and years, so things that are apparent to them might not be so obvious to students. So, in being able to simplify the lessons in MY OWN words and teach it to other students, I can ensure that I fully understand a concept. Only when I couldn't clearly explain something in the class would I go back and review my notes/book until i would be able to.