Dealing with Funding Rejection

[Juniormints_please]

Hey y'all,

I spent 5-6 months preparing my grad school applications and funding applications to the Marshall & Gates Cambridge Scholarships. I am applying to UK universities since they have better Masters programs & faculties for my specific field of study. Funding will be key to my decision to pursue postgraduate studies in the UK in the next academic year.

I had been holding out crazy hope for the Marshall & Gates Cambridge scholarships - at least an invitation to an interview. I'm a Fulbright Research Student Grantee 2015-16 and have held various internships, worked my way through my undergrad, wrote strong statements that were reviewed by my fellowship advisor, and had great recommenders. But alas, I did not receive an invitation to interview for either.

It's really put me in a tailspin - literally, what/who makes the cut for these scholarships? It's been difficult to accept the fact I do not belong in this upper echelon of academics (narcissistic? conceited? deluded? Most likely) and it's been even more difficult for me to be motivated enough to continue to hunt for and apply for funding... but if I don't, the prospect of crushing student debt will keep me from getting my dream education.

Just looking for some fellow applicants to commiserate with - and any tips to keep my head up after all the rejection.

 

[fuzzylogician]

33 minutes ago, Juniormints_please said:

It's really put me in a tailspin - literally, what/who makes the cut for these scholarships? It's been difficult to accept the fact I do not belong in this upper echelon of academics (narcissistic? conceited? deluded? Most likely) and it's been even more difficult for me to be motivated enough to continue to hunt for and apply for funding... but if I don't, the prospect of crushing student debt will keep me from getting my dream education.

As an academic you'll experience a lot of rejection. It hurts, but you have to learn that it's not personal and it doesn't mean you're not good enough. I really like this post about rejection in academia, for some perspective: 

http://makewritelearn.com/rejection-letter

Also, this: http://www.chronicle.com/article/MeMy-Shadow-CV/233801

[fuzzylogician]

And when you're feeling slightly better, this: http://www.universalrejection.org/#about

[TakeruK]

As fuzzy said, rejection sucks and it's a big part of academia. If it makes you feel better, I'm applying for postdoc funding and the two fellowships I would have liked the most have already rejected me. Oh well. I've also got rejected from a lot of top tier funding sources at the undergrad and grad level. 

It's common and normal to feel what you are feeling at first. Rejection feels very personal, even though you normally get a very impersonal form letter. But I think it's important to remember that it's not a rejection of you. Especially for these super prestigious and super competitive fellowships, at some point, winning one is due to luck as well as your materials. Everyone is going to be highly qualified, so it can come down to factors completely out of your control. For grad school admissions etc., it could just be that they already accepted another student to work with that professor, or that a certain professor didn't get some other funding so they can't take on a student after all etc. I'm saying this as someone who has won some of these prestigious fellowships in the past---I know that at some level, there was some luck / things I can't control involved. 

So, being rejected from this highly prestigious and competitive award does not mean that you don't belong in this upper echelon of scholars. These awards aren't perfect predictors of future success and there are more people in the "upper echelon" than there are these types of awards. That's why more and more awards are being created everyday but we rarely hear anyone complain that there are too many academic funding options that it's "diluting" talent! As an example, a professor in my department has been named on several "top 30 under 30" type lists. He recently appeared on a list with President Barack Obama! He's definitely in the upper echelon. But when he applied for the NSF Graduate Research Fellowship Program? Rejected. This is award that is far less competitive than what you applied to (2000 awardees get the NSF GRFP each year). 

In academia, we often focus only on the successes. When we read about CVs, or hear an introduction of a speaker, or read their papers, we only see or hear about what worked. If you could read the "CV of failures" (e.g. https://www.princeton.edu/~joha/Johannes_Haushofer_CV_of_Failures.pdf, similar to the "shadow CV" that fuzzy linked, it was the topic of a Nature article that started a little trend that you can google) of prominent professors, you will see that there are many rejections along the path to success. The best people in our fields don't just go winning one award after another, despite what it might seem. And finally, my opinion has always been that if you didn't receive any rejections then you probably didn't push yourself/challenge yourself enough!

So far, in this postdoc application cycle, I already have 4 rejections. Most of the applications haven't returned a decision yet though (I'll hear about most things in January). One of the rejections came at a really bad time, while I am writing essays for another prestigious fellowship. It really tanked my confidence. I think it's definitely okay to feel bad about yourself and take some time to process these feelings. After a rejection, I allow myself to feel sorry for myself for a little bit. I get myself a treat, maybe it's the sugary coffee drink that I don't really need but I'll have anyways, or a nice dinner, or that piece of cheesecake in the supermarket bakery aisle. Then, I remind myself of my past successes, and remember that it's not a rejection of me, it just didn't work out. And it's time to move onto the next challenge. I think the tips and steps in fuzzy's first link (from makewritelearn) are very good and I learned to follow similar steps to process rejection (although I haven't seen this particular article before so I still learned a few things).

[Crucial BBQ]

This is not just subject to academic, it is very much a part of life/career in general.  Numerous applications before landing a job even though you may be one of the most qualified for the position, passed up for promotion/raise for no discernible reason even though you are well qualified/deserving, being paid less than a lazy co-worker, and on and on.  

Since the OP is ultimately about the written word, here are more rejections:

http://www.litrejections.com/best-sellers-initially-rejected/