Asking for LOR with short notice

[Psychgrad27]

I've decided to apply to a program where the deadline is in 5 days. Two of my letter writers have written letters for me in the past, so they would just have to tweak them a little, and they are laid back enough that I don't expect them to be (very) upset when I ask them on short notice. However, I am very worried about asking the third. To be perfectly candid, I suffer from serious anxiety, and a lot has happened lately that has really triggered it. Of course, having put things off to the last minute, I am feeling even more anxious. I wholly understand that and have scolded myself for it repeatedly, I assure you. This professor is either very warm or very cold, and honestly it seems to depend on her mood that day, but I think she would be able to write a strong letter for me if she agrees to do it. Even if the institution receives it late, it would be better than nothing. My concern is I really do not want to offend her by asking for something on such short notice, and I don't want her to think that I was being irresponsible. I know, in some ways that might not be off, but I became so obsessed with doing things right, I completely froze. I know that revealing mental health issues is kind of a big "no no" when you want to assure programs you are stable enough to complete the program. My therapist suggests I do not offer "explanation" but apologize profusely and perhaps leave her a voicemail in addition to an email. It would be very hard to meet with her in person without setting up a meeting since it is winter break, and she is seldom in her office anyway. I am a bit concerned that zero explanation of any sort will cause problems. My plan was to write the email/leave a voicemail where I apologize a lot and outline the reasons I really value her as a professor and mentor. I was going to attach my SOP and CV and ask what else she may need. I was also going to include copies of my final papers/projects from her classes, but those have been lost. Has anyone ever had to do this before? Ideas of how to do this correctly? I do not want to damage my relationship with her when asking for help. 

[shur42]

You might be overthinking it. She's an adult and a professor, and it's very unlikely she'll be offended by your request. The worst that can happen is that she'll refuse due to insufficient time, but I think this might be prevented by providing lots and lots of information. Send a document containing information on how you two worked together / got to know each other, as well as information on your achievements. Send your CV and SOP, writing samples, all the stuff that might help her write the letter.

I also think that you should apologize, but without overdoing it, and without sharing any personal health details. Also, maybe you could just call her instead of leaving a voicemail? 

Maybe you should also think about a backup LOR writer, if she doesn't accept or doesn't reply. 

[OhSoSolipsistic]

I would frame it as a request without any type of pressure. Even though it's likely the case that your app hinges upon her willingness and action to write on your behalf, frame the request in such a way that implies that her decision won't be the ultimate factor despite the fact it's likely all the other materials will be in except her rec. Maybe it's not the best way to go about it because she won't know the urgency of it, but you also don't want her to begrudgingly agree to do it and for that to come across in the letter. You might want to call the school and ask for an extension as a courtesy for all your recommenders also.

I wouldn't include any material in the initial request either. Just something along the lines of: "There's this one other school that looks like a really good fit for me that I didn't consider until very recently, but unfortunately the deadline is in a few days. I apologize for asking so late and I completely understand if you have other commitments, but would you be willing to write a recommendation for me if I applied? Regardless of your response, I want to thank you again for your previous recommendations." I'm not sure if this is your only school or not or if she's even written other recs for you - but either way, something similar to that.

And then respond immediately after her positive response with all the materials and info, or a polite "I understand, thank you very much for considering anyway" if her response is negative.

Edited January 10, 2017 by OhSoSolipsistic
clarity

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

17 minutes ago, OhSoSolipsistic said:

I would frame it as a request without any type of pressure. Even though it's likely the case that your app hinges upon her willingness and action to write on your behalf, frame the request in such a way that implies that her decision won't be the ultimate factor since it's likely that all the other materials will be in except her rec. Maybe it's not the best way to go about it because she won't know the urgency/seriousness about it, but you also don't want her to begrudgingly agree to do it and for that to come across in the letter. You might want to call the school and ask for an extension as a courtesy for all your recommenders also.

I wouldn't include any material in the initial request either. Just something along the lines of: "There's this one other school that looks like a really good fit for me that I didn't consider until very recently, but unfortunately the deadline is in a few days. I apologize for asking so late and I completely understand if you have other commitments, but would you be willing to write a recommendation for me if I applied? Regardless of your response, I want to thank you again for your previous recommendations." I'm not sure if this is your only school or not or if she's even written other recs for you - but either way, something similar to that.

And then respond immediately after her positive response with all the materials and info, or a polite "I understand, thank you very much for considering anyway" if her response is negative.

This is exactly what I would do. 

[fuzzylogician]

^As others have said, the best approach is to email right away, and keep the initial request very brief. You don't need to apologize too profusely, either. I would simply ask for a letter to support your application to Awesome U, and acknowledge the short timeline to submission. You might say you just recently discovered this one or that you're sorry you didn't email her sooner, but you would truly appreciate her support of your application. Offer to send any materials that would help her write a strong letter on your behalf, including your CV, SOP, writing sample, and bullet-point list of what you think could be included in the letter, but don't send any of those things along with the first email. If you get a positive reply, that's when you send them (hopefully, soon after you get the reply!), otherwise, you thank her for considering your request and say you understand that it was short notice and may not have left her enough time to write the letter. The first step though is to just send the email, and not to worry about it too much. You aren't going to be the first (or last) person to ask for a letter last-minute. (FWIW I am about to email 3 people to ask for a letter due in 5 days, and while I feel bad about that, I know that they'll understand that this suddenly came up, and they'll still want to help; I also expect that at least one of them will probably submit late, and that's fine too.)

[Psychgrad27]

Thanks, yeah I'm over thinking. Anxiety does that, but it's good to be reminded that it IS overrhinking. I stress myself out more than any professor ever has lol. 

[fuzzylogician]

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1047

[Fledermaus]

7 hours ago, OhSoSolipsistic said:

I would frame it as a request without any type of pressure. Even though it's likely the case that your app hinges upon her willingness and action to write on your behalf, frame the request in such a way that implies that her decision won't be the ultimate factor despite the fact it's likely all the other materials will be in except her rec. Maybe it's not the best way to go about it because she won't know the urgency of it, but you also don't want her to begrudgingly agree to do it and for that to come across in the letter. You might want to call the school and ask for an extension as a courtesy for all your recommenders also.

I wouldn't include any material in the initial request either. Just something along the lines of: "There's this one other school that looks like a really good fit for me that I didn't consider until very recently, but unfortunately the deadline is in a few days. I apologize for asking so late and I completely understand if you have other commitments, but would you be willing to write a recommendation for me if I applied? Regardless of your response, I want to thank you again for your previous recommendations." I'm not sure if this is your only school or not or if she's even written other recs for you - but either way, something similar to that.

And then respond immediately after her positive response with all the materials and info, or a polite "I understand, thank you very much for considering anyway" if her response is negative.

I agree and disagree here. I believe it is fine to ask, but do so professionally and keep it brief. It is fine to give a short explanation that you discovered a school that may be a best fit, but only just recently. That kind of thing happens. 

 Here is where I disagree: I recommend you provide all available materials with the request. If she says no, then whatever, but if she says yes, you are equipping her to have the maximum time possible with maximum resources to write the letter. She won't have to wait on you to send her anything. Make her job as easy as possible and she will be more likely to help. Sending the CV and SOP with the request is not added pressure on her, it shows courtesy on your part.

Just remember, if you don't ask, you guarantee yourself a 'no' answer.  Give yourself a chance at a yes.

Edited January 11, 2017 by Fledermaus

[cabraloca]

Just do it! Whether you get it or not, at least you asked. The same thing happened to me actually, but I had even less time (four days). I had to hunt down professors at their offices and ask them in person. They all said yes happily. Best of luck! Don't forget to breathe!

 

Edited January 11, 2017 by cabraloca