stresschicken Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I have received two offers, one for a Master's, the other for a PhD program - both were through very kind emails. However, I am committed to making a joint decision with my significant other and it's difficult for me to feel excited about the offers until I know both of us can go/have the funding to enable us to accept. It's still early on in the admissions process and we probably won't hear from his department till one month later. Is it okay to avoid making contact, or would this be viewed negatively later if I take the offer?
Espoir Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 Hi stresschicken, Situation sounds very familiar to me...it does feel streeful when you'd raher have 'we both' are going to XYZ university rather than 'oh I am going to XYZ univ'.. In case both the admits are from universities that rank high on your list, your should probably write to the faculty you are keen to work with..especially if you are going to take the PhD offer..Else it would be sensible for you to wait for say 2-3 weeks and see if your 'significant other' gets an admit (which I hope for you he does..) and for other decisions you may be expecting as well. But do keep note of the deadlines... I have received two offers, one for a Master's, the other for a PhD program - both were through very kind emails. However, I am committed to making a joint decision with my significant other and it's difficult for me to feel excited about the offers until I know both of us can go/have the funding to enable us to accept. It's still early on in the admissions process and we probably won't hear from his department till one month later. Is it okay to avoid making contact, or would this be viewed negatively later if I take the offer?
repatriate Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I have received two offers, one for a Master's, the other for a PhD program - both were through very kind emails. However, I am committed to making a joint decision with my significant other and it's difficult for me to feel excited about the offers until I know both of us can go/have the funding to enable us to accept. It's still early on in the admissions process and we probably won't hear from his department till one month later. Is it okay to avoid making contact, or would this be viewed negatively later if I take the offer? If you feel like you should write to them, why not just let them know that you received the offer of admission, feel honored by the opportunity, and consider them an excellent choice but that you plan to take a few more weeks to make a careful decision and will let them know as soon as you are able.
rising_star Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I realize you have to make a joint decision, but you might as well get all the info on the department now. What's the point of waiting?
socialpsych Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 You should definitely write to acknowledge the offer. Not so much because it could get you in trouble later if you don't, exactly; just because it's both polite and expected, and they may wonder what's up if they don't hear anything from you (especially the PhD program). They don't expect you to make a decision right away. The wording repatriate suggested above is totally fine.
hogmommy Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 I have wanted to start a thread very similar to this, but hesitated. I received my acceptance about a week and a half ago with the suggestion in my letter to "contact your future advisor as soon possible to discuss your program." I still haven't done so. I only applied to one school, so this program is obviously my choice! Still, I've been procrastinating. Why, you ask? This program is also my UG department. I have very specific (and, I think, great) research ideas and there is one prof at the school (my UG mentor) that has similar research interests. I wanted so badly to work with him (pick me, choose me, love me!) Unfortunately, years and years ago (2001, anyone?) I left him on not-the-greatest terms. I was in the honors program at that point which required a thesis for graduation. When presented with his idea for a thesis topic, he gave me the equivalent of putting together a 10,000 piece puzzle without a picture to reference. Doable? Yes. Ridiculous? Yes (at least in my 21 year old mind.) I basically laughed in his face and told him that I would just not get the honors designation if it meant doing this. (I really hate myself as I was at 21. Really.) So now, I'm being a big fat chicken and am afraid to write him. Obviously, he accepted me (and, according to the rumor mill, ONLY me) so the hard feelings that I perceived him to have are probably non-existent. A big part of my statement of interest was explaining the ways in which I've matured over the past 7 years as a stay-at-home mom and how much more committed I am at 30. Despite drafting multiple emails to him, I have continued to chicken out before actually sending them. Any advice?
socialpsych Posted February 18, 2010 Posted February 18, 2010 Despite drafting multiple emails to him, I have continued to chicken out before actually sending them. Any advice? I am wondering what exactly you are trying to say in this email. If you are feeling so anxious about it, maybe you're trying to fit too much in there. Start small and simple. Just say thank you for the offer and that you're excited about the chance to work with him again. He will respond, and maybe that will make you feel more heartened, and you can take the next step. One thing at a time! How would you feel about that? Congratulations on your acceptance.
stresschicken Posted February 18, 2010 Author Posted February 18, 2010 Thanks for sharing your insights. I did send out the thank you replies, but haven't yet taken the next step to contacting faculty and current grad students. My thinking is that there's no point getting others and myself excited when I don't know whether I can attend. My question now is: How would it look if an accepted student at a doctoral program held off making contact for a month? Would it send a lasting negative signal of disinterest? Academia is a small world, after all.
limeinthecoconut Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Hmm, there's no harm in just establishing contact? I just e-mailed the potential advisors, and thanked them for reviewing and supporting my application.
Medievalmaniac Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 MAKE CONTACT. Send preliminary questions. Explain that you are delighted to have been accepted and want to know more, specifically, about the kind of work you will be able to do with the professor(s) in question, because you have multiple offers. Ask what s/he is currently working on. Is s/he presenting at any conferences in the near future where you might be able to hear his/her work and meet up? Tell him / her the kinds of things you are interested in and ask how that might fit in with the department and/or his or her work. Don't ramble on, be professional, polite and engaging in your writing. You'll get an answer, although it might be a few days or even a week or so later. This is a good idea for three major reasons: First of all, you'll be more informed to make a decision about which program is your best fit dependent upon their answers. Secondly, if you end up going to that school, you have established the beginnings of a relationship with the professor, and starting will be less awkward because (ideally) you'll be on the same wavelength and already have a nascent plan in place for what you are going to be doing. Thirdly - and key - if you DON'T go to that program, you have an outside professor who has heard of you, and you can establish a relationship with him/her that will serve you well when you go knocking on doors for outside readers of your dissertation, prospective jobs, etc. etc. People tend to forget that at the doctoral level, you aren't just applying to your schools of choice - you have to cultivate a relationship with your field. That means meeting as many people who work in it as possible and being familiar with their work. The professors of the schools you don't choose are not going to take that personally. They have MORE than enough on their plate. But they do appreciate the opportunity to talk about their work and to exchange ideas, whether you are working with them or not. And they DO remember good emails and proactive behavior. Good luck! phid, socialpsych and keylimekai 3
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