Do you really care?

[2bphd]

Just a thought.

[quadsbaby]

I care.

[psych21]

I care as well. We've all been suffering.

[Confused Goose]

I care too. I see my friends agonizing over the wait, and very much wish them get admits already. Same goes for all fellow applicants, even though most are strangers.

[johndiligent]

I care a lot. Though, admittedly, I would rather be the one accepted.

[eucalyptus]

Honestly, I care if my friends are rejected, but not about the anonymous mass of other applicants. I don't wish for everyone to get into all the programs they want; I like that PhD admissions are competitive and selective, and I don't think that everyone who wants a PhD should get one.

[Summit_Bid]

I care. I know what it feels like to be rejected so when I find out I feel bad for them. If I get an acceptance--which I haven't yet--I know I'll feel even more bad that I got in and they didn't. That's not to say I wish I didn't get in of course. None of my friends are applying to programs but if they were I'd of course want them to get in-I have to admit that I'd then also really want to get an admit somewhere too! Most people "I know" are other forumites who are pretty much strangers so I get where your "don't care" attitude comes from.

I agree with the above poster that I'm glad PhD admissions are selective. In a way I wish everyone (well, almost anyone) could get a PhD if they wanted. I see why it's impossible (funding, lack of one on one advising etc.) so I respect the competitive process. I also know that if EVERYone who wanted one got in then yes, we'd have more research done, but it wouldn't all be quality. It makes the application process more stressful but and the same time fun and more rewarding when that acceptance letter does arrive.

[Confused Goose]

Most people "I know" are other forumites who are pretty much strangers so I get where your "don't care" attitude comes from.

Most of the applicants I know in person are forumites themselves. Having a face to associate with them, and knowing them personally, makes a difference in how one feels about those who haven't yet got in. I'm not saying everyone should get in, but a lot of people who I know (the faces to the forum) are qualified and able enough to pursue a PhD. Perhaps that explains my perspective.

[myrrh]

I do care about whether or not my friends can get in. And for those I don't really know, sometime, or say in most of the cases, I would feel what they feel as I'm kinda sensitive.

But anyway it's how this thing goes: someone in, someone else out. Thank God that rejections could never be the end of someone's academic career.

[The Pseudo grad student]

I do really care about who gets rejected because it's something that I don't want anyone going through. I'm one of those highly sensitive people who don't like seeing others in pain and instead wish I could take it from them. I especially think about "what if that happens to me" type of thing and believe that karmic retribution might be paid one way or another. I'm actually glad to hear that so many people in this forum are actually empathetic to what others are going through. It truly makes it a comforting community.

[Branwen daughter of Llyr]

I care, especially if it's people I've developed some kind of camaraderie in the GradCafe community. Obviously, I'm not happy when my friends (virtual or real life) get rejected from a school they really want to go to.

But then, I also care if random people don't get in, especially if they tell a story I can empathize with. It's difficult to get rejected from anything, especially something you've worked hard for, and want very badly.

The only people I won't care about are people who have been abusive or have acted/said nasty things. If they don't get in, I may shrug. On the other hand, their insecurities about their chances of getting in may have prompted them to behave in such a horrible way in the first place.

This is a community overall, and hopefully we develop a sense of togetherness in this process. I know that I did, and I feel for each and every person that has been rejected from a school. Even if a rejection is expected and emotionally prepared for, it still stings.

[Strong Flat White]

Just a thought.

If you want to be completely narcisistic, you can still care about rejections because they might illuminate some aspect of the admissions process for a particular program or a partiular "type" of applicant... for those who "care" about that kind of thing even if they don't care about people.  I'm assuming you care about your own admissions decisions?

[Tiglath-Pileser III]

I care to give people accurate information about my application process because they have given me accurate info. And I care enough to encourage others through this tough time as others have already cared for me. It is part of that maxim, "Do for others what you would expect them to do for you."