oopalfrootz

Graduate students are funded ? 

For my PhD interviews at Oxford I met with faculty individually for ~30 mins and spoke to them about a recent research project I'd completed. They typically asked questions about the background theory of what I was talking about, or more tangential 'what if...'. I really enjoyed the interview: the project was an interesting, challenging one that I liked talking about, and I had some really intelligent discussions with the PIs that day.
 
It's perfectly OK to say "I don't know" or "Can you repeat the question?" in these types of interviews. The professors will usually try to guide you towards the right answer, either by rephrasing the question or asking it in a different way. When I was faced with a question I couldn't immediately work out, I told the faculty what was going through my head ("Well I first thought it could be explained by the Theory of Y, but then I realised a, b & c don't fit with that..."). At least that way they knew that I was thinking something!
 
My interview day wasn't tied to a particular studentship, but I'd still recommend thinking of a research project that you could talk about if asked, and revise the mechanisms, underlying theories, etc that accompany it.
 
Good luck, I hope that helps!

On my visa interview they were interested in my research topic (actually i think they were genuinely interested haha) . I am guessing they have to verify that you know your subject. At the same time they were expressing that X is a great city and wished me a happy time there. For the poster above, I had visas before and they were interested in them, I think they wanted to verify that they were properly cancelled. Just in case I would take my old passports and paperwork with me (but probably you know this).

Oh sorry for the person who did undergrad in the US, I heard that having an American boyfriend or girlfriend can be problematic so if you have one do not mention it.

It's not declining that may burn bridges, it's waiting until the last day and declining that I felt may have been irritating, since as I said, the cohorts are small (in part because the departments aren't funded well enough to take on very large cohorts).  Further, I had an offer of aid at the school I chose which I did not disclose to the school I declined until after I declined (they asked), so I thought it may have been seen negatively that I did not try to negotiate.
 
And yes, if you really want to go into it, sure, both programs were good fits and I could have succeeded at either, no doubt.  But the whole process has been stressful and emotional because it's finally accepting that I'm a] losing a great advisor who was a fit on both and professional and personal level (someone I've worked with through my master's but is leaving the school) and b] making a life choice (PhD) which might result in breaking up with a long-term partner.  So, I'm glad that for you the application process was simple and rational, but I'd appreciate you not discounting that some of us don't accept change as readily or have conditions that make decisions so straightforward.  I can understand the frustration people have expressed over some users seemingly sitting on too many offers, but to come into the thread to tell people how they allow to feel seems pretty unnecessary.
 
I also didn't say anything about writing letters "stained with tears" or directly say that I was "emotionally troubled".

what are these "feelings" that you speak of? could i leverage them for success in the future? 

I'm sorry if your program situation is all that different from mine, but I am generally of the feeling that if you've done your proper homework on where to apply, where you eventually attend may not affect your eventual success, compared to your work ethic, networking skills and simply luck.
 
Is choosing an offer difficult? certainly. is it important? of course.
 
But to describe yourself as "emotionally troubled" and possibly writing letters "stained with tears" really comes across as melodramatic and drama queen.
 
Again, as an electrical engineering prospective looking at largish cohorts and a vast, versitile academic field, i see your supposed anguish with some eye-rolling. As for burning bridges, i've been lucky enough that all my potential professors were quite civil and happy for me, not vindictive.
 
I see it as evidence of hubris to think that a professor of a major university would be so desperate/pleased to have you that they'll be out for revenge should you decline. Remember, they've been through this before, both as graduate students and as professors.

I apologize, I did not intend for it to come across as such. 
 
I do not, however, feel that I am in the wrong here. Burning bridges (as I have now done) stresses me out. It was in my nature to keep all of my decisions as "possibilities" until I had to let them go, and for that I am sorry. While I am ecstatic that I now have a great school to which I am committed, the fact that now I only have one option stresses me out. If something goes wrong with this school, I don't have a plan B to fall back on -- at this point, it's all or nothing. Hopefully this can shed some light into my madness. 
 
Furthermore, I have put considerable effort into my studies, each application, studying each school's program, and an average of ~$25 + 80 per school (GRE score plus application fee). Please forgive me if i resist the idea that I was simply "hogging 6 offers" as some type of pig

In the end I was torn between three programs, but my situation was a bit odd. I had one offer in hand for the past month, one came through on Friday (immediately after they learned about the first offer), and I was waiting on what I considered my top choice.
 
Unfortunately, yesterday I learned that my top choice was unable to make an offer due to funding, despite the POI wanting to accept me. So, this morning I was charged with the task of turning down my first offer. I REALLY liked the POI, thought her lab was an excellent fit, and felt I could have learned the most in that program. However, the program was geared toward Ed Psych while my main focus is in Social Psych and it came down to what I wanted for a career in the long term. I just received a response from the POI I turned down and I am crushed, as she is still incredibly supportive despite my not attending her program.
 
While this application season was incredibly stressful, coming out of it now I am happy to say that I think that I have successfully begun to develop relationships with future colleagues and collaborators.
 

You seriously waited this long to reply to your other 6 offers?  Might not want to tout the fact that you hogged 6 offers for weeks or months at the cost of others on the waitlist or hoping to hear from one of those programs before making a decision to attend elsewhere.
 
Take another read over your post and see how conceited it sounds.

I love this thread so much, but I never had anything to add earlier since my family is, by and large, cool with the idea of me going to grad school. However, now that I've made my decision I've had quite a few good ones come my way. MY dad wanted me to attend Pitt, which is in super easy distance of home, and he kept giving me ridiculous reasons not to go to UT Austin.
 
"Pitt is offering you a fantastic opportunity!" (Whereas Austin is offering me chopped liver?)
 
"You already know people in the department at Pitt! You'll have to start over again at Austin!" (because knowing people is the hallmark of research fit and program compatibility).
 
"You can never tell about people in the south." (I don't even...)
 
"There's the chance that some of your professor's might be racist; you don't want to go into that environment" (you know, because everyone in Texas is racist. Notwithstanding the fact that most of the faculty got their degrees in, and are probably from, the north!).
 
And from the family friends:
"You're moving to Texas? Is your father going to let you?" (because it's not like I'm a grown adult who has lived almost entirely away from home for eight years now!)

Many of these are funny. But what about what one of your truly jackass, ignorant relatives say. This is one I got, "Are you never going to get a job? Isn't that enough school?'

Others:
"When are you going to get married? You should get married first then start you PhD."

Extremely limited contact with family is definitely one of the perks of the PhD for me. 

I've been getting a lot of the, "Don't go to school X, the cost of living is way too high" comments from family lately. I appreciate the concern, but I'm anticipating poverty wherever I end up going, so it's not that much of an issue.

Congratulations!  I bet that's a huge relief for you.  I wonder if schools restrain admissions related emails on April 1st.  I doubt it, but it's an entertaining thought, that we're both that desperate and that paranoid. 

I applied to three schools this year. #s 2 and 3 were more prestigious than my #1 choice. 2 and 3 rejected me early. #1 had late interviews.
 
#1 sent out acceptances today, April 1, of which I received one! Suffice to say I was extremely happy with this news.
 
One of the four people I told asked me if it was an April Fools joke.
 
UGH.

Bring every piece of information you can to the visa interview at the US embassy. They probably won't ask for most of it, but on the London US embassy website it says that incoming scientists and professionals should bring a CV. So bring your CV, bank statement, offer letter, SEVIS number, details of salary and scholarships... everything. Make sure you bring a passport photo or 2 that look relatively recent; supposed to be last 6 months. 
 
When I applied for a J-1 in the past, they didn't ask to see my bank statement, CV - even my offer letter. But if they had asked I hadn't been able to produce them - I'm thinking that would have been bad news. There was a grumble that my passport photo didn't look recent enough - "your hair appears to grow quickly, madam". But it still went through okay... 

Mother, after dropping a travel guide on my desk with pages flagged: "We were just talking to a lady who lived in city x about thirty years ago and she absolutely loved it!" (my emphasis)

Yep. Nothing would change at all in thirty years. 

I'm inclined to say that this is exactly the kind of thinking that necessitates the feminist movement. I had my baby at the end of May, took 2 weeks to recover, and then began my summer research internship full time. My baby, of course, was and is my first priority, but my research and education is my passion. I make time for both. Communicate with her in a tactful, caring way that shows you are concerned about her well being -- not just your own progress. For that matter, you are fully capable of working ahead of schedule if finishing before August is your biggest concern. We are all human beings and life happens. It's always better to work ahead when possible. I mean even if she was not pregnant what would you do if she became horribly ill and was out for a few weeks? Plan for life to happen -- including babies.

I like this as part of plan B, lol.

Dad - "Don't worry, you'll get in somewhere"
 
Me - "Well, I didn't"
 
Dad - "You should contact where you went to undergrad. They should be helping you get in!"
 
Then I attempt to explain how that isn't their job... (Father doesn't have a B.S. so it's not entirely his fault he doesn't understand how the system works I suppose).
 
Also,
 
Professor writing letter of recommendation - "Why are you applying to that program? I thought you wanted to get a PhD. It would be a big disappointment if you had to pay for school. I'm sure you'll get into a good program." (good thing I didn't listen to him)
 
Parents - "You should apply to this program, they sent some information to the house." - not realizing that ETS sends out my info and tons of pointless crap gets sent to me
 
Scientist at work that hated his PhD program - "People with a B.S. end up making just as much money in the long run." (not really, since he makes triple what I do)

"Oh wow, you must be one of those smart kids."
 
Thank you for boiling down my whole life into one dismissive phrase. 

So how is your application? ... Still no offer!!!???...Oh, sorry

I'm so tired of hearing this!  Because that's where they have strong programs in my field that match my interests!  Duh!

This is a great idea! *goes out and buys some stereotypically British tea... the more Union Jacks and red phone boxes on the outside the better*

My experience, which I've also shared in other threads, is that you have time exactly and only for those things that you find important. It's easy to get sucked into the work and occasionally indeed there are pressing deadlines and you need to work crazy hours. But on a regular basis, you structure your own time and schedule your own events. If downtime with your family and friends are important to you, you'll have time for them. If you neglect them, on the other hand, you might end up not seeing them at all. Same goes for hobbies, sleep, chores, volunteer work, trips and any other activities - you often need to be active in making those things a priority, but if you do then there is no reason why you can't have a good balance between your work and other aspects of your life.

Once they hear your British accent, all will be forgotten :-)