Fallenvirgo

Oh my god. I entertained those thoughts too. I am desperate to leave my Fascist country and this was the best way and now my options are narrowing down. Seriously, if I am forced to live here I will kill myself. If there's no way out, I refuse to live this unhappy life anymore. I'm not saying this in a bad way, but quality of life is more important. And if I have no hope of ever being happy, which will only happen if I leave here, I need to make plans to end my life. I researched whether Oregon allows assisted suicide for foreigners a few days ago. No definite answer on it yet. Anyway, I don't know you personally and I'm not going to condescend to you with the "it's always going to be better blah blah blather blather pink daisies and puppies" nonsense. I know sometimes some people live lives where it isn't going to better, where there are no other choices because that's the structure of the system we live in. So I'm not gonna say there's always another way, cos I know first hand there isn't always. But there might be. Think about it some more. Give it some time. Come up from the pain of rejection and think about all this again in a few weeks time and see if u feel the same way. Good luck.

Some reading for those who haven't gotten much results. I've said before and I'll say it again. There are many many structural reasons why people don't get into grad school, and a lot of it has nothing to do with you. Also, many people in academia are not smart or bright or thinkers. Just because you haven't gotten in anywhere does not mean you aren't all of those things. http://www.gradientlair.com/post/64895770239/no-phd-for-me-moving-on-with-life

I completely and utterly feel you. This is my third time. There's complicated reasons for why the first two didn't work but I had help from professors this time so I'm still hoping. But I really understand. The money put into it (and I'm an international student so it's abhorrent) and the work (on top of the 12 hour teaching days I already have), the stress of really not knowing whether to plan to leave this coming September or to completely change course with your life. But this is it. After this, I say screw you to academia. There's a lot of problems within academia (issues of racism, classism etc) that really impact your chances that have nothing to do with you. The structure is supposed to support critical thinking, but it rarely really does. Many many academics publish on minute matters that have absolutely nothing to do with the real world. It's often a delusional, cyclical, self-referential, self-congratulating environment. My friend who has sat in on three ad comms at her grad school told me the one thing that gets people in.....is shamelessly sucking up to a POI. These people really like having their egos stroked and according to her, people who do that best get in. I refuse to do that. As I'm sure many people here don't. Some of those people get in, many of them don't. So please, in all reality, it has nothing to do with you. Schools lie constantly about why they didn't take you. They say it's a fit matter, when many times they are too poor to afford someone. But that's not something they can say out loud. There's a lot of secrecy and closed door dealings. That's why sites like gradcafe even exist. Because the process is so opaque and obfuscated that we depend on each other and the little things we've heard and experienced to give us some insight. But we're always on the less knowledgeable end on how these things work. Point of the long rambling message is this: I understand. You're not alone. You is good. You is kind. How this goes is no reflection on you, only a reflection on them and the dubious process. I'm not gonna tell u there is life outside grad school and all that. That would be dismissive and more than a little presumptive. After all, I have no idea how much hope and faith you have put into this. The only thing I can say is, it's not you, it's them. P.S This post comes off as quite negative about grad school, so I will add this one thing. That despite the egos and the bullshitting, I truly believe that outside of activism, academia is the place where change happens. Some people do miraculously change the way people think, and therefore act, by the things they publish. And that is what keeps me applying.

Sigh. Chicago has traditionally had a bad reputation with how they treat applicants during this period but this is some real shit. "As I am sure you are aware?" Well, Chicago, I am aware that you are truly bad at treating applicants you don't immediately love with any kind of respect and understanding. Seriously they have a rep of waiting for a very long time, and sometimes not even bothering to reply or replying with this kind of snarkiness. It made me not wanna apply actually. My favourite proff at undergrad did his Phd at Chicago and spoke wonders of it and really he is the reason I applied. Well thanks for asking for all of us, I suppose. We'll wait till the 18th. Here's a toast to you hoping the next correspondence with them makes them seem a lot less like the dicks they seem right now, cos they're coming back with an acceptance for you.

Yeah we might be. I applied to CP as well though, and haven't heard anything, but honestly, experience wise, it means no for me. Super Congratulations to everyone who has been admitted to at lease one place, it is a feeling I wish I had. Congrats to everyone admitted to UCLA. I wanted that but I don't think it's gonna happen. Some people here have been admitted to 5 schools already and i just awed by how awesome you must be to have achieved that. When should we e-mail them asking if we've been rejected? For both Ohio State and Boulder, I had to e-mail them after I saw everyone else's acceptances and the online status was not changed. I don't wanna wait till April just to get a stupid rejection letter. When would be a good time to ask UCLA and Chicago (the two schools I haven't heard anything from but am sure I am rejected from) to confirm my rejection?

Yeah rejected twice. And probably third time from Chicago as well. This is hard shit. I don't know if I can keep getting rejected like this.

Sooooo, I'm pretty sure I've been rejected from OSU. I did not get an e-mail or anything from anyone. And the application status says pending. That means I am not in the list of candidates whose POI simply doesn't' do the reaching out cos those people would get acceptances, and not in the list of people who have POIs who DO call, cos those people got acceptances too. I am in the list of the 'we don't want you.' *sobs quietly in the corner*

I went to the http://www.appstatus.osu.edu, and went to Applicant Centre, saw 'Application Status' When I clicked on it, I saw 'pending' under Status.

Hi all, Decided to say something rather than lurk away. My OSU application still says that decision is pending. That's not a good sign right? Considering the top applicants are getting interviews? I see the first rejection coming from OSU and I'm already sad.

Actually I was wondering about this. Slightly unethical perhaps? (but this is a business after all), can we tell them we have other offers that offer more? Will they ask to see the letters or anything? Or would it be best to just say "I am unable to attend without a stipend." My country doesn't give scholarships to its own citizens. Its screwed up that way, so without full tuition AND a stipend I can't attend.