Fallenvirgo

I do think that way too, and I'm really not that concerned about results themselves 'cause my cycle is pretty much over and I'm happy with it. But I keep reading these messages and I just couldn't take it any more. Many are worried and anxious about their particular situation, and other ones just don't care at all, and it's a horrible thing. Maybe, I have not been diplomatic with my message, but I don't think a little empathy is too much to ask. 

I wrote it, and I promise it was not spamming and jelly as I've already confirmed my spot at one particular program. 
It has nothing to do with anything else but the fact that those messages are extemely disrespectful to any of the other users at GC that are waiting on their notifications, or even those who didn't get in at all.
 
I meant everything I wrote and I would write it again. People should care a little bit more about the other ones in the same situation and not just let their egos write.

5-th reject. If i won't be admitted - i will kill myself. I don't have future - then i don't have a reason to live

I won't be admitted anywhere. My SOP was totally stupid and childish. My chosen topic was pathetic. I understand it now. What I was hoping for? Why did I spend too much time and money for nothing? I'm idiot. Does anybody have the same feeling? How to bear with it?

Just receive informal email from Professor Hyde. Yale accepted.

Well, a really quiet day... What big ones are still out there? Harvard, Yale, JHU, Penn, and then some of the more specialty programs and those doing rolling admission... I don't know about you all, but I'm ready for this process to start coming to a close. My days will be much more productive when this is all finished shaking out...

Some reading for those who haven't gotten much results. I've said before and I'll say it again. There are many many structural reasons why people don't get into grad school, and a lot of it has nothing to do with you. Also, many people in academia are not smart or bright or thinkers. Just because you haven't gotten in anywhere does not mean you aren't all of those things.  
 
http://www.gradientlair.com/post/64895770239/no-phd-for-me-moving-on-with-life

My post has now been buried but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded here and who sent me PMs encouraging me not to lose hope or think poorly of myself during this process.  Just knowing other people relate to what I am going through is a huge comfort.
 
On that note, I too got the official Berkeley rejection e-mail today .

I completely and utterly feel you. This is my third time. There's complicated reasons for why the first two didn't work but I had help from professors this time so I'm still hoping. But I really understand. The money put into it (and I'm an international student so it's abhorrent) and the work (on top of the 12 hour teaching days I already have), the stress of really not knowing whether to plan to leave this coming September or to completely change course with your life. But this is it. After this, I say screw you to academia.
 
There's a lot of problems within academia (issues of racism, classism etc) that really impact your chances that have nothing to do with you. The structure is supposed to support critical thinking, but it rarely really does. Many many academics publish on minute matters that have absolutely nothing to do with the real world. It's often a delusional, cyclical, self-referential, self-congratulating environment. My friend who has sat in on three ad comms at her grad school told me the one thing that gets people in.....is shamelessly sucking up to a POI. These people really like having their egos stroked and according to her, people who do that best get in. I refuse to do that. As I'm sure many people here don't. Some of those people get in, many of them don't. So please, in all reality, it has nothing to do with you. Schools lie constantly about why they didn't take you. They say it's a fit matter, when many times they are too poor to afford someone. But that's not something they can say out loud. There's a lot of secrecy and closed door dealings. That's why sites like gradcafe even exist. Because the process is so opaque and obfuscated that we depend on each other and the little things we've heard and experienced to give us some insight. But we're always on the less knowledgeable end on how these things work.
 
Point of the long rambling message is this: I understand. You're not alone. You is good. You is kind. How this goes is no reflection on you, only a reflection on them and the dubious process. I'm not gonna tell u there is life outside grad school and all that. That would be dismissive and more than a little presumptive. After all, I have no idea how much hope and faith you have put into this. The only thing I can say is, it's not you, it's them.
 
P.S This post comes off as quite negative about grad school, so I will add this one thing. That despite the egos and the bullshitting, I truly believe that outside of activism, academia is the place where change happens. Some people do miraculously change the way people think, and therefore act, by the things they publish. And that is what keeps me applying.

Thank you zudei!  In some countries, it is 12 times the monthly minimum wage.  3-5 times the salary of middle level employees.  The initial comment and similar comments bother me a lot.  It reflects the fundamental misunderstanding of the rest of the world by Americans - and I say this as someone who has spent most of my life in America.  No wonder American foreign policy is so foolish.

I completely and utterly feel you. This is my third time. There's complicated reasons for why the first two didn't work but I had help from professors this time so I'm still hoping. But I really understand. The money put into it (and I'm an international student so it's abhorrent) and the work (on top of the 12 hour teaching days I already have), the stress of really not knowing whether to plan to leave this coming September or to completely change course with your life. But this is it. After this, I say screw you to academia.
 
There's a lot of problems within academia (issues of racism, classism etc) that really impact your chances that have nothing to do with you. The structure is supposed to support critical thinking, but it rarely really does. Many many academics publish on minute matters that have absolutely nothing to do with the real world. It's often a delusional, cyclical, self-referential, self-congratulating environment. My friend who has sat in on three ad comms at her grad school told me the one thing that gets people in.....is shamelessly sucking up to a POI. These people really like having their egos stroked and according to her, people who do that best get in. I refuse to do that. As I'm sure many people here don't. Some of those people get in, many of them don't. So please, in all reality, it has nothing to do with you. Schools lie constantly about why they didn't take you. They say it's a fit matter, when many times they are too poor to afford someone. But that's not something they can say out loud. There's a lot of secrecy and closed door dealings. That's why sites like gradcafe even exist. Because the process is so opaque and obfuscated that we depend on each other and the little things we've heard and experienced to give us some insight. But we're always on the less knowledgeable end on how these things work.
 
Point of the long rambling message is this: I understand. You're not alone. You is good. You is kind. How this goes is no reflection on you, only a reflection on them and the dubious process. I'm not gonna tell u there is life outside grad school and all that. That would be dismissive and more than a little presumptive. After all, I have no idea how much hope and faith you have put into this. The only thing I can say is, it's not you, it's them.
 
P.S This post comes off as quite negative about grad school, so I will add this one thing. That despite the egos and the bullshitting, I truly believe that outside of activism, academia is the place where change happens. Some people do miraculously change the way people think, and therefore act, by the things they publish. And that is what keeps me applying.

I'm mostly a lurker, but I felt the need to come out and post something.  This is my second cycle.  I got rejected across the board last time - except for an MA program that I couldn't afford.  I put everything into applying again.  My GRE quant score really hurt me last time, and doubled I down this year on my efforts to improve it.  Unfortunately, I never reached the scores most of the admits seem to have (163+), and ended up topping out at 158.
 
I didn't get e-mails from Duke or Berkeley, which pretty much means I'm finished with both of them.  The Berkeley one really hurt.  I visited the campus last fall and fell in love.  I genuinely wanted to go there and am crushed.  I cannot bear the thought of not getting in anywhere again this cycle because it basically means I'm finished with most of the schools I would want to go to.
 
There is really no point to this post other than just getting these feelings off my chest.  No on in real life understands how stressful this is.  All I hear from my family and friends is "of course you'll get in!"  If only they knew the truth of how things really are .

Sigh. Chicago has traditionally had a bad reputation with how they treat applicants during this period but this is some real shit. "As I am sure you are aware?" Well, Chicago, I am aware that you are truly bad at treating applicants you don't immediately love with any kind of respect and understanding. Seriously they have a rep of waiting for a very long time, and sometimes not even bothering to reply or replying with this kind of snarkiness. It made me not wanna apply actually. My favourite proff at undergrad did his Phd at Chicago and spoke wonders of it and really he is the reason I applied.
 
Well thanks for asking for all of us, I suppose. We'll wait till the 18th. Here's a toast to you hoping the next correspondence with them makes them seem a lot less like the dicks they seem right now, cos they're coming back with an acceptance for you.

Sigh. Chicago has traditionally had a bad reputation with how they treat applicants during this period but this is some real shit. "As I am sure you are aware?" Well, Chicago, I am aware that you are truly bad at treating applicants you don't immediately love with any kind of respect and understanding. Seriously they have a rep of waiting for a very long time, and sometimes not even bothering to reply or replying with this kind of snarkiness. It made me not wanna apply actually. My favourite proff at undergrad did his Phd at Chicago and spoke wonders of it and really he is the reason I applied.
 
Well thanks for asking for all of us, I suppose. We'll wait till the 18th. Here's a toast to you hoping the next correspondence with them makes them seem a lot less like the dicks they seem right now, cos they're coming back with an acceptance for you.

Sigh. Chicago has traditionally had a bad reputation with how they treat applicants during this period but this is some real shit. "As I am sure you are aware?" Well, Chicago, I am aware that you are truly bad at treating applicants you don't immediately love with any kind of respect and understanding. Seriously they have a rep of waiting for a very long time, and sometimes not even bothering to reply or replying with this kind of snarkiness. It made me not wanna apply actually. My favourite proff at undergrad did his Phd at Chicago and spoke wonders of it and really he is the reason I applied.
 
Well thanks for asking for all of us, I suppose. We'll wait till the 18th. Here's a toast to you hoping the next correspondence with them makes them seem a lot less like the dicks they seem right now, cos they're coming back with an acceptance for you.

Sigh. Chicago has traditionally had a bad reputation with how they treat applicants during this period but this is some real shit. "As I am sure you are aware?" Well, Chicago, I am aware that you are truly bad at treating applicants you don't immediately love with any kind of respect and understanding. Seriously they have a rep of waiting for a very long time, and sometimes not even bothering to reply or replying with this kind of snarkiness. It made me not wanna apply actually. My favourite proff at undergrad did his Phd at Chicago and spoke wonders of it and really he is the reason I applied.
 
Well thanks for asking for all of us, I suppose. We'll wait till the 18th. Here's a toast to you hoping the next correspondence with them makes them seem a lot less like the dicks they seem right now, cos they're coming back with an acceptance for you.

Sigh. Chicago has traditionally had a bad reputation with how they treat applicants during this period but this is some real shit. "As I am sure you are aware?" Well, Chicago, I am aware that you are truly bad at treating applicants you don't immediately love with any kind of respect and understanding. Seriously they have a rep of waiting for a very long time, and sometimes not even bothering to reply or replying with this kind of snarkiness. It made me not wanna apply actually. My favourite proff at undergrad did his Phd at Chicago and spoke wonders of it and really he is the reason I applied.
 
Well thanks for asking for all of us, I suppose. We'll wait till the 18th. Here's a toast to you hoping the next correspondence with them makes them seem a lot less like the dicks they seem right now, cos they're coming back with an acceptance for you.