ArthChauc

Thanks to the people who've endorsed the Lo and Sons bags. I'm OBSESSED. I think the O.M.G. would be perfect for me, but the price is so expensive, I'm not sure I could justify the purchase. Part of me wants to pull the trigger and say fuck it because it's just that wonderful. I carry at cute Birkin wannabe bag from Modcloth that has been great--I can get my 15 inch Macbook Pro in there along with a glasses case, iPad, notebook, and a bottle of water, no sweat. However, I made the mistake of wearing new jeans without washing them first, and now it has lovely navy blue dye marks on it's otherwise gorgeous gray/taupe faux-leather fabric. Lament. TL;DR: I'm buying that O.M.G. even if I have to sell my body and soul for it.

I just wanted to pop in and say hi! I'm currently an MA student in English at BGSU. Let me know if you have any questions!

So, this is awkward. I was in the midst of scheduling a visit to one of the schools I was accepted to and, before confirming my visit, I found out that I was accepted off of the wait list to a school that would mean that my fiancé and I don't have to live apart for another year--the location was one of the main reasons I applied to this school, but I never dreamed I would be accepted. Within 24 hours of finding out, I emailed the first school to let them know that I would likely not be visiting and needed to talk to my family about this new position. The DGS was very gracious and offered me the weekend to think about it. By Monday morning, I had decided to forgo visiting the school because I knew the odds were slim to none that I would attend, mainly because of my fiancé's career. I responded to the kind email by the DGS with an equally heartfelt email expressing my decision and letting the department know that it was mainly related to geography. I was very sincere and complimentary of the program, and expressed disappointment of not attending. I sent this email about a week and a half ago and it has gone unanswered. I know that it has been read, or else the DGS would have emailed me to see if I was going to end up visiting or not. I called the office and asked if the DGS was around two days after I sent the email, but he was out of the office at the time I called. I figured I would give him a few days to respond, but now that it has been over a week I'm not sure of what to do. Do I just leave it, knowing that he obviously saw the email, and let it go, or should I follow up yet again? My reason for emailing in the first place was because I was extremely ill and had completely lost my voice--I expressed in the first email to him that I hated email, but knew calling would be futile. I just feel like he's "angry" or something for my decision. I hadn't been in contact with any POI at the institution, so there is no one else for me to email. Thoughts? Has anyone else had something like this happen before? It feels super unprofessional--even my thesis advisor was taken aback when I told her.

I just want to add to this already amazing thread with my own "graduate school LDR" story. Mine is probably a little different than those being discussed now, but I thought it might be worth sharing. I met my fiancé during undergrad while I was dating someone else--I was at a party at his house, I thought he was cute, he got my number and called me the next day...but I didn't answer. I was already in a relationship and didn't trust myself to be loyal because I attracted to this guy (now my fiancé), so I ignored his calls. Despite this, we were Facebook friends and I always found him to be self-depricatingly funny and found his humor charming. This past winter, we ran into each other at a wedding of a pair of mutual friends--at this point, it had been five years since we'd seen each other and he was living across the country for work while I was in graduate school, midway through my masters. We ended up spending time together while he was in town and texted constantly after he returned to work eight hours away. From there, our relationship bloomed and between the research papers, mountains of books, and ridiculous schedule, we made something out of what seemed like nothing. This continued for a year and a half. Since, due to a lucky loophole with his job, he's been able to be here ("home" with me) almost every weekend. I know, in this way, I'm more fortunate than most but what I can say is this: we turned less than 15 hours of time together into a full-fledged relationship with nothing more than Skype, texts, and phone calls within the first three months of seeing each other. Sure, I procrastinated from time-to-time to see his face on Skype and yes, I made up for it with all nighters and too little sleep, but I did what I could to make it work. Now, as I'm finishing up my masters and will begin my Ph.D this fall, we are looking forward to closing the distance for good. I applied to places where he could transfer for work and, luckily, I was accepted to a fantastic program in a city where he'll be working in just a month. While I'm relieved that we'll finally get to do menial, boring things together like complain about bills and who's hogging the blanket because that means we'll finally be together for good, I know that I owe our relationship to the distance that separated us a year and a half ago. That distance meant that our interactions were always engaged and interesting because we had no other choice. It meant that we spent more time sharing and responding than we did staring at computer screens or TVs when we were both done with work. It meant that any "in person" relationship we had would have been first built upon communication and trust. I know things seem hard, impossible even, when you imagine distance between you and the person you love. Trust me, I've been there. But I also know that if two people are open, honest, determined, and committed, they can make things happen. I truly believe that if you have the wherewithal to get graduate degree, you have the ability to make an LDR work--all it takes is two people willing to try. That's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

No idea why this post got down voted. I up voted because that's ridiculous. I'm getting married this winter and I'm in an MA program now and will be starting a Ph.D program four months before the wedding. I'm inviting two people I know from grad school plus my advisor because they're good friends of mine. For everyone else, they know I'm getting married and it's fine--I'm sure none of them expect an invitation so I don't feel bad not giving them one. I've learned to use the line "we're on a budget and having a small wedding" to get out of the awkward people-inviting-themselves weirdness--I have friends from high school that assume they're going to be invited and who'll be shocked when they aren't. It's no hard feelings, it's just all about money. If someone asks and you aren't inviting them, tell them something like "we've had to make a lot of sacrifices with our guest list due to money". At the very least, it will key them into the idea that they might not be invited. Also, thumbs up to the Emily Post reference. I read her stuff on Slate twice a week!

I'm not sure this is true. I've withdrawn from courses before for a variety of reasons (changing majors, too heavy workload, etc.). One or two W's on transcripts have not hurt me, and I've been in both an MA and accepted to a Ph.D for this fall. I would err on the side of not worrying about it unless the school has specifically said "tell us if anything changes with your course load". When I applied for my MA, I switched classes from French to Latin after I submitted my transcripts and didn't notify the place I was accepted because why would I? They see your final transcript when you begin your master's program, and I highly doubt one or two W's is going to change a school's mind.

Hey StarStuff. I'll let you know my findings--I'll be there this coming Thursday-Sunday in hopes of finding a place to live. I think we're going to end up closer to the Sandia foothills as the places seem bigger and I want a second bedroom for a home office. Plus, a pool would be nice as well as a gym facility. I'll definitely inform you of my impressions, though!

Congrats, all! I'm glad to finally join this party. I'll be attending the University of New Mexico to get my Ph.D this fall. I thought I'd feel more relieved, but now I'm overwhelmed by the thesis I've ignored for a month. Oops.

You guys, Boulder updated admissions results! April fools.

Former OSU student here, I can totally vouch for the reliability of COTA, especially the 2. Back in 2010, I took the 2 almost everyday from campus to my internship (about two or three miles from German Village) and the trip never took more than 20 minutes and I never waited more than five or ten minutes for each bus. Just put on your headphones or read a book, ignore the smells, and you'll be to campus/home in no time. Also, to the person who said it could take a while to get from a bus stop to whatever building you're going to be in--exactly right. There are about three stops that scratch the surface of campus (all along High, one every three blocks or so), but if you're going to be back toward West campus (i.e.: near the stadium), it's probably another twelve or so minute walk. Just something to keep in mind.

Nobody is going to "blacklist" you in your field (as if an MA student has enough clout to even be affected by that--no offense, OP). Most of the time, unfunded students don't have to commit by the April 15th deadline as the deadline deals with funded students. I think you should shed some light on the correspondence you did have so we GradCafians (ugh) can best advise you--what exactly did you tell the school that accepted you?

Congrats, OSU people! OSU is my alma mater and near and dear to my heart as I grew up about 20 minutes away from campus. If you have questions, let me know!

Also, to CanIHave: being neurotic, I called the enrollment/admissions office which showed me as officially accepted as of Thursday and the letter in the mail (I got the department acceptance on Tuesday). Looks like I'm good to go! Thanks for empathizing, though!

I did a funded MA, which I highly recommend. When I applied to MAs in 2012, I applied to eight of them and they all were funded positions. I highly, highly recommend attending a funded program as it will save you tons later, especially if you go on to a Ph.D. I would be happy to send you the list of schools I applied to if you're considering going through the MA process again. (Also, good luck with Case! I'm an Ohio native and Case is a fantastic school in a really neat area. Cleveland is the best, go Tribe!) I think the idea of medieval narratives being reimagined is really popular right now--I know there are people doing it at Oregon and New Mexico, especially. I do think a two year MA gives you time to think about those things, though, which is necessary. I thought I was sure I knew what I wanted to do when I finished my BA and started my MA, but it was a joke. Your MA helps you figure out your interests, and that's the most important part of attending. You might think you know what you want to do, but until you really get into the MA setting and get a feel for what's happening in your field, it's all a wash. That's just my opinion, though I will say I have had a successful Ph.D application season and am going to an awesome medieval Ph.D program.

You're greatly underestimating Arthur Weasley, Sheath. Do you not think that someone so interested in Muggle artifacts would not at least explain how to use a phone? Even Ron gave the thing a whirl before third year and it wasn't too terrible.

Also, has anyone turning down offers in order to attend another school felt really nervous about doing so? I'm about to turn down an offer and I can't get over the "what if's" I have stuck in my mind. What if all the sudden the other school is like "jk lol we dont want u"? I don't think it's realistic, but in my mind I'm terrified that something will fall through. I'm still waiting for the letter of acceptance from the graduate college, and I think that's part of it. My POI told me it would be a few weeks as I was offered a spot from the waitlist. Should I wake to decline admission at the other school until I have the graduate college admissions letter, or is the department enough?

As a medievalist, I agree with HJ. It seems to me that opportunities for medievalists like are slightly below average, but I also know that the academic medieval community is thriving right now, and even that I feel is an understatement. As I'm just about to commit to an English Ph.D program with an exceptional medieval department (and full Ph.D track focused on interdisciplinary medieval studies), I feel as though it's all about what you make of it. Whatever you do, give it 100% of your focus, whether it be medieval or contemporary. Also, as I'm about to come out of a two year MA program, I can't emphasize how much a two year program can help you. I turned down a one year program in the UK at a good school to come to a two year at a school that's considered mediocre; originally, I regretted this but now I know it was essential to my personal academic career. I know people should do what works for them, but from my experience a two year MA gives you a year to learn more about the academe, theory, and figure out what it is you want to do (medieval, contemporary, what theories you want to "specialize" in, etc.) and a year to really focus those things into a thesis. It also means the people writing letters for you to Ph.D programs have known you for a year and a half and that you're applying to Ph.D programs with a year and a half of study under your belt. You also will know more about what you want to do because you're likely actively writing or planning your thesis at that point, which can be helpful in honing in on your future goals. Some of my statement of purpose was borrowed from my thesis abstract and some pre-writing.

Hi all! I will be starting a Ph.D program in English at New Mexico this coming fall. Any other future lobos? (Ugh, I made myself sick writing that. Go Bucks!)

For those waiting for funding, I'll likely be turning down an offer on Monday. It was a difficult decision because I've heard nothing but good things and have had great communication with faculty. I hope this helps someone!

StarStuff, I'm feeling the solidarity. I want to commute via bike to and from school, but I also have the option of having my fiancé drop me off (his office will be less than a football field away from campus). I'm not sure if maybe these aren't bike riding people, or the situation is that bad. Hmm... The bus situation looks good. I don't mind a bus ride (I hadn't even thought of ZipCars). I'll likely end up bringing my car, but she's getting old and it's a long drive from Ohio to New Mexico. We're looking in the "northeast quadrant" area as well as Nob Hill. Do you know of any housing around there?

Oy, I can't imagine living in California--too expensive for me. Thanks for the advice, though. I went to undergrad in a school that's in one of the top 10 most "dangerous" cities (and frequently visit Detroit, the most dangerous city in the country, arguably), so I'm pretty familiar with the whole "street smarts" thing. I don't plan on riding my bike at night and I don't really mind public transit (after living in London near a rough area, I'm pretty practiced). I do appreciate the head's up, though. I will, more likely than not, have a car, but I would like the option of living somewhere that I could get to another way in case of emergency.

Hi, Geo. I told my apartment that I would be visiting Albuquerque and that I would like to meet some people. They then offered to cover some expenses, so I guess my answer to your questions is that a little of both happened. My fiancé and I are going to see some apartments while we're in town, but these are ones that are 20 minutes or so from campus by bus (so maybe 10 minutes or less by car) as we're looking for a new-ish two bedroom.

Thank you all for your comments. The school that I'm considering canceling on was a school that I felt like I had decent odds of getting in--the new school that has accepted me I had been fairly certain would reject me. Both schools offer the same stipend and teaching load, but the new school has more scholars in my field and even a concentration in my area of interest. The department is much larger and scholars from the department have made significant contributions to my area of interest. It truly is a "dream school" in the sense that I thought that the only way I would be accepted was in a dream. Now that I'm in, however, I'm feeling an odd combination of excitement over being admitted and guilt for know that I won't attend the first place. Blah. I don't know. If I were making these visits in early/mid March, I wouldn't be this hung up. However, seeing as how I'm not visiting the first school until next week (the first week of April, whoa) and the other just days before the deadline (less to be "sold" on the department, more to look for apartments), I don't want to put anybody in a bad position. I'm afraid of I visit the first school that I'll be anxious the whole time and just want to leave and, really, as I know I want to go to this new school, I just want to tell them sorry and be done.

Hi, all. As many of you know, I was accepted to my *dream school* on Tuesday and have planned a visit for two weeks from now when my fiancé can tag along and we can check out apartments. I have my heart set on this school and know it's where I should go. I have scheduled a visit with the DGS of another program who accepted me back in early February. I would be visiting about a week from now and meeting with people from the department. This school has told me they are in the process of booking a hotel for me (that email came on Tuesday) and have been wonderful as far as answering questions and being welcoming. The problem is as follows: I was told today by my thesis advisor that in light of this new acceptance (and the fact that I'm going to accept it no matter what), I should cancel my visit with the first school who admitted me. She said that I shouldn't strain their resources or hold on to my offer any longer so that it could be made to someone without funding or on the waitlist. I feel conflicted because I feel rude canceling on this school, but in all honesty I would only be visiting to be polite. It's only about an hour drive from my current location so there isn't any air travel involved. What do you guys think? I appreciate your feedback.

Reviving this topic. I'm going to be visiting Albuquerque in two weeks to meet with people from UNM as well as hunt for apartments. Does anyone have recommendations for places to look? I don't mind a commute so long as it's bike-able or I can take public transit. My fiancé and I are looking for a two bedroom that's nice enough to stay for about five years--after jumping around a lot in undergrad and grad school, I'm looking to stay in the same place the whole time for my Ph.D.