LateAntique

What have you been doing? I need some ideas!

I have an entirely hypothetical question. On the super slim chance that you don't get in anywhere, what are you going to do? I was thinking about it: I have a double major in Religion and Classics from a state school. Who in the heck is going to hire me? I don't have enough Latin to teach it (I have 18 hours, one needs at least 24).

It's just Duke's style - one of my friends in the program told me that.

I had the exact same thought last night: what am I paying all this money for? If I pay a school up to 100 dollars on an application fee, I anticipate that buys me a little more than a folder in which they shove all my paperwork, not considering what is or isn't in there. Likewise, the website has said 'Application Complete' for months now - what would I have thought had next week come and gone and nobody had seen my application?

I decided to post this here instead of 'Transcripts' because it pertains to 'waiting it out'. I completed my Catholic University application back in November. Knowing that they have rolling admissions, I thought it was odd that I had not yet heard anything. So I emailed the admin asst. of the program (who is incredibly nice, by the way - it's refreshing) to ask if she knew of a timeline that we would start hearing back. She said that professors are reviewing the files this week and will meet next week to chat about who gets in. "Great!" I thought. I emailed the head cheese, someone with whom I've been in contact since last summer, to ask if he wanted me to send my updated transcript since I did really well last semester. He said something along the lines of: "I don't think your application has even come into the Dean's office yet (from admissions, that is)."




WHAT?!?!!


The website says my app is complete - but I call today to find out that they're missing a transcript (a transcript from another school I attended awhile ago and was told it was ultimately not important). I had that school send the transcript *twice* and it's still not there? Is this a conspiracy? I told her I'd mail my unofficial copy of this transcript out tomorrow if she would please just get my application into the professors' hands.


Long story short: Be diligent. Call these schools to make sure they've really got everything together. Had I not dropped a professor this note, next week would have gone by and I would never have known my application wasn't in their hands.

I am a bit of an old man at heart, but I hate the idea of those Kindle e-reader things. There's something wonderful about going to the library, sitting at your desk, and reading a book. I like being able to feel the book too. I hate reading on the computer and I can't imagine I'd like reading on one of those new-fangled e-readers. Now get off my lawn, Matlock's on and I've got some soup ready!

I have a hard time taking your comments about writing seriously when you write like this, even in an Internet forum.

If you're applying to any of the programs I have listed below, here's my advice:

1) Show up drunk. I don't mean have one or two at the bar before you show up - I mean start drinking at 7am so that you're absolutely blitzed when you get there. This will help with the nerves and make the faculty like you.

2) Who doesn't like t-shirt tuxedos? Wear one. And shorts - jean cut-offs if you have them. If not, Umbros are pretty fancy. You're dressing for success here and you want to let them know you're serious.

3) Mock the professor while they ask you a question. Repeat exactly what they're saying to you in a stupid voice while making crazy facial gestures. The faculty will eat this up. Who doesn't want a jokester in their program?

4) Disregard fuzzylogician's advice. If you don't know, it's time to turn the BS on. This will show them you're prepared for the wide world of academia. As long as it sounds convincing, you're home free. Another tactic is to answer all questions with "That's what she said."

5) Also concerning fuzzylogician's advice: if you don't understand their question (or even if you do), just answer one nobody asked. As long as you use the field's buzz words, you're bound to hit on the right answer somewhere. When the professor tries to stop your speech, don't take no for an answer. Hold up your finger or wave your hand dismissively, then sit back in your chair, gaze at the ceiling, and continue with your monologue.

6) Talk about the great offers you just got from the other schools on your list. Tell them a small fee might be able to retain you.



If you're applying elsewhere, I suggest disregarding my advice entirely.

If you're applying to any of the programs I have listed below, here's my advice:

1) Show up drunk. I don't mean have one or two at the bar before you show up - I mean start drinking at 7am so that you're absolutely blitzed when you get there. This will help with the nerves and make the faculty like you.

2) Who doesn't like t-shirt tuxedos? Wear one. And shorts - jean cut-offs if you have them. If not, Umbros are pretty fancy. You're dressing for success here and you want to let them know you're serious.

3) Mock the professor while they ask you a question. Repeat exactly what they're saying to you in a stupid voice while making crazy facial gestures. The faculty will eat this up. Who doesn't want a jokester in their program?

4) Disregard fuzzylogician's advice. If you don't know, it's time to turn the BS on. This will show them you're prepared for the wide world of academia. As long as it sounds convincing, you're home free. Another tactic is to answer all questions with "That's what she said."

5) Also concerning fuzzylogician's advice: if you don't understand their question (or even if you do), just answer one nobody asked. As long as you use the field's buzz words, you're bound to hit on the right answer somewhere. When the professor tries to stop your speech, don't take no for an answer. Hold up your finger or wave your hand dismissively, then sit back in your chair, gaze at the ceiling, and continue with your monologue.

6) Talk about the great offers you just got from the other schools on your list. Tell them a small fee might be able to retain you.



If you're applying elsewhere, I suggest disregarding my advice entirely.

By the way, Aeschylus is killing me.

Ask me after I have tenure.

Ask me after I have tenure.

Congrats to us! I come here because I'm Catholic and Catholics see redemptive value in suffering. I'm working off some years in purgatory by going through this process.

Zombie thread! Run away!

I got a couple of emails from comp lit programs from the GRE. Comp lit is where flunky Classicists go.

I got a couple of emails from comp lit programs from the GRE. Comp lit is where flunky Classicists go.

Honestly, I've encountered nothing but friendly people in this process. A professor at FSU gave me his cell number so we could chat about whatever. When I was having transcript issues with a school I attended, one program's administrative assistant asked me if I wanted her to "go to bat" for me and make some tough calls (to the school that was withholding my transcripts). Likewise, an admissions person at Duke helped me solve the transcript issue for Duke. With as many issues as I've had in my educational career, this experience has shown me a bunch of people who are genuinely caring.

I went through this exact same thing a few weeks ago. I decided a hasty submission would be a terrible idea. Once you submit it, it's out of your editorial control. I say go watch a movie or go run or something. Get your mind off of the essay and come back to it with fresh eyes.

This is for my Classics homies. I actually like Greek and Latin and so I like translating, but towards the end of the semester I'm getting a little tired of it. I realized that if I listen to Rage against the Machine (particularly Battle for Los Angeles), Homer becomes WAY more intense. It's fun.

My advice: end it with Fin.

Though there have been numerous studies that show that the GRE is a poor indicator of how one does in graduate school, it's a necessary evil. I hate it, don't get me wrong, but it serves a purpose. How does a program decide between two applicants who have identical GPA's, glowing recs, etc? The GRE, of course.

I've been told by numerous program to which I'm applying that they see the GRE as entirely trivial and that the only reason they require it is to get fellowships from the grad school itself. That almost makes it more stressful to me. I know that it's arbitrary in one sense and yet extremely important in another. Very silly.

I realize there aren't that many of us running around, but I expected the Classics majors to represent a little better here. Where is everyone applying? What are your research interests? Plug in other trivial biographical data here!