coyabean

I had something similar. One school's acceptance email seemed to beg me to reject the offer. They spent two lines on my acceptance and funding and three lines on how to turn down the offer. I obliged them. The other school never told me I was off the waitlist and I got a random phone call from a potential advisor asking me when I planned on notifying them of my decision. :/ The school I chose sent my letter via mail and postal the same day and checked in periodically. I'm of the opinion that if a school cannot do better when, theoretically, they are supposed to be courting you it does not bode well for when you are at their mercy and need assistance.

I came to add the same link. I just found it last night! Serendipity.

First, let me validate your concerns. It can be easy for Americans to underestimate the importance of family and their expectations in other cultures. I am American but I'm also a minority and in my culture there are family expectations about gender roles and religion that aren't as easy to dismiss as "c'est la vie!" They are my family and that matters in a fundamental way to how I identify. So, it matters. HOWEVER, I think higher education is generally residential for a reason: the distance can be a huge benefit as you trying to develop an identity that is not dependent upon what you know. So, embrace the anxiety -- it's standard with all change. Also, you cannot be the first person from your culture to experience this conundrum, right? Meet some other folks who have done what you hope to do. Read biographies, join a group or create your own ad hoc support group once you arrive at school. I imagine there will even be men in that group...they'll want to marry somebody one day, perhaps? You will have something pretty major in common! Good luck to you. You are not alone; find a support group; have faith in yourself; your family will love you regardless and I hear the stock for smart woman is increasing. ETA: There's a group for EVERYTHING! LOL http://www.iacphila.org/iachome.htm

I cannot cosign this comment enough. However, I regret you edited out the Cornel West reference. Anyway, I'm a huge fan of showing. If you have to tell me you're a good writer? You're not. Same with awards and positions and publications. As intextrovert stresses, it's about the story. If the award facilitated research that led to a deeper understanding of XYZ then it's relevant. If you just won an award I don't care. If you took a class with someone famous and a conversation in his office about such-and-such profoundly affected how you approach your research? That is fascinating! If you sat next to said famous person? Again, dumb luck.

Yeah, thanks for that. I currently attend school in Durham and I have never, ever seen a drug deal go down. And "sketchy" is so personal as to be meaningless. I think most people -- particularly at Duke (where I work, btw) -- consider my UG -- an HBCU -- to be that "sketchy" part of town. However, I have walked those streets during the all times of the day and night and I have never been a victim of a crime. Working class and brown is not sketchy, IMO. In fact, when the students at said HBCU want to score some "recreational greenery"? They go to UNC and Duke to get it. I would venture that there are more drug deals happening at Duke and UNC than the sketchiest parts of the city. Sure, there's crime but it's better than my hometown of Charlotte which is almost twice the size of Durham. It's an old city and the architecture and streets reflect that. And I am no city booster -- I prefer more walkable areas -- but I hate to see a city reduced to the most pejorative of terms. I catch live blues at Papa Mojos several times a month. I also catch live pop/rock/hip hop at the Broad Street Cafe (never a cover!). Watts Grocery has the best shrimp and grits I've ever eaten. They are committed to locally sourced food and the incredible shrimp -- prawns, really -- taste like they were caught 20 minutes before they hit my plate. You would be hard-pressed to find a more lively indie music scene in a city of comparable size. Little Brother lives here (for my underground hip hop heads)!! I volunteer in one of those impoverished "sketchy" n'hoods and I am sensible: I lock my car doors and walk with a buddy after dark. You wouldn't also do those things in Boston?! The city is what you make it. You won't be getting knocked over the head by rabid heroin users for your iPod and sneakers. Be sensible and in Durham you can actually have a life on your stipend. Not to mention it is hard to beat the opportunities that result from the synergy of having some of the country's best Universities in one area. I feel as if you pay for one education but get to partake of education from at least four. And our local economy has fared better than most. Good luck in your decision, but it doesn't sound as if there is a "wrong" choice. It's all about what kind of environment you want. ETA crime comparison: CRIME Durham Boston United States Violent Crime 7 7 3 Property Crime 7 7 3 via http://www.bestplaces.net/city/default.aspx?cat=CRIME&city=Boston_MA&ccity=Durham_NC&p=2507000&op=3719000 Not bad for a city less than half the size of the other.

Thank you for this! I, too, just accepted. Sooooooooooooo excited. I did an application for the grad apts at Briarcliff just as a backup but it's hard to justify that $1000+ rent! If it was ALL utilities -- electric, cable, wifi, water -- like I have now then I'd do it. I like fixed costs. But if I factor in electric and cable then my living expenses could easily top 1200 BEFORE food, gas and entertainment. That scares me. Sooooo, I'm thinking of going down in May to look for something cheaper? The online housing board on Emory's site doesn't have much listed for August yet but I don't want to be too late. I'd like to be close to campus the first year until I get used to things. After that I may branch out a bit.

UNL courted me hard and its super helpful newsletters always make me a bit sad that I did not apply. I've posted stuff from there before but today's is really a winner! Here is a link to a downloadable spreadsheet to help you track and compare offers; for those fortunate enough to be comparing. http://www.unl.edu/gradstudies/prospective/articles/201003.shtml

Charlotte is my home. I grew up in the University area. The school is not in the center of the city and public transportation is not great at connecting the University to the rest of the city. I strongly suggest a car. However, you can make it without one but it won't be convenient and you'll miss a lot of what the area can offer. Uptown (what we call the center city or downtown area) is really popping these days. You'll find lots of great food and entertainment there. The EpiCentre has become the center of the nightlife. It's a collection of bars, entertainment and restaurants. I suggest Whisky River on Saturday nights for laid back, hi energy kind of fun. For more grown-up fare try Therapy Cafe further down the way on Tryon Street. Actually you can start at Trade and Tryon -- the center of Uptown -- and fan your way out. Closer to the University you can find some bars and such on Harris Blvd that cater to the local students. Housing I'm not very familiar with on campus. I think I've heard there aren't many grad housing choices on campus. But you'll find tons of apartments around campus. Some are within walking distance like UNC Walkwhich is also all-inclusive. You'll want to search apartment guides for Harris/Hwy 29/Hwy 49. I wouldn't go past the 485 loop if you don't have a car. You should be able to get a very nice, close-in one bedroom for $650 if not less with leasing specials. Things to do: Catch the annual Greek Festival in August! Ahhhhh, I miss it. Speed Street is held uptown in summer; it's race country, don't fight it. The CIAA is a major basketball tourney held in March that brings lots to do Southpark Mall for high end (window) shopping The Plaza Midwood and the North Davidson or NoDa Arts District for more off beat, casual fun. If you like live music I highly recommend The Evening Muse Um...get the pad thai at Mama Fu's for me!

Has anyone here at Emory lived in the Briarcliff grad apts? I know they are crazy expensive but being furnished, within walking distance and easily acquired from a distance is making it look like my immediate choice. I figure it will buy me time to get familiar with the area, buy furniture again and get settled. However, I've found no one that lives or has lived there!!! That makes me nervous.

From Deep Carrborro to Duke I'd say about 20-25 min at that time of the morning. Learn how to use the Old Durham-Chapel Hill Road to bypass the hateful snarl that can be 15-501 and she should be fine. I'm less familiar with the Triangle Rock Club but Morrisville I know. That's longer -- easily 30-40 min depending on evening traffic. There may be some back roads that get you off 40 for that one, too, but I'm not as familiar. I tend to hit 40 for everything outside my comfort zone. But nothing in the area should typically take you more than 30 minutes. Good luck and welcome! Chapel Hill is truly one of my favorite places in the world. Not exactly. Franklin street is really two different atmospheres -- East Franklin and West Franklin. East Franklin is closer to the center of campus and, thus, more UG friendly. But once you cross over to West Franklin it's more community-oriented and grown-up. That's the end that is truly Carrboro versus Chapel Hill. But Franklin is basically it. However, it's a decent size strip with almost everything.

I saw the one off comment about Mendeley. I've been debating dl'ing it in preparation for fall. Any users? Feedback?

VERY interesting! I'm going to drop in. Someone chime in here on the twitter client to remind us on Sunday maybe?

You should probably consider a career as a writer. I found this charming.

HOLY. MOTHER. OF. (INSERT DEITY OF CHOICE)!!!!!! My jaw is on the ground. I mean...I cannot believe...Oh my. You are better than me. I have a touch'o'crazy and there is really no telling what I would have done in response to that. How is that even possible? Like, there has to be a threshold of achievement you can cross to compensate for something that old; or an expiration date? Holy crap. ETA: And I'm voting for Columbia. Everyone I have ever met from there is an ass.

You will get two schools of thought on this whole 'address weaknesses in SOP' thing. My issue was GPA. I had some profs aghast at the idea that I address it, but my main mentor -- the biggest name -- said that I absolutely must do so, even if only with a cursory acknowledgment of its existence. His position is that he's read many of these over the years and the SOP should clarify ANY concerns that the numbers, alone, present. He says if he still has questions after the SOP its easy to put it in the no pile because you are either 1) trying to hide something or 2) not qualified. In the end, I judged the value of the advice by the success of the prof. You may want to do the same with someone in your field. Now, how best to address that is the thing. I believe that everything can and should be positioned as an example of your growth, even a negative. If the GRE score is weak say something like, "and despite what my standardized verbal score may indicate my demonstrated experience with publishing research articles, crafting engaging conference presentations and serving as an editor for such and such are more indicative of my graduate ability." Or, something along those lines. Acknowledge it only to the extent that you completely mitigate it with documented proof of its failure to adequately reflect your ability. But for god's sake do NOT spend more than one paragraph on it or use negative language (it subconsciously communicates that this is a negative thing) or make excuses -- all thing I have seen in statements. Mention it briefly, address it with proof, use positive verbiage and move on. If you don't have that evidence then take an opportunity to get it if you have an opportunity. If not, the other thing I suggest is to have one -- or more -- of your letter writers address the issue. Their opinion of your ability will be better recieved than any reasons you give anyway. Think of your SOP as your only opportunity to tie all the pieces of data about you -- GPA, GRE, experience -- into a compelling narrative. Just like you can make a rogue in a novel lovable so, too, can you flip a negative into something more positive.

LOL To quote my four year old goddaughter, "boys, boys, boys."

It could be worse. You could have had THISguy. And I don't doubt that teachers deal with underachieving, lazy students and that it can undermine their attitude. However, I always love how it is always that the student is lazy and not that the teacher is boring, inept, combative, etc. Maybe I don't pay attention in your class, Ms. Cooper, because you have been having the same lecture for three months and it was irrelevant and convoluted when you first said it. Sorry, vent.

I just want to ditto and add that no one is ever really ready to be an adult, I think. Time has a way of forcing you to do adult things at some point, but I think the feeling of being an adult is hard for everyone to come by. I second the secured cerdit card advice. But first I suggest you read, read, read. The fact that you are even concerned about these things suggest that you are ready to learn about them. I really like www.creditboards.com. Start with the newbie primer: http://creditboards.com/forums/index.php?showforum=15.

ditto. I have a one W two semesters in a row for the same reasons. No mention of it as a concern from anyone. I think an F or NF or NW (what we do at my school for failing to attend class or completing the coursework) would be an issue. A W is just rearranging your schedule, really.

Good girl! And I mean 'girl' in the sisterhood kind of way, not any derogatory way. You're obviously an adult. And to be fair, you are right: at 22 years old one's priority probably should be the investment in their long-term well-being. Just remember that the same holds true for you. And I ditto JerryLandis with that laid back UChicago contradiction. LOL

Crap I could've saved some time had I read this first. My grandma and elders say the same thing.

This all day long. One of a few things happened here: 1. He's a punk for not telling you upfront about his plans to apply. 2. He isn't as sure of the long term potential as you are so he planned a life without you. 3. His "just in case" plan is his way of making sure just in case happens. 4. He knew you'd follow him regardless so there was never any real danger of him having to compromise what he wants.

You mean those new "word processing" systems?

Let's take this piece-by-piece. 1. I know that you don't even start having credit history until you've had a credit card for 6 months Um, that is not true. Revolving credit (credit cards) are just one type of credit line. It is very possible to have a credit history without a CC. Actually right now it could be considered a good thing that you don't have one. Available credit combined with a low income and savings can be interpreted as an invitation for you to overextend yourself; also a bad thing. 2. I know every time your credit score gets looked up it goes down because it counts as a "hit, Again, not exactly true. There is no penalty for viewing your own credit report. And even the minor hit it takes when being pulled by a potential creditor is probably not that big a deal if you're not having it done en masse. I suggest pulling your own and using it to shop around. Have a copy or at least your fico score (www.fico.com) to give potential rental agents an idea of where you stand. They should be able to give you an idea without pulling your report. And then when you find a flexible place it's just one hit for the final credit pull. 3. co-sign but I'm not sure if they'll do it Actually, that should do it just fine. All a place wants is someone they can harass if you skip out. A co-signor is common in university towns. 4. I don't think I could get them to come down and do it in person anyway. Again, common issue. That's why almost every renting agent will have a guarantor form that can be notarized and mailed back to them. It is important to remember, again, that you are NOT the first person to ever do this. All kinds of processes are in place for students just like you. Also, remember that renting agents need tenants about as badly as you need a place to stay. With access to guaranteed student loan money and a fellowship/stipend offer in hand from an area's likely number one employer you are actually a better risk than an employee with perhaps better credit right now. Relax.