anabeldm9

Do you already have someone lined up to replace your current advisor? If you do and it's someone who you've been meeting with regularly I can imagine saying something about how you've been having successful meeting with Prof X throughout the year and have now decided to make her your official advisor, you want to thank your current advisor for all her help and support this year, you really appreciate it. [something about how you plan to finish any current/ongoing projects with your advisor, if relevant.] If it's someone who you only *think* will be a good fit but you haven't met with her too many times, then possibly you say that your interests have shifted and are better aligned with Prof X, not your current advisor/lab, so you've decided to switch (+again, every version of this will have the "thank you for everything, much appreciated" part); if there is a way to frame a switch this way, it allows everyone to save face. This is actually true for the former situation as well. If you don't have someone new at all, I don't know that it makes sense to tell your advisor you don't want to work with her anymore, because you may end up without anyone else and then you'll be stuck. Your question is really too vague to give any specific advice. 

I attend UIC and my piece of advice for you is to live along the blue line. It is so incredibly easy to get ANYWHERE by living near the blue line. Living off the red line is also good, but will involve a transfer to the blue line. 
 
Logan Square, Lakeview, Bucktown, and Rogers Park seem to be the top neighborhoods where my fellow students and I live. Good luck!

Thank you all so much for your responses! So helpful and exactly what I needed to hear. And it just occurred to me- here I am getting my own validation from social media.
 
I love the proverb, Cheshire_Cat. I think it's probably a combination of this person has a specific audience in mind when they post, they are perhaps justifying their decision to be in grad school, and I just need to focus on my own stuff. 
 
Will work on this. Thanks everyone!

Thank you all so much for your responses! So helpful and exactly what I needed to hear. And it just occurred to me- here I am getting my own validation from social media.
 
I love the proverb, Cheshire_Cat. I think it's probably a combination of this person has a specific audience in mind when they post, they are perhaps justifying their decision to be in grad school, and I just need to focus on my own stuff. 
 
Will work on this. Thanks everyone!

Thank you all so much for your responses! So helpful and exactly what I needed to hear. And it just occurred to me- here I am getting my own validation from social media.
 
I love the proverb, Cheshire_Cat. I think it's probably a combination of this person has a specific audience in mind when they post, they are perhaps justifying their decision to be in grad school, and I just need to focus on my own stuff. 
 
Will work on this. Thanks everyone!

I generally see someone who brags about their grades on Facebook as insecure about their intelligence, or just not as smart as me and genuinely surprised that they are doing so well. (Why no, I don't have a problem with pride- I'd say I'm pretty good at it actually)
 
If someone isn't putting other people down for being less intelligent than them, then it really doesn't matter to me if someone toots their own horn all that much.  I get a laugh from it, for sure, but them making good grades does not diminish my intelligence.  I just don't have to tell everyone I'm smart.  (IRL and on FB I try to follow the proverb that says "Let someone else praise you and not your own lips")

But I usually also try to follow that old proverb that says "Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn."  I don't want to be the person who says "Quick! Hide your accomplishments! You may make everyone else feel bad!"  If someone is happy, I want to be happy with them, and if they are sad, then I want to empathize.  OTOH, constant complaining and constant bragging both get annoying, so if they are doing it too much, then that can be a problem.

Thank you. I am the same way with the unfollowing- it doesn't help much. 
 
Maybe one way to do what you suggest is to get to know them better and then it may be clear as to why they do this. 
 
Thanks for your response 1Q84.

A lot of people will tell you to "unfollow" that colleague on FB so that you're still friends but you won't see any of their updates. That never works for me, because I'm not one of those "out of sight, out of mind" folks. 
 
Either way, you can flip the script by thinking of this colleague as insecure in some way and thus boasts to impress a specific person (maybe family or friends who look down on his or her decision to pursue a Ph.D.?). It might help you empathize with your colleague more in some way. Of course, if that's not the case with your colleague's life, I'm not suggesting you should fabricate a story to make you feel better.... but I think often such unmitigated braggadocio behavior is due to that kind of insecurity. 

I just came across this thread tonight and agree with what everyone has been saying about staying low key about age and not assuming things about people of any age. I would extend that to race, ethnicity, ability, gender, etc. Try to be as open to people as possible- they will surprise you the more you get to know them.
 
And a caveat- don't constantly bring up how young you are. I have a colleague who is 22 and she brings up her age almost everyday. When a professor talks about some bill passed during the Nixon administration, she'll say "I wasn't even alive yet!" and she draws attention to it on other people's birthdays, too. It's constant and irritating and probably a sign that she is insecure about something. Which is silly because she's very smart and I don't think anyone would say she shouldn't be there. So there you go. Just be yourself.

I think mental health among graduate students is not spoken about enough; and I personally feel uncomfortable talking about with fellow students and professors. I wish there was more emphasis on mental health in programs.
 
I don't suffer from severe depression, but generalized anxiety. I noticed after my first semester an increased feeling of anxiety all around so this semester I have been taking advantage of the free counseling sessions at my school. Most schools offer at least several free sessions and then can help transition you into longer term therapy if needed. Counseling really helps me and I've done it at various times in my life.
 
Also, I discovered a female graduate student support group that I plan on joining at some point in the near future after I've gone through some individual sessions. I encourage people to check out what your school has to offer. Chances are it's pretty decent.

I think mental health among graduate students is not spoken about enough; and I personally feel uncomfortable talking about with fellow students and professors. I wish there was more emphasis on mental health in programs.
 
I don't suffer from severe depression, but generalized anxiety. I noticed after my first semester an increased feeling of anxiety all around so this semester I have been taking advantage of the free counseling sessions at my school. Most schools offer at least several free sessions and then can help transition you into longer term therapy if needed. Counseling really helps me and I've done it at various times in my life.
 
Also, I discovered a female graduate student support group that I plan on joining at some point in the near future after I've gone through some individual sessions. I encourage people to check out what your school has to offer. Chances are it's pretty decent.

And somehow I ended up with an A in the course. Just goes to show that bombing is not the end of the world and some professors are just outwardly unpleasant! 

And somehow I ended up with an A in the course. Just goes to show that bombing is not the end of the world and some professors are just outwardly unpleasant! 

And somehow I ended up with an A in the course. Just goes to show that bombing is not the end of the world and some professors are just outwardly unpleasant! 

And somehow I ended up with an A in the course. Just goes to show that bombing is not the end of the world and some professors are just outwardly unpleasant! 

Thank you all for the kind words and fresh perspectives. Maelia8 your comment made me laugh :-) Posting here and letting some time pass has helped the panic subside and now I feel ready for whatever the result is.