MidwesternAloha
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Posts posted by MidwesternAloha
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considering moving here for grad school at USF in the fall. I am from the midwest so the weather is one of the things drawing me to move here! Other than that, can anyone recommend specific neighborhood areas or apartments to look into renting? I know nothing about the area but am visiting hopefully within the next month and would like to drive by and check out some places. thanks!
Me too! I just accepted my offer at USF. My name is Lauren, too! We should be roommates! Jk... But seriously. I'm from Ohio and the weather is a huge deal for me, too!
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Hopkins.
Go on a new adventure.
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The shorter, the better, because professors get a ton of emails. Just don't send the same thing to each interviewer, because they talk.
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Your professor probably meant that more research opportunities may open up at the start of summer or some other point between now and the time your classes start.
- when and angel_kaye13
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Rejection from a PhD program offered by a medical school (no undergraduate population)
"I only applied here because my professor did his undergrad here. I didn't want to go to this crappy place anyway"
Uhhh
... Hope you didn't write that in you personal statement lol no wonder you got rejected
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The Admissions Dept is the only person/group with the authority to issue an acceptance to a program.
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Nothing would happen. You'd look like a jerk and burn a bridge in the process, but there's not actually a consequence.
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Are you currently working at a job that you would hate to give up to go back to school? Based on what you wrote so far, it seems that the only risk or issue in question is moving away from your husband for 3-5 years. What about giving it a try for a semester or two? If you can make it work, then complete the program. If you are unhappy and miserable, then apply to other programs next year and try again. It seems like you have little to lose by trying it out for a while and have much to gain if it works out.
That's a really good point. Honestly, it never dawned on me that if it's too much, I can reevaluate a year from now. I currently work outside my field of interest and have been for almost 3 years. I don't dislike my job but it's unrelated to my career goals. I like cancer biology, but I'm currently working with plant biology, so it's gratifying to have been accepted into a highly respected CB program based on my publications at my last job. I've spent the last 3 years following around my husband while we achieved something stable so I could finally apply to grad school. The local program that is still considering/pursuing me is for a PhD program in plant biology. So, I'd be sacrificing what I really want to do. More and more, it looks like I have already made my decision, I'm just nervous. Thank you again. You all have really helped me sort myself out.
- PeterPanComplex and knp
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I wish he had a chance of being transferred, but his job is very stable. I is only offered at this specific base. He has and will be here for his entire career. But I appreciate the support - I need to go to the program I like, no the program I compromise. I know I would grow resentful. My husband even mentioned last night that there would be nothing he could do to ease that if I made a decision that sacrificed what I really wanted to do. Where there's a will, there's a way. At least I have 6 months to prepare for the distance again. I am grateful to all of you because I have no peers attending or pursuing grad school, so I really value all of this feedback.
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I haven't had my own computer in 4 years (I have a smartphone, and a computer at work) so I told myself if I got accepted into grad school, I'd buy a Lenovo Yoga laptop.
My husband came up with a better idea and we're buying nice bikes so we can go cycling together all summer and I commute around town when I move off to school.
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Wait. I'm confused. If you applied to this specific school, didn't you know it was 9 hours away? If you weren't serious about attending, why did you apply in the first place? Did someone else apply for you? If you were the one who applied, did you know at the time that your husband wouldn't be able to join you?
Many spouses (e.g. military wives) stay in the U.S. while their significant others (e.g. husbands) serve overseas in the military. It's not as if long-distance relationships aren't possible.
If you have a strong relationship with your husband, you both can Skype/Facetime/webchat, talk on the phone, visit during the holidays and summer/winter break. 5 years can go by fast.
Besides, "absence makes the heart grow fonder," right?
How does your husband feel about you pursuing this amazing opportunity? Is he supportive?
It's heart-breaking when so many times, women have to sacrifice their career and personal goals & dreams for others.
It's sweet you want to stay closer to your husband. But will you later resent your husband and hold it against him. Will you have deep regrets and be unhappy, miserable, and indignant at giving up what you wanted?
Food for thought...if things were reversed and you were the one who had a job in which you couldn't leave/move, and if your husband had an amazing opportunity to pursue an elite graduate program that is "fully funded + high stipend, all kinds of freebies, celebrity professors," but it meant him leaving....would you support him going or would you forbid/discourage/prevent him?
As you know, marriage is a partnership, and nobody from the internet should tell you what to do. If you haven't already, talk with your husband and your family & friends...but for sure, maybe listening to your husband will alleviate or confirm your doubts, fears, and hesitation.
Who knows, maybe he'll fully support you and encourage you to pursue your educational/career goals. Everyone is different. Some men may be traditional, selfish, close-minded, or lean toward old-school gender roles. And some men are like George Clooney, who respect strong, independent, self-sufficient, smart, and career-minded women.
Whatever you decide, congratulations on getting into a prestigious and competitive program. Who knows, maybe the other programs you applied to which are geographically closer to your husband will turn out to be adequate and good enough to achieve your goals & dreams. Good luck!
I appreciate this thought-provoking response. I see that it has 2 downvotes, but I'm not sure why. I didn't perceive it as critical, but raw- real. Since various people have asked these questions and I haven't been active on here lately, I will respond to these as best I can.
I applied to the school because at the time, it appeared my husband would have the opportunity to transfer there. We have since learned that he cannot.
He is in the military and I'm so tired of bouncing back and forth between a LDR and him being home. We had a full-blown LDR for 5 of the years we were dating. We have been living physically together + married for barely 2 years since then. I'm just not eager to do the distance thing by choice. It's easier when the Army "takes" us away. I struggle with making a conscious decision to go away.
He is immensely supportive of me attending this program. I like that somebody mentioned a distinction between a bad fit, cold feet and imposter syndrome. Upon reflection, I think I just have cold feet. The program is an excellent fit for my research and professional goals. Likewise, I would never want to get in the way of him reaching his dreams. We established that foundation before we were married. It is part of what attracted us to one another: he didn't want a stay-at-home housewife with a diamond diploma, and I wanted someone who encouraged me to be the best I can be (professionally, academically, whatever else).
Someone mentioned summer breaks: unfortunately, those don't exist in my field. Those are better served as opportunities to work full-time in the lab, without classes taking up your time. Writing years can be done from a distance, however. Good point! I didn't think of that.
The local program(s) I applied to are within commuting distance and within weekend-commuting distance, respectively. The closer of the two programs is not at all the type of research I dreamed of doing, but would provide better opportunities for my long term goals of being an academic investigator at a private college or university. It's biochemistry research but not cancer biology. I applied there because it is a high-ranking school and the closest physical entity where I could pursue a graduate education. I applied but was rejected from their cancer bio track and my application trickled down to a different department that is now recruiting me. The second program (3 hours away) is cancer biology related, but I am currently waitlisted post-interview there, so, not much control over the situation.
Going back to the military aspect, though, he's going to be gone 50% of the time I'm in school, anyway, so- might as well be somewhere I enjoy living, right? I have no familial support and would never choose to live in the state where we are currently. 9 hours away, though...Florida is nice
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I would suggest you don't send a thank you email since its over 3 days. At this point if you want to touch base, you should wait about another week since adcomms typically take 2-3 weeks to make their decisions.
Oh, they made their decision within 2 days. I'm Waitlisted. I guess just grasping for any reason to make my name show up on their radar because they beat me to the punch.
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(Sorry in advance to those who are having a rough time with things this application cycle, but...)
Getting accepted into several programs is obviously great, and having been accepted to all the programs I applied to is even better (pending), but this honestly feels like a low point for me. Knowing that the ball is now squarely back in my court is stressing me out more than waiting to hear back was! I enjoyed every single visit, and if I could accept every offer I would. I genuinely feel bad about having to pick just one. Also, to add to the stress, it seems hard to overstate how significant this choice it will actually be for my life.
What is wrong with my brain? Does this make sense to anyone but me? I guess a part of me didn't believe I'd get this far...
It definitely makes sense and you do not need to apologize for feeling the way you do. I, personally, struggle with making decisions, so I can relate. It's easier when the decision is made for you, since, from what you mentioned - it seems you'd be happy at any/most of the institutions. Take some time, step back from the situation, then when you come back and revisit the decision making process, it may be very clear to you. Trust your gut.
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"In the end, it doesn't even matter" (Virginia Tech, Engineering PhD)
".....this has been rough" (University of Marylad, Political Science, PhD)
"Seven years of college down the drain, might as well join the Peace Corps..." (Ohio State University, History PhD)
I feel for everyone-I'm still waiting to hear accepted/rejected....
Also-there must be a lot of internet traffic on the results page right now-mine is slowww to load. Anyone else experiencing this? A wave of anxiety ridden folks...
7 years of college? Holy cow
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"...the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences is unable to take favorable action on your application to the Department of History..."
... What.
Ugh. I hate those letters..my rejection letter stated that they "hoped I would pursue graduate education elsewhere." Gee, thanks.
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I just got waitlisted and don't have even a single acceptance, so I know how it feels to be left out during this application cycle.
I did not even know that people saw waitlists as a serious option for possible admission. I was under the impression that most offer refusals are filled by the ~ 40% extra offers universities send out to meet their "yield". From what I have gathered, waitlists are convenience cushions just in case all goes wrong.
That said, I see being waitlisted as a rejection; I would rather figure out a way to improve my chances for next year than hope for that needle in a haystack. I have never concerned myself with how long others take to deliberate their offers, since I never saw these offers as potentially belonging to me.
Am I totally wrong in seeing it that way?
No, that's basically the truth.
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I am married and my #1 priority is pursuing the program that will allow me to reach my dreams. Then again, it's something my husband and I discussed long ago. Ultimately, who are you living for? Could you live with the fact that you didn't choose the program you wanted most, years down the road? If your relationship is meant to be, it will find a way. There are ways to find time to see each other. Long distance relationships are a walk in the park nowadays, with Skype. Best of luck. Follow your heart.
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You can pm me if you want
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Interesting. I interviewed there two weeks ago. Their admissions is rolling. Do you know whom you will be speaking to?
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If you're waitlisted, it's because the applicant pool relative to you contained other individuals who (in the program's eyes) appear to be a better fit or more desirable, for whatever reason. A lot of people are hesitant to mention other interviews, let alone other offers, because rather than making the program think, "oh! We must act fast to secure this great student!" they might just be like, "Okay, then go there. We'll offer your spot to someone else." I would just hold tight, for fear of having the opposite outcome you desire.
- TXInstrument11, Amayan and MathCat
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Why doesn't an employee of the university have a spot?
Sometimes it's cheaper to utilize meters and free parking if you don't frequent the parts of campus that require a permit. Either that or the employee is just cheap. My university charges $1,000 a year OF YOUR TAXED SALARY for a spot in a lot a half mile away.
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Baby will be on a better sleep schedule a year from now, so there's one benefit of deferring.
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Gotcha! How strongly does that one weigh on your list of top choices? It's difficult no matter what! Having a SO complicates things lol.
University of South Florida
in Speech-Language Pathology Forum
Posted · Edited by MidwesternAloha
Oops I posted this in the wrong thread and I have no idea how to delete it.