MarineBluePsy

Hehehe I remember when those press button lights were first on infomercial and everyone thought they were sooooo stupid lol. Totally a great idea and probably inexpensive. And I was just in Target! Well now I have an excuse to go back. And in my late night panic I also found this http://www.glow.co.uk/boon-glo-nightlight.html

Night 5 in my new home and I totally just freaked myself out! This place is so much bigger than I'm used to and given the weird layout I just noticed how dark it is. Like I just walked down the hallway into the kitchen to get a snack and realized I can't see a thing! There's no lighting on the patio to shine in through the windows either and the only inside lighting are the super bright overhead lights that make me feel like I'm in a hospital. So here I am freaking out about all the hiding places in the back of my home and pondering dim lighting options that won't run up the electric bill or burn the place down. I don't even have a flashlight! Yep sucking at this adult thing right now lol.

My life was so much better in January. Since then I've nearly died, hemorrhaged a shit load of money, and landed myself in a program that is looking like a dud. Yep go me So then what did she renegotiate in the lease? Whatever it is you want to be sure it is something good that benefits both of you equally.

If I ask to switch labs now, without giving my current lab a chance to improve things it won't look good. My advisor basically asked me to give it time. Given my research interests there's only one other lab I could switch to, assuming they'd have me. If they won't then I'd have to completely change my research area or I'm screwed. The plan according to my advisor is not to worry about it and just be patient. I don't like that plan, but I'm thinking I'll be stuck with it for at least the first year. If significant changes haven't been made by next summer I can use that as leverage to switch labs. In the interim I might be able to help out in the other lab that fits my research interests, but we'll see.

I pondered this and even if things don't get better or actually get worse it won't help me to leave. I had so many barriers to acceptance as it was being nontraditional that I can't afford to add "dropped out of a reputable program" to the list and actually expect to get in anywhere next round. My life has also been such that I can't just go backwards and things will be fine. There is nothing to really go back to. I didn't burn any bridges or anything, I just did everything I could where I was and needed a major life change. Wanting to move my career forward and getting into a PhD program fit the bill, so if I quit I can't think of a single thing else I could do to accomplish that. I guess I just figured that even if I have little to nothing in common with my cohortmates and labmates, even if I don't care for this city, even if I don't make friends, even if I don't find a husband here, then at least I'll get what I needed from my program and it will have been worth it. I don't want to completely hate it here is what I mean. Then I can move on to the next thing and look back at this as that weird time that got me where I needed to be. @hippyscientist @Danger_Zone No idea what I'll end up doing, but it is nice to know I'm not crazy in thinking this sucks. I'm also the only one in my cohort having this issue. Everyone else is happily plugging away in their labs and buried in current and upcoming projects. I want things to get better, but I don't want to be unrealistic either.

So is it too late to switch programs? My advisor just informed me our lab isn't working on any new projects in the near future so not only is there nothing for me to do, there likely won't be anything for me to generate a poster from until the end of 2nd year. And the best part? Apparently my lab only submits to 2 major conferences a year and the deadlines for this year and next year passed before I was needed in the lab. This means that even if a research project became available or I develop one and get it funded soon its too late for me to get in on either of these conferences. I also don't have any experience getting something funded and was very clear about wanting learn here, but there's no projects to practice on. And sure if I get a project going I could find other conferences, but right now that's a whole lot of ifs and I don't really know what I'm doing anyway. So how exactly am I supposed to be boosting my CV and gaining experience? No idea. And none of this was disclosed prior to my coming here either and there is no way this wasn't a possibility months ago. If I don't get enough doctoral level research experience I'm literally going to have to change my career path. Sure there are lots of options with a Clinical Psych degree, but research is my primary interest. If it wasn't I wouldn't have bothered with any of this and would have just stuck with my Master's. Right now I'm really just not seeing the point of any of this and I already have too many things going on.

I would leave them hanging, but I'm kind of a bitch who's over it with group work and the lazy behavior it fosters. If I was really really pissy I might contact the professor and ask if the campus offers any time management workshops that I can suggest to said lazy group members. Wouldn't it be easier to ship your textbooks separately? Not sure what shipping options you have there, but sometimes educational materials are discounted.

Buses to campus rock. After a 5 min walk I hopped a bus and was on campus in 10 minutes.

Call the authorities. There are most likely noise ordinances in your area and with enough complaints they'll have to do something. I get that dogs bark, but that is ridiculous. Yeah I think the 7 sided room will be my office and the 5 sided room will be my bedroom. The living room has 4 sides, but one is a weird curve and another is weirdly short. Omg bugs! I too have been going on a bug murdering rampage, but thankfully nothing as serious as cockroaches. If I saw one of those I'd be calling an exterminator and checking into a hotel. And how much did I just run and check my bathroom for outlets? LOL! There are 2 thank god.

@rhombusbombus Nope not at Penn State. What I meant by awkward is none of the rooms are square, rectangle, or any other normal shape. For example, one room has 7 sides but only 2 of the sides are the same length. All of the other sides have varying lengths. On the upside there is a ridiculous amount of wall outlets, probably because the weird shape makes placing furniture and electronics challenging. And the windows are all near the ceiling which are at least 8 feet high lol. It gives a nice skylight effect in terms of lighting and likely deters burglars and perverts, but is weird if I just want fresh air lol. @hippyscientist Inspect your suitcase wheels regularly. I totally broke one of mine while transporting my stuff the other day.

So I have officially left the Airbnb and am in my new place. The ac totally broke, but the landlord had a repair guy here in an hour. Quite impressed. The layout is odd so it'll take some adjusting to figure out where to put things and what furnishings will be best, but overall I think I will be ok here. @Danger_Zone Congrats! Glad it worked out and just in time too. If you haven't already thought of this take photos of your new place to document what is and isn't there, any existing damage, and the overall condition of the place. Not crappy cell phone photos (unless of course you have a very nice phone), but actual camera photos (if you can't borrow one most major drugstores still sell disposables) that can be enlarged if necessary. Do this again when you move out, that way if your landlord tries to say you trashed the place you have proof otherwise.

@Neist I miss my job too. The routine, the hours it sucked up, and sometimes making a difference. I've always worked while attending school full time and I have this nagging feeling I'm not going to like not working.

I think I may have finally stumbled upon a different type of volunteering...food festivals. I love that sort of thing anyway, but volunteering would mean free admission and possibly some other perks. I am so bored without working or classes yet and I am making zero headway on any of my personal matters, so sitting in the house counting carpet fibers sounds like a really bad idea. @Pink Fuzzy Bunny you weren't in the car right?! That's the kind of freak accident that kills people. The electrician's company should be footing the bill for your repairs.

You could Skype with your cat! If nothing else the reaction will probably be funny enough to post one of those videos people insist on sharing via social media.

@Need Coffee in an IV Yikes sounds rough. Maybe it was just summer and not wanting to be cooped up? So many kids don't get to run around outside these days and they really need to.

Funny how simple it is to make a dog happy. If only people were that simple.

That's weird that the dual orders would lead to a cancellation. You'd think they'd just contact you both and ask if it's a multi-dwelling or a shared living situation, etc. The gas and electric are both already on, just in my landlords name since that's how they have it set up when a tenant cancels service. So my order was just putting it in my name and the online process actually captured all of that information which I thought was very efficient.

Wow just spent 30 minutes on the phone ordering internet service and explaining that no I do not want a tv package because I have no tv. I got rid of it before I moved and it isn't my first priority in terms of furnishings lol. I was able to set up gas and electric service online without talking to anyone, so much easier. Geez. It's actually going to feel like I moved once I get into my own place rather than feeling like a vacation.

I'm in a different field, but yes my lab is like this. So far I'm using the quiet to focus on actually getting my work done and searching for social outlets elsewhere. Are there other labs in your department that you can socialize with or perhaps do joint projects? I have that option, but I haven't taken advantage of it since I'm still trying to get into my own groove.

Sure Doyle's brains and Dean's brawn.....I could totally get into that hehehe.

I'm not much of a bar person either. Wine bars I don't mind, probably because the vibe is more mellow. If I go to any other bar its because there is an event going on that might help me meet single men.

I went scotch tasting this weekend and yes I did end up on my ass lol.

I'm not sure what part of the US you're going to, but it is also possible that private owners are saying that to decline same sex couples and rather than get flamed for that they're just saying "no unmarried couples." Either way I agree that it is discriminatory, but again I don't know that they can be forced to change because they aren't public housing. And yay! You successfully passed customs! You won't worry about anything, you'll just sleep for now =) Umm do you hear yourself?! NO! Just NO! You do not have to settle for lowered expectations and hurt feelings if that is not what you want. And it's ok to not be over it even though it's a new day. I do think you're right that this is not the right time to get engaged and you'll learn a lot about each other this semester.

Well why do you have to move to study that? There are plenty of Universities right here where you already are, why can't you just go to one of them? I get this question most often from people who didn't go to college or maybe just took a few classes. It's like they just can't fathom how every single school doesn't have a program for every field of study.

Now I'm no relationship expert and despite my choice of field I'm not training to be, but something is clearly wrong here. Wasn't it just last week you suspected he was about to propose and we were all chattering about rings and weddings? And now it's that things have been going downhill the last year? It sounds like he's gotten very comfortable with the way things are and perhaps he doesn't feel like anything needs to change because he thinks everything is great. I also know you can't make someone change if they don't want to. If this is him telling you "babe this is me take it or leave it" then trust him when he tells you who he is. If he recognizes you aren't happy, he wants to change that, and you've directly expressed your needs then you need to step back and see what he does. You'll either see improvements and your relationship will progress or things will stay the same or decline and it will be time for you to move on.