MarineBluePsy

Can't remember who suggested it, but I'm reading MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche and am now very concerned about my wellbeing. That research she incorporates on why we have friends, the health benefits, how we make friends, etc tells me that apparently I'm on the wrong track lol. I admire all the effort she puts forth to make friends, but it also makes me realize what a huge disadvantage I'm at. I'm amazed at people who have friends from childhood, I don't and can't say I regret that since I outgrew those people. She also has all these work friends, something else I lack since my time at work is spent with patients and I work independently. There's other staff, but we don't need to interact to do our work. And she put out a personals ad type thing seeking friends! I actually did something similar once, but all those chicks were needy or awful. And you know what else? I don't actually like most people. It's hard to explain, but most people just bug me. How do you make friends when nearly everyone is irritating in some way? Great I'm an antisocial nutcase and I'm about to move across the country with an increased risk for hermitude. Can I be a hermit if I like to go places even though most people at those places annoy me? Should I be concerned that movies like Her make me really annoyed that I don't have an operating system to befriend because obviously that would be the ideal companion? I don't even think there's a support group for this level of nuts.....

Exactly! Then of course I really grumbled like an old fart because my programs coverage is going to cost me more than what I have with my current employer. *sigh* There is just no winning.

Before committing to my program I read the entire health insurance brochure lol. Part of me was proud to be proactive, but another part of me just felt like an old fart hahaha.

Hehehe I think the picture helps a little. What's funny is I don't even like English muffins, they're sour and scratchy which is completely unappealing unless the alternative is starving. I imagined crumpets were something delicate and sweet and melt in your mouth like. From the descriptions it doesn't sound so and I probably wouldn't like them either lol.

So crumpets = English muffins? How have I gone my whole life not knowing this?

Many yoga studios offer potential/new members a week or so of discounted classes so be sure to ask about that before paying full price. Also your campus may offer yoga classes to students. So its not tea and crumpets anymore? I have no idea what a crumpet is, but it sounds fancy.

If you've already bought specialized equipment and required supplies, then I'd look at ergonomic equipment. With all the hours I spend at the computer I suddenly became way less angry when I upgraded to an ergonomic keyboard, mouse, and chair.

In addition to all of the great suggestions stated I would add taking a hard look at where you applied. There's no such thing as a safety school, but do apply to a mix of top and mid tier programs and make sure you're interests fit with at least 3 of the faculty. Consider how competitive Clinical Psych is and aim for 12-15 applications and be very open to locations that may not seem amazing. When I was crying to my advisors for the millionth time about not getting in anywhere they asked me "Do you want to go somewhere or do you want to keep applying?" That pushed me into looking at programs in places I felt lukewarm about and saving the funds to apply to more programs. My thought was I could always spend more time doing research and the time will fly lol.

Excellent topic and one I've pondered often. After undergrad I took 8 years off to explore several fields, live on my own, work several dead end jobs, and really figure out what I wanted to do. Then I went for a Master's degree while working full time in a dead end job and after graduating landed a job in my field. 2 years later I'm about to start a PhD and am both excited and annoyed by it lol. What am I most looking forward to about returning? Learning. I really enjoy the academic environment with classes, reading, trips to the library, seminars, etc. I have found that in the working world the desire to learn/learning on your own may be frowned upon or even considered threatening in some fields. I'm tired of this. What am I nervous about? Moving across the country alone with no support system. There's always unforeseen things that just can't be planned for and I won't have anyone to rely on should I for example need someone to help me out after emergency surgery. Sure I could call my family, but I can't actually count on them to drop everything to help me as they live on low or fixed incomes and traveling/missing work just isn't an option. What am I doing to make the transition easier? In terms of getting back into the groove of school I've continued to be active in research by volunteering in a lab. I also read quite a bit in general to prepare for all the reading assignments. I also plan to structure my program requirements as a job as much as possible. I did this in my Master's program and it was the smartest move I made. I went to campus early to study, use the library, meet with professors, and work on group projects. This was so much more productive than studying at home the way I did in undergrad because there were fewer distractions and I had to stay on task since the campus would eventually close. I also kept research articles or a textbook with me most of the time so I could take advantage of unexpected downtime standing in line, at work, etc. During the week I didn't care how much homework or reading was left, I went to bed when I was tired. I kept a detailed calendar of everything I needed to do in order to avoid procrastinating or sucking up my entire weekends with homework. If I had to study or do homework on the weekends I set a fixed amount of time, did whatever I could, and then forced myself out of the house to do something fun. In terms of everything outside of school I'm just trying to think of it as an exciting opportunity rather than dwell on the fact that I'll really be alone. I'm making a list of things to do so I don't end up sitting around at home going crazy. I tend to enjoy solitary tasks despite being extroverted so I'm trying to be mindful of not spending so much time alone. I will likely just add social activities to my calendar and hopefully will find friends that way.

Nerd-chic has totally been on my mind lately. I've finally settled on nerd jewelry since I found a bracelet that kind of looks like dna. Now I'm obsessed with finding one of the entire periodic table. No luck yet, but I'm still searching. Oh and beaker earrings. I'm not even sure where that idea came from, but now I'm obsessed with it. Keep in mind that when people report the utilities being high they're usually wasteful or they have kids. There are so many steps you can take to reduce your costs and if after doing all of that they're way too high then perhaps you have an insulation problem. I don't know what poutine is, but I've heard the cheese curds at Whole Foods are good. I haven't heard anything either and I've decided not to worry about it. I've done what was asked of me at this point and its on them to get things moving from here. I refuse to be stressed out over their slowness and I'm not going to be rushed at the last minute either. When they decide to get it together and loop me in then I'll let them know how that works on my end.

I've never heard of anyone waiting more than 2 weeks for their mattress to arrive regardless of how they ordered it. The company you choose will give you a ballpark and if you ask them they can explain their transit procedures to you get why it takes the time it does. As for sleeper sofas being expensive my unverified theory is because they're a terrible invention. See people think they'd be great because they save space by being 2 items in 1, but once they or a guest actually uses the bed part they'll be begging for the nearest chiropractor. Then said owner will realize what a horrible creation it is, want to return it, and the furniture company will have to deal with that hassle. By raising the price so much they might be hoping people skip them altogether or convince themselves that it really is amazingly comfortable to justify the absurd price they paid. And yes absolutely budget for wardrobe and fitness needs. You don't want to find yourself really needing something and unable to purchase it because of poor planning. Also I don't know what a weightlifting kit is, but if its the kind of equipment every gym has many gyms in the US offer free trials of 1-2 weeks. Depending on the city you go to you could just keep changing gyms and enjoy free workouts for several months or more. Your campus may also have a gym that is free for students or a partnership with a nearby gym for discounted memberships.

I hear ya! Let yourself sit in shock for a week or two, I did. Then when it wears off you can begin planning and be excited!

I can never get air mattresses to feel warm and they're overall too squishy. I just purged all my furniture so I'm camping on the floor until I move *sigh*

That probably would be the middle actually. Probably a pretty affordable place to visit to. Hmmm......

It is! And I was just thinking of how often this thread gets on weird discussions. I could totally see all of us hanging out in a cafe blabbering on about all this weirdness in person. Hmmmm with so many of us relocating we probably could do a meet in the middle sort of thing.

That is interesting. The worst memories I have of my mom's cooking are from the holidays. Shortly after moving out I refused to celebrate them altogether. Although this year will be strange and I hadn't really thought about that either. Right now I live close enough to my mom that if I wanted to go home and choke on her crappy cooking during the holidays I could. I don't, but I like knowing I could. Soon I'll be across the country. Hmmm.... And yes I buy ground turkey in tube form all the time, but it isn't any different than ground turkey in any other packaging other than being awkward in the freezer. Did you mean some sort of meat/other product hybrid? Unisex bathrooms actually make me quite angry. I do not want to go into the restroom and see a man at a urinal ever. Nor do I want to go in there, sit in one of the lounge chairs praying for my migraine to go away while guys are in there doing whatever it is I don't see when they're in the men's room. I very much enjoy going into the ladies room and hogging the entire counter with my makeup/face/hair products while I do a not at all quick change and gossip with the other ladies without the presence of men. I've also hid in plenty of ladies restrooms waiting for a friend to pick me up after not being able to get rid of some creepy dude. The women's restroom is not just for tinkling! We ladies just have more things to do and need our privacy. As for large events having long lines at the women's restrooms...in my experience staff just wait til the men's line clears and then we ladies get to take over that bathroom too. So really what should happen is the number of women's restrooms should triple.

I am convinced that several of the opportunities that came my way were given to me solely to fill a diversity quota. I'm not always ok with that either. I think you're on to something with the doom and gloom writers being people who didn't make it into academia right away or ever. The way I see it no one should be getting a graduate degree without having multiple options ideas of how it can be used. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get into academia, but not being willing to do something else or insisting on getting a degree that would be extremely difficult to use outside of academia is setting yourself up for potential failure. One thing I've learned from a number of professors is the importance of choosing a thesis/dissertation that can be realistically completed in a fixed time frame. If your advisor is trying to deter you from your topic then listen to them or you might find yourself at the 6 year mark and still not done. Grad school is for developing a foundation and getting out. Once you have your degree you can spend years on a passion project or something time consuming. I respond by playing them a song on the worlds smallest violin Wow this brings back horrible memories of my mom's cooking that I must have repressed lol. There are things that I have refused to eat since moving out on my own and likely won't go back to. Clearly those rough formative years damaged me because having to go back to that style of eating would make me feel like a failure and that is unacceptable. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I can't help it. Other cheap proteins are lentils, canned sardines, canned white albacore tuna (chunk light is even cheaper, but it's also nasty if you ask me lol), and ground turkey. You can also save tons and expand your options by getting your meat directly from a butcher, preferably one that offers bundles with a variety of stuff in them.

Or maybe there are more of them and they have chosen to "blend in" by just not saying anything. I do this all the time to avoid becoming the spokesperson for everyone from humble means. Sometimes the comments and questions are so ignorant I just can't stand it. Yes. I have a list of skills I expect to develop and milestones I wish to reach and I was very clear about them during my interview. I straight up said "I intend to accomplish x, y, and z and will need a, b, and c support from you to do so. Can you do that?" I'm not moving clear across the country and disrupting my entire personal life to find myself not where I want to be 4 years from now.

I bet your advisor can put you in contact with current students. This whole moving thing is freaking me out to, I keep reminding myself it'll be an adventure. It sounds exhausting. Are visas a requirement when you'll be in any country for awhile? I've only heard of them for those coming to the US.

*sniffle* I vacated my apartment. Now I'm just crashing with an acquaintance until its time to move. I miss that place already.

I'm worried about the anxiety too. I tend to read 90% of what's assigned plus a bunch of supplemental stuff to answer questions I developed from the assigned reading and my own non-academic personal reading. I also highly limit work on the weekends. Once in awhile is fine, but I have no interest in working all weekend long.

Congratulations! I've never heard of anything like this happening and am so glad it did.

This worries me quite a bit. The other day I realized I don't know how to not have a job. I've been working since I was teen and have often juggled more than one job on top of school. I keep looking at my GA hours and thinking.....that's it?!

^^^This and I'd add doesn't micromanage and trusts me to get my work done around whatever else it is I want to do. If I want to go on vacation/away for the weekend or take on an extra project I shouldn't have to ask. I should be able to plan how to accommodate the lab needs in my absence/changed availability (without disrupting others of course) and just be able to say "hey fyi this is what I'm doing."

I think this level of closeness may vary by professor, program, and field. It probably also depends on your own comfort level. I prefer to see my professors as employers. I show up, do my job, and go home. I don't bother them with my personal matters, don't care to hear about theirs, and I'd rather not socialize with them. Now once I've graduated things may be different, but probably not by much.