MarineBluePsy

@sjoh197 Oh no! I'm sorry. I was really hoping he'd pull it together in the end, but hopefully this fight is something that can be worked through.

@sjoh197 I totally hear you on not wanting to be the planner all the time. It's a special occasion and surely he knows you sitting and watching him play video games is not the way to spend it. That kind of behavior wouldn't fly for me at all. Have you tried putting on something tempting and blocking his view? If that doesn't work then he's really in the dog house. @Danger_Zone Do you mean some campus affiliated housing requires a couple to be married if they wish to live together? I guess they are allowed to make their own rules, but I'm not sure how they can truly enforce that. Seems like most couples would just lie and then what? Campus police barges in trying to catch you in the act? Or do you mean housing owned by private owners and it is their preference that a couple be married if living together. While unfair, with private property I don't know that they are held to the same standards as public housing. Are you set on an apartment? If zillow and trulia are popular where you are then you might find other options...townhouses, duplexes, etc.

Ummm unless getting you frustrated is meant to distract you from the upcoming proposal I'd say you have a right to be completely peeved.

I put down a deposit on my new home today! And thank goodness too because I can't take another teeny underweared man sighting lol. I am still sad about not having a tub though. @Danger_Zone You'll find something! If everyone assured you that you can find something around now then you can. Maybe two weeks ago I was pretty upset because everything I was finding was awful. Turns out I just didn't know where to look so some of the locals clued me in to the better sites to use and then I found something.

When I had no clue about cooking I found a crockpot to be a lifesaver and still use mine regularly now. Anyone can dump ingredients in it, close the lid, and hit start.

I went through a few rounds of application seasons and did not completely rewrite my SOP each year. The section summing up my educational background, why I picked this field, and what I wanted to do in the future didn't change so I saw no reason to rewrite any of that. I maybe tweaked a line or two, but that was it. My relevant clinical and research experience was also recycled, I just updated these sections to include new experiences. The section about why I picked school x, why I wanted to work with mentor y, and what type of research I wanted to conduct were what changed each season so this part was rewritten completely. Whatever you decide when you consider how many applications each admissions committee reads each year I would say it is unlikely that they would remember yours enough to realize it is the exact same SOP. While it may not have been the reason you didn't gain acceptance, it wouldn't hurt to spend some time having it edited and polishing it up at the very least. A great document still has room to become an excellent document.

Something tells me he'd enjoy the prolonged staring. It's not like he rushed to move or anything, he just kept standing there. I finally dashed out for the bathroom though otherwise I was going to burst.

You guys! I just walked out of my room and bumped into one of the male guests in nothing but his underwear! And not even normal man underwear, but those way too small tight shorts brief things that leave nothing to the imagination. I seriously just did one of those awkward stare apology things and am now hiding in my room where I seriously have to pee. For heaven's sake he is married can't he wait until he gets home to his wife to walk around like that? My new home can't be ready fast enough because there is just way too much nakedness here for me.

I had some evening classes in my Master's program and I either brought food with me or bought a salad on campus. I was pretty lucky that the campus dining options were very affordable and featured a ton of fresh produce, mostly organic, so it was pretty easy to eat healthy regardless.

That sounds like its best in order to cut down on the complaints, while you search for a house or townhouse or something without so many attached neighbors. It is really hard to have pets in apartments, especially if they're larger or anxious. For all you know it wasn't just your dog disturbing your neighbors, but yours might have been the only one blamed. At least the roommate situation will help you save money because a place that will be easier to keep your dog might cost more. The bus definitely sounds like it'll be slightly more affordable, plus the built in exercise walking to and from stops is nice. Have you actually gotten on the bus to check out the route you need to take? I have been doing that since relocating...hopping on different buses that go to campus to see how safe I feel getting to and from the bus stop, the route taken to campus, etc. If you check it out before school is in full swing you can better decide how viable of an option it is for you. Does your campus have student carpools or a student communication system where you can ask about them? That could be something to consider in the winter months when it gets darker earlier or yes have your partner pick you up at the bus stop at night. Your safety is not something to gamble with. But as for the mace, knife, and taser make sure you actually are allowed to carry those things on campus. With all the craziness on college campuses these days many have a zero tolerance for weapons and you just want to be sure what you're carrying isn't considered a weapon by their standards.

So today was not a bad day. I think I found the perfect new home after a thorough search. With every rental I find there's always something I have to sacrifice and if this place works out it'll be having a tub. I love a good bath and certainly have my share of tub goodies, but this place literally has everything on my must have list except that. Safe location near enough to campus to take one bus or walk? Check. Off street parking? Check. Walking distance to neighborhood eateries, bars, and a drugstore? Check. Only one attached neighbor? Check. Washer/dryer hookups? Check. Gas stove? Check. Central heat/air? Check. Cable/internet ready? Check. Spacious? Check. Extremely affordable by myself? Check. Wants a long term tenant? Check. Non pervy landlord that will actually fix things? Check. I'm gonna miss having a tub. How come there isn't a place where I can go and rent a tub by the hour? I bet that's because for undergrads many parents are happy to cook meals, do some laundry, and maybe offer some money, yet grad students will likely get eye rolls. Yikes! Hopefully you find a solution for your dog otherwise your neighbors will push the issue. You don't think they scratched your car do you?

My mom hasn't even noticed I've left lmao!

And omg the couples use the bathroom together. As in they go in and an hour or so later emerge. I'm entirely too grossed out to ponder the codependency of that.

I agree you didn't do anything wrong and you are free to do what you need to in order to move your career forward. You do not have to go out of your way to tell your advisor about this meeting, but don't blatantly lie about it or try to hide it either. At some point in the future if you and your advisor happen to be talking about reaching out to POIs or the program this professor is from then that would be a natural time to mention that you happened to meet them at a conference and then after to talk shop.

Good grief men are gross. There are even more guests here and they're all couples. I'm drowning in couples and there are underwear clad men and shirtless men everywhere. I never thought I'd be sick of the sight of not properly clothed men but oh how I am.

Overall I'll get along fine with my remaining labmates (these aren't my cohortmates, who I also don't jive with) in terms of getting work done, but we're just very different people socially. Some are doing the family thing, another is kind of a band geek which might explain why they're behind schedule, and the rest just have way too much anxiety for my tastes. And on top of it all I do have to go to physical therapy to deal with post car accident pain and guess how great University health insurance is? Not at all. Waiting til the lawyers settle everything isn't an option either.

And today I learned someone in my lab dropped out of the program. I don't mean took a temporary leave of absence, but actually quit and will not be getting their PhD. I think they at least finished the Master's enroute and I don't know the circumstances behind the decision, but wow. To make matters worse they were the only person in the lab I really jived with so now I'm left with the others who are nice enough, but that's kind of it. I'm really starting to wonder how I ended up here.

Your man is right, a ring is a must. An absolute must! I see no reason why you can't have moissanite with aquamarine, it'll look very oceany. I think omitting a lot of the traditional stuff....church, vows, etc makes sense if it isn't really representative of the 2 of you. It's your special day and it should be memorable not stressful or exhausting. I barely remember what women did before Pinterest showed you all sorts of options for weddings and any other type of event.

WHAT?!!? But they're so classic and elegant. Are you going with a different type of gemstone instead? Any thoughts on cut? I never tire of square or emerald cuts, but I've seen some lovely princesses and ovals. And what about the wedding band? Are you going to match or complement? This is so much more interesting then my housemates in their underwear.

Oh really?! How exciting! Why do you think this? I mean besides the fact that you 2 have been together awhile and all. You'll say yes right?? Ooooh you should go get your nails done now so they look great in your ring porn. Actually you should probably just go for the works.....new outfit, hair done, nails, new shoes.....that way you 2 can take pics immediately after and you'll just happen to look amazing. Yes lol. They just look so ridiculously walking around, faces glued to their phones, and clueless about their surroundings. One of these days someone is going to fall in a manhole.

The funny thing is if I said something then I'd be that person lol. Instead I just retreat to my room or leave, which is precisely the level of discomfort that will motivate me to move on from this place. However, if I actually see someone naked here I will nut up!

Now I completely get being in your own home and doing whatever you want when company is not present. But all of the men here whether guest or the one who lives here seem to think its perfectly fine to just be in their underwear and wander about the common areas. They even go outside like that! The last time I lived with men I was a kid in my parents home and this sort of thing was not allowed. You could be on your deathbed and you were not allowed to leave your room unless fully clothed.

And now I remember why I don't like living with other people. At my Airbnb there's the couple that own the place, myself, and another couple who are also guests. The guest couple are seriously having a fight and they're pretty loud. What's funny (yes I realize I should not be laughing at their frustration) is that they're fighting in English which is not their native language. I always imagined that couples that spoke another language natively would naturally resort to fighting in that language. And it's not like they don't know I'm here. We were all just talking in one of the common areas. Super awkward. Also men walk around in their underwear regardless of who is around. That is so gross! They're called underwear because they go under something! I really should get back to my home search....

You will find this very helpful. I started this before my Master's and it did me a world of good. I've never claimed to know everything and frankly I don't want to ever reach the point of knowing everything. If that happened what would be the point of living?

Another thing to realize is that just because members of your cohort are being supported by their parents doesn't mean its affordable. Their parents may be living way beyond their means, maxing out credit cards, taking out loans, etc and their kid has no idea (or doesn't care). I've known plenty of students who thought the parental gravy train would never end and all of a sudden it did because their parents reached a point of no return. Those students are then in for a rude awakening as they realize they know nothing about money management and there is no way they can maintain the lifestyle they're used to with zero income while being a full time student.