MarineBluePsy
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Posts
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Posts posted by MarineBluePsy
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20 hours ago, SymmetryOfImperfection said:
What IS the difference between debate and arguing? I'm always respectful to my advisor but he says I argue about my interpretation too often. I thought I was just airing my interpretation and not being pushy.
It probably varies from person to person, but for me a debate is when all parties can respectfully hear differing views and agree to disagree. Arguing is when one or more parties becomes rude or disrespectful and refuses to accept that others are entitled to a different opinion whether they like it or not.
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10 hours ago, sjoh197 said:
Everything is expensive. (I say as I just had to spend $70 on a bra)
Aren't there better deals online?
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I'm hoping my PhD program is different, but things I found irritating in my Master's program were.....
Students that didn't know the difference between debating and arguing and then ignored subtle or blatant requests from the professor to just shut up.
Students whining about the volume of assignments or reading because of their personal life challenges or choices.
Students not knowing how to do basic things like properly use research databases, paper formatting, etc and then not understand that the research librarians are there to assist them with that, not professors during class time.
Not using spell check.
Being casual instead of professional in emails to students, professors, etc.
Eating something smelly, messy, or loud in class.
Rolling in late and then noisily taking a seat, pulling out a notebook, finding out what's being discussed, etc.
Being that slacker, procrastinator, or otherwise crappy student and then asking to borrow other peoples notes.
- fencergirl and Apogeee
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On 5/19/2016 at 1:23 PM, Neist said:
....but I really enjoyed The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks....
I just read this and loved it! I'm really irritated that Oprah is going to do the movie version and intends to play Henrietta. She really needs to sit her old ass down somewhere
On 5/19/2016 at 0:25 PM, hippyscientist said:@Cat_RobuttPrunes are dried plums?!?!?! How have I gone this long without knowing that?!
LOL! And you are aware that craisins are dried cranberries right? I had an old coworker try to explain to me that there must be a craisin tree they come from and I was like uhhhh or a marketing department realized kids had no clue what cranberries were and thought it might help to get them thinking along raisin lines.
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Have you confirmed your current credit union is not part of a national network? Mine is and I've already found a sister branch in the city I'm relocating to that I can go into and use just like my home branch.
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13 hours ago, Neist said:
Part of me wonders if they aren't going to take some creative liberties in the series. And I guess they could keep making shows if they simply push beyond the inevitable conclusion that we must expect to happen? They are already getting close to that point.
I've wondered this too. Norman is still young so they have a little time, but I don't get how he's going to become the Norman we know he becomes in this small town with its cast of weirdos. If he moves ok that makes sense, but then will none of these small town nuts show up there? And is Dylan really going to stay away? I don't like this new trend of writers writing shows they intend to end. I miss when everyone pretended shows would never end and they just seemed to go on forever.
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11 hours ago, Neist said:
I'm curious if they are going to end the entire series after another season. I mean, of course it had to happen, but....
But if they end Bates Motel how will I fill that hour of tv each week?! Plus I get so many fashion ideas from Norma's wardrobe, it's a darn shame the whole thing is custom made for her and can't be bought in stores.
11 hours ago, hippyscientist said:I haven't been watching either of those shows but I am rewatching Gossip Girl, and watching for the first time True Blood. I am loving both
Good idea! I came into Gossip Girl after a couple of seasons and never saw they early years that explained the long standing grudges and drama.
9 hours ago, Cat_Robutt said:@hippyscientist I just started watching Gilmore Girls for the first time about a month ago....am almost done with Season 1. It's like there was this whole side of American pop culture that I just get now!
Gilmore Girls is amazing! I'm rewatching it now since its what I call comfort tv, sorta like comfort food. I'm almost done with season 2 and hoping to finish rewatching all of it before the Netflix reboot starts. I still don't get all those pop culture references, but it's all part of the fun.
6 hours ago, Neist said:I've been going through boxes of old class materials and I'm going to attempt to scan it all during the next few weeks.
It looks like it's going to be thousands of sheets. I might just give up and only scan papers with hand-written critiques and old syllabi. I might just throw away my marked-up journal articles. Probably best to look at them with fresh eyes if I ever need to return to them.
Don't you have library interns or volunteers that can do that? There really is no point in having minions if you don't make them work.
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@hippyscientist Wouldn't it be ABT? All but thesis? Why not make it a thing, you're making progress!
And the moving procrastination with too much tv continues.....anyone else watching Bates Motel? I just can't believe that happened! I mean I knew it would happen, but I really hoped it would be like the very last episode of the show ever, not right now.
And Castle actually ended and what a disappointed end it was. I really hoped the show would just continue without Beckett, I was tired of her anyway. Castle and company could have moved to a new city, continued his PI business, and started a new book series.
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2 hours ago, jlt646 said:
What if I've forgotten how to write? Do I even still know how to read? What is math even? And, the big one...will I still have time for yoga and gardening and baking and all of the things that make me happy to be alive? The transition, and the not knowing what's coming next, are the things that freak me out the most. Reading this thread has helped a little.
No, you're just rusty.
Yes, you'll just learn to do it better.
Even math experts struggle to answer that lol.
Yes, yes, yes, and yes if you're willing to make adjustments to fit them in.
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2 hours ago, Neist said:
I completely understand, and I'm a little bit surprised you've never noticed that library workers tend to be a bit quirky. Not quirky in a bad way, but quirky, nonetheless.
Sometimes I feel that eccentrics that could never fit into normal academia become librarians.
And I mean that in the best possibly way.
Oh now I get why I've never noticed it. I have tons of conversations with librarians, but they're always about my research, what I'm reading, or movies I've seen. I guess I just don't see them outside of their ability to assist me, sort of like professors. They're people, but not really people lol.
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1 hour ago, Neist said:
Oh, I'm totally not likeable!
Not at least in ways that are routinely appreciated. I suffer from the oft-observed trait of library worker weirdness.
On the bright side, likeableness is probably just a matter of aesthetics, and aesthetics aren't universal. At the very least, you'll be in good company with others who might not fit into traditional molds.
Library worker weirdness? As much time as I spend in libraries you'd think I know what that was. In fact I think my family is still surprised I didn't go that route career wise, but for me its a sanctuary and I didn't want to tarnish it with nonsense like paychecks and benefits.
I get not fitting into traditional molds, I've always had diverse interests and tried to be open to new experiences. I just find when I meet other people like that they aren't good friend material. They either get on my last nerves, are flaky, or can't detach from their SO or kids.
1 hour ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:Well I hoped you at least liked the book! And being liked by everyone is overrated
. Don't get down on yourself! I haven't established a lot of friendships and I think that's true for a lot of people.
Hmmm I'd say I'm on the fence. On the one hand Bertsche's journey was interesting and more similar to my own than I realized, but on the other hand I couldn't overlook the glaring differences. She goes home to an SO which is a built in friend regardless of how much married people complain about being sick of each other and she had a crew of childhood friends to count on even if they were a few hours away.
Then of course I've been rewatching Gilmore Girls and just finished the episode where the Chilton Headmaster tells Rory its not good to be the loner reading a book at lunch (honestly what else is there to do at lunch?!), so she gets caught up with this "secret" sorority and almost gets suspended just for being social as she was instructed. Then of course even Rory has more of a social base then I do. Is it weird to make friends with tv characters? I feel like I'm really good at that.
20 minutes ago, hippyscientist said:So you haven't met the right people. It takes time, I'm pretty abrasive and will purposefully push people away, yet can be professional and amicable in a career setting. As such, I have a handful of good friends (they hate people, bitch far too much and definitely don't conform to societal normalcy) who are incredibly similar to me, but they're not easy friendships! To me, a friendship is worth keeping only if each party fully "gets" the other. So screw likeability. You can be pleasant upon first sight, but all my friendships have come about from random encounters leading to massive bitch sessions. Not exactly the definition of likeable! (N.B. I'm not a two-faced bitch, anything I say behind the back will be said to the face -> even less friends!)
Hehehe isn't it amazing how bitching can lead to bonding? In my experience its always been a temporary in the moment sort of thing, but I get it. I actually worked on this aspect of my personality quite a bit years ago because at the end of the day I decided it wasn't fun to have everyone run the other way. Now I have less bitchy moments and more of the I-can't-believe-this-bizarre-thing-is-happening moments that tend to happen surrounded by strangers.
And next up on my to read list? What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding by Kristin Newman because it seems that sooner rather than later I'll have to accept that I'll just have to travel alone or I'll completely miss the opportunity. From the reviews I read Newman's experiences weren't awful so we'll see.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one looking at post docs! I actually had to stop myself from creating a spreadsheet of my favorites and their application criteria lol. Seems like I should be devoting my spreadsheet energy to getting through my program first right?
In other news I finished MWF Seeking BFF because even though it freaked me out about halfway through I just can't leave a book unfinished. So here's what I realized....over the last 3 years I've used roughly 70% of the methods Bertsche used to meet new people and establish friendships and have come up empty. Maybe I'm not as likeable as I think I am lol. I dunno. I'd like this to be different in my new city, but I feel significantly less hopeful.
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I just figured out how to put a Google Drive folder on my desktop to make backing up my files easier. Now of course I just feel like deleting a bunch of stuff like a late spring cleaning lol.
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On 5/13/2016 at 9:53 AM, BooksCoffeeBeards said:
I've donated, sold, or handed off SO many items, as well as clothing, during this packing/moving process. It's actually been a big relief since I will have to move mostly major furniture items (a couch, two IKEA book shelves, dining table/chairs, kitchen side table, and 4-drawer dresser), clothing, books, and DVDs.
I thought I was going to be buried in stuff, but it turns out...not so much.
How is everyone else's packing/moving business going?
I dumped a bunch of stuff via Freecycle which turned out to be much better than Craigslist. Otherwise I'm not really doing much in terms of packing/moving other than looking at airbnb options.
On 5/13/2016 at 11:28 AM, Neist said:To my understanding, you can avoid a lot of the laws the smaller the house is (which wouldn't be a huge issue for me). It gets more tricky the bigger a house is.
At least when I did my research a few years back, they aren't technically houses, they are RVs (as far as registering them goes).
So if a tiny house is registered as an RV and is similar in size, then why not just get an RV? Or why not a mobile home? I don't get the purpose of creating a new thing when perfectly good options exist.
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On 5/4/2016 at 1:10 PM, Cat_Robutt said:
@MarineBluePsy awwww that's a bummer! Would the coverage be better under the Affordable Care Act, or is program coverage the end-all be-all?
The plans on the ACA aren't better than what I have with my current job largely because my out of pocket costs would be higher. So ACA versus my programs plan make them pretty similar in that respect.
On 5/13/2016 at 0:27 AM, Juvenile Drum said:I really needed to read this. I'm heading back to school after 8 years 5.5 of which was spent living in the Carribean, owning my own business and following my passion on the side. I moved back to the USA to pursue that passion full time and in the meantime I am buying a home, trying to conceive and hoping to work full time while studying part time. Treating graduate work like a job sounds like a great plan! Good luck on your move. Hopefully you will meet a lifelong friend and you won't be alone. Just gotta put yourself out there which is the annoying bit.
Sounds like you used your gap years really living and exploring your interests though. If going to school and trying to conceive are on your to do list you might want to consider school full time. That way you get more of it over with before you have to be up all night tending to a little one.
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5 hours ago, Neist said:
I'd even be leery of exclusively using external HDDs, unless you used them in a RAID, for redundancy's sake.
You might check to see if there's any programs out there that will periodically upload backups to cloud storage. I know there's services that provide this at a cost, but surely someone has developed something that will daily update the contents of a folder, right? That almost has to exist.
Oh no I meant it as an extra back up system. Right now I keep everything on google drive and a flash drive, but a third thing just seems like a good idea given how long a dissertation takes. Almost every company I've worked for has had a daily back system work automatically, but that kind of thing is expensive. I'm ok manually doing it every week since its not too time consuming.
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14 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:
Wow, I had never heard of Ally. But 1% APY? Wow!!
Call me old-fashioned but I don't know how I feel about having an entirely online bank though honestly...
I'm with you on this one and wouldn't do it for my primary account. I have set up an online only savings account at Barclays that so far I'm liking. My big challenge with savings is having easy access to those funds for impulse buys so it helps that there's a few days delay in transferring funds.
13 hours ago, Neist said:Anyone a little overwhelmed with getting their digital life organized before graduate school?
I've spent the last several hours organizing my email and cloud storage. Ugh. This is going to be rough.
Ugh don't remind me! I need to back up everything, delete old crap, and consolidate a few things. Then of course I need to get one of those external hard drives because I have read way too many horror stories about grad students that didn't back up and lost their entire dissertation.
@gingin6789 Glad to hear everything is going so well! Your research sounds quite interesting. I'm always keeping my eyes peeled for new research on women's reproductive health.
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On 5/10/2016 at 11:28 PM, hippyscientist said:
All this talk of moving. I'm excited to get into my apartment but the thought of moving all my stuff, with my dad, just, no. I'm kinda regretting asking him to move me in a funny way. If I was going on my own I could pretend that it was just another travelling adventure, instead I've got dad who will be questioning decisions that I make, remarking on how expensive (or not) things I buy are and be fairly emotional. This is the first time I've felt even slightly apprehensive about moving. I don't like it. Bring back the excited about everything feelings!
I'm having the opposite issue and am totally irritated over not having any help moving. I'm not traveling with furniture, but still. I've just grown fed up with having to do everything by myself.
On 5/10/2016 at 9:21 AM, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:I didn't feel excited to move before I did so... I was just sad to leave my old apartment as well as my friends/family/professors in Illinois. Getting in the car to leave was hard. I didn't get excited until I was about 12 hours into my 14-hour drive to New York. And if you were excited before, just wait until you touch down on the tarmac in the US!!
Yes leaving my old apartment was sad too! I'm crashing with an acquaintance until its time to move, but I'd lived in my apartment for like 5 years and it was the only place I'd fully unpacked in ever in my life. I'm hoping to recreate that by finding the perfect place and staying there for the duration of my PhD.
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19 hours ago, hippyscientist said:
Who the heck had the audacity to tell you that?! I'm livid!! If anyone gives you a hard time you can say "my friend hippyscientist is an only child, with a single mother and she's upping and leaving the country and not bringing her mother with her". Agh. That's horrible that anyone would even consider asking that. Way to rile me up this morning!
I know right?! Last I checked my mom is a grown woman perfectly capable of functioning on her own or not, her choice. I haven't even gotten into the thick of the move and I'm already bonkers. My program still hasn't provided any details so I reached out to my advisor today to inquire and she said info is on its way soon. So is that like end of the week soon, next week soon, or next month soon? Because I will not be rushed!
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And now for the latest installment of things that are getting on my nerves about this move....I was seriously asked if I was relocating my mother with me. Not because she's elderly. Not because she's ill. Not because she's fallen on hard times. But simply because I'm the oldest and I have responsibilities. I feel like I wouldn't be asked this if I were a man or not a minority. This is also part of the reason I've stalled on actually telling my mother anything. I just can't take the helpless whining and the guilt trip.
I still have all that friend search stuff swirling in my head and one of my acquaintances I'd hoped to upgrade to good friend (and she visits the area I'm relocating to!) just got herself a bf and blew off our plans. Geez women suck.
Thank heavens for retail therapy. I bought some new wall art from my favorite local artist and she even told me how to package and ship it cost effectively.
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15 hours ago, hippyscientist said:
You know what? Those methods may work for her. We're all different! We all make friends differently. For me, I have about 3-4 close friends, and even they are a struggle at times. I like being a hermit. It's not detrimental to my health - I get social interaction at work and through sport. But I need space. I don't like people either and the ones I like tend to fit in with my outlook, specific interests etc. I get diversity in interactions with others, but they're not friends.
Who cares? There's only an issue if YOU feel there's an issue. Screw what someone else says, even if they've done research on the topic, they haven't done research with you. So whatever. Do what works for you
(as long as it's not hurting anyone that is)
I think this is exactly why it bugs me. I don't like being a hermit and feel like I'm doing a ton to avoid that. I'm always going to new places and chatting up strangers, but sometimes I wonder how close I am to being that person that won't let the mailperson leave.
10 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:If there were a support group, I'd join the hell out of it, because I'm the exact same way. I don't HATE most people, I just find 99% of them annoying. It's the reason why I will be paying significantly more in living expenses just to live by myself, and why after 4 years at undergrad I barely have reached more than "casual acquaintance" status with anyone. And yes, I thought the same thing when watching Her.
Yeah I have plenty of acquaintances and I did try to convert some of them into friends by extending invitations once in awhile. They were always busy so I gave up.
10 hours ago, sjoh197 said:I managed to find someone else who doesn't like people, and now we sit and dislike people together.
This reminds me of that new show on hulu Difficult People. Hilarious!
10 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:I second what @sjoh197 - the only person I was ever able to stand for long periods of time was my boyfriend (now ex). I could spend hours with him without being all like "Can I go hoooome nooowwwww?!?!" You'll find that too one day (whether in an S/O or a friend). I especially think that in graduate school it will be more likely - at least I'm hoping! Plus, college girls are such a wild crazy bunch, and LOUD.
I have tended to be like that with SOs, but too much time together in a relationship (especially early on) isn't good. I also think its easier to be a couple and make couple friends.
10 hours ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:Totally claiming the suggestion
. I don't have many friends and I think thats common for a lot of people. I think it helps that emotional engagment wears me out so I don't get stressed out by my social life. I have 2 best friends from grade school, a couple from undergrad, and maybe future ones from grad school? I feel like paris from gilmore girls and larry david and i would be a perfect trio Paris from Gilmore Girls was hilarious! I was kinda hoping her being Bonnie on How To Get Away With Murder would have a hint of Paris, but not so far.
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Can't remember who suggested it, but I'm reading MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche and am now very concerned about my wellbeing. That research she incorporates on why we have friends, the health benefits, how we make friends, etc tells me that apparently I'm on the wrong track lol. I admire all the effort she puts forth to make friends, but it also makes me realize what a huge disadvantage I'm at. I'm amazed at people who have friends from childhood, I don't and can't say I regret that since I outgrew those people. She also has all these work friends, something else I lack since my time at work is spent with patients and I work independently. There's other staff, but we don't need to interact to do our work. And she put out a personals ad type thing seeking friends! I actually did something similar once, but all those chicks were needy or awful.
And you know what else? I don't actually like most people. It's hard to explain, but most people just bug me. How do you make friends when nearly everyone is irritating in some way? Great I'm an antisocial nutcase and I'm about to move across the country with an increased risk for hermitude. Can I be a hermit if I like to go places even though most people at those places annoy me? Should I be concerned that movies like Her make me really annoyed that I don't have an operating system to befriend because obviously that would be the ideal companion? I don't even think there's a support group for this level of nuts.....
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7 hours ago, Cat_Robutt said:
@MarineBluePsy I did the same thing!!! Insurance is really important! It's such a relief to know that if something DOES happen, you have options.
Exactly! Then of course I really grumbled like an old fart because my programs coverage is going to cost me more than what I have with my current employer. *sigh* There is just no winning.
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11 hours ago, Cat_Robutt said:
It is definitely an unknown @runjackrun and @MarineBluePsy....I've lived far removed from family and friends for the past two years, and it can be stressful during emergencies. As a result, I've had to do a lot of independent research and gather my own kind of support network for different kinds of weird things, from medical (like emergency wisdom teeth removal) to personal (depression). At your new program, seek out medical professionals sooner rather than later in case of that kind of emergency, and see if you can find counselors, psychologists, even clergy in case of a professional yet also personal difficulty. And making friends outside of your cohort can also be helpful, like a book club, hiking group, and/or another graduate group.
Before committing to my program I read the entire health insurance brochure lol. Part of me was proud to be proactive, but another part of me just felt like an old fart hahaha.
We've wined, we've waited, now it's time to celebrate 2016
in Officially Grads
Posted
In regards to chafing, I highly suggest coconut oil