Butterfly_effect

I don't see any problem with that. I'm starting my first year and doing my first rotation; I probably spent about 1/3 page talking about that, but I looped it into my new interests as pertaining to my proposal. 
Also, that you can get E/E * 3 and still get HM is testament to the crapshoot that we are applying to.

In response to Pink Fuzzy Bunny, I don't think most courses will transfer. At least in neuroscience, it's very rare for a grad school to accept coursework done at another institution. Maybe if you got a master's but even then it might not transfer. 
 
I'm also a bit confused about why you're leaving. The only real complaint I can glean from your statement is that your lab doesn't focus exactly on what you want to do and isn't quite as translational as you want. I'd just like to say that your lab doesn't have to do exactly what you want in order for you to study it (you mention that you could work on B even if most of the lab does A). As long as your PI is supportive of this, I see no reason why this is a detriment. Most grad students end up expanding the scope of the lab's research in some way (otherwise everyone would be doing the exact same thing). I also don't know what you want to do after grad school, but it probably won't be what you do for your dissertation. I wouldn't worry if the project doesn't fit the most narrow definition of your research interest. Personally, I think mentorship and fit in the lab is way more important than the actual research. Most people are more flexible than they realize in terms of what they're 'passionate' about, and indeed this often changes over time as you're exposed to different kinds of research. I guess I'm suggesting you ask yourself what your overall fit is with the program and what your chances are of finding a better fit somewhere else are? You've only been in the program a few months. Are you really sure what you want is to leave?

In response to Pink Fuzzy Bunny, I don't think most courses will transfer. At least in neuroscience, it's very rare for a grad school to accept coursework done at another institution. Maybe if you got a master's but even then it might not transfer. 
 
I'm also a bit confused about why you're leaving. The only real complaint I can glean from your statement is that your lab doesn't focus exactly on what you want to do and isn't quite as translational as you want. I'd just like to say that your lab doesn't have to do exactly what you want in order for you to study it (you mention that you could work on B even if most of the lab does A). As long as your PI is supportive of this, I see no reason why this is a detriment. Most grad students end up expanding the scope of the lab's research in some way (otherwise everyone would be doing the exact same thing). I also don't know what you want to do after grad school, but it probably won't be what you do for your dissertation. I wouldn't worry if the project doesn't fit the most narrow definition of your research interest. Personally, I think mentorship and fit in the lab is way more important than the actual research. Most people are more flexible than they realize in terms of what they're 'passionate' about, and indeed this often changes over time as you're exposed to different kinds of research. I guess I'm suggesting you ask yourself what your overall fit is with the program and what your chances are of finding a better fit somewhere else are? You've only been in the program a few months. Are you really sure what you want is to leave?

In response to Pink Fuzzy Bunny, I don't think most courses will transfer. At least in neuroscience, it's very rare for a grad school to accept coursework done at another institution. Maybe if you got a master's but even then it might not transfer. 
 
I'm also a bit confused about why you're leaving. The only real complaint I can glean from your statement is that your lab doesn't focus exactly on what you want to do and isn't quite as translational as you want. I'd just like to say that your lab doesn't have to do exactly what you want in order for you to study it (you mention that you could work on B even if most of the lab does A). As long as your PI is supportive of this, I see no reason why this is a detriment. Most grad students end up expanding the scope of the lab's research in some way (otherwise everyone would be doing the exact same thing). I also don't know what you want to do after grad school, but it probably won't be what you do for your dissertation. I wouldn't worry if the project doesn't fit the most narrow definition of your research interest. Personally, I think mentorship and fit in the lab is way more important than the actual research. Most people are more flexible than they realize in terms of what they're 'passionate' about, and indeed this often changes over time as you're exposed to different kinds of research. I guess I'm suggesting you ask yourself what your overall fit is with the program and what your chances are of finding a better fit somewhere else are? You've only been in the program a few months. Are you really sure what you want is to leave?

In response to Pink Fuzzy Bunny, I don't think most courses will transfer. At least in neuroscience, it's very rare for a grad school to accept coursework done at another institution. Maybe if you got a master's but even then it might not transfer. 
 
I'm also a bit confused about why you're leaving. The only real complaint I can glean from your statement is that your lab doesn't focus exactly on what you want to do and isn't quite as translational as you want. I'd just like to say that your lab doesn't have to do exactly what you want in order for you to study it (you mention that you could work on B even if most of the lab does A). As long as your PI is supportive of this, I see no reason why this is a detriment. Most grad students end up expanding the scope of the lab's research in some way (otherwise everyone would be doing the exact same thing). I also don't know what you want to do after grad school, but it probably won't be what you do for your dissertation. I wouldn't worry if the project doesn't fit the most narrow definition of your research interest. Personally, I think mentorship and fit in the lab is way more important than the actual research. Most people are more flexible than they realize in terms of what they're 'passionate' about, and indeed this often changes over time as you're exposed to different kinds of research. I guess I'm suggesting you ask yourself what your overall fit is with the program and what your chances are of finding a better fit somewhere else are? You've only been in the program a few months. Are you really sure what you want is to leave?

If I got an email like this from one of my students, I would probably not respond (I'm not sure how that would really improve things), but I would definitely think about what the student is trying to communicate. I think the request to not surf the web in class is legit, no matter if the tone of the email isn't as polite as possible. I don't think the student wrote you that email just to troll you. You can deal with the tone by not responding, but seriously, do think about whether other students could feel this way as well. As a grad student TA, you are supposed to be a role model for students. If students can look over your shoulder and see you not attending to class-related material, that says to them that you're 'checked out' and don't care. It doesn't matter that it was grant-related or work-related. It's not a part of your job in that space; it's an active detriment to it. 
IMO, they are probably using a fake account because they're afraid of retaliation, which doesn't delegitimize their message. There are a lot of TAs that might judge the student or treat them differently after offering this kind of feedback. 
So I guess I'm saying you should not talk to this student, or try to find them (they clearly don't want to be found), but do think about why they sent the message, and maybe talk to other TAs? Do they also sit in the front of the class and surf the web? What does the professor think about non-class-related laptop use?

This is not specific to neuroscience, but still hopefully helpful! Programming and data mining is becoming a highly sought after skill no matter what aspect of research you end up in. Being able to take huge data sets and find useful data is going to help you in the long run. I highly recommend taking some coding classes and if possible classes specific to data mining and organizing biological data like sequencing.
In addition, if you get the chance to play with CRISPR, do it. That's a question a lot of my friends that are applying for jobs are getting, right now. Everyone wants their new hires to be experienced in the hot, new, tool!

A couple of thoughts.
1. You are spending a lot of time prejudging your graduate cohort without even having gotten to know them yet. You are already assuming that nobody in your cohort with be able to identify with you, that you won't be able to form any close bonds with them because you have different emotional needs, that nobody else had a childhood experience like yours. You can't know that up front, so stop making assumptions about people and get to know some folks. You might be surprised, because
2. Your childhood experiences are not that unique and actually probably more common than you'd think amongst very smart people. I only had one boyfriend from high school to college and had a social awkward upbringing in which I made few friends. I didn't learn how to make friendships until grad school, either. Lots of graduate students are socially awkward and have struggled with mental illness and physical disability.
3. "I think that everyone's happiness in a relationship depends critically on who the other person is and how he/she feels. It's just the nature of relationships." - Nope. It does in part, but a lot of success and happiness in relationships depends on you as well, and the expectations and assumptions you bring to it. I've been in a long-term relationship for 15 years and married for 4.
4. You seem to believe that you need to find someone who is almost exactly like you in order for things to work out. That's not necessarily true. There may be lots of people who have been in a few relationships or even have been married before but realized they were trapped in relationships that didn't work for them and are starting over. There are lots of people who may have changed their personality or behaviors drastically and are figuring out who they are socially again. This goes back to #1, about not making assumptions about people before you get the chance to get to know them.
5. I have to say, this emphasis on childishness and youth is really putting me off. Forgive me, but it sounds a bit creepy, honestly. You're not a child; it is very possible to be curious and vibrant and energetic and bright without being childlike, and there's no such think as a childlike romantic relationship. I'm assuming that you are an adult; you may not be as emotionally mature as other people are, but you don't want a childlike relationship. Relatedly,
6. As an adult, the chances of you finding this:
Basically, I'm envisioning someone for whom the whole idea of having a guy like her whom she likes back as being kind of "mythical", because it's something she's never experienced. Like, the girls around her have had boyfriends, but she never thought she'd have one herself. When a guy (hopefully me) finally likes her whom she like back, it would be an almost otherworldly experience.
are pretty small. Adults are, on average, more subdued than teenagers because they have learned how to deal with their emotions better, through experience. That doesn't mean that the answer is to seek out younger people, for a variety of reasons. More importantly, I think you need to examine why it's so important to you that the other person in your relationship is having the same kind of reactions and feelings to the relationship. Think about this: Would it be enough to you if you were dating someone that was simply happy to be with you and had a great time with you every time you were together? Why is it important that she finds you "mythical" or "otherworldly" (which is bordering on fantasy-land kind of desires, here)? Because this


Is honestly not a particularly good answer. It's as if you don't want to be forced to deal with managing your emotional maturation as an adult...but you can't avoid that. You also cannot rely on your romantic partner to protect you from feeling awkward or out of place with adults. Going into a relationship with that kind of expectation is what I was referring to in #3 - that's the kind of thing that can ruin a relationship no matter how great your partner is, because you weigh it down with unrealistic expectations for what she can do with you. In order to go into a relationship with good chances of success, YOU have to already feel confident and ready and positive about yourself. If you are going in seeking validation for your awkwardness, you're starting off behind.
To that end, I agree with the above advice that you have to do well in other successful relationships before a romantic one, and the most important one is with yourself. You have to feel positive and amazing about yourself before you can go into a relationship expecting it to work out.
I recommend asking Captain Awkward for advice - or at least reading her archives. She would give you really excellent advice.


That IS fetishistic. It's also stereotypical. If you know that it is extreme stereotyping, stop doing it.

First of all, this whole dating undergrads goal you have is a disaster waiting to happen. I'm not saying you are going to intentionally try to have some sort of skewed power dynamic, but that's what you're describing. You have to be very careful about this (and I would say don't do it at all), because you are older, you are in a position of authority over undergraduates, and it's possible that your goals in this relationship would be very damaging to the trust and open communication you should have in a relationship.
 
As well, your assumption that someone who isn't familiar with the "male body" and has some kind of "otherworldly fascination" with all things new and sexual is wrong as well. Many guys I've spoken to have some form of insecurity or jealousy when it comes to sex. Some even go so far as to not date women that have had sex with other people, even after they themselves are not virgins (I guess this is what you're saying?). Now this is completely hypocritical, I hope you realize.
 
It's also not necessary that someone have no experience for them to be attracted to you, to have some kind of childlike wonder (a really creepy term to use in this discussion), or to feel some exciting crush with butterflies in your stomach and all that. I feel that about my boyfriend of 2.5 years, and it's nowhere near the first relationship I've had.
 
"Interestingly, quite a few girls that have been interested in me have been like 180 degrees from that, like having almost exaggeratedly grown-up-womanish features. Grad school for some weird and inexplicable reason seems to attract these sorts of women too--except for the Asians. I know this is extreme stereotyping but it's something I notice, especially when I compare them to the undergrads at the same university.
I also fear that the type I mentioned in the beginning--the ones who find the idea of having a boyfriend almost "mythical", are likely to be hideous and/or have really ugly personalities. In one way it kind of makes sense--why would I be the first guy to like a girl--though on the other hand my lack of dating has had to do with introversion and illness--two things that have nothing to do with my attractiveness per se. A female counterpart of me might have just been late to "get the memo" that people around her had started dating."
1. I can't believe people in grad school (who are generally older) look older than people in undergrad (who are generally younger). It's not extreme stereotyping (except the Asian part), it's just how aging changes your face.
2. This theory you have about finding relationships "mythical" and being "hideous and/or really ugly in their personality" is absolutely wrong. There are many people who are very attractive (in looks and personality, if this is the only requirement) who have not had relationships before. You don't know what experiences they have had, and again you're falling prey to this fallacy that you're so special and no one else has experienced this before. You touch on this point, but you don't seem to recognize that it's completely wrong. As well, people can be unattractive to YOU, while being attractive to others. You can also have a relationship, even if you are unattractive. Your constant talk about women's looks, their inexperience, and how special you want to be to them just reeks of unstable and insecure masculinity.
 
 
"I think I kind of had four things that I listed as important in a partner:
1) Someone who is new to relationships, like myself, and wants a more childlike and playful relationship
2) Someone who is introverted and intellectual, but not a rival/in the same field
3) Someone I find physically and emotionally (in terms of "raw" mannerisms and the like) attractive to me
4) Someone who fits, logistically and practically speaking, into my life."
1. For you two to be compatible, you need not have the same level of experience. If it's a good relationship, it's childlike and playful (if that's what the two people want). You mentioned not wanting to be so professional and serious in your relationship. Well I'm here to tell you that it's possible - relationships are not like going to an academic talk. They're fun, you can laugh and play and run around and go on the swings and act like kids and no one should judge you. Even if you're in a relationship with someone who has been in a relationship before. My most childlike and playful relationship is my current one, technically eight years after my first (middle-school type) relationship and four years after my more serious first relationship.
2. Your concern about the person being a rival shows me that you are still a bit confused about how relationships work. Or you're very insecure about competing with people. Either way, this needs to be dealt with before you get into any kind of relationship. If not, this will all be raising some serious red flags for the people you're dating. If it doesn't raise serious red flags for them, I would be surprised.
3. This is very important. However, you can not limit yourself, and don't think your level of attraction to the person when you first meet will be related to how attracted you are to them later on. Things really change as a relationship develops, and for me the best relationships where my attraction got stronger were never the ones in which I was most attracted to the person at the beginning. Because then you can only go down from there!
4. I agree with this. This is absolutely important as well. I strongly believe that most undergraduates would not meet this.
 
So generally, please, please don't start dating until you've dealt with these personal issues and these dangerous misconceptions about women, relationships, and compatibility. All I see coming out of this if you start dating without facing and eliminating these issues is a dangerously power imbalanced relationship where you unknowingly end up taking advantage of the other person, all the while trying to stay special/important to them. And that will not be good.

If I got an email like this from one of my students, I would probably not respond (I'm not sure how that would really improve things), but I would definitely think about what the student is trying to communicate. I think the request to not surf the web in class is legit, no matter if the tone of the email isn't as polite as possible. I don't think the student wrote you that email just to troll you. You can deal with the tone by not responding, but seriously, do think about whether other students could feel this way as well. As a grad student TA, you are supposed to be a role model for students. If students can look over your shoulder and see you not attending to class-related material, that says to them that you're 'checked out' and don't care. It doesn't matter that it was grant-related or work-related. It's not a part of your job in that space; it's an active detriment to it. 
IMO, they are probably using a fake account because they're afraid of retaliation, which doesn't delegitimize their message. There are a lot of TAs that might judge the student or treat them differently after offering this kind of feedback. 
So I guess I'm saying you should not talk to this student, or try to find them (they clearly don't want to be found), but do think about why they sent the message, and maybe talk to other TAs? Do they also sit in the front of the class and surf the web? What does the professor think about non-class-related laptop use?

If I got an email like this from one of my students, I would probably not respond (I'm not sure how that would really improve things), but I would definitely think about what the student is trying to communicate. I think the request to not surf the web in class is legit, no matter if the tone of the email isn't as polite as possible. I don't think the student wrote you that email just to troll you. You can deal with the tone by not responding, but seriously, do think about whether other students could feel this way as well. As a grad student TA, you are supposed to be a role model for students. If students can look over your shoulder and see you not attending to class-related material, that says to them that you're 'checked out' and don't care. It doesn't matter that it was grant-related or work-related. It's not a part of your job in that space; it's an active detriment to it. 
IMO, they are probably using a fake account because they're afraid of retaliation, which doesn't delegitimize their message. There are a lot of TAs that might judge the student or treat them differently after offering this kind of feedback. 
So I guess I'm saying you should not talk to this student, or try to find them (they clearly don't want to be found), but do think about why they sent the message, and maybe talk to other TAs? Do they also sit in the front of the class and surf the web? What does the professor think about non-class-related laptop use?

I think you need to reread what I actually wrote.
Throughout my post, which, in fact, came after a substantial period of reflection, consistently suggests what may have happened and what opportunities may have been missed. I also made the distinction between the activities the OP mentioned; the grant and the work related email as opposed to the fact checking. By referring to how a professor might react, you're missing a key point-- the OP is a graduate student, not a professor. The fact that you decided time and again to overlook such modifiers, qualifications, and distinctions is on you.
IRT dismissing an email because it is anonymous is, IMO, a reason but not an excuse for not taking a student's concerns seriously. In the Ivory Tower, a lot of attention is paid to disparities of power. Why is it okay to talk about such disparities in some instances but not others when we don't like the content? Might it be that the person who wrote the email was lashing out because he/she was too intimidated to have a quick face to face during office hours? 
IRT the "real world," if you want to go that route, that's your decision. I do know that a lot of non academic types don't think that the Ivory Tower is a part of the "real world." They are increasingly involved in where their kids go to college, and what they study. They believe that academics are indoctrinating their kids rather than teaching them. If you want to feed into that dynamic, that's your choice. Ultimately, there's more of them than there are academics, if the terms of debate are real versus not real, they're going to win and those making a living in the Ivory Tower in the social sciences and the humanities are going to lose.And if you're going to teach students about the "real world," one should note that customer service (which is sometimes telling people "no, you can't do things that way) and risk management are big slices of the pie.
In regards to the conversation, the invitation, if carefully worded, can go one of two ways. It can be phrased to call out the person in such a way that they're shamed into silence. Or it can be phrased in a way that the student would come to the OP's office hours and say, "yeah, that was me," and then some teaching/mentoring might follow. You never know when the most defiant undergraduate is actually a highly motivated student who is considering following the same path as the OP. If one were to go the route of "If the message isn't phrased just so, the message is going to be ignored," an opportunity to find out will be left on the table.
In regards to the not apologizing, that would be part of the lesson. In my experience, which includes managing Teamsters, being face to face with drunks who mistake me for a cop, things can go a lot better when one listens, even if one doesn't agree or if one doesn't apologize. To paraphrase William G. Bowen, listening to others carefully and responding thoughtfully is a sign of respect. For me, things go better when I keep this concept in mind. YMMV.
One last point. I think you should check your tone. I addressed the topic, the OP, and the other responses--including yours--from a place from respect. I would like to continue to do so. How about you?
 

Honestly, as a TA, I agree with you that the email sounds rude, but, as a student, I do not think it is problematic with regard to the content. I remember that many years ago when I was an undergraduate I wrote some similar stuff to one of my profs, and obviously this prof was upset by the uncourteous style of my email. He then taught me to write in the appropriate form (with salutation, closing, better tone, etc). Well, obviously I got better respondences from profs since then, because the style is more courteous and formal. But now I am in graduate school, and I actually witness some profs do not follow these conventionality of email courtesy. They write something like "hi.XXXXX" or simply "XXXXXX PERIOD" with no salutation, closing, etc. While I feel profs writing stuffs like these are rude, it is hard for me to justify to say the content they say via such a format is problematic.(Of course, I do have bad perception over profs writing stuffs in such a way, and feel like to steering clear of in the future when possible ). So, maybe the OP could respond, by simply citing that XXX behavior is not prohibited by the regulations of xxx university. 

Nah. The fact that the email was sent anonymously--and from a fake account, no less--means that it's not worth dignifying or thinking about. 
If we're going to teach our students anything about post-college life, we have to stress that integrity is key. If you can't make a complaint in person or under your real name, you can't expect an audience to respond to your problems. You can't expect people to drop everything to come and troubleshoot your issues when you refuse to air those issues under your real identity.  
The OP used their computer to fact check the lecture and check work-related email. That does not qualify as someone "putting your priorities ahead of your students'." I actually think it's telling that you immediately jumped to the conclusion that the OP is somehow abusing their power or shirking their duties as a TA. If laptops are permitted in the lecture, then the TA can certainly use them for this purpose. 
Moreover, TAs are not in the same position as their undergrads. They come in already knowing the material, for the most part, and they're there to grade papers and lead recitation sections. They answer to the professor, not to the students. The students are not the TA's boss. As long as the TA is fulfilling the duties that the program and professor specify, then they are doing what they're supposed to do. Students do not get to dictate how a TA should comport him or herself during lecture, just as they do not get to tell TAs what to wear or where to sit.  
And you have absolutely no cause to apply this "crisis" to anything that the OP has done. Nowhere in their original post did the OP reveal that they think interacting with undergrads is an "annoyance." In fact, the OP came to this forum to ask, in good faith, how they should proceed. Nothing in the original post should allow you to assume that they conduct themselves in a manner that's anything less than professional with their students. 
Moreover, your assumption--that this TA's interaction with students--is somehow deepening the gulf between undergrads and professors--is pretty unsubstantiated. You're implying that this undergrad--and perhaps others--will somehow be "lost" to the history profession because of the OP's laptop use. Well, I hate to break it to you, but anyone who sends an anonymous and petty email to their history TA about laptop use--perfectly harmless laptop use at that--is probably not enamoured of the history profession anyway. I'm guessing we didn't just lose another potential history major because of the OP's laptop. 
More significantly, I'd like to see some sources that substantiate your claim that academic history is "in crisis" as a discipline precisely because of poor teaching, poor relationships with undergraduates, and mistreatment of undergraduates by TAs. Because, as someone who also works in the humanities, I have to tell you that the humanities are in crisis for reasons that have very little to do with our teaching. Students aren't going to college to major in humanities anymore for economic reasons. Universities aren't admitting as many humanities students because they're trying to build STEM and business schools. Blaming professors and TAs for the crisis in the humanities seems like another way to diminish the work that we do, and a convenient passing-of-the-buck to the people who deserve it the least. 
Since the email was anonymous, I'm not sure how this would work. Should the OP reply to the anonymous email and ask them to come to office hours and unveil themselves? Or should they tell the entire class what happened and ask the anonymous emailer to please come forward? That seems like a lot of energy wasted on a student who couldn't be bothered to lodge a complaint under their own name. TAs have their own work to do. Devoting so much time and energy to a rather minor (and probably trollish) complaint is counterproductive. 
Again, I'm not sure what this conversation would accomplish. If the point isn't to apologize, then I'm not sure what purpose such a meeting would serve. Are we validating the undergrad's feelings? Are we sending them a message that you can go ahead and send a petty and anonymous email and get someone to rearrange their afternoon to deal with your minor complaint?
Honestly, I think most professors would be utterly mystified to get this kind of memo ... about a student who sent an anonymous email to a TA because the TA was fact-checking during a lecture. Uh, most of my professors/bosses would have asked me if I had too much time on my hands or if I was finished with my dissertation already. 
Moreover, TAs and professors aren't in "customer service." Our students are not customers, and we're not trying to manage risk. 

I also want to emphasize a couple of things about these two points that are related to @Bumblebea's response.
First, you mention twice, in both points, the partial accuracy of the student's comment/observation. However, whether or not the student's comment was accurate is not relevant to either of your points. That is, whether or not the email was out of line has no relevance on the accuracy of its contents. Whether or not the OP was performing their TA duties has nothing to do with whether or not the student is accurate. I think in academia, sometimes, people tend to value the content of the message over the way it is delivered. Delivery matters and being accurate/correct doesn't make up for the fact that someone was rude.
It is 100% inappropriate for a student to call out any TA like this. Period. I wrote my first response without knowing that the student's email was anonymous, but with this information, the only action I would recommend is to ignore the email and not give in. That is, I would not change my behaviour at all. Carry on as if it never happened. The most likely interpretation of the intent of this unsolicited anonymous "feedback" is to bully the TA and make them feel like they do not belong here. Unsolicited advice disguised as "feedback" is a type of micro-aggression and does not belong in our workplace.

I'm going to disagree respectfully with the other responses on two points.
First, there's nothing out of line in the student's email. He/she made an observation that was partially accurate and expressed a preference. The fact that the feedback was offered anonymously is not a big deal. (Disclosure: when I T.A.-ed, I offered anonymous feedback forms.)
Second, the student's observation was partially accurate. The grant and the email were relevant to your interests as a graduate student, they were irrelevant to your job as a teaching assistant. By focusing on other things, you may have missed opportunities to do your job more effectively. The lecturer may have gotten something wrong, or left the students scratching their heads in confusion, or nodded their heads in thoughtful silence, or have missed the point--all of these scenarios might have been opportunities for you to support your boss and, more importantly, your students.
IMO, the facts that the student isn't one of yours, that you were in policy, and that a professor also uses his laptop do not trump the fact that you put your priorities ahead of your students'. The fact that you can do so does not mean that you should. (Your point that you'd never do in your own class what you did in the lecture is telling. [Disclosure #2: I got my B.A. from where you are now and that level of nuance...yikes...that's a can of worms you don't need to be carrying in your backpack.])
Here's the thing. Academic history is a profession in crisis. Part of the crisis is due to the growing distance between professors and their students (undergraduate and graduate). Another part is due to the fact that graduate students often treat interaction with undergraduates as an annoyance rather than as an opportunity to build public confidence in the craft and its practitioners.
The following is worth exactly what you're paying to read it.
Were I in your situation, I would either position myself so that no one could see what I was doing on my laptop or I would restrict my laptop use to tasks directly related to the class. (FWIW, in lectures, I generally stood in a location where I could see the lecturer and most of my students while taking notes.) 
Depending upon my frame of mind, I'd either offer an invitation to the student to talk it over in person or I'd not acknowledge the email. 
In any conversation with the student, I would acknowledge but not apologize for my laptop use. I would make no promise whatsoever or say anything that could be misconstrued as one. I'd then write a memo of the conversation and email it to my boss. (Disclosure #3: I currently work in the private sector in an industry where it is all about customer service...and risk management.) I would then treat myself to something with caffeine, vent colorfully about the whole thing, and then get back to the stacks. Where I'd do more venting.*
Going forward, if you don't want to receive anonymous emails, distribute a sign up sheet on which students will put their school email addresses. Explain that you will only accept messages from accounts ending @yoursschool.edu and everything else is going into the trash. Say it's because of the latest disclosure about Yahoo! or the FBI raid. Before using this tactic, please make sure that it is permissible with your boss, your department, and in policy. If you can't make the transition this semester, see what you can do for next semester.
 
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*A true story. Early one semester, I received some blistering criticism on an anonymous response form. Livid, I spent some time trying to figure out who wrote it. I then went to my boss's office and vented. "The worst thing about it," I sputtered, "is that it's true." He laughed, I left ...and went back to trying to figure out who wrote it. I did. And I also made the adjustment the student suggested. Live and learn. Or something.
 
 

Thanks for the stories and perspectives everyone! From hearing your stories and talking with older grad students, I feel really positive about the future. People (myself included) will be awkward sometimes, misunderstandings will happen, and transitioning from one class to another isn't easy, but it's ultimately a positive thing.

For what it's worth, I find being completely upfront the best thing for me. I remember a conversation with a prof I TA with where she mentioned in passing that it was annoying that she needed to wait at home for the pool cleaners to come and that interfered with her golf outing with a friend. The story then goes that the golf was supposed to lead to some dressage show. I made some comment about loving horses and she asked how often I rode, and I said never, even though I used to volunteer with them just so I could be around them. When she asked why, I told her upfront I didn't have the money to ride. The prof looked at me quite puzzled and I had to explain that the money it cost to ride (equipment, clothes, riding lessons, etc) is equivalent to X number of meals I could eat in a week or month, or maybe part of my rent. She really had zero clue what her students make do with. 

I totally relate to the original post. I would also like to add that as a first generation college student, I met no one in my cohort or department that were first generation college students. In fact, many had parents that were quite successful (i.e. lawyers, doctors, researchers). Being as my parents never went to college, I didn't feel like I could freely express my problems or issues with my parents because they would not understand. In fact, my parents were not truly supportive of my research pursuits until now and even now I have to defend my future research goals and interests and whether they are worth it. They come from a background where higher education should lead directly to more money, which is not always the case in research. The support whether financial or social/emotional helps a lot. 

I hope you don't talk like that when you're out in public. 
 
You remind me of the pony-tailed guy in Good Will Hunting. 

What? Why would I feel bad?

Do you feel bad for people who smoke cigarettes and get cancer? Do you feel bad for people who are alcoholics and get liver failure? Do you feel bad for people who have no self control and eat? Do you feel bad for people too lazy to exercise atleast a few hours per week? 
 
Its their fault for getting fat. And don't kid me about healthy food being expensive. People just refuse to eat healthy food since it "tastes bad", not because they can't afford it. Things liked canned beans, chicken breast, large bags of frozen vegetables, etc. are really cheap if you buy in bulk. I am not being harsh - just realistic. If you feel bad for people who are fat because they are too lazy to change, might as well feel bad for people who are smoking and have health problems.

Dude that is like a small percentage of people.
The number of people who are fat because of them selves is much higher. Fat people can't blame anyone else - they need to take responsibility. When they become so big they can't fit in a seat or walk a couple miles, they need to re-evaluate their life. I dont even understand how people get so fat without feeling ashamed or looking at their health.
 
People like your wife makeup a small portion, and I bet her being fat can still be controlled. There is something called Thermodynamics. She won't be randomly becoming fat if she isn't eating anything.

I'll buy you a Dr. Phil shirt to sport with your fancy mangina.

Or you could uh... you know, try to lose weight? I don't know your situation at all and don't mean to be judgmental... but if you have to rest after every 20-30 paces you are definitely not getting the exercise you need and should be more concerned about becoming healthier than finding a campus that have seats with no armrests.
 
Edit: oh and to answer your original question...stay away from Colorado I guess. Lots of active health nuts here.