minnares

Minnares, that's very true. This is my second year to apply, actually (wah wah wah). I'm definitely not giving up on the long-term dream of getting a doctorate, but I think it is useful to realize when something isn't going to work out in the immediate future and plan accordingly.

For everyone getting rejections, apply again next year! I was a much better candidate this year than I was last year (although still not good enough, haha sob). My professors told me it was fairly common not to get in your first time around.

Oh yeah, and M, keep up the good fight. I wish you the best of luck in your perfect storm year. My roommate is almost fifty and she's getting her PhD this year. You're not alone!

Yeah, I just want to add I applied for ten programs. After my first acceptance, I immediately withdrew my bottom three applications before I heard decisions from them. Some of the programs I really liked even, I just knew I would never actually attend them. The graduate secretaries at all the schools were very nice and it was totally painless. It took two seconds to send them emails.

on behalf of all the people out there who are in Wait Listlandia: please please pretty please, if you know for sure you wont be accepting an offer, tell the school. being in limbo sucks


thank you. that is all.

Just a thought.

While we're sharing...
Here's one of my favorites on rejection:

I didn't apply, but today I traded e-mails with an old prof of mine who teaches there, and he said that the department wouldn't be making offers until close to March 1. I dunno if that's at all helpful, but I thought I'd share it, for what it's worth. Good luck, everyone.

Amen. Maybe that's up to all the wicked smart folks on these threads. We're the future of the profession (hopefully). It's my hope that we find a way to bridge the gap between academia and society, to bring the impactful nature of the work we do to a wider audience. There are some academics whose books are incredibly popular (Stephen Greenblatt comes to mind). I'd like to see more approachable work of this nature. Perhaps then the value of what we do will be more widely recognized. Here's hoping at least.

~ m

Thanks, hon. I don't know if acceptances come in thin envelopes. I assumed they came in fat envelopes filled with confetti and cash, and when you open them, a band plays the Hallelujah Chorus and zero-calorie chocolate falls from the sky. No?

Yes, I certainly don't mean to make blanket statements.

My friend reminded me that at this time last year he was sitting on a mound of implicit rejections and a few official ones. One of those implicits turned out to be an acceptance. Right now he's at his top choice school. I don't mean to give anyone false hopes, maybe just to avoid false despair.

Nighthob,

Everyone I met there was just really kind, not pretentious at all, gave willingly of their time, hours to sit and talk. It says so much about a school when even their "heavy hitter" professors will email you back promptly, regard you as a potential colleague, and spend time with you answering questions. Not to mention the campus is gorgeous, and as you said, fabulous research resources

~ m

...please, please know that it is not the end of the world even if that does happen.

I am the who everyone thought would get in the first time and didn't after being wait listed at two programs. I got a job in my field and reapplied 2 years later, and same deal - wait list but no acceptance. It was crushing. I was mortified that I'd had to ask my mentors for letters twice and still hadn't gotten in. My family was supportive but obviously shared my disappointment. It sucked, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for a few weeks after, but I picked myself up eventually and moved on.

I worked on publishing data. I was able to expand my skill set at my job, and pick up another mentor in the process. I applied again, this time to three times as many programs, of course spending three times as much money. I had to get special permission from one program to apply for a third time which made me feel like a big loser. I braced myself for not getting in anywhere and possibly changing careers.

Yesterday one of my programs emailed me. As I read the subject line my stomach dropped: my first rejection, here we go again.

And I was wrong. It was an acceptance with full funding from a school I'd visited and loved.

I got to do the jumping around screaming happy dance and got to hear how excited my parents were when I called to let them know. And I've gotten to re live the excitement every time I tell another co worker, friend, or family member *especially* the ones who know my history and how hard I've worked.

And the amount of satisfaction and relief I've felt in the past 36 hours outweighs the three YEARS where I was either applying or in between application periods, wondering if I was ever going to make it in my field. Wondering why I had such crap luck, applying last year as the economy fell apart, constantly wait listed but never chosen.

So whatever happens for you this year...if it's your first, second, third, fourth round or greater, just remember that it does not make you a loser, it is not a reason to give up, and if you keep at it it WILL happen for you.

My stats: 4.0 cumulative, 700V/abysmal math, 710 subject,

Um, okay

multiple TA positions,

irrelevant--no one cares about your ability to "TA," especially not as an undergrad

multiple poetry publications,

For PhD in English programs, no one cares

three articles under review for publication,

But not accepted? Ouch.

and I won every writing award at my undergraduate university.

No one will look closely at your CV to even know.

I've also already presented at a conference,

Whoopee. So has everyone else.

where my paper was selected as Best Critical Paper out of two dozen universities presenting.

Oh, was this an undergrad conference? Then it didn't matter.

I'm fluent in French and speak passable Hellenic.

???

Yet, I am still unsure that I'll be accepted anywhere. Looking at the acceptances coming in on this website is terrifying.

I'm sure you'll get in somewhere.

I agree: you need to look inward. Obviously, no one here can comment on your chances, so looking here for affirmation is generally a bad idea. Additionally, your application is what it is. It's already in. No point in second-guessing it now.

And you might also want to drop the "I did it all with three kids" mantra before you get to grad school. It gets really old.

It seems to me that when someone is “fishing for a compliment” that tends to mean they really need one. I suppose I try to err on the side of being supportive and empathetic. Besides, many of us are looking for reassurance at this stage in the game, so if someone reaches out for some, why not extend it?

While I do think what you’ve said in your last post regarding admissions is accurate, since when did comments like “But not accepted? Ouch” and “Whoopee. So has everyone else” constitute useful criticism? If you think that minnares is radically mistaken about what counts in the admissions process, I think there were more effective (not to mention kind) ways of informing him/her so.

At any rate, I like to think of gradcafe as a community…one that I can turn to for both useful information and support/reassurance from others. We're all going through the same stressful process, let's be supportive.

Please don't believe from what I'm writing here that I am at all unsympathetic to the current worriers of our little world. I am very much among you and of you, but the reflective period that this process has forced on me has raised some (I think, anyway) useful questions. For one, why are my aspirations so bound up with this particular process? What is it that getting this advanced degree will do for me (beyond opening up the possibility of a particular kind of employment)? Yes, theoretically being a professor could be a comparatively more enjoyable way of participating in the world of work, but one ought to remember that it's still a job. Getting this degree and even getting an academic position are by no means keys to any kind of perfect bliss in the future.

Do I want to get a PhD because it will allow me to pursue my "research interests?" We might tell ourselves this one, but it's a lie every time. We develop research interests because we want to go to graduate school, not the other way around. No one would subject themselves to our current (and, in my opinion, somewhat abhorrent) knowledge bureaucracy unless they had a strong desire to get more higher education. In other words, if I don't get into graduate school my intellectual life will most assuredly not follow the (probably excessively narrow) trajectory that it would in grad school. Frankly, I'm kinda happy about that. And I'm not trying to de-legitimate research interests! But I think we should be more honest about their instrumentality...

Because I think at bottom what we all really want from grad school, or at least this is probably true in the humanities disciplines, is to have the chance to continue pursuing intellectual matters in a way that is (more or less) accepted and legitimated by society more generally. We want to be intellectuals, and we want to be them in such a way that won't limit our participation in other parts of social life (ie. we need to earn a living, we need the respect/credibility that comes with higher ed credentials, we need to be attached to institutions that are themselves respected).

My point though is that you can be an intellectual anywhere and while doing almost anything! And I could make a lot of arguments for why being an intellectual outside the academy is probably infinitely more satisfying from a purely intellectual standpoint (I think that's a discussion that should take place, but maybe in a new thread?). I think we all just want to be intellectuals, but we figured that out by going to college (or anyway, being in school). So our intellectual models are teachers/professors. But those don't have to be our only models! Embrace your inner Susan Sontag! I will be as upset as anyone if I'm rejected by all the schools to which I've applied, but we ought to keep in mind that the ultimate point of all this was something more fundamental (and I think something much more human) than acquiring another notarized piece of paper that affixes letters to your name. There is so much brainpower out there that isn't/won't/can't think beyond the academy! And the state of the world, financial and otherwise, renders it so necessary that we do!

Okay, that's all I've got. Back to refreshing my inbox every 3 minutes. For those who don't get into schools: get in touch with me and we'll talk about forming our own country or something.

UNC was one of the schools that claimed to be missing my GREs. (Turns out, they were just misfiled.) Anyway, I mentioned in my correspondence with the grad secretary that I hoped the delay wouldn't affect my review because I knew a couple of folks had already received offers. The grad sec sent me a really nice email confirming that the scores were found and that only a VERY* few applicants had been notified and that the committee was still reviewing applications.

(*emphasis: hers)

Thanks callmelilyb. I saw The Positives thread where many others had posted this sort of list and just assumed it was what is done here. Apparently not. Certainly not an affirmation "grab," but a miscalculation of how this online community flows. Ultimately, people here do not know me at all and can say anything they like. It won't diminish what I accomplished or that I did so while working full time with three kids. No worries. I'm Teflon, and in my experience, the haters have a hard go of it when reality strikes in graduate school and everyone is amazing. There's always a bigger fish. If I needed external affirmation from randoms that I don't even know, I wouldn't get it here. I understand that folks are coping with fragile egos and the terror of not getting into their dream program, and I found this website late in the game. So it's easy to fall on the new comer like a pack of ravenous dogs, rather than looking inwardly and determining where all that anger comes from.

Best,

~ m

Nighthob,

Everyone I met there was just really kind, not pretentious at all, gave willingly of their time, hours to sit and talk. It says so much about a school when even their "heavy hitter" professors will email you back promptly, regard you as a potential colleague, and spend time with you answering questions. Not to mention the campus is gorgeous, and as you said, fabulous research resources

~ m

Excuse me, but I'm new here. Why did I get two negative votes? Did I respond in the wrong thread or something? Apologies if so.

minnares

Nighthob,

Everyone I met there was just really kind, not pretentious at all, gave willingly of their time, hours to sit and talk. It says so much about a school when even their "heavy hitter" professors will email you back promptly, regard you as a potential colleague, and spend time with you answering questions. Not to mention the campus is gorgeous, and as you said, fabulous research resources

~ m

Thanks callmelilyb. I saw The Positives thread where many others had posted this sort of list and just assumed it was what is done here. Apparently not. Certainly not an affirmation "grab," but a miscalculation of how this online community flows. Ultimately, people here do not know me at all and can say anything they like. It won't diminish what I accomplished or that I did so while working full time with three kids. No worries. I'm Teflon, and in my experience, the haters have a hard go of it when reality strikes in graduate school and everyone is amazing. There's always a bigger fish. If I needed external affirmation from randoms that I don't even know, I wouldn't get it here. I understand that folks are coping with fragile egos and the terror of not getting into their dream program, and I found this website late in the game. So it's easy to fall on the new comer like a pack of ravenous dogs, rather than looking inwardly and determining where all that anger comes from.

Best,

~ m

minnares,

First may I say, welcome to the Gradcafe community! Sorry you found it so late in the game- I found it so useful during the application period, and am really appreciating the support and information during the waiting period (it's certainly given me more info than most of my programs, some of which did not even send emails confirming that my application was complete!).

Kudos on all your strengths; perhaps such a list wasn't exactly on topic with this thread's purpose, but your info about Indiana and Purdue more than made up for that . I'm sure people's tempers are just running high at this point in time and hearing about people who are just as qualified (or even more so) than we are just makes the competition seem even fiercer. And incidentally, hemingways_abs, I haven't presented at any conferences. So not *everyone* has.

I hope the nice comments you receive outweigh the nasty ones so that you're not scared off GradCafe. May I suggest a new piece of imagery to replace that of the ravenous dogs? Perhaps a housewarming party with brownies and cake and perhaps a couple of balloons to welcome you to our grad school application support group?

Good luck to you (and to all posters and lurkers on the forum!) with your applications. At this stage, that's all we can say really!

Edit: and on a completely linguistic note, thank you to nighthob for such a GREAT word- asshattery. I will actually try and use this.

Thanks callmelilyb. I saw The Positives thread where many others had posted this sort of list and just assumed it was what is done here. Apparently not. Certainly not an affirmation "grab," but a miscalculation of how this online community flows. Ultimately, people here do not know me at all and can say anything they like. It won't diminish what I accomplished or that I did so while working full time with three kids. No worries. I'm Teflon, and in my experience, the haters have a hard go of it when reality strikes in graduate school and everyone is amazing. There's always a bigger fish. If I needed external affirmation from randoms that I don't even know, I wouldn't get it here. I understand that folks are coping with fragile egos and the terror of not getting into their dream program, and I found this website late in the game. So it's easy to fall on the new comer like a pack of ravenous dogs, rather than looking inwardly and determining where all that anger comes from.

Best,

~ m

Thanks callmelilyb. I saw The Positives thread where many others had posted this sort of list and just assumed it was what is done here. Apparently not. Certainly not an affirmation "grab," but a miscalculation of how this online community flows. Ultimately, people here do not know me at all and can say anything they like. It won't diminish what I accomplished or that I did so while working full time with three kids. No worries. I'm Teflon, and in my experience, the haters have a hard go of it when reality strikes in graduate school and everyone is amazing. There's always a bigger fish. If I needed external affirmation from randoms that I don't even know, I wouldn't get it here. I understand that folks are coping with fragile egos and the terror of not getting into their dream program, and I found this website late in the game. So it's easy to fall on the new comer like a pack of ravenous dogs, rather than looking inwardly and determining where all that anger comes from.

Best,

~ m