yayspace

That is sad. What is this, Yahoo Chat from the 90's? (Well, it sort of looks like that era...) 

I suffer from email-check-itis. 
 

The New School for Social Research - the letter didn't say anything about who I'd be working with, but I hope to work with Hugh Raffles on human-animal stuff.

@pinkdragonslayer76 @ChrisTOEFert @hippyscientist @marycaryne Thanks everyone for the sympathy and kind words. I did get waitlisted this morning from Florida State, one of my top choices, so that is something to be excited about! Takes the sting of rejection away for a bit.  Happy Friday!

LOL oh no!! 

@pinkdragonslayer76 @ChrisTOEFert @hippyscientist @marycaryne Thanks everyone for the sympathy and kind words. I did get waitlisted this morning from Florida State, one of my top choices, so that is something to be excited about! Takes the sting of rejection away for a bit.  Happy Friday!

I finally got my bonsai tree last night. It is angry but beautiful. 

That's pretty weak of the school.  Maybe it's universe karma or something and you've got to fight through this really awful thing and then you're going to get accepts to all of the other remaining programs.

Yay @artsy16 CONGRATULATIONS  it definitely eases the panic.
 
@PattiJeane that is awful, I'm so sorry. That is super cruel of that school. I hope you have some good news soon.

Jesus. The carelessness is bordering on sadism. What a mindfuck.

Is that Penn State by any chance? I STILL haven't heard anything from them. If that's sent in error they should reimburse application costs for the emotional trauma!!! I've had an email from another university giving me my email address and log in to all student portals etc., although I haven't had an acceptance email from them either. I feel your pain!!!

I agree, if they didn't admit you but still sent you that e-mail you need to kick some butts.

@PattiJeane I really hope you're admitted! That sounds so nerve-wracking!

You know what would be awesome? If I heard back from the rest of the schools. And if the fantastic leather jacket I ordered would actually get here and stop being stuck on "accepted." Because I want my jacket and an acceptance. Preferably now. Yes that would be awesome.

Wow...okay.  I think you may have misconstrued my intentions.  Where did I 1) call you delusional?, 2) say that I know about your circumstances and life possibilities outside of grad school apart from (quite casually, I thought) saying there is always a chance next year or at some point in the future?  I have been in your shoes, I WAS rejected everywhere in the past.  I'm not trying to undermine your feelings, as it is a very confusing and frustrating time in your life, but making yourself sick over it (I think you mentioned an ulcer?) isn't going to do anything but compound the stress.

He certainly could have chosen a better voice to express his point. Mentioning stuff like the acceptances in the same breath as the advice just makes the whole thing a little more condescending. I'm happy for him and hope that he's successful with whichever acceptance he takes- he, just as anyone here who pursues a PhD or masters has earned their way. I get that he's not sugar coating the advice, nor does he have to. Benefit of the forum is that we're able to rock our opinions as we see fit. But if he or anyone else here things that a healthy dose of harshness or "reality" as I've come to know it- people need to get over themselves. This process is hard enough on people who are putting a fair bit of effort into it. They don't need to be reminded even further.
Negative reinforcement is never as good as positive. Sure, they may not get into any programs, but I think that in itself is all that's necessary for them to step back and say "hey, where can I improve this?", even if it takes them a little time to get to that mode of thought. And if someone does return to the process without trying to do anything, and then gets rejected again- who cares? Sure, they may complain, but that is ultimately their problem. I doubt that someone who can't work on improving themselves (even if there is nothing to improve, which has been never been the case in the history of humanity) is cut out for grad work as it is. Especially a PhD.
Just by the sheer fact that many programs accept 10% or less on a yearly basis, with hundreds of applicants (many of which probably overlap at the same schools), it should be expected that profs are going to aim at acquiring the same general 10% as their competitors, leaving many people in the dust. And many of them, not necessarily all of them, are qualified. So if you think that using a non-sugar coated opinion to tell other people who supposedly haven't worked their asses off to apply to grad school is justified because you did so and it worked out for you... get off your high horse. Encourage people, don't step on top of them. Everyone will be better for it.
edit: @ChrisTOEFert I get where your frustration on this comes from, too. There are plenty of people, especially in the results, who say "I don't get it- I was PERFECT and they rejected ME!" Don't forget that many of these applicants are probably people who have never been rejected once in their life, or who have been perhaps fairly sheltered, or maybe they are just trying to find a way to vent their frustration. Be bigger than that and just let their whinings go. I should probably get off my own high horse at this point. I'm not a fan of telling others how to live their lives. I just don't want the good in your message to be clouded by things that may rub others the wrong way.

To make your application better? Errrm . . . don't you think that's a bit obvious? That was my point. My snark was aimed at Chris's use of his "advice" as a launchpad for an enormous tome of humblebrag.  To wit --> "I may have 4 acceptances, so far 4/4, but there is a reason I have that many." <-- so gross, right there

First, if they admitted everybody, the degree would be worthless, so we wouldn't be in this boat to begin with because nobody would shoot for this.  Second, I am not "sitting on my high horse", I'm trying to give you some advice on what to do to improve your application.  Yes grad school sucks and is hard, but it wouldn't be worth it if it wasn't, would it?  So all that aside about it being a suck on your psyche, I'll move on.  I may have 4 acceptances, so far 4/4, but there is a reason I have that many.  No, I'm not some rockstar candidate with perfect GREs, perfect 4.0, external funding from 3 places, etc. etc.  If you have followed the thread you would realize I was rejected across the board in my first master's attempt.  I was 0/3, and even got rejected from my undergrad institution by MY OWN UNDERGRAD THESIS ADVISOR!!  I saw that my application was weak and I actively worked to change it to make it better.  
What I am trying to do is give you an idea on how to improve your applications for next year.  If you got rejected all around, you are, and to put it as bluntly as possible, not a competitive candidate.  Period.  That doesn't mean your research sucks, or you're not cut out to be a grad student, or your project is worthless.  It just is a weak application.  While it could be that all the POIs who do what you're interested in aren't taking students this year.  Maybe they thought they were going to have an opening (i.e. a PhD student of theirs is finally graduating and then BOOM, they hit a snag in their research or their SO dies and they need to take a leave for a couple of months which means they are still on the advisor's payroll for another year).  It's just there is so much OUTSIDE of your control, so why worry about it?  So focus on the things THAT YOU CAN AND DO HAVE CONTROL OVER.  Such as your SOP or GRE scores, to name a few.  I know when I got rejected all around my SOP sucked.  It was vague, lacked focus, and probably showed the adcoms that I was not capable of completing the research I was interested in within the 2 year Master's time frame, so why should they pay me if there is going to be no breakthrough or insight?  
IF YOU GET REJECTED ALL AROUND, CHANGE SOMETHING.  Make it better.  Don't just throw your hands in the air and say I did the best I can and then re-apply the next season with the exact same project, marks, and scores, as the end result is likely going to be the same.  While the scenario I talked about above (advisor thinking they had room and then suddenly at the last minute, 45 seconds before they are going to start reviewing applications their PhD student says they need one more year), is very rare, it does happen.  But chances are if you aren't getting in anywhere there is a reason.  And yes, I know grad school is competitive, 1-2% blah blah blah.  Still, why settle when research is always being pushed forward?  Push your application to be the best it can be.  Yes, our entire futures are riding on people we have never met, but I hate to break it to you, that's how the world works.  You don't hear the people getting in making that excuse.  "Oh I just wish they could meet me and then I would be in."  If "paper you" doesn't adequately explain why you are the best candidate of all the candidates, then you have a weak application.  Change it.  Make it stronger.   
I'll use myself as an example because why not, and I don't know any of you or your situations.  0/3 in Master's first try.  So what did I do?  I volunteered at an archaeology lab to show them my extra curricular activities were also my work passion.  I took some extra credits at my undergraduate university to boost my GPA because my major GPA was fine (A- average) but my cumulative GPA was lower than I would have liked (B average), so I changed it, I strengthened my GPA.  I started working on my SOP months ahead of time to make sure I knew everything about my topic of interest and I could show 1) what my project was, clearly and strongly, 2) the steps I was going to take to successfully complete it, and 3) why the project was important to the field of anthropology and archaeology.  Round 2 I was 3/5 and still rejected from my undergraduate school and undergrad thesis advisor.  I obviously took one of those other positions and am almost done my thesis for my Master's, but I still wasn't happy completely with where I was in my academic career.  So I did what I had to do.  I volunteered at a lab closely aligned with my interests, I'm taking online courses, I'm taking graduate level courses that are outside of my discipline that are allowing me to grow my interests and apply new concepts to my research interests, I am going to conferences, I am actively engaging with the public by joining societies aligned with my interests and even those outside of it because I know it will help me grow as a person, I am seeking out research collaborations with the top minds in my field because their research actually interests me.  
That is how I got 4/4 and accepted into the best Ancient DNA facility in the entire world without having to worry.  It wasn't because I was sitting smugly in my room and given the world on a silver platter.  I worked my god-damn ass off to be where I am today and I am sick of the jealousy and venom this forum spits every time someone else gets in somewhere while they are still in the dark or a person in their program got into a top school and they didn't.  Stop moaning about it and fix it. Change yourself for the better and be the person who gets into a Top 5 program with a full ride with that rockstar POI and amazing lab.  Or just be complacent and have the same result year after year after year and say to yourself "If only the adcoms could meet me, my application doesn't do me justice, I'm so nice, I deserve a PhD and so does everybody who applies."
Good luck with everything.

Just because we don't get in anywhere doesn't mean that we are not competitive. I've been told by numerous faculty that I am competitive.

"IF YOU GET REJECTED ALL AROUND, CHANGE SOMETHING.  Make it better.  Don't just throw your hands in the air and say I did the best I can and then re-apply the next season with the exact same project, marks, and scores, as the end result is likely going to be the same."

**sprints toward the door, trips over garbage can, barks both shins on lab table, gets back on feet, begins running again, makes it out of door into cold, night air: screams**  

EUREKA!!

Pure genius.

(PS) stop humblebragging, you're making everyone's eyes roll 

I love that I got down voted for this response. LOL. Wow. 

I understand your intentions were to help put things in perspective, which I appreciate. You didn't call me delusional outright. I was inferring this from your comment about what grad school is really like, in your experience and your statement about it not being glorious. I also inferred from your comment about trying again next year/getting a job in the field, etc. that you are assuming you know something about my current life situation. 
In other words, you may have written a well-intentioned comment, but came off a little like you were telling me how I should be reacting, telling me my emotions are not valid responses, etc. Hence my response. 

You are completely right, however it is very difficult for me to "just relax." Coming to this discussion forum and venting is what helps me. Different people react differently to rejections and logically I know you are right - it doesn't reflect on my identity as a writer. But I won't apologize for being anxious about it. Part of working through my emotions to logic is coming here and posting and reading other posts. 
And I know very well that a PhD program will not be "glorious" - that's not why I applied. I applied because I want to do a lot of homework, read a lot, etc. Just because I want it badly doesn't mean I'm delusional. Also, please don't assume that you know about my circumstances and what is or is not possible for me if I get rejected. 
I appreciate your advice and that you shared your experiences, however you are writing from the viewpoint of someone who has been accepted to schools, whereas I have not. Our situations are different and our thoughts/feelings are equally valid.

I love that I got down voted for this response. LOL. Wow. 

Yes yes and yes. I also don't understand where this idea came from that we all know nothing about grad school and that we think it's a walk in the park. Or that we don't understand that rejections aren't reflective of our worth - of course we know this to be true, but it doesn't make it any easier. Or that we applied because getting a PhD sounds cool. 
I especially hate it when people in my life are like "so when you leave for your PhD...." and I have to say, "I've not been accepted anywhere yet!" and they're like "Oh but it will happen!" and I'm like.... dude it might not. And they just think I'm being humble or something.