wisdomspeaks

Hi everyone, I am a PhD student in a social welfare program and I am having some difficulties being comfortable in classes and around the other students because I am not out yet. I have a lot of problems with social anxiety and lack of confidence--some of which are due to the issues I am having presenting to the outside world--and my program is small and tight knit. Well, it's tight knit but I'm not really a part of the community to be honest. I mostly isolate myself by working from home. Anyway, I have intense anxiety around the other PhD students as it is and I don't think they are expecting me to come out at all, but it's getting harder and harder to give my little elevator speech with my name and research interests and to hear people misgender me on a daily basis. I'm really really stressed and and uncomfortable and I need some support from someone who understands what I'm going through. How do I come out to people who see me as a certain person? How do I all of a sudden out of nowhere ask people to call me a different name? I appreciate your help in advance. I am on an online support group, but I can't find anyone who can relate to the specific issue of coming out in a phd program...

Hey thanks for your response! I sent them an email in the middle of the night and am going to call them when I have some time this afternoon. I think I'm just being paranoid and assuming the worst. I was real stressed that I wasn't able to do something about it immediately, I think. I'm glad I'm not the only one! the good news is that this happened to someone else in my program, too, so I think it might be a mistake they made.

The student accounts office is going to give me a heart attack, man, I swear. So here is my situation: I receive a full tuition waiver, a medical insurance waiver, and an annual stipend via my fellowship. On top of these funds, I requested a loan to help cover living expenses. I am responsible for paying student fees and I know the exact cost of each fee. I was able to calculate my refund amount ahead of time so I could budget for the semester. I usually receive both my loan and stipend in one huge lump sum, right? Tonight I checked my student account and my refund had been posted. I was missing almost $5k from my refund. I am a doctoral student. I typically charge a bunch of shit to my credit card during the summer because I know I can pay it off in the fall when I receive my stipend. My wife and I just don't make enough money to cover our bills when all we have is my research assistantship sans the financial aid. I need the full amount of the refund or I will be screwed. I am thinking maybe it was a mistake because it seems that my entire stipend is missing. The refund amount matches the loan amount exactly. However, I have a lot of mental health problems and this is driving me up the wall because I am afraid of not receiving the money I was expecting and I cannot do anything to resolve it at 2 am. I know this is irrational and absurd. I am entitled to this refund and they can't take it away from me lol. I think I might need some emotional support to calm my ass down. I apologize for the cursing. That's just how I talk, so if it bothers anyone let me know. Has anyone experienced this issue? What did you do? Should I be worried? Honestly, I just want to feel less alone in my financial struggles. Thanks for reading. --Allison

Hey all! I am glad that almost everyone got what they wanted out of this whole thing and am proud of all of you for your hard work I visited UB this weekend (and am actually still in Buffalo right now) and was extremely happy with the program here. They really encourage students to conduct their own research throughout the program and provide a lot of funding for that, so everyone was completely down with my desire to go abroad for my advanced year field placement to do a study on international adoption policy. I am excited for that! Anyway, good luck to everyone and I hope to continue hearing from ya'll on these forums!

@AMStudent I don't think they would stagger invitations. I have a pretty good idea of how their process works because I have spoken to a lot of people there and it seems unlikely I'd receive my invitation on a different day, based on how they've done stuff in the past that's really exciting for you, though, especially since it's your first choice! You need to connect with someone else around these forums before you head out there. And of course, let us know how the visit goes when you return

I'm happy for you I didn't get anything so I'm assuming that means I was rejected, unless they don't send out those notifications all at once. I'm assuming they probably do.

Hey @thegibson I think what you are sensing is pretty accurate. A lot of people want that joint doctoral program! As pretentious and annoying as U-M is, I'm wondering if I would have turned down the chance to earn soc/social work doctoral degrees simultaneously. Probably not. not sure if you've been around the other thread, but I did get a rejection from UW-Madison's MSW/PhD program in late January. If you're still in the game at this point, it's probably a good sign.

@MCinephile I have joined your team as of today! @thegibson There is still hope left for you, at least lol Still. I am seriously happy that I have one acceptance, even though it's a meager 1/5... A second ago I was like, "3 more rejections to go!" and my girlfriend was like, "could ya rephrase that or something? Damn."

Hi @AMStudent I haven't heard anything yet, but there is still time to be rejected!!!

Hey everyone! So I saw some rejections and waitlists went out today for U-M social work/sociology. I'm wondering who these were for. I didn't get anything yet... But I'm not getting my hopes up that that's good news! I am hoping I hear back tomorrow. Anyone else hear back yet this week? My only update is a rejection (last week) for University of Chicago.

@MrsKozee I haven't gotten anything from them and I applied there. I am happy you got in. The human rights focus shines through everything about their program. Unfortunately, for me, my application there was a bit of an afterthought and I'm not too hopeful I'll get accepted. I don't think enough faculty focus on my specific interests. There are overlaps but it's not the best fit and I would choose UB (where I have already received an acceptance and full funding--I got the fellowship I was nominated for btw, everyone... But I've been too focused on all the recent rejections) over UCLA. It's a great program though and I'm glad the acceptances are going to people who deserve it It's a shame I don't think it'd be the best fit for me because I do love their program overall!

@JointPhD-Social Work Guy I was hopeful that was your post on the results page!!!!! See, you didn't have to go with your worst case scenario after all. This is awesome and I bet you can rest easy now that you know you're headed somewhere great

@MCinephile congrats !!!!!!!! That's so exciting. I think you might be the first to hear back! @MAnthroAA I have not heard back and have not spoken with anyone who has, but it'll be any day now...

@wongjcz congratulations!!!!!!!! Thats so exciting!

@Happysoul wow and I thought moving out of state was stressful!! I can only imagine moving a five year old to another country. Have you lived in the U.S. Before? By the way, I completely get the job situation. My partner is a chef and works at four seasons so somewhere on the west coast would be most convenient because she can transfer anywhere in the world to another four seasons quite easily. While I like UB a LOT, I am concerned about the rust belt economy and limited opportunities. It's a lot to think about. We will see what my options are. It would be cool if we both were finalists at USC and got to meet one another, wouldn't it?