robot_hamster

I guess it's not so much that I think they will think I am being mean. It's more like they are going to think I'm not communicating very well exactly what needs to be in the paper. They were asking me tons of questions about if the paper was supposed to contain this or that. I don't know EXACTLY what the professor wants 100% of the time, but I don't think it is appropriate to spell everything out for them word for word anyway. I did try giving hints here and there when it looked like someone was struggling. But then I feel like maybe it is my fault they didn't do better because I wasn't steering them in the right direction. Maybe I'm just completely over-analyzing this!

The rubric is subjective in the sense that the highest score for one aspect, for example, is described as "effectively" communicating x,y,z. Different people could interpret it differently depending on their own personal experiences. For me, I can't help but look at it from a student's perspective. So when I read the paper, I'm thinking yeah they were pretty effective in doing this. The professor, on the other hand, disagrees.

Well I think I'm giving them the grade they deserve! But the professor doesn't seem to agree. See what I mean about things being very subjective?

While grading some papers, I discovered that the rubric the professor provided is quite subjective. I tend to lean toward giving a higher grade on things, but I was given strict instructions to be very harsh with the grading. I was thinking about it and I have come to the conclusion that the students are going to hate me. I almost feel like secretly telling everyone that their grade wouldn't be the grade I would have normally give them. Haha! Maybe I am just too nice. Do others find this typical?

Another thought. Even if it is just an instructor position, it is still probably good experience if you're looking to be a professor later on down the line. Something to fill the void between the masters and the PhD if you're looking to take some time off from school.

I went back and edited when I saw that you posted the first time.

Okay, I looked up the community college's website. They have some job listings, this is for an instructor position. So yes, Eigen, this is probably what they were.

I had high school teachers with PhDs too, but not too many. I also had teachers that didn't even have a teaching degree, they got what they call a teaching certificate.

Depends on the community college. I took classes at the one here where I live way back when and there were high school teachers teaching some of the classes. I doubt they had PhDs.

Vacuum - The people in my department don't reveal things said in confidence (at least not that I know of), but the people in graduate studies sure do! That is who the other person was telling me to talk to. I have gone to them in the past and next thing I knew my professor knew ALL about it.

This all sounds like good advice and I appreciate it. I do want to say though that I am not comfortable going to the associate director again. I literally begged, groveled at their feet even, just to get this TA position. You may not remember, but I spoke of this in another thread last fall. If I go to them again and tell them I am depressed and anxious, they may regret giving me a chance with a TA position. And now that I think about it, I would be afraid to go to the graduate studies office as well. Seems like you can't say anything in confidence at that school. You come to one person with an issue and before you know it everyone knows about it.

I don't remember paying anything. My application fee was waived and it didn't cost anything to send my GRE score and transcripts. I guess I paid $75 to take the GRE itself, I applied for assistance for paying the fee and I got a certificate for half of the cost.

Wow, I agree with the others. This guy is being totally unreasonable. Who publishes after one semester of grad school? I don't know anyone!

Thank you for your answers. I haven't had a chance to find anything out yet. One of our pets was having some medical issues, so I have been busy. I was totally unprepared for class today, ugh!

I got married long before grad school, well before undergrad actually too. How much planning are you planning on doing this summer when you would possibly have more free time (l don't know if you take summer courses)? Depending on where you live, you need to make reservations WAAAAAAAAAAAY in advance. We had to book our reception hall and photographer a year in advance. If you have all the major stuff out of the way before the Fall, then you can do all the little things bit by bit during your last semesters. Congrats, BTW!

I would say only if they specifically say "please call me _______". I would call them Dr. _______ until then.

Sounds to me like the admissions department just needs to double check to make sure everything is in order, which I'm sure it will be. So that means you're in!

I had a side thought about this today. I'm wondering if some of this is stemming from the fact that I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I attended a small liberal arts college as an undergrad. This is a large state university and I am no longer surrounded by like minded people. I'm not saying I don't appreciate diversity, I work with a lot of different kinds of people at my job. But I guess when it comes to my area of study, I have a set of ideals. Those ideals seem to be in the minority here. Does that make sense? I can see why I feel so alienated.

Are you thinking advisers? Or maybe even committee members? It is common to have several committee members, but I know a few people that have two advisers.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking about funding, just as long as you ask it in the right way. Maybe ask how many of their advisees receive funding. If you're interested in publishing, you may want to ask how many of their advisees have successfully published their work.

I was reading the information on the "health plan" that I get as a grad student. It says that all services, including counseling and psychological services, are covered 100% at the university's health center. It says it will pay 80% on preferred providers outside the university's health center after a $400 deductible. I'm not sure if and how that applies to seeing an outside psychiatrist. I can ask the next time I am there at the health center.

I don't really have any friends I can count on. I have my husband, but he thinks I'm being overly dramatic and that I need to get over it. How much would a more professional therapist cost? I don't have insurance anymore and I don't think I could afford $75-$100/hr. I have seen therapists before, a long time ago when I had insurance. I didn't really like any of them. Most of them just tried throwing pills at me (but I can't stand the way they make me feel) and one told me there was nothing wrong with me. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. It usually cycles up and down, but right now it seems like I just keep going down and down. There is just too much stuff that I am having to deal with. I had to go to work today and it was awful. The time just seemed to crawl by and I didn't want to be there at all.

I know other people have talked about having problems with anxiety and depression on here, but I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I can't sleep at night and all I want to do is eat stuff. I am constantly worrying about my classes or how the professor I am a TA for thinks I am doing. I can't concentrate enough to read the assigned materials for class. There are times where I won't even make it through a paragraph before my mind starts to wander and I will be like "Wait, what did I just read?". I am supposed to write several papers this semester, but I have been having so much trouble writing lately. I will literally stare at a blank word document for hours trying to figure out how to start writing something. I might type a beginning sentence out, only to immediately erase it because it doesn't sound right. Most of all though, I am stressed out about money. I gave up my part-time employment status at my job for this TA position. I still work there on weekends, but it is just getting to be too much since that time could be better spent working on stuff for school. I fear quitting my job all together though because I won't have anything for this coming summer or anything to fall back on if I don't find another TA position (there are no guarantees I will be able to get TA positions for future semesters). I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining. I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me. The councilors they have at my school don't really seem to understand. They act like I should just think positively and all my problems will fade away. Yeah...

Oh man! I think I'm scared now!

I have never heard of this, but I don't have any tattoos either. I guess it would depend on your school and whether or not you're in a professional setting (like a conference). I see people with tattoos and piercings all the time at school and I think they are pretty laid back about it. I will also point out that I am a TA and they don't require me to dress "professionally" while in the classroom.So if they don't care that I am wearing jeans, I doubt they would care if I had a tattoo.