SomeoneThrewMyShoe
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Posts posted by SomeoneThrewMyShoe
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18 hours ago, m-artman said:
am hoping to find a one bedroom apartment in a relatively quiet area that's walkable (within 25 minutes) to campus.
Quite realistic. There are a much of apartment buildings. In my time here I've only stayed in the same one (which isn't a one bedroom) but my friend has an apartment he likes at Ivy Hall which is reasonable and right near campus.
18 hours ago, m-artman said:I've been told that the majority of the students in my program commute from Philly, but that just seems insane to me.
I would not do this. Maybe for your program it makes sense if you're going to have an internship in the city for a lot of the time, but my friend does this now and while there are certainly more things to do in Philly than in Newark - you spend a lot of time in traffic.
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16 hours ago, Oklash said:
So what now?
I put so much time into grad apps and decision making that now that i finally have a program and it’s finally past April 15th, I don’t know what to do with myself. It sounds silly but now I’m just listlessly waiting for fall to arrive :/. I’m reading up on discipline literature and working on language requirements but now that the excitement of the past few months has dwindled...I’m kind of bored. I feel kind of empty without any deadlines to meet, advice to seek or work to do. Oh well, I should probably just enjoy the down time while I can because I’m sure I will be singing a different tune when the responsibilities of grad school kick in
SAME. I feel kind of empty? Like I feel like there's something else I should really be doing (besides my masters thesis, but I digress). Instead I'm just watching tons of Law and Order: SVU.
I'm totally in love with my program and I'm SUPER HYPE about all of it and I signed a lease but...like...I feel like I need SOMETHING TO DO. I wish they gave me summer homework or something.
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Current OSU Students: Is the gym super crowded? I know there's multiple gyms/athletic centers that students have access too but with so many people is it constantly packed?
is it worth the while paying for another gym in Columbus for peace of mind/not having to wait forever for a machine?
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40 minutes ago, TheScienceHoney said:
I'm looking for housing, saving up for the cost of moving across the country, and planning a trip to Iceland! Aside from all that, I'm gonna not stress, I'm gonna read all the books on my to-read list, I'm gonna binge watch all the TV shows I've been meaning to, and I'm going to enjoy late nights and early mornings and spending time with friends. Mostly, I want to enjoy the last bit of a 'break' I get before diving into the grad school life!
I *just* got back from a trip to Iceland less than two weeks ago! My favorite place I've ever been!
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6 minutes ago, cinderellasyndrome said:
It's for an MA. My parents are willing to help me somewhat, and as grateful as I am for them, I don't know how comfortable I am accepting that. I'm working on it, though. The $500ish/month would be after rent and utilities only.
Out of curiosity, why was School B the clear choice to you? I'm not questioning your judgment at all, only asking because that's much more clarity than I have right now and it'd be interesting to hear that perspective.
Obviously I don't have all the information, but from what it sounds like, School B seems more competitive/has more people to work with besides the one from undergrad! Plus you just seem more excited to live there! If you read through your post again it seems like you're pretty excited about School B.
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20 minutes ago, cinderellasyndrome said:
Someone please help me. My head is spinning, everything is upside down, and I feel literally paralyzed at having to make this decision. Please assess these on their face and don't go digging through my history. I calculated what I'd be living on based on the stipend divided over 9 months minus roughly what I'd be paying in rent.
School A: My alma mater, the flagship school in the state where I currently live. Very cold, very rural – was great for undergrad, but I'm looking at a long commute for grad from a town I really don't love. On the other hand, I have a great mentor there from undergrad (who I have some guilt about potentially turning down), the resources are phenomenal, I have existing connections on campus which is a plus and a minus. The research going on is pretty good. I'd be living on about $1,000/month, but I don't see life in the area being all that great, especially once it gets cold.
School B: Large state school about 12 hours (so, a plane ride most likely) from home. Amazing program, top-notch research that relates pretty well to what I'm looking to do, super well-equipped for the thesis I have in mind right now. A lot of faculty I could see myself working with, though none in my exact area. Really gorgeous small city, temperate weather (I love playing tennis and volleyball outdoors when I can). I can really see myself having a life there, but I'd be trying to live on $500/month (y i k e s).
Any thoughts? This is an extremely difficult decision and I'd appreciate any input from people who have been there, especially when it comes to the "leaving home" issue.
I thought that School B was the clear choice until your last sentence. Is that $500 a month like...after you pay rent/living expenses or is that your stipend? How comfortable are you with taking out loans? For what it's worth if the $500 is your living expenses after rent, that's not great, but for one of the years in my masters' I took out a small loan from the school (around $2,000) because I know me and my spending habits and I knew that I would want to have money to have fun with/to pay for my PhD apps. Is that an option for you?
Is this for a masters or a PhD program? I know in my field at least (not trying to generalize) that going to the same undergrad and PhD may be troubling when you're applying for academic jobs - it means you've only gained one perspective (again I don't know if this is applicable to all fields).
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1) Enjoy yourself
2) Finish up your current program if you're still in undergrad
3) Find an apartment (this took me forever - I've been looking for the past two months for my ideal situation and JUST found the perfect house the other day)
4). This may not be a concern to you but switch health insurance if you're opting in for your university's insurance
5) GET HYPE - Grad school is weird and stressful but (at least for my masters) I've been having a blaaaast.
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I would go for the masters'.
I'm currently in a masters' program that's known for being great as a sort of "PhD prep" program and now I'm planning on attending a doctoral program that has great placement at R1s (I don't even necessarily know that I want to go that route but it's nice I have the option).
You need to think about where you're going to get a job - and if what you want is an R1 institution/research gig - that you should go for a masters and apply to doctoral programs that have a good placement record.
You don't have to accept a doctoral offer just because it's a doctoral offer.
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9 hours ago, liliafax said:
My question is: should I email the POI separately to thank them specifically for their time or is just having them CCed to the formal declining letter sufficient.
I think that CC'ing them on an email might be a bit impersonal if you've talked to them personally? To the few POI I felt close to/I talked to personally, I sent a separate email thanking them for their mentorship and help making this difficult decision and said I looked forward to seeing them at conferences/reading their work that has already been a great influence on my research.
9 hours ago, liliafax said:Should I still reply to that original offer email (as a reply all) or write a new email altogether?
I would send the email to the new person.
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1 hour ago, lm3481 said:
This week I told him I was leaning toward leaving, and we spent an hour arguing, as he was certain I would be "making a huge mistake" if I leave. He said he would take me off all of our current projects if I do go, and he said, "I feel like I'm giving you the keys to a Ferrari, and you just want to go drive a Mercedes ."
This is VERY concerning. I would not want to work with this person for four more years. While it is nice that he wants you to stay so badly, the fact that he is low-key threatening you if you don't stay at the school/is going to be detrimental towards your career is the most telling part of all of this. I know you like this person but no professor should take the fact that you want to go to a much better program so personally that they're going to remove you from working with them.
I would let the other program know that I was accepting their offer like....yesterday.
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58 minutes ago, Oklash said:
I have two grad school offers:
School a: has a generous stipend with a low cost of living. The faculty is nice and the campus is beautiful though the town surrounding it is a bit dry & lackluster. This stipend is paid over 9 months which means I’m on my own during the summer. The school is also only 4 hours away which is a huge plus and I’ve found an apartment I LOVE!
School b: has a stipend much lower despite being a bit more “prestigious.” But the stipend is paid over 12 months, funds summer classes and gives $1000+ travel funding. The campus is also a tad nicer with a more lively town life. The faculty is bigger but I’m not sure about “better” and the average class size is also larger. This school is 9 hours from where I live.
I mention distance b/c Both are obly MA programs so whichever decision I make, it won’t be as permanent as a PhD program.
So which should I choose? The school that’s close to home with a good stipend and great faculty? Or the school that’s more prestigious, offers summer funding and has a busier town life?
I'm Team A mainly because I did this for my masters'. I chose a school with the best fit that was about a 5 hour drive from home (I literally just did it haha - visiting for the weekend) and it actually set me up really well for my PhD. I am very close to my family and all my friends are in the same area, so it was nice to be closer to kind of wean me into the idea of living away from home. Plus, with the distance I was able to visit about once a month and see everyone I loved. Now I'm moving halfway across the country for my PhD and I'm not even worried about it (well..not worried about the distance anyway).
Ask School A if they have travel funds (my MA program didn't include it in our financial packages, but if anyone was accepted to anything they were able to find funds/help apply for school grants). As far as summers go - if School A's stipend is generous enough you'll hopefully be able to save up enough to last you summers!
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2 hours ago, Carly Rae Jepsen said:
Everyone: would you attend a program you did not visit? Everybody in grad school tells me it is imperative to attend a grad school to see the environment for yourself and, while I agree, I do feel bad for rejecting a place mostly because I was unable to visit. In my defense I think funding is better at another program that I visited and fell in love with, but this program I couldn't visit seems fantastic on its own, too.
Just wanted to hear an opinion (I know not everybody gets a chance to visit before attending a program), but honestly I am closer and closer to deciding.
I was 100% in the same situation. There were two schools that I didn't visit, so therefore I didn't get to meet their current grad students, see the department, fall in love with it, etc. I completely fell in love with the program i ended up deciding on and visited, so I guess I'm not super wondering what those other programs would have been like? But to be fair I chose to visit the school I decided on because I needed to see it before I committed. The other two I didn't try to visit. And honestly visiting them would have probably just made my decision more difficult - I felt way more guilty about rejecting the schools I visited than the schools I didn't (but that might just be because "I'm not going here" emails cause me a lot of anxiety).
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13 minutes ago, Bayesian1701 said:
That just happened to me yesterday. I felt so intimated because the student got a master’s first and took graduate classes before. They wouldn’t have admitted us unless they thought we could handle it. Congrats on making a decision.
One of my potential (well now, future) professors mentioned that in my meeting with him. I casually mentioned impostor syndrome and he said "It took me about 10 years to get over that". So, something to look forward to?
Thank you so much! Now I just have to send the dreaded "I am not going here" emails.
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So yesterday I visited one of my schools, felt like the biggest imposter in the world, maybe had a bit of a stroke, and then I SIGNED A CONTRACT?
I haven't even heard back from two of my schools (one I'm waitlisted at, another is an assumed rejection) but I FELL IN LOVE with the labs and the department and some potential advisers and the current grad students were all really cool (and sooooo intelligent, I'm kinda out of my league here).
And because of the snow that's hitting the East right now I'm stuck here for another day (and the department generously paid for another night at the hotel) so I'm going to go buy some apparel and explore.
I.am.so.at.peace.
- AllieKat, iliketurtlestoo, AB121212 and 5 others
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I was actually in the same predicament this application cycle! I got into a school that is 20 minutes from my home, 10 minutes from my undergrad institution, and in the same area as so many of my friends (and all of my friends and family wanted me to go). It wasn't the best fit, and I got into more prestigious schools/was offered more money. So unless one of my family members gets VERY ill within the next 3 weeks so that I need to live close to home, I'll be going to a school 10 hours away. It was a really hard decision (and I honestly had to mourn that I wasn't going to be near my friends), but it's the best for my career. My adviser framed it to me as "It's four years of your life, living away, so you can get a job close to your people". That really helped me.
Going to the school with the best fit is the ideal career move. You'll likely excel there more, have more opportunities, and that will set you up for more job prospects so you can get a job close to your family (ideally). I've lived 5 hours away from home for my masters and I've been financially comfortable enough to visit a few times a semester and have had people come stay for weekends! Plus you're likely going to make new friends/have a fulfilling life no matter where you go to school!
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So I'm a 'do work on the computer constantly' person and I had a HUGE very heavy computer for undergrad (its name is Marty McFly) that I still have to this day. I knew that I didn't want to carry it everywhere but on that ~grad student stipend~ a newer computer wasn't really an option, so I opted/would highly reccomend a Chromebook. They're as cheap as $150 and SUPER lightweight (mine weighs like nothing). It's awesome because most days I toss it in my bag and go and I'm able to do work. They also have an insanely long battery life.
Caveat: they only run Chrome OS. So if I need to run SPSS or Stata or something, I have to use my regular PC, but for just writing papers and reading articles and responding to emails, this thing has been amazing. Plus I do everything in Google Docs anyway so if I use my other computer, it's all there.
1,000,000/10 would reccommend as a solution if your campus doesn't have a lot of computers for free use!
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13 minutes ago, throwaway-cyberfish said:
I'm so bad at saying "no".
SAME.
One professor is super excited to work with me (yay) but after my visit: I didn't love the school. I didn't think I'd really do well there. He was nice and he was so happy to work with me and the idea of saying no keeps me up at night.
Again: if anyone has any template "Hi I'm really thankful for the opportunity but I am not attending here" emails, I'd be v appreciative. The prospect of typing it all out and sending it and then - oh god will they respond to my 'no'? Is it bad if they don't respond?
My thoughts spiral out of control at the thought.
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I'm not in your field, but in my experience schools are usually pretty accomodating when it comes to visiting days, especially since they've already accepted you, they're probably going to be very open to helping you visit the school. Although it's nice to attend the visiting days to meet your potential fellow cohort and get the FULL experience, if you contact the department ahead of time, they could very well offer to coordinate your visit/potentially fund it.
I'm on a trip abroad during the visitation days for one of my programs and I asked if there were any other options: and they're paying for me to fly out, arranged for me to meet with the faculty, and to have a lunch with a few of the current students. It's not the FULL experience, but they were super willing to help - because they want me to attend the school (and I'm likely going to).
It's possible that they won't be able to fund you, but if they were going to pay to fund you during your official visitation days, they might extend the courtesy to a different day. I think the grad director would also happily help you coordinate a visit with potential POIs.
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So, I've never been in this situation, but it's my understanding that when you accept an offer, it looks preeeeetty bad to take it back. I don't know if you've signed your contract already - but that's kind of a binding doccument, I think? And regardless, now that you've accepted, they might have rejected someone on the waitlist, already made plans for you, etc. I mean if you're REALLY feelin' School B, it'd be worth it to ask School A if you can rescind your acceptance, but there's a good chance they'll get angry.
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On 2/25/2018 at 4:53 PM, LibraryLivingJT said:
Thank you so much, and again, not sure since I have not completely made my decision yet (still 5 more schools to hear back from).
And my fiance will have the car most of the time for commuting to wherever he happens to get a job, so I don't plan to have it on campus much. And yeah, I'm spoiled now where I am because as a faculty member (adjunct) I only have to pay $2 for a parking pass (small liberal arts state university).
When I visit I am going to get some more info on on-campus housing vs. off campus and suggestions.
It is good to hear that for the future that there are many apartments on shuttle routes! That sounds fantastic. I also plan to bike around a lot. - for the shuttle, do you buy a yearly or monthly pass, or pay each time you go on?
The UD Shuttle is free! It's awesome and we have a pretty good app for it . There are multiple routes too depending upon where you live. As far as other transportation: there's a bus public transport around Delaware called DART but I've never used it. And then in Newark we have a SEPTA train stop that takes you into Philly!
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The best thing a potential advisor said to me at a visit was "No matter what you decide, when you do, you'll convince youself it was the right choice - so it really doesn't matter!"
Obviously it DOES matter and this decision is going to determine a lot about your life but honestly I thought that was kind of comforting? I haven't made an official decision or signed anything, but I know what school I'd like to go to. And as long as I get off the plane for my visit and it isn't a total nuclear wasteland and as long as my potential department doesn't throw rocks at me, I'm kind of deadset on going.
And it terrified me. For like 3 days I couldn't sleep because I was saying goodbye to all the potential lives I'd lead at other schools. And after that brief mourning period (it honestly kind of felt like the 5 stages of grief) - I have just been so hype about the school I'm pretty set on. I've been researching apartments. I've been looking at cool places to eat in the city. I've been looking at the faculty and kind of falling in love with it.
So long story short: mourn the life you could have lived at another school. Let it go and let you in an alternate universe enjoy that life and then just get HYPE about your new school. This change is terrifying but it's so exciting!
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4 hours ago, SetDec said:
@SomeoneThrewMyShoe I am in the exact same boat, my field is so incredibly small that I don't want to offend anyone a burn any bridges. I keep having to explain that traveling across the country to a completely different environment, especially the fact that I would be moving from 75 and sunny 340 days a year to snow for a majority of fall/winter, for three years is an extremely personal decision. I also haven't heard back from one program, they said they would have decisions out this week and another program is pressuring me to accept without hearing back from everyone.
My field isn't even that small but I feel like I'm going to offend someone? A pretty big name in my field is my assigned advisor at one of my schools; he JUST got there and he said he's never had a doctoral advisee before and he's so excited for me! I'm pretty sure I'm not going there but I AM FEELING ALL OF THE GUILT. Like...is he going to resent me when I see him at conferences?
2 hours ago, Bayesian1701 said:SAME! I feel bad that I am going on 4 visits where each program is spending approximately a $1000 on me and I can only attend one of them. And all of the people have been super nice and I like them. I feel like I am going to hurt their feelings or something. All of my programs knew where I applied so I think they know that I am sitting on multiple offers.
I also feel so bad that while so many people are shutting out this year I have 5 offers and 3 programs to hear back from. I am not trying to brag but this is not a frequent occurrence in stats. One of my programs emailed me telling me that they have a large waitlist and I realized that I am holding so many spots. I don't know what I want to do anymore and of course, I am still waiting for my first choice. We have 45 days to decide. This is so stressful.
Honestly, you should brag! That's amazing!
Waitlist Guilt should be a named phenomenon. I'm fairly confident that I'm going to one of the schools that accepted me - but I can't confirm until I visit next month. Gotta get a feel for it. Hopefully in mid-March I'll let schools know and that's enough time for them to notify the waitlist. Like this is such a nice problem to have but it's also the source of all of my anxiety.
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This may be just me but:
Does anyone else get really anxious at the idea of having to send "I'm not coming there" emails?
I know that this is the way this whole thing works, but I've loved so many of the people I've met with on my visits and love some of the work the people who have contacted me are doing. I keep thinking "Wow, they're going to hate me" when I tell them I'm not going. I know for them it's not personal, but for me this process is SUPER PERSONAL. (I also just didn't anticipate having this problem of HAVING A CHOICE but I digress).
On a related note: if anyone has a good template "I'm so honored you accepted me and I love your work but I've decided to go somewhere else " email, send it this girl's way.
Newark, DE
in City Guide
Posted
Soooo a lot of nicer places are more expensive for a one bedroom. I've never looked for a one bedroom so I can't name prices, but I know that Ivy Hall is on the cheaper side. Studio Green. Park Place. I think South Gate is on the less expensive side? Again, I've never lived at those complexes but I know students have said they're affordable. Some of those that I just listed are farther from campus (like, not a 20 minute walk). They are, however, on various shuttle routes that run about every 20 minutes and take you to campus and is free. We have an app that's actually pretty great and accurate. So even though they're farther from campus they're accessible. Studio Green and Stone Gate are all on shuttle routes that pick you up directly from the complexes. Park Place isn't directly but it's close to a stop (I think). I would also call University Courtyards. They're basically on campus. I don't know how affordable their one bedrooms are but they do individual leases. Also The Retreat is an apartment complex that does individual leases as well. You get your own bedroom and bathroom for about $700 a month. It's on the shuttle route as well.
If you want a place closer to campus, I think it's going to be more expensive and you should maybe try to find a roommate.