I feel you. I’m from Vietnam, an Asian country that expects woman to be not too smart, to be submissive, etc. I was single for 6 years no matter how hard I tried in going out with guys. I thought all my strengths became weaknesses: I got a lot of academic prizes, won a scholarship to study in America, and travelled to 8 countries, which was a bit unusual for a Vietnamese woman at the age of 24. Men would think I was too much. Plus I have a very strong personality and would always stand up for myself, which isn’t considered a good trait, either. For 6 years, I tried really hard in dating. My friends even called me “Queen of first dates.” Until I went to the US to pursue my MA degree when I met my current bf. He made all my insecurities go away.
Is there any group that you feel like you can find a bf there? With group I mean academic, social or (sorry for saying this) racial. Like you say you had a white guy turn you down, did you consider joining a group/event/community that has many black guys? I don’t mean racist here and I don’t understand much about black culture; I’m just saying targeting the right kind of guys may work. Like if you’re outgoing and extrovert, you may want to hang out with guys who are a bit shy (I mean if you like them). I always find opposites attract, but it’s just my personal experience.
Just one note. Don’t change yourself. If you feel happy doing what you’re doing, stick with it. You can’t change just to be in a relationship, as you’ll be finally feel sick in it. And even if you can’t find a bf, then be it. It’s just not worth changing who you are.
