Yes. To everything that you have to say. And, that it is also okay to manage through self-care strategies, while simultaneously feeling a heavy heart and self-soothing through compulsively checking online portals / being active on this forum. Yes to it all, because all of it matters. The self-soothing and the processing and the feeling and the avoidance. It is true that the decisions that come out are not reflective of us as human beings and it is also true, that the decisions that come out affect us as human beings. All of this is so real, and prudent, and important - right now. I think the biggest breath we can give ourselves, is to be with ourselves in solidarity and acceptance while extending or hibernating away from the support that surrounds us. I hope you are open to your heavy heart, and that it can rest in you; until you find your way through it - for whatever direction it goes.