fuzzylogician

Echoing what the others have said, absolutely stay out of it. It is 100% certain that there is more going on there than "books in the way." I wouldn't be surprised if recruiting students to help is another move in this chess game. Find a way to work with the people who are there now and just wait this out. There is nothing you can do to change the outcome.

Alright, then maybe it's time to stop working with the tutor, since you don't trust him. I am not sure if finding another tutor would help you, but if so then find someone who specializes in the GRE, not just in math/English. Also, concentrate just on what matters. As a history student (if your profile is correct), the verbal score will matter much more than the math score. Maybe you should find ways to improve the speed of your reading or alternatively learn to use the questions as a guide so you can skim the parts that don't matter. I'm sure your books have some strategies for that. I would also suggest picking just one of the books and focusing on that, so you don't overwhelm yourself with all the different techniques that teach you to do basically the same thing.

Any chance you can talk to more senior students in your department about how to juggle coursework and research, and what is expected of you? As rising_star suggested, one thing I did was use my coursework as an opportunity to advance some of my research. In my program, in the first year the focus was very much on coursework, and only in the second year did it start to shift. But once it did, I was encouraged to submit parts of the same project I was working on as final papers for classes, as opposed to writing something new that was unrelated. I also tried to use my coursework to read relevant things. Also important -- at some point I resigned to doing work that was just "good enough" but not great for courses that weren't going to directly contribute to my work. I just realized that at some point something had to give, and better it be the coursework than the research.

Have you taken one of the free practice tests that the ETS website provides? This may be a good time to do so, to get an idea of how things are really going. Your anxiety might be making you believe that things are worse than they are. It's important to remember that the GRE is just a hurdle you have to pass. You don't have to excel at it. The GRE can *sometimes* keep you out if your scores are too low, but they are never what gets you into a PhD program. So the goal just needs to be "good enough." You can do that! If you can identify problems with specific sections, this might be a case where a tutor might be useful to help you get past the anxiety and pick up skills to tackle the problematic sections. But that's probably a secondary step after actually diagnosing where the difficulty is coming from.

Hi there, I moved your post to a new, more appropriate location. To get replies, it would help if you told us what field you are applying in, and what degree you are aiming for, otherwise it's a bit hard to guess.

It's a real shame that this one person is causing you so much anxiety. From everything you've written in your previous posts, it sounds like you are a good teacher. I am not sure why this person is not appreciating it, but even if it were all true and there are problems with your teaching, it's still not a reason to quit. The PhD is a research degree. You do it because you enjoy the work, and because the jobs you want to have later on require it. You can learn to improve as a teacher. After you graduate, if you truly believe you are not a good teacher, there are low- or no-teaching jobs out there. It is also perfectly legitimate to decide to get a job in industry instead, but make sure you make the choice for the right reasons, so you don't regret it later. To me, frustration with the TA coordinator is not the right reason.

What will your other LORs be able to say about you? In particular, do you have other letters that talk about your lab experience and contributions? Along those lines, how much did you interact with Prof 2? Are there any tangible outcomes from your time in the lab - new data produced, experiments completed, etc? That is, can he write a strong detailed letter for you, or will it be vague? Same goes for Prof 1, what can he really say other than "random cat took two of my classes and got good grades, and often visited me at office hours to ask more questions"? Both are not the strongest contributions, so one question to ask is which one better rounds out your profile, given the other letters.

Bottom line: only your department can answer this question. You will gain very little from knowing what is (im)possible at other schools/fields, as your school can have its own opinions and it's not bound by what others may choose to do.

The answer to all of that is "it depends." The only thing that matters is what your advisor actually does, not what "usually" happens with other advisors at other schools. These things also partly depend on school culture and on individual preferences. You also need different levels of attention and input at different stages of your career. I know some people who meet with their advisor maybe once a semester, and others who have a weekly meeting. Advisors whose door is always open and ones that you always have to schedule a meeting with. I know some who are great with emails and others that e.g. are easier to find over the phone. Also some who encourage their students to talk to others, and some that want you to only talk to them. My advice is that it's not very useful to ask about generalities, and instead it's better to (1) figure out what you want, and (2) find out how the potential advisors you are considering operate, and decide whether that is right for you. You learn that by talking to each person's current and past students (and directly to them as well, obviously). You can also learn quite a bit from reading dissertation acknowledgements. This may be hard to do before you even apply, though you can try. It's much easier to learn this information after you've been admitted, when everyone will be more forthcoming.

Ah, that is a good question. What are the terms of your funding? I think it's less likely that they will kick you out, and more likely that they will stop funding you if you take a lot of courses in another field without the department's approval and without a clear reason to do so, prolonging your time to graduation. It seems to me that what you'll need to do is come up with a course plan that is acceptable to your future advisor and has his/her support. If it's obvious that it will lengthen your time to graduation and this may lead to funding trouble, you'll want to clarify that early. But it's probably not something you can seriously pursue right now, until you identify an advisor and come up with a plan that really justifies why you need all these extra courses. Also FWIW part of grad school is teaching yourself things that aren't offered in classes. It may be the case that instead of taking lots of classes outside your department, you'll need to pick up some books and learn how to do things yourself.

Is there any concrete reason for this concern? Like someone who has left under similar circumstances, or a professor mentioning in passing that you're not taking enough courses in the department and that's a problem? Because it really sounds like you are worried about something that is a non-issue. Also making plans for what might happen three years from now, which I can tell you has a way of shifting with time. I assume that when you were admitted, you had at least one potential advisor in mind. Unless your interests have shifted a great deal between being admitted and starting the program, I would assume that this potential advisor's interests are roughly aligned with yours. Is there any reason to think that this potential advisor will oppose the study plan you have in mind?

Schools tend to have a grace period for LORs. They don't usually start reviewing applications until some time after the deadline has passed, and they know students can't control when professors submit their letters. As long as the letters arrive before the schools actually start reading the applications (which I would bet is in at least another week, maybe two), you should be fine.

Visits are super helpful and absolutely can cause one to change their mind about school preferences. I am glad your visit did all that for you. The reason we tend to say this is less helpful before submitting the applications is precisely what you hinted at -- it's expensive and time consuming. Not all schools will go out of their way the way that your programs have (my PhD school, for example, would allow students to visit before applying, but they are pretty much left on their own to figure things out). After you're admitted, schools will often cover the cost of your visit, or share with other schools, so costs are much lower to the student. You can then concentrate on visiting schools that are actual options -- namely, ones that admitted you. But yes, it's definitely informative to also go earlier, if you have the chance. I think the main point we usually try to convey is that it's not necessary, much like scoring at the very top percentile in the GRE, having a perfect GPA, and having publications all are nice but not necessary. Like all else, things depend and change across fields, among other things, so it's very hard to give general advice without knowing the specifics of each case. In your case, I suspect that we don't get that many kinesiology students here on the board, so our knowledge is limited at best. We can only tell you what happens in our fields based on our knowledge, and (like anything else in life) you need to decide what to do with that information.

I can't tell you what to do, but if it were me I would wait and see what the other lab is like. I don't really appreciate being pressured into a decision like that. If the PI is doing this now, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to manipulate things to get his way in other places down the line as well, and at some point this may have dangerous consequences of different kinds that I'll leave up to your imagination because without knowing more it's hard to guess if/what it could be. That said, is there a way to play the system a little and just tell this PI you are interested but at the moment can't commit to anything because you have to do a second rotation? Tell him you are interested in this paper and in his lab, but maybe it's best to put things off another semester, until you'll have the time to devote to this lab and project? If that's doable, it might be a good way to go in case this does end up being the lab you want to choose. But in the grand scheme of things, choosing one high-impact paper doesn't seem worth it to me if it leads to five years of inadequacy or manipulation at a lab that's not the best choice for you (but again, that's not something we know, you have the best knowledge about how likely that is to be the case). Another related question is about both PIs' reputations and placement records, how often students in their labs publish, etc. This decision needs to be placed in the context of the work you'll do in the next 5ish years of your PhD program, and in the context of the work you'll want to do once you graduate.

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Several thoughts, all on the practical side. First, throughout this, it's important for you to remember that your committee supports you and wants you to pass. So, it's a question of how best to get there. Second, I can understand your advisor's concerns about this upcoming exam because I assume that there would be administrative trouble if you were to fail that could perhaps be avoided if they ask for accommodation beforehand. It wouldn't surprise me if it's significantly easier to ask now than to try and fix the problem after it happens (*if* it happens!). To me, worrying about this is part of your advisor's caring for you and wanting you to pass. Third, is there an official at your school who is in charge of helping in cases like these? The disabilities office or somewhere else? You cannot possibly be the first person to deal with issues like these. Maybe your therapists can intervene and help. I think an important question is: what do you want? I think you need to care less about what the rules say and what anyone else would think, and see about doing what's best for you in this situation. If there is something you could do that wouldn't cause this anxiety, wouldn't it be good? For example, is it possible to do a low key "practice exam" (if that would help)? Or, getting through the questions in writing first? Or completely replacing the oral exam with a written one? And finally, please take care of yourself. Your health is the most important thing.

I should probably note that one of my letter writers was (academically) young at the time and had never written a letter for anyone applying to North American schools. Once I found that book, I figured it wouldn't hurt to just send it along with my other materials to all my letter writers.

It means exactly what it says. Sounds like at the deadline for expressing interest is on Thursday and therefore a decision can't be made before then. I don't think you need to do anything now. I would just write back to thank the professor, and express again my excitement and enthusiasm at the prospect of getting this position, and how much I look forward to hearing from her on Thursday.

I know it's hard not to read into things, but if I didn't have your commentary above, I'd take this remark to be 100% positive. Your research advisor is at another university and hence at least somewhat less involved than if s/he had been right there; your current academic advisor is outside your field, and is hence recommending that you get advice from someone within your field (albeit one who has different research interests than yours) to make sure the school does its best to support your application. I would leave it exactly there. If the entire department wants to get behind your application, that is great news and entirely positive, not anything to worry or feel uncomfortable about. The fact that the person you're told to speak with has different interests than yours doesn't mean they don't have a lot of relevant insight that could help you write a better targeted application, or that he doesn't have connections he could use to help get you into the schools you want to go to. And yes, as suggested above me, if he is willing to read and comment on any of your application materials, that would be great news for you. Your application will most certainly be read by non-specialists on the adcoms at the schools you'll apply to, so getting a non-specialist to read your essays can only help improve them and make them accessible to the kind of audience you want to target.

In the "google is your friend" spirit, I would suggest visiting the "people" pages of the departments you are planning to apply for. Specifically, look for the graduate students, and see if you can identify some who are 1-2 years. At least some will have websites, and those who have websites tend to have CVs posted on them as well. That should give you a good idea of what information the CVs of beginning students in your field tend to contain, how they are formatted, and more importantly, what the profiles of those who've successfully gotten into the schools you're interested in look like.

I've heard about this too, as in that North American professors know that their European colleagues tend to be more reserved. But yes, when I was applying to grad school I supplied all of my letter writers with an instructions sheet from some book (can't remember which) that directly addressed that issue and had some specific ideas for how to convert a "European style" letter into a "North American style" one.

People definitely get in without having three strong letters. Usually a good goal is to have two strong ones, so you demonstrate that you've been able to establish successful relationships with more than just one person (=you're not a fluke) and they are very supportive. In that case, I've heard it said that having one just-ok letter won't hurt you. However, that doesn't always happen; sometimes you have one very strong and two less strong letters. From where you are standing now, I think there is just no point in worrying about it. You get the best letters that you can, and you work on the other parts of the application that you can control. I don't think it will lead to immediate rejection or anything remotely resembling near that. If you do end up with an outcome that is not as you had hoped for, then you will probably want to debrief and think about your application as a whole, and one aspect you might be able to improve is building a closer relationship with a second professor and obtaining a stronger letter. None of that is worth spending any time worrying about now, though!

It depends on the situation. For the looking young problem, the best solution I know is to dress the part. Wear slacks and a nice button-down shirt, not jeans and a T-shirt, to set yourself apart from your students. Keep in mind that students will just assume that the person at the front of the room has authority and knows what they're talking about, even if you don't feel particularly authoritative. Re: anxiety, that's really something that improves with time, as you do it more. I don't really know of a good way to "make it go away" other than just repeated exposure. If it's any help, I distinctly remember as a first-year undergrad getting nervous and sweaty from the thought of raising my hand in recitation (which I didn't, for several years after that). Now I teach in front of large auditoriums and give talks without worrying about it too much. What I did was recognize that if I wanted to be an academic then teaching and presentations were inevitable, and I began to seek out opportunities to present, preferably in low-key environments such as friendly reading groups and small workshops. With time you get used to it and worry less. Re: getting people to shut up, it's useful to create a sudden noise to get everyone's attention. I am not a fan of the "wait until everyone quiets down" strategy because that way you relinquish control to the audience and that can go wrong. As for what to do if a few people are talking while you speak, it kind of depends. Sometimes you just ignore it, or you try and catch their gaze to make it clear that you hear them. If you can, you can walk over and stand near them, which also usually gets the point across. Or you make a general remark about how easily sound carries from the back of the class to the front, or you single those people out and ask them to stop. I am for the non-verbal methods as much as possible, where you don't break your stride and still try and get your point across, so as much as possible not letting them disrupt the rest of the class. It's also good not to expect total silence for the entire lecture, because that's just hard for people. If you integrate small group assignments where they can move around a bit and talk, that helps them sit quietly for the parts where you want to talk and for them to just listen. You learn these things with time, and it might not be perfect from the get-go. That's normal. Remember that the students don't know what you had planned and are not in your head, so if you don't announce you made a mistake, they will probably just assume you meant to do or say whatever you did or said. Move on and don't apologize or stop. If you come in with what looks like a clear lesson plan, people really do just assume that the authority figure up front did it all on purpose. If you identify a repeating issue, then ask more experienced teachers how to deal with it.

They will definitely introduce me if they are talking to someone who I don't know (or they think I don't know) and I walk over. They have also offered to introduce me to anyone I want, if we are all there at the same place at the same time (i.e. they will send an email before big conferences saying roughly "if there is anyone you want to be introduced to and I can help, let me know and we'll make it happen"). Mostly, I'll get a coffee or lunch with them to catch up but otherwise we don't always hang out in the same circles, so I guess that means they leave me alone quite a bit. They do come over (or email) to ask how my presentation(s) went and whether I got good questions. That's a good opportunity for me to ask about the identity of question-askers I didn't know and get another chance for an introduction. Honestly the best thing they do is cite me in their talks and point me out if I am in the audience. That tends to be more effective than any individual introduction.

Also, this: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1047