Alyanumbers

Uhhhh, see a different therapist. This sounds quite serious, and I'm a little shocked at how casually she's treating it.

I JUST WANT TO GET IN!

Not so much what makes me unique, as much as "Random facts about Alyanumbers":

My birthday is on Valentine's day. I always whine about it.

I was named for a song.

I'm Egyptian, but my first language is French. My wonderful brother taught me to read and write in it when I was 3.

We didn't have TV when I was little. It was probably the biggest reason I read so much.

Like many here, I am a synaesthete.

I can belly-dance.

My grandfather, all his brothers, my father and several other members of my family have gone to jail for political reasons. I grew up hearing stories about jail visits. My brother and father have recently been arrested in a protest.

When I was 15, I spoke English with a British accent, because most of my spoken English came from Beatles songs.

I've switched educational systems 3 times already (French to Egyptian, then back, then back again), and I haven't even graduated college yet! If I get into grad school, whether in the UK or US, it'll be the third system I experience. (Although, having taking the SAT 5 years ago, and now the GRE, I have had some experience with the American system, I guess.)

I was among the top 10% in high school. My first year of college, I failed exactly half my classes. I still haven't really figured out why.

I have ADD induced by bipolar disorder, plus a bit of a panic disorder as a tasty side dish. There are 4 professors at my u/g who know what is up, because I have had many classes with them and the long period of medication tweaking impacted my performance to a degree, necessitating disclosure to avoid the "slacker" label. I'm under control and registered with my u/g's disability services now, and I've been lucky in that the professors I've told have been discreet and supportive.

I totally agree with warpspeed in regards to the "getting shit together" concern. I have struggled with these conditions for years but was too damn stubborn to seek help. I was 29 and suffered a nervous breakdown before I started treatment. So now I have 29 years of nothing, then WHAM! multiple diagnoses, constant medication tweaks, frequent doctor visits, etc. starting halfway through my junior year. It looks shady to ME, and I'm the one experiencing it. I also agree on the level of disclosure; I personally intend to avoid talking about the bipolar completely and will refer to it as a "medical condition" (which it is) that causes ADD-like symptoms (which it does) even after admission. As for past failures affecting future performance, as long as your last 60 hours (or jr/sr years) shows generally high marks, I don't think you have much to be concerned about.

That said, one of the programs I'm applying to is here at my u/g. Even though 4 of the profs that will I would be working with here know about my condition, I'm still not going to actively disclose it to this or any other program during the application process. While it's true that ADA protects me from discrimination and rejection based solely on my conditions, I know that there will be at least some degree of personal biases toward the mentally impaired that will leach into the process and that might cause adcoms to look for other minor flaws to justify a rejection. As much as attitudes toward the mentally impaired have changed in the last few decades, there is still a long way to go in educating others and debunking some of the stigma that mental conditions carry.

I know this doesn't exactly answer your question, but I just wanted to lend support to a fellow sufferer and share how I'm handling it as I apply. Best of luck and Happy New Year!

Piet Hein says it's good in a situation like this to toss a coin.

A PSYCHOLOGICAL TIP
Whenever you're called on to make up your mind,
and you're hampered by not having any,
the best way to solve the dilemma, you'll find,
is simply by spinning a penny.
No -- not so that chance shall decide the affair
while you're passively standing there moping;
but the moment the penny is up in the air,
you suddenly know what you're hoping.

Wow...you're kidding, right?

Guys, I'm screwed.

I'm just wondering how you managed to spend $6000 on applications, given that each application costs around $100-150, that would be 40-60 schools you applied to.

Agreed! That is a lovely book. I read it when I'm sad, and it always helps me feel better.

I love that book. Enjoy!

As usual, these days it's mainly fiction, linguistics, cognitive-science, memoirs, and more YA books. I just finished 'An Anthropologist on Mars' by Oliver Sacks (fascinating!), and am currently working on the very amusing 'My Year of Meats' by Ruth L. Ozeki.

Which US ivy is it? I can't tell you how they compare unless I know which school it is...

My favorite quote when I was going through the application process was, "you know you can make more money in the long run if you stay here." Keep in mind this was a state agency and the only way to make more money would be to go private sector. He wasn't sure what to make of my, "it's not about the money; it's about achieving a goal."


Hilarious, to be sure, but I'm hoping you meant "flaunt" and "End scene."

people aren't saying the rudest things. they aren't being offensive either. i think people who seem rude/offensive are usually those not familiar with the pros of PhD and the good things it brings. they focus on how long it takes to get a degree, and how excruciating it is to go through certain classes.

personally, my family, friends and professors have taken my decision to get a PhD very positively. i've also come across some (friends) who think going for a PhD is a waste of time. meh.

God, you are spoilt by choice.

Based on the questions you ask and the way you ask them, I think you already made up your mind and just need reassurance. It is a very serious decision that you have to make on your own. Personally, I'd go for the USA. But that's 'personally'.

I saw that you were the most recent poster in this thread, and as I was opening it up I was (jokingly) thinking, "I bet he's reading stuff about vampires and darkness, or maybe Bach. Vampires love toccatas and fugues."
Well, I was half-right.

Ah, well even the Northeastern U.S. isn't going to be as sunny as Egypt, especially in the winter: first of all, the entire region is cloudier and far more prone to precipitation; and second, it's farther enough north that the summer days will be considerably longer and the winter ones likewise shorter. So SAD might be a legitimate concern. Some people are more susceptible to it than others, though, and the good news is that there are a lot of things you can do starting in the autumn to ward it off. Exercise, light therapy, and taking Vitamin D can all be major sources of help. (Anti-SAD lights aren't cheap [typically at least $100], but your student medical insurance might cover the expense.) If you go to the U.S., I'd say monitor yourself and see how you're feeling in October and November; if the relative lack of light is getting to you, make an anti-SAD plan and stick to it.

The UK is even farther north. England is lovely, and its climate is much more temperate than that of the Northeast; but it's very rainy (often year-round) and the winter days are short enough there that if you do end up there, I'd suggest being proactive and investing in a light-box early on, then start using it daily in mid-October or so. Then keep it up - that should preclude the possibility of an incapacitating case of SAD.

At any rate, SAD is very seldom as serious as major depression, and by March or April it goes away!

*Looks at transcript* "Huh, Cairo University? Is that even a real school? We have no idea how strict or lenient their grading system is, but her GPA isn't that high and her record is spotty. Graduated in 5 years. Her GRE scores are average, too." *Looks at SoP* "She says she wants to study contemporary Egyptian lit, but she barely passed her Arabic courses... And what is this crap about France in the 60s? We have like 10 other applicants who want to study that!" *Sees LoRs* "Who ARE these people?!" *And now for the writing sample* "I... I have no idea. What is she even talking about?"

Hi Squiddles, welcome!

I graduated a year early but then spent a year working on a research project. This gave me the time to contemplate what I really wanted to do and prepare myself for the application season. Applications can really take a lot out of you, and it may be hard to give them your best attention if graduating a year early (of course, it completely depends on how much you can handle!)

I don't think grad schools will look at you negatively because you are young. The content of your application is what counts. I would approach this question from a more personal matter. Are YOU ready? Do YOU know what you want? If you are positive that you want to get to grad school asap, then go for it. It's up to you.

I am very happy with my decision to graduate early and then take a year doing research. I have centered myself in this past year and am ready to set out to do what I want. I would suggest it to anybody. It seems like a lot of applicants now take a gap year or two. You are in an interesting situation in that, if you decide to take a year, you will still be entering grad school "on time."

In regard to your academic path, decide what you want to do. Read publications from professors you might want to work with. (FYI, extracurriculars aren't that important in a PhD application)
In regard to your personal path, please understand that there is no rush to go to grad school. It's a huge commitment, so make sure it is what you really want, especially after only three years of college!

Good luck : )

I somewhat agree with the original post, but I don't think it has to be so all or nothing. Maybe the OP just got nothing out of a lot of the advice because he/she did his/her research so well. But, for example, there are so many posts asking "OMG I got a 710 on the verbal, should I retake it for a 790 which is what I HAVE to get to get into school X?" And those people are always given the best advice: that mincing scores and obsessing about numbers will not make a better application. And I think that is the best advice, not just anecdotal, uncorroborated evidence of which we will never know what the right answer is. It's true. Does anyone else disagree? I don't think anyone would. I think there are some basic things that are just true such as the above example. Some people need to be told that. Yes they could get that answer from a faculty member, but we are all worried about bothering faculty with too many questions since they are writing our LoRs for us, and it's just so much easier to ask a forum than a faculty member.

As for other more esoteric questions about applications, no, we can't know their answers. People always say "take this with a grain of salt" or "I don't serve on an adcomm so I'm not sure..." and I think everyone keeps this in mind, or at least should. I never trust a post to be the end all be all of what to do about an application. I know it's an opinion. And our discussing these things is not to find out the truth, but to creatively brainstorm, to put ourselves in the place of an adcomm so that we can visualize a better application. I think it's a very functional and helpful way to get through the application process.

(clarity)

The object of the game is to get as drunk as possible so you don't really care once the rejection e-mails start to roll in.

Take a drink every time...

A science program shows up, and you remember that you are in the humanities.

Someone posts an "Other" about a mass e-mail.
...two drinks if you received that e-mail as well.

A school that you have applied to shows up, and even though it's not your program your heart skips a beat.

A school that you have applied to shows up, and even though it's not your program you check your e-mail/voice mail on reflex.

A school that you have applied to shows up, and even though it's not your program you run to your mailbox to check for snail mail.
...two drinks if it's Sunday.

A program that you have applied to shows up as a rejection, you have no new e-mails, and you just get even more nervous.

A program that you have applied to shows up as an acceptance, you have no new e-mails, and you want to die inside.

You bookmarked the RSS feed for just the programs you applied to.

You bookmarked the RSS feed for programs you wish you had applied to, so you can torture yourself if you Would Have Known earlier.

Someone posts a rejection with a note expressing bitterness.
...Two drinks if it's, "Their loss."

Someone posts that they received a notification a program is accepting only one applicant this year.

Someone posts a result from a program without rolling admissions whose deadline has not yet passed.

There is a forum post asking, "Who posted this result?"

There is a results search listing that asks, "Who posted this result?"
...Two drinks if it asks for GRE and GPA.

You are waitlisted at a program, and someone posts they were accepted there but are turning it down.

Someone posts a result for a subject you have never heard of.

Someone posts a result for a subject you are fairly sure does not actually exist.

Happy Holidays to all this year's applicants!

XOXO,
Sparky

Well you got in after all!! Hope we are all as lucky.

My life last December, January and February:

Everyone: I'm sure you'll get in somewhere.

Me: Actually, admissions suck. Please tell me that even if I don't get in, it doesn't make me a bad person and it doesn't mean I'm stupid.

Everyone: I'm sure you'll get in!

Me: No! Listen! What I need to hear is, even if I don't get in, that doesn't mean I'm stupid and a complete failure at life! Please! I'm begging you! That's all I need to hear!

Everyone: But surely you'll get in.

Throughout the restless submission of application after application, I eagerly anticipated the completion of my side of the arrangement. Now that said time has come, I am going absolutely insane.

I'm not a worrier, at least under normal circumstances. However, visions of graduate school seem to have transformed me into the most paranoid of them all. My brain constantly cycles through potential problems...

There are days when I'm confident I'll get in to at least one of HYP. Then there are days when I don't think I'll get in anywhere.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this. How are you going to cope? This has only just begun, we're a good month and a half from serious movement.

Any grand solutions? I want to disappear and hike/travel, but I fear being away from my computer in case something goes wrong.

". . . these forums are simply evidence of our very human impulse to understand what's beyond our control." [i don't know how to quote people on this forum, but this is from lifealive's post two posts up.]

A legitimately profound statement--doubly impressive seeing how shallow the subject matter can often seem.