MoJingly

Emailing potential advisers is not as much about "getting in" as it is "finding the right fit." You're doing a great job reaching out, so keep doing it. If you apply and end up getting in to a few places, you will have your interaction with your professors of interest to help you make your decision. Since you haven't applied yet, perhaps "are you taking students for my entering year" is not necessary. Maybe more along the lines of "do you have any suggestions for me as I move forward in this process, or insights into your institution?" (not phrased that well, but you get the idea). That might prevent them from saying, "I have no say in admissions" and prompt them to give you helpful information. Good luck!

Yup, and there are even differences in format and naming between different departments within the same school.

My dissertation project is at a stand still because I'm waiting for some collaborators to get their stuff together. I'm starting to put a little more pressure on, and now my PI is getting involved, because this is starting to go on a little too long. It's frustrating!

I think it varies by program. I'm in the hard sciences and I can say that most people wear jeans daily. I never see any in sweatpants or yoga pants. I think the safe bet is the think, "would I be willing to run into somebody important in this outfit?" We are entering the professional arena... time to dress like it.

All of the water OUTSIDE my house this winter decided that it wanted to come INSIDE. Seriously. Water damage sucks. It looks like I'm going to be sawing through my bathroom ceiling this week. Again.

Maybe the females on here will sympathize (sorry boys), but MY FEMININE INNARDS HATE ME TODAY ARRRRRGH

I was going to say the same thing. OP, I had the same situation with a roommate. I eventually became seriously crotchety and now, three years later, they are getting married and she laughed and said, "ha! you predicted it!" Shoot me. I just missed my friend. I don't have any good advice. But I would seriously tell her that she can't have him over that often. That's ridiculous. Rooting for you.

Yes! This is cathartic! Let it out!

Rabbits are great pets. I have two free-range bunnies that hop around my living room. They are litter trained. They can be very destructive, though, and I have replaced lots of wires/woodworking/remotes. I think I finally have the place rabbit-proofed enough that I don't have to worry anymore. But, if you rent, free-range bunnies might not be a great idea. (I own). Rabbits were a great solution for me, and it's impossible to have a bad day with a bunny hopping around the living room, or two bunnies cuddling together in front of the tv. They are becoming quite popular as house pets; if this is something that appeals to you, check out the forums at binkybunny.com.

I'm crotchety today. I need to vent. You don't even have to reply to these things or read them. But I just... gotta... 1. I have been getting phone calls to my desk phone from some fax machine at a nearby hospital. Like... 10 in a row. Multiple times a day. My voicemail box keeps getting full. I called IT here and they can't do anything. I called the delinquent hospital FOUR times and talked to their IT but it keeps happening. About to change my number. 2. My lab mates mumble quietly when they try to have a conversation with you but PHONE conversations are LOUD and last FOREVER. I'm trying to write a manuscript and somebody is walking around the lab on the phone. But seriously, even the mumbling thing gets old. ENUNCIATE!! 3. I submitted a grant about 6 months ago, and should have heard by now, but then the government shut down. And good LORD I GOTSTA KNOW! 4. The fridge in my lab (for human food) stinks. And my desk is right next to it. And every time somebody opens it I want to gag. And I can't clean it anymore because I SWEAR THERE IS NOTHING IN THERE. 5. I spent $160 this morning to have somebody fix my water heater and he doesn't think he successfully fixed it. ... I feel better. Seriously, I like grad school, but it's just one of those days. next?

Loric, I had a similar phone call from a program that I applied to. After my interview, they were the last program to give me an answer. After calling and emailing for weeks and only getting the "we-will-let-you-know-in-a-few-days" response, I started getting really frustrated. The deadline to accept was close (I felt weird accepting one offer without knowing all the options), so I called one last time and said I needed an answer. They said, "we have some serious doubts about your ability to succeed in this program since your background is so different. Can you please write a few more essays answering A, B, C, and D to help us in our decision?" I got even more frustrated and just said no. People have asked me recently what I would have done for that year if I had not gotten into grad school. Honestly, I don't think I ever had a plan!

This happened to me too. My one recommender was ignoring ALL of my communication (phone calls, emails, etc). I eventually went into his office and duck taped a large piece of paper onto his computer that said "I need your letter!" (albeit with nicer phrasing). It worked.

Just a quick reply to share my favorite place to lurk while eating lunch: http://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,29894.0.html This is a forum on the Chronicle about horrible student emails. Mostly they're just funny, but there's some good advice on how to deal with these emails as well.

This is correct. I did a postbac program after I graduated because I wanted to pick up some prerequisite classes for med school. I was technically in the system as a grad student, but I was taking just the normal undergraduate classes. In most post-bac premed programs, you have to fund yourself. I don't think there is a consensus about the numbers of C's.

I can't even imagine that! Go you!! I can barely focus enough to take a final when I have a head cold

Yeah, after I posted that I figured that was what you meant :-)

Also, in my both of the programs I have been in (I transferred after my first year), the VAST majority of the students were already married.

Your comments tend to make me nervous because I think you contradict yourself a lot. You mention that you really want to go to grad school because you feel like it's a good fit for you, then you say it was because you couldn't find a job, and then you say it's to meet a guy. We can't dissuade you from going to grad school if the latter is your goal, but just know that this won't be the goal of the majority of people. People on this site (including me) may have met their SO in grad school, but I can almost guarantee that none of us went to grad school with that goal in mind, or were even actively looking when it happened.

Well, if you only want to stay married "a little while" then it's not complicated. If you want to stay married for life, then it can most definitely be complicated, especially when balancing careers. I think that's what most are getting at. It will be even more complicated if you want to marry within your department (which you mentioned), since your two-body problem will be complicated by the fact that you both have the same training. Of course, complicated does not mean impossible, and complicated doesn't even necessarily mean improbable.

Oh goodness, yes. I'm a good writer, but I'm slow. Practice helps a lot, just like SocGirl said. Most people suggest to write a little every day, and then you always have snippets to edit/add/use. (Who actually does that, I don't know). I find it helpful to start way before the deadline. I have to let things ferment in my brain a bit. The further I get into grad school, though, the less time I have and (thankfully) need. Once you write a few abstracts, or a few grants, you get the format and the language down, and things become easier.

You know, the older you get, the younger 25 feels. Trust me. Do you also know what attracts a lot of men? Independence and self-sufficiency. I always lived my life with the belief that I would eventually meet someone. Until then I just said I would hold the line and focus on my career/school. In the meantime I became independent, bought a house, and learned how to be happy just by myself. My suggestion is to focus on YOU... things come around pretty quickly when you have all your stuff figured out.

He was in my program. I have since then changed programs, so that makes it easier (I initially felt weird dating within the program).

Just to add another perspective: When I started grad school I had never been in a real relationship, and school/work of course were my priority and I figured that they would remain that way. Well, my first year I met another grad student, and we have been dating for almost three years. Suddenly I have a different perspective, and it is more important to me to have a life/work balance, especially down the road when we look toward marriage and kids. You might have a different outlook now than you will in the future. Love can change things quite dramatically.

Agreed. I didn't have any publications and got in, and most of my friends in this hospital-based grad school were the same way.

I just passed mine last week, but we just have an oral exam in front of our committees. I found myself studying really obscure things because I kept thinking, "but what if they ask me THAT?!" A lot of those things we never even touched on. I think a good place to start (which I read somewhere and ended up doing), is to try to think of the things they could ask you that would be embarrassing not to have a answer for. For me, that included things like "what does that acronym stand for?" or "What kind of filter are you using, and what does that mean?" I have been to all too many presentations where a really simple question confuses the student, and it is hard to take them that seriously after that. But most importantly, try to relax. I kept reminding myself that even though my formal studying started a few months ago (I think probably 2 in total?) I had really been preparing ever since I started grad school. Good Luck!!