UnlikelyGrad

For some reason when I read this I thought: "There's no place like grad school. There's no place like grad school..."

I had my oldest son as an undergrad. It was doable, but there were issues: I had to postpone some of my labs (organic solvents + pregnancy = nono), and I kept falling asleep in any lecture where the professor darkened the room to use an overhead projector. I agree with what long_term_lurker said about preparing as much as possible before you actually get pregnant, but I'd add one thing to his list: get in shape. Because the better shape you are in, the better your pregnancy and delivery will be. Start eating well before the pregnancy, too. If I were in your shoes I would definitely have a baby in grad school. (In my case, not until I was writing my dissertation though--because my research is done at sea, and being at sea while pregnant sounds like a disaster to me.)

I don't know if the OP said that the don't offer geology classes, rather that they didn't offer geology as a major. I'm in a geochemistry program and there are lots of folks who come in with chemistry degrees. I had a couple of intro geology classes as an undergrad, but many of my cohort hadn't even had that. The chem folks are all required to take some remedial classes (mineralogy and petrology at a minimum), and they tend to do pretty well. A solid knowledge of chemistry (esp. inorganic) is really helpful for mineralogy stuff--you have to learn about symmetry classes, crystal structures, etc. in inorganic. One of my professors told me: "It's easier to make a chemist into a geologist than it is to make a geologist into a chemist." And it's true.

What sort of arts? There are a number of art museums, some great theater opportunities, etc. Plus, you're only ~1 hr from San Francisco which has TONS of museums etc. If I were you I'd check out Santa Clara (just west of San Jose) as a reasonably cheap place to live. You should get a free bus pass as a student--unless things have changed in the last three years--and if you're close to El Camino Real, you can take the 522 Express bus which drops you off a couple of blocks north of campus. I agree with dmaurath that the area just south of SJSU is terrible. The area around Japantown (~4th and Taylor) is a lot nicer while still being close to campus. I don't know how cheap it is, though. Also, it's pretty close to the airport so noise may be an issue.

Control freaks (which many abusers are) don't always react rationally when their control is yanked away. So do be cautious. I hear you. Hang in there! And, like I said, feel free to contact me if you ever need to talk--I know I always felt better after talking to someone who's BTDT. BTW, good books if you're dealing with abusers: "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft and "Controlling People" by Patricia Evans. The first is my favorite.

Poor Dr. Orpheus. I certainly understand the manipulative, emotionally abusive jerk-of-a-husband thing. I told mine I was filing for divorce by having him served with papers--at which point I had already moved out. Mine also did his best to sabotage my higher education. It's been tough since the divorce, there's no doubt about it, but at least he's not there yapping at me and demanding WE HAVE TO TALK, NOW...about subjects he didn't want to discuss at all until I had a major project due, he's not stopping me from going into lab when I need to go in at odd hours, etc. He still tries to make life as tough as possible (we have kids and are forced to interact) and I have to admit, sometimes I'm only keepin' on because HE WANTS TO MAKE ME QUIT, DAMMIT. My situation is different from yours in that I ended up in a good program (at great personal cost to myself, but that's another story) and I have a super-supportive advisor. My research has been my sanity-saver during the last few years. How easy would it be for you to move? (I don't know if you have kids or not--that may be a crucial factor in this equation.) And how will he react when he finds out you're filing for divorce--would it be safer for you to be in another city? When you're dealing with abuse, you always need to have a safety plan in place. If you feel that this is too much info to give in an open forum, feel free to send me a private message.

I had a friend-of-a-friend scope out potential places for me. But before I even started that, I contacted a student in my department-to-be to ask where the good and bad areas of town were. That was extremely helpful in terms of narrowing down locations.

No, you don't "have" to go. My advisor took on a student last fall who decided to defer for a year. Then last semester the student emailed to say she wasn't coming.

Ha! So true. Those people used to freak me out too, especially when I was applying. Then I noticed the difference between where they were applying and where I was applying...their school lists were all like, "Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Berkeley, Caltech, and MIT"...in which case, 0.01 might matter. Everywhere else, not so much. I'm currently attending a school ranked in the 20's for earth sciences and I had no trouble getting in. Have you thought about what sort of schools you might apply to? Also: environmental studies? Come over to the earth sciences forum; you'll make some friends who can give more specific advice.

Also keep in mind that GPA is not the thing adcomms weight the highest--it's the letters of recommendation and experience in your field that really make you shine. So yes, the continuing ed is crucial (since that will probably be the source for at least some of your LoRs--at least it was for me). Ooh, and I just re-read your original post and saw that you have a publication. That is GREAT! I think you'll do fine. (This is where most people tell you to relax, but I'm not stupid. I know it's impossible to relax until you have an acceptance letter in your hand.)

I flamed out of my first (big-name) school...far worse than you did, too. My GPA afterwards was good but not stellar (~3.6) Most admissions officers didn't care about the first school. As one person I know who's involved with adcomms put it: "Lots of people do dumb stuff when they're really young. You aren't really young. We care what you've done since." I would agree with emmm that they'll probably weight your most recent work the highest.

The people who give reviews on "Rate My Professor" tend to be people who are pissed because they do poorly in class. But that can be (and usually is) more of a reflection on them than the prof. For example, I met my first research advisor (SL) while taking his class. It was a tough class. I did fantastically but no one else in the class did. Afterwards, someone wrote him a review: "The only way to succeed is to kiss his ass." What they meant: "UnlikelyGrad was the only one who did well, probably because she spent all that time in office hours." Yep. That really reflects on his teaching ability, doesn't it? (I would have rated him 4/5 stars.) He was a terrific mentor, btw.

Is this for the full program? Everyone in my department starts out as a TA, but then they get into RAs their second or third year.

I mostly know academia... Why not try approaching environmental microbio from an environmental point of view? My university has a couple of folks in the Env Eng department who do microbio, and they really do take anyone. I know several other universities at which this is true too.

You can even add the mileage credit retroactively. When I flew to visit MyU, they booked me on Frontier, an airline that I'd never flown before, one that wasn't partnered with anyone I had an account with. When I decided to go to MyU I figured that Frontier would be a convenient airline to fly (they're based in Denver) so I opened a frequent flyer account with them and added my visitation trip miles retroactively.

I don't know about the geophysics program but most earth science programs at Mines are sloooow to send out acceptances.

One thing my dad told me to do (which I am grateful for) was to find about about the support staff. A good admin is invaluable; you would not believe how much paperwork is necessary to do a Ph.D. so it's nice to know there's someone who will help you through the process. Also, who fixes the equipment and how fast/good are they? I visited one school with some pretty snazzy new equipment. Trouble was, it was almost always out of commission--it would for for a week or so, then it would go back down for weeks at a time. Maintenance was performed by "the university" which never made it a priority. My department has a dedicated full-time equipment repair guy. He keeps everything running like clockwork (we do sometimes have to wait for parts to show up, but he diagnoses the problem very quickly and fixes stuff ASAP). He helps us machine/build specialized stuff for our research. He is a very cool guy without whom I would be progressing at a glacial pace!

I've been part of the club for a while now...in my 3rd year of a PhD program and turning 40 in 2 days. I have four kids, 10 to 19 (so yes, I know how young adults speak). Going back to school after ~15 years of SAHM-hood was not as hard as I thought. In fact, as far as coursework goes I generally beat the pants off of the younger folks since I was more disciplined/ready to do the work. I haven't had a baby in grad school (though I did in UG and it was do-able), but at least two women I know have done it. One was just writing her dissertation, but the other was actively doing research. Somehow it worked out for both of them--they've both graduated in the last year. I have gone through a nasty (and I do mean really nasty) divorce during my grad school years. It's been supposedly "final" for 8 months but the legal issues are still going on and I foresee this continuing for at least another year!! Joy!! The point is this: you never know what will hit you as a student. You have to be ready for anything. That's true whether you have kids or not, are married or not. I have friends in my cohort who have had parents die without warning, needed surgery that kept them off their feet for a couple of months, you name it. Life is hard. You have to learn to deal with it.

Definitely institutional--from what I've heard anecdotally, it's split fairly evenly between monthly and bimonthly. MyU is bimonthly.

We're guaranteed funding for 5 years here at MyU, but that usually means "TA if your advisor has no grants"...

Hey, misery loves company. I've been here for ~3 years now...

Hey, why leave? We have an official section for grad students.

I don't know about your university, but at mine, that's illegal. You're not supposed to date someone you supervise or even someone you might supervise in the future. Let's say you aren't caught, though, that you can "get away with" the relationship; think about what sort of relationship it would be. If you ever decide that it isn't working, you will trapped. You'll be afraid to tell your advisor that you want out because of the way he might take the rejection. And even if you are brave enough to say something and he does take it well, it's gonna be incredibly awkward working together after you've split up. It's just a very, very bad idea.

How long has it been since you got your Master's degree? Taking some classes right before I applied helped adcomms see I was still up to academics, even though I was "old."

Oooh. The CMORE building is awesome. I would love to work there. Haha, yes. It's screwing up everyone's plans. Which is too bad because it's an amazing ship. And it's not just the ship...it's the program. Because of the constancy of the work that's done at station ALOHA, you can get all sorts of historical and real-time data. Dr. Hand-Waver and I went out and just did our own thing while all of the HOT folks handled temperature, salinity, etc. measurements, DNA analysis, and whatever. So we can get access to all of that info without doing the work ourselves. (FWIW, I was on the HOT cruise right before the one where it sprang the leak. After reading the news article a couple of weeks later I spent several days walking around saying, "That was close! That was close! Yikes, that was close!" )