UnlikelyGrad

Actually, I'm also an environmental aquatic chemist. (PM me if you want to talk shop!) Two of the three friends I can think of who graduated very recently were in other fields though--one in geophysics and the other hydrothermal geochemistry. The third was doing a non-thesis master's while working part-time doing aquatic chemistry (I think)--she went back to full-time work after she finished last spring. There are a number of consulting firms in this area that do that sort of stuff, and my understanding from talking to her was that it was a pretty nice, well-paying 8 or 9 am to 5 pm sort of job. I don't think she ever had to do anything more than a day trip. If you're thinking about the future, please remember that you will be making a LOT more money--so hiring someone to babysit if your mom isn't available is definitely an option. It's not ideal; but when you're a single mom, you just have to let some things slip while you do the best you can.

If your "official" teaching experience as a TA is limited to grading or running labs (as mine was), try to get experience doing guest lectures. I've done two full class periods so far, as well as a portion of another, and will be running my advisor's grad class in a couple of weeks! One of the gen chem profs who likes my teaching style knows I am willing to sub for him any time...

Not one of my students, but an officemate's (we used to read each other funny snippets to stay amused). The question was something along the lines of: given what you've learned about melting points of saturated vs. unsaturated fats, why do you think cold-water fish have unsaturated fats in their bodies? Best answer ever: "Because otherwise, the fish will melt." (We just about fell on the floor, we were laughing so hard)

geochic--what subfield are you in? A master's in geology really does pay off--in fact, in many fields a master's is almost a requirement. I know several people who have recently graduated with an MS and they've had good luck getting jobs. In terms of the parenting thing: I'm sorry. It's hard, I know. I'm theoretically a single parent, but I share custody 50-50 with my ex, and he's been pretty flexible about working around things like field work. We'll be putting that to the test next summer--I'm going to be at sea for ~1 month, which will really screw up our normal parenting plan. My kids are older than yours but sometimes they are just as tiring--though in different ways, I'm sure. One thing I've found that helps is to go to bed early. It's 9:30 here which is just about time for me to get the kids off to bed...and I'll go to sleep right after. Then I wake up early and try to get stuff done while I'm fresh. Honestly, once I get back home after school I don't get anything done, ever. If I don't work early in the morning I don't do anything. Also, I NEED to schedule in relaxation time somehow: reading, or watching a funny movie, or something. I try to do this in the evening when I'm too tired to do anything else anyhow. I seriously think it helps me sleep better. Not sure what to say other than that...hope I could help even a little...

I'm hoping to end up at a primarily teaching institution, but I like research enough that I don't want to give it up entirely. (Side note: since my divorce I've pretty much had to give up any plans for the future; I have joint custody of my kids, and if I leave the state I may end up losing custody altogether. So I may just take whatever job I can get in the Denver area--which will probably mean working for USGS or an environmental consulting firm. For the next 8 years, my kids come first... but I really really really want to teach.) I found a really cool site the other day. It's geared towards the geosciences, but a lot of the links lead to more general advice: http://serc.carleton.edu/teachearth/site_guides/career.html Look down a bit, at the 'resources for grad students and postdocs' section, and you'll see links to ways to prepare for an academic career. One of the articles they linked to was on getting teaching experience. I think you'll find it valuable: http://chronicle.com/article/How-To-Get-All-Important-Te/46358/

nehs, I *ALWAYS* read ahead--in some cases I'm the only one in the class that's done so. It doesn't make a difference. My problem is not a complete lack of understanding, but rather a complete inability to sit still for long periods of time without falling asleep. This is true anywhere: school, church, you name it. I can't even WATCH TV without falling asleep--hence my need to keep busy somehow.

After 2 years of living relatively close to campus, I'm now living out ~10 mi from school. It was the only way to get a place I felt comfortable having my kids in long-term--a house, rather than an apartment. I'm paying about 1/2 of what I would to get a house close to campus. The actual house isn't that much bigger than the old place, but has a garage and a very large covered patio that add to the living space considerably--I've caught boys going to both places for "quiet time". (I do realize that neither will be quite as useful in the winter, though!) Plus, there's a huge yard with trees to climb etc. My boys are ecstatic at having space to spread out. The commute is ~15 minutes, which is not too bad. I'm going counter to most traffic. Lately there's been a bit of traffic on the way home, but that's due to a construction project which will hopefully be done in a month or so. All in all, I'm pretty pleased by my choice of housing.

OMG, yes. Sometimes I wonder about the value of all the glassware I've broken over the last couple of years--I get very klutzy when tired. I also find I make lots of stupid mistakes (some of which have invalidated the whole day's data) when I'm short on sleep.

I think 50 hours a week is perfectly reasonable. I think I put in 40-45 hours/week during regular working hours (I never take time off for lunch--just grab a snack here and there while I wait for the system to equilibrate), and frequently come back to do odd jobs after dinner or on weekends--probably another 5 hours/week there--so I'm guessing 45-50 hours/week on average. It would be easy for my boss to be a slave driver. My experiments frequently take 10-12 hours to run, so 60 hours a week in lab (5 12-hr days), plus more time in the office for analysis, reading, and writing would be quite easy to ask...but she says she likes her grad students awake enough to think. There have been times when I've done super-duper long experiments which run ~18 hours each...several times in one week...I know I've put in 80 hour weeks sometimes! But if I do, she usually tells me to take it easy the following week--like take a whole day off.

Hideous. I have a fantastic advisor who tells me that: (1) I shouldn't work weekends unless absolutely necessary (she's actually told me to GO HOME AND RELAX) and (2) I shouldn't spend 5 days a week in lab--in fact, she actually got upset at me last month, because I *had* been spending 5 days/week in lab, and therefore hadn't done substantial amounts of literature reading. She likes her students to be well-read--and I agree, it is helpful. This brings up the question: if people are in lab 24/7, when do they read scientific journals, never mind ponder what they've read?

Good luck, you two. I hear it's a incredibly tough fellowship to win (my sis was a Hertz fellow ~10 years ago)--not just because of the initial application, but because if you make the first cut they put you through a couple of interviews that are downright hell... I didn't apply because my school isn't one of their allowed schools. But I wouldn't have made it anyway...

Cherry Garcia used to be my fave B&J's flavor until I developed an allergy to chocolate. I don't have the budget for B&J's right now, so my latest indulgence is Kroger's Private Reserve New York Cherry Cheesecake ice cream. And yes, I do love cherry-flavored anything, as you might be able to tell. They also make a Maine Blueberry Cheesecake ice cream that's pretty good.

Honestly, this has always been an issue for me. It's part of the reason I totally failed my first two years as an undergrad...20+ years ago. I ended up blogging about my solution a while ago: http://unlikelygrad.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/staying-awake/ The short answer is that I need to do something while I sit in class. People think that I'm not paying attention because I do Sudoku or whatever during class, but the truth of the matter is that I focus BETTER when I'm doing something else. The other day I walked into the seminar room, sat down, and whipped out my pencil and pack of puzzles. My neighbor said, "Honestly, UnlikelyGrad...how many of those puzzles do you think you've done since you've started grad school? Hundreds? Thousands?" *blush*

Heavens, yes. Also, I can't find parking any more because the undergrads are parking in front of the chemistry building again.

It's perfectly normal (and perfectly OK) to be homesick. I pushed myself hard to connect with other students in my cohort on orientation day (I'm a serious introvert) just so I could have *some* feeling of connection. Luckily, it only took a few days of intensive effort to make a couple of friends, and then I made more once classes etc. started up. And yes, being without internet at home is terrible. I've had to endure 2 separate periods of no-internet-at-home since starting grad school. It wasn't so much that I'm addicted to the net (I am, but not *that* addicted) as it was that I was unable to talk to/communicate with the people who really mattered--my family, and my friends back in the place I used to live who are almost as close as family. Humans have evolved to be social creatures--yes, even introverts! The lack of such connections *is* painful. Luckily, we are also resilient and do form new connections eventually. Hang in there: things will improve.

Ha! That's exactly what I was thinking. Yes, congratulations! I just gave my first presentation too. It was nerve-wracking up until the moment I started speaking, but then things went so well. And I was very relieved to be done! Hope you're happy with the aftermath too.

All I did was put: "Statement of Purpose--UnlikelyGrad" at the top. I did this after seeing some example SoPs somewhere (sorry, can't remember where--it's been 3 years) so I wasn't just shooting in the dark. It seemed to work OK for me.

My advisor--whom I call Dr. Hand-Waver--lists her pre-marriage pubs on her CV as follows: MaidenName [Hand-Waver], T. M. eta: She hasn't used the initial of her maiden name since she got married, as far as I can tell. And honestly, it must have worked, because she got an amazing post-doc + lecturer position with this on her CV. (Of course, that was years ago...all of her heavily-cited papers are under the name of Hand-Waver.)

Not quite your age--but I started grad school at 37, after 15 years at a stay-at-home mom (no work experience between undergrad and when the apps went in, either). It's possible--miracles do happen.

Teaching for the first time is hard and stressful in and of itself. So is moving/settling in. Basically, you have two major stressors in your life right now--of course you're feeling overwhelmed! It will pass. Trust me. I'm not saying your life will be easy, ever--but it will become more manageable. Hang in there; you'll do fine. Good luck with everything!

It's even funny for those who understand German and therefore know what he's really saying.

My experience is: If you want to succeed, you HAVE to find time for ........ whatever it is that is meaningful to you. My first year (and especially the summer after my first year) I worked my butt off. I worked hard at school, dawn to dusk, and went home basically only to crash. Weekends I spent working on something unrelated to grad school, something completely stressful. I rarely relaxed. Finally, some time during that first summer, my advisor ordered me to go home and take a break. She told me I would think better if I spent time out of lab. She was right. Have I ever mentioned how much I love my advisor? Anyway, now I block out large amounts of time for outside activities: being with my kids, playing games with my friends (I've found friends who are serious board game addicts, like me), taking walks, doing volunteer work. I really think I focus better on my work now, and I'm getting more done.

I guess I'm the resident "experienced" biogeochemist here...My experience so far has been that you really need two things besides research papers/presentations in order to get ahead... (1) Know a bunch of people, somehow or another. (2) Do outreach, dammit. The reason for (1) is obvious. (2) is necessary when applying for fellowships and stuff (and, eventually, postdoctoral fellowships and then grants...) (1) can be accomplished through societies/professional organizations, but according to my advisor (who's not a society-joining-type-of-gal if she can avoid it) it's sometimes better done by going drinking with people at conferences. Of course, my advisor is German and beer is a major part of her socializing in any case, so take that with a grain of salt. (2) can be done through stuff you do with your advisor (I'm helping mine with outreach that's part-and-parcel of her new grant right now), but it's also good to be in a club sometimes...my school requires a certain # of outreach hours for clubs that want the highest level of funding. Also, I've done outreach by myself, just for fun.

Most papers in my specific subfield are published in 2 journals, of which MyU subscribes to 1. (My advisor has a personal subscription to the other one and forwards any relevant papers to me.) There is another subfield that I hope to work in eventually; I asked a postdoc who works in this field in which journals he found the most cool papers. He gave me his top two (and a list of 3-4 others I could look at if I had time, which I frequently don't). So right now I am reading 3 journals regularly (though not every paper in each journal), plus assorted papers that my advisor sends me.

Spoken like someone who's never been in an abusive situation... The only way to stay in an abusive relationship for a long period of time is to pretend that it's "normal". That the abuser is right to do these nasty things to you, and everything that happens is your fault (which is usually the line that the abuser is feeding you). The instant you accept that it is actually abuse, that you don't deserve to be treated this way...sticking around is incredibly hard, and more or less impossible.