neuropsychosocial

The initials rounds of the men's tournament are much more entertaining than the women's, for sure. There's some great basketball on the women's side, and I appreciate that the women stay for four years, graduate, and look for careers outside professional basketball, unlike the men. However, there is less depth on the women's side, making the first two rounds fairly boring, usually.* My final two are also UConn versus Stanford, and I would like UConn to win, but I (think I) picked Stanford. It's going to be hard for today's games to be more exciting than Butler/Pitt yesterday! * Although the most exciting game that I ever saw was Harvard/Stanford. A 16 over a 1, baby!

Hey, no name-calling! Luckily, the two of us leading our pool both had Louisville going to the round of 16, so it's a wash. We play a high-stakes pool (bragging rights for a WHOLE YEAR... which usually lasts a day) and I really wanted those points! Really happy to see a low seed doing well, though, and enjoying today's games. I remain "perfect" in the Southeast, but my Southwest bracket is bathed in blood (red lines indicating that my picks were wrong). At least I won't finish last: my spouse picks schools based on their colors and brings up the rear of the pool every year. Anyone else pay more attention to women's basketball than men's basketball?

I just printed that out and will attach it to my refrigerator. You captured perfectly some of the feelings that I had in my master's program, when the self-doubt became almost destructive. In the end, I did very well by most objective standards, including research produced, but the anxiety and fear made the first year a miserable experience. Thank you for articulating your thoughts so well; I know that I will revisit them for reassurance!

You can't mail in a register form with a check? My university requires a paper signature, but I've had no trouble printing a form off their website, filling it in, and sending it with a check. Well, I've had no trouble with my university's part of that: I've occasionally had trouble remembering to SIGN the form.

Yes, I think this is fine. If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could attach an extra page to your application materials explaining the situation. It would not be okay to submit a letter of recommendation that was written after the recommender died.

Congratulations! I bet that feels great. I'll also admit to being a little envious. I finally figured out what I'm really looking for and have a couple of desired neighborhoods, including one that would be PERFECT. Two days ago, I missed out on a great place in the perfect neighborhood that had everything I wanted, because someone else replied to the ad first. I'm still disappointed! (You can tell I'm upset because I'm using lots of smilies. Okay, now I'm doing it on purpose. )

In the U.S., a letter from one's advisor is one of the most important pieces of getting a tenure-track job. It's a HUGE red flag when there's no LOR from the advisor, because it raises the question of whether the advisor, who knows the student better than anyone else in the department, isn't willing to recommend them. It's relatively easy to fleece someone who watches you teach one or two classes, or is only familiar with your written work, but your advisor knows if you miss deadlines, make excuses, refuse to shower, kick small puppies, etc. I don't know about industry. In industry, I'm guessing that it might be more about the advisor's connections and ability to make a phone call than a formal LOR, but I'm just guessing.

Does anyone have any experience with this approach? I'm considering it for a variety of reasons (mostly to have control; I'm nervous about how my dog and another person will get along) and have the financial ability to withstand a few months of no roommate, although it might mean instant noodles for lunch.

Yes, that's fine - nothing wrong with it. I have a friend who grew up in the city to which I'm moving, and I've been sending craigslist postings to her, asking what she thinks about the area. Sometimes, one block of a neighborhood can be okay and the next one has more problems, and that's hard to know when you don't live in a city or are new there.

It completely depends on the program! Keep breathing, do something that burns off anxiety if possible, and good luck!

Some schools do not allow emeritus faculty to chair a doctoral committee, so that might be worth investigating or figuring out how it would work.

I've found my last three apartments through craigslist and am currently addicting to searching for GradSchoolVille apartments via craigslist. I think it's a good idea to bring someone with you, or at the very least, make sure that someone has the addresses that you're visiting and call them between appointments. I've never sold goods over craigslist - or bought goods - but I would be very leery of anything that was expensive or valuable. (Or cloth, if you're moving to a city with bedbugs!)

I think it's quite acceptable to discuss this with your advisor in advance - and I think that you probably should. Most humans would be sympathetic to the idea that being able to visit your significant other would contribute to your overall happiness and productivity, especially if you can indicate some flexibility, such as visiting twice a month (rather than a concrete "every other week") or volunteering to take on other inconvenient duties (night measurements?) if you are the only one excused from weekend lab meetings. It might also be worth asking how often there are Saturday meetings; if it turns out that it's only four weeks out of the semester, but they're consecutive, could your significant other come to visit you?

I agree that it's a good idea to reply, but that it doesn't have to be very long or detailed - "Thank you, I am very excited to hear this news!" should probably suffice. I did not reply to the email from the DGS, cc'd to my advisor, at my top school, because I was afraid that I couldn't put a coherent sentence together ("WHEEEEEEEEEEE!" seemed like an unprofessional response) - and my advisor emailed me a few hours later to make sure that I'd received the DGS's email. I was a little embarrassed and made sure to reply more quickly to future emails. I always think that I have to sound articulate and thoughtful in every email, but a reply often suffices.

Someone admitted to me once that he/she had done this sort of thing, but it was very limited. Two friends had worked with the same advisor, had very similar research interests, and ended up with tenure-track positions (starting in the same year) at two of the top four programs in their discipline. Basically, any student who applied to work with one also applied to work with the other. They had a handshake agreement that they would alternate who got to "pursue" the very top student who applied to work with them - until they each got tenure, then it was game-on for both. The professor said that the two friends still talked about their prospective students every year, but without the agreement to "split the talent." The professor, who was not in my discipline, said that she/he was a little embarrassed about it, but they were young at the time and worried about the similarity in their interests, competing for grad students, and getting tenure. Does it happen? Probably occasionally, mostly among friends who trained together (hence very similar interests), but not as often as we might like to think that it happens. Likewise, some schools probably do occasionally reject applicants who seem overqualified, but that too probably happens less than we might like to think that it does. Don't worry, Warm Weather U, I know you rejected me because of my GPA, not because University of Frozen Tundra wanted me more!

As I heard the devastating news from Japan this morning, I thought of our gradcafe members from Japan. I hope that all of you are safe, that your friends, family, and community are safe, and that you've been able to contact your family/friends. I can't begin to contemplate the loss of life and property in Japan, nor do I understand what it would be like to be away from loved ones and not be able to contact them during a crisis. For whatever it is worth, Japan is in my thoughts and I am hoping for the best possible outcomes for all.

I agree. My puppy kept me awake until 4AM because she was scared of the rain, so only adopt a puppy if you really want to be licked, jumped on, and regularly chewed, if you are prepared to provide cuddles on demand, to clean up excrement, and to arrange your grad school schedule around a dependent creature who can't talk. In return, you will be treated like a hero by someone who thinks you are the center of the universe and doesn't care a wit about your research progress. But don't adopt a puppy just to pass the time until you hear from grad schools. Adopt a puppy (preferably from a rescue or humane society) because you want someone to love and to be loved for the next 10-18 years: I hope mine are still here when I receive tenure. That's a commitment!

Oh, I know, but I'll be living in St. Paul anyway (I think), and either way, I'd love to meet up with you once, so that we can put a name and a face with a username. I was just amazed at how wonderful the students in my program are - nice, supportive, non-competitive, smart. Looking forward to it! Now if only I could find a place to live...

Congratulations!

I don't drink either (good to have found someone else: we'll be the university "wet blankets" together!), and it wasn't a problem during my recruitment visit. I found it to be a bit more of a problem during my master's program, where the only out-of-school get-togethers were undergrad-style parties where everyone (except me) ended up incoherent. If you don't drink, it might be worth noting if you feel pressure to drink during an interview or recruitment weekend, because that will tell you a lot about the social atmosphere in that program. From my perspective, though, pressure to drink doesn't mean that you should drink - it means you might want to think twice about that program. I'm not going to change who I am, especially on something like drinking, just to fit in. If someone asks, I usually say something like, "Just not my thing," and most people leave it alone. For me, not drinking is related to my religious beliefs, but that's not a conversation that I want to have when the other person is drunk, and I generally don't have a problem with other people drinking in moderation. My biggest concern about alcohol in grad school is having people over to my place, because I don't/won't serve alcohol in my home.

I think you're totally fine - that's the way that all of this stuff happens, from undergrad admissions to job searches. If you know you won't attend A, it might be nice to let them know, so that they could consider other students. I also think it's okay to say something about how much you enjoyed X's work and wished that you could receive training from X and (your final choice), but you chose (your final choice) for (vague professional reason). I recently wrote one of those emails and turned myself inside out trying to figure out a way to say, "It's me, not you," and finally gave up. I just named the school that I had chosen and said that for a variety of reasons, personal and professional, I would be going there, noting that I looked forward to seeing the POI at professional conferences.

To the OP: In addition to echoing the suggestion that others have made to seek counseling from a mental health professional (I'd suggest avoiding Robtastic's office!), I think that you should address the academic concern straight-on. If you feel concerned that you damaged your relationships with these three professors, or feel rejected by them, I would suggest talking to them. I think it's okay to say that you are afraid that you damaged your relationship and you want to make sure that you still have their respect. It sounds like you're comfortable with your DGS, who might be a great person to talk to first. Because the DGS has a broader perspective than any given professor, you could tell him/her that you're concerned about finding a project, that you've realized that you feel strongly about working within X theoretical framework, does she/he have suggestions?

Absolutely adore it! I've read both series multiple times, from middle school through, um, different stages of life , and I see the story differently as I develop and experience life. I strongly identified with Ender when I was in middle school and now I find him somewhat whiny.

I agree! I'm in awe of the courage and commitment of people willing to risk their lives to obtain freedom and democracy for their countries. I am humbled by their passion and have used it as an opportunity to examine my own values and priorities. I honestly believe that the "rebels" (as the press seems to be calling the citizens fighting for freedom) will succeed in overturning their dictators, and based on the competent organization into civil committees to direct traffic, collect garbage, create security checkpoints, etc., I think that they will be successful installing and running democratic governments. What an exciting moment of change in our world! I will happily pay more money for gasoline if that's a consequence of these revolutions, although I really wish the U.S. and auto companies would work on reducing our dependence on foreign oil.

I posted an extremely cryptic status on facebook right after I received an offer of admission from my first-choice school, which was the first school from which I heard. I was just bursting with joy and wanted to sing from the rooftops, but I felt strongly that my spouse should hear first. I couldn't reach him for a few hours (I tried!) and so posted something about dreams coming true. After I spoke to him, I posted an explicit update and several friends said later that they were able to connect the dots when they saw the second post (that I wasn't trying to be annoying with the super-cryptic status, but had some people to tell in person). I needed an outlet for my emotion, though, when I wasn't able to reach my spouse, and I'm glad facebook exists so that I can share billions of cat pictures, see my friends' babies, and hear the positives/negatives of peoples' lives.