PsychGirl1

Meh, I agree with StatsNerd. My PI coming in already had made specific decisions based on the assumption that I would have a master's degree. Everybody will know you are coming from a master's program and it will be weird that you don't have a master's degree. I personally think it would be irresponsible and a waste of time and money not to graduate.

Some programs care- for my current PhD program, I had to submit a transcript from my master's program stating that I graduated. I also wanted to defend over the summer, which would formally have me graduate in Aug/Sept, even though I'd be done all my requirements by June or July. Since it overlapped with my PhD program (starting Aug/Sept), my PhD program told me that wasn't allowed and I had to graduate in June.

Yeah... no. Something is going on.

I'm 27 and just started my PhD. You will find that it varies by program and PI- some seem to prefer people who come out of undergrad and do a 1-2 gap year, some seem to prefer people who have their master's, and some seem to prefer people who switch from other careers. There was a very definite pattern when I interviewed as to the group of us who was interviewing- however, it varied school-by-school. Overall, I'd say the wide range of people going back to get their PhD for psych/neuro/clin psych is about 22-35, with an average of maybe 25-27. (^ I made those numbers up based on my own experience :-D)

Oops- we posted at the same time :-D. First, switch therapists. That is the last thing a therapist should ever make you feel like. Make sure you work with someone who specializes in BD. You might want to see both a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and also consider the possibility of medication. (Not saying you should, but I'd talk to about it as an option, for now, or later). Agree, do not discuss your mental health situation- it's nobody's business currently. Second, if you are having second thoughts, I'd contact the school and ask them if there is a way for them to hold your application on file and you resubmit it next year without having to resend your LORs, GREs, transcripts, etc. again. You might be surprised at how easy it is to reapply if you want a few more months to figure things out. :-D

I also agree that you have amazing stats! Many people wish they could have your CV, I'm sure :-). Also, I think that teaching experience is a GREAT use of gap years, especially if you want to be a professor in the future. I'd definitely stress that in your pstatement! Here's my advice... I'm not a licensed psychologist, so this is not any sort of clinical advice, please take it with a grain of salt. This is just my personal advice that I would probably give a friend in the same situation as you: 1) First, seek treatment. You didn't mention if you were in treatment and/or taking medication. Personally, I probably wouldn't go through the application process if I didn't feel like I was relatively stable and had a solid treatment team to fall back on. I found the application process incredibly exhausting and stressful, two things that can be difficult for anyone to handle. 2) After you feel more stabilized and have good treatment resources, I'd go for it and apply. Make sure you get enough rest during the application and interview process, and keep in close contact with your psychologist or psychiatrist. You can read books by Elyn Saks ("The Center Cannot Hold") and Kay Jamison ("An Unquiet Mind") for inspiration- they both had mental disorders with some severe episodes throughout their career, and they still became 100x more successful than I probably ever will be. Before you transition to your new program and new city, work with your current treatment team to establish a solid treatment team in your new city. You can work with your treatment team to learn how to recognize your triggers, and they can serve as an important safety net to help you get through your program successfully. You will probably also want to check with the program to look at their policies for taking terms off for personal reasons, just in case you ever feel like you need to take some time off over the next few years. And lastly, I'd ask about their health insurance coverage and make sure they cover mental health services. I think it's likely you will have a fantastic career in the field. :-D

I wouldn't address the low scores directly, but you could ask certain LORs to play up your data or quant skills (IF you did those types of projects for them).

^ Oops yes, I meant not necessarily addressing your low GPA, but about addressing the career/major change. It will probably help them take more time to see the change in your transcript over time, as opposed to just assessing your overall GPA.

But it is. :-)

I think you need to stress that point in your SOP, and then live with the thought that some people won't review you because of your GPA. Contacting professors you're interested in ahead of time may help, as sometimes they don't even get to review people with super low GPAs- they get filtered out. I'd rock the GRE as much as possible. If you don't get in, I'd take a few night classes at a grad-school level, and show that you can perform well at that level. Plus, it might help the calculation of an "overall GPA", depending what formula each school uses (some ask you about last 2 years, some undergrad, some overall, some all psych-specific classes).

I think BU has a one-year program. I looked into it- seems like it would be a waste of time and money. Basically it's just classes that you pay a buttload of money for. Plus when you add up cost of rent and tuition fees, it's ridic expensive.

I agree with this- this is sorta what I was getting to. Look, at this point, the relationship isn't great. Obviously continuing in the way you have been isn't going to impress her or do anything. Even if you work all weekend, it sounds like she will still make a comment that upsets you. Email her, tell her you're taking the weekend off- tell her you're going somewhere where you wont' have access to the internet if you have to- and you will respond to emails early Monday morning. Then take two days for yourself. Do whatever you want to do, see your friends, and have a drink (or three or four). At some point, you need to decide it's not you. Relax, loosen up, and be yourself. If she says that you should know something, ask her for some good reference or review articles on the topic. Bring up things you've been thinking about- after doing some lit review- and if she says it's stupid, keep it in your back pocket in case you move labs. I feel like she is sorta trying to encourage you but has no idea how. So again, repeat to yourself: you're trying really hard, and it's not working. Consider this rock bottom. So just relax- can't get worse. Don't take every comment she says internally, don't be afraid of what you say- you already think she thinks you're stupid anyway, so what does it matter?- and just start speaking what is on your mind. Trust me- it's a hard process, but I went through it myself. And while you're working on this approach, shop around for your other options in case things don't get better. People switch advisors and programs all the time. This one woman does not determine your life, your career, or anything else about you.

Look at the program information and get a sense of the program. Some master's programs have admissions similar to undergrad- they accept a class based on admissions criteria. Then once you get to campus, you sorta figure out who you want to work with (if it's research based- some of them are mostly classes). Others model the PhD system, where it's 1 advisor-1 student and you're accepted to work with a specific advisor. If that's the case, then it's helpful to check and make sure they're taking master's students. Some years professors will take more than 1 students across programs, sometimes they won't be taking any. It can also help you get your name on a professor's radar if they don't often take master's students.

Here's what I would do- please, someone jump in if I'm giving horrible advice: Stay in the lab for a bit, drop the NSF, and see how things change. But while that is all happening, I'd: 1) go to counseling, 2) start researching other people's labs, trying to figure out where you could fit in research-wise, and what experience you can bring to their lab. I'd probably also start networking with the other professors, and maybe chat with them about their research 1-on-1- just say you're interested in learning more about what they do/research. Then, at this point, depending on your gut feeling, I'd either stay in your lab or work on getting transitioned to a new lab. Or maybe even transitioning to a new school, if nothing seems right at your current one. I hate to defend your professor in any capacity, but I'd also think honestly about yourself and your performance in the lab. Sometimes when we're overwhelmed and depressed and upset about the lack of help from our professor, it can become this circle where we're like "GIVE ME ADVICE" and they're like "NO" and it just keeps going around and escalating. At some point, you might be able to realize you CAN do this. You can attempt a rewrite of that paragraph and submit it and have her be like "good job". You might learn to trust your own gut and make your own decisions and stand up to her. Some advisers try this approach deliberately- which it sounds like she is doing. Some do this accidentally by just being crappy advisers. I don't know how to explain how sometimes the process turns you into a great researcher, but I went through it by being a newcomer to the field with a hands-off adviser. The two years were very up-and-down, but it ended up being a really great process for me personally to go through- although I did cry a decent number of times and bomb a few things along the way :-D. Anyway, I'd email her, telling her you're taking a long weekend to yourself (off for veteran's day?), remove yourself from the situation, go visit friends, and have some drinks. Sometimes just distancing yourself from a situation can help as well. Good luck!

If you don't want to do research, do NOT do a PhD program. You are going to have 5-6 years of your life being miserable- and you will face major barriers to getting in with a lack of research, strong GPA, etc. You might need to take 2-3 years to prepare to even get into one. If you want to do counseling and case studies, I strongly suggest a master's instead. Yes, you do pay tuition, but the program is shorter, and you'll start earning money faster. In a PhD program, you don't always have a big enough stipend to cover ALL costs of living, and it's not always guaranteed for the whole time. PhD funding is usually tied to research grants, so it means at the schools where you get funding, there will be a lot of research going on. What I would do if you I were you: - Apply to a few research-based master's - Apply to a few clinically-focused master's, like master of counseling, MSW, etc- whatever closely aligns with what you want to do - Apply to a few lower tier PhD programs that are heavily clinically focused - Start figuring out your career goals and back-up plans Yes, even if you don't get in anywhere, it will cost a decent amount of money, but you will learn a LOT from the application cycle (about what you want to do, about what you DON'T want to do, things you like about schools, things you don't like, how to make yourself more competitive, etc.). Not to mention that it's already November, and I assume you already have letter writers lined up, transcripts sent places, etc.

Have you thought about taking a semester off? Most schools will have some way for you to do that. One thing, during your time off, is to think about is to weighing the length of your program against how much you're struggling. Getting a PhD in a certain area can be a huge benefit even if you're planning to teach. For example, I went to a private school K-12, and I'd say a little over half of my teachers had a PhD, even the English teachers :-). Also, by taking a semester off and re-aligning your career goals, you may find that the grad school life is less stressful, less overwhelming, and less stressful. After all, you just have to fulfill the requirements for your degree if you don't plan to stay in academia. You may even let yourself make room for things you enjoy, such a tutoring, instead of trying to get As instead of Bs, or trying to network for a job in academia, or whatever that may be. Your university might also have resources like teaching classes that you can take on top of your normal requirements- and the TA'ing experience is still valuable for that career path. Just food for thought- that is honestly what I would do if I were you. Also, in addition to a counselor, you might want to try to find career services- either through your school or out of it- I found it really helpful when I was trying to figure out a new career path a few years ago. You take lots of tests, do some "games"/exercises to learn what priorities are important to you in career/life, talk about what aspects you want to find in your next job and potential career paths, etc. I actually found it a really helpful process, because a lot of the time it's difficult to put into words what you like or don't like about things. Good luck!

Your GPA and lack of research will be major barriers. MAJOR barriers. Even if your GRE scores are competitive. At this point, it's pretty late in the application cycle to decide not to push forward. I'd probably add a few master's programs to your list (they tend to have later deadlines)- some funded, some unfunded- and then see where you end up at the end of everything, and then make a decision. To be honest, I'd be very surprised if you got into any PhD programs, but stranger things have happened :-D

Then I would just be honest with the prof- tell him his research looks interesting but you're actually hoping to work with Dr. XX and maybe think of some questions to ask him about the program or whatever.

Talk to your research advisor about it.

I still wouldn't do it if you have no intention of staying on with the prof. What would be the point for you? Five months isn't much time to get caught up on all the research going on, and make an impact on top of that. Definitely not enough time for posters or presentations, to network, or to make any sort of impact on your application package. And I still say he won't be happy when the final decision is made, which it sounds like you've already made up your mind and you're just being slightly more vague to the professor's face. But it also sounds like you've made up your mind about taking it- so just take it and don't look to us for validation!

I'd be as honest as possible now. You're going to burn bridges- maybe more than you think- if you don't.

Maybe you should write more clearly, and not be so rude and demanding ("I ask that unless you wish to offer some constructive criticism or assistance in clarifying or confirming the above information, please refrain from making pointless comments."; "I think you should check your thought process and re-evaluate how you react to people who want general help and direction."). You're ASKING people for HELP. The least you can do is write clearly, and give honest and polite replies. Sometimes a bit of an explanation and politeness goes a long way.

Relax, calm down, take a day off and get your thoughts together. When you have a clear head, remind yourself of why you want this degree, get your life together, stop freaking out, and approach your adviser calmly to chat about your dissertation as well as your goals for this year. If you're comfortable with it, let him know that you're aware you haven't been managing your time as well as you could be, and that you plan to be making xyz adjustments for this upcoming year, and ask him to give you feedback along the way. Adviser-advisee relationships are a 2-way street! Communication, communication, communication :-D

Have you tried to integrate into groups outside of the school atmosphere? Generally, you can use websites like Meetup to try to make friends or learn new hobbies. It's only been 6 months, and you're liking your research and your PI. I'd honestly try to stick it out for a bit longer to get over the adjustment phase, and try to find new friends in different ways, such as sports, hobbies, meetup, craigslist, okc, etc. You don't have to spend 24/7 at your institution or with your cohort, and there's always going to be SOMETHING that sucks- very few programs/schools/areas are 100% perfect.

Most of that "funding" comes from research grants through professors focused on research- the funding is technically "payment" for your research work (and TA'ing work). If you really want to be a clinician and not do research (and/or don't have research experience to get into a program that emphasizes research), you will have trouble finding a program that is funded where you will be competitive. IMO, I'd suggest doing a master's in counseling or social work or something like that. They aren't very long, and you can probably work part-time and TA to minimize the cost of tuition and living.