CageFree

I'd say the only grades that matter in terms of staying in your program are the ones that are required for your program. A B in an undergraduate language class won't get you kicked out of your program... it only matters for the purposes of schoolwide funding (i.e. having to maintain a 3.0). It is absurd that you had to take the course for a grade though. Why weren't you allowed to take it P/NP?

Basically, you need to get a yearlong lease and get a California-based bank account. Going up to Oregon to visit your family isn't a problem; moving to Oregon for the whole summer is.

I would get the professor involved at that point. It's not worth your time to argue with students.

Yeah well, that's why I upgraded.

My husband is the only person I've been involved with who has an advanced degree. My ex-husband only had a high school diploma and, in retrospect, a big part of why our relationship didn't work out had to do with the reasons why he didn't have a diploma. Essentially, he found my education (at the time I only had a BA but I did attend a school with big name recognition) threatening, even emasculating, and this resentment expressed itself in a constant need to "put me in my place" and show me that despite my "big vocabulary" (it's not as if I go around quoting Foucault, either!) and the fact that I made more money than he, I was essentially worthless because I am a woman. Now, this isn't because he didn't go to college. As many others have pointed out, there are plenty of idiots with college degrees and plenty of smart, articulate people without them. But as someone else also mentioned, the reasons why the person doesn't have a degree do play some role. My ex was not intellectually curious, hated reading, and did not see much value in education. He came from a blue-collar and machista background. He did not have examples of strong, educated women around him (his mom didn't go past 5th grade), and his father saw himself as a family patriarch of sorts. He made decent money without a college degree (though the lack of education did limit his opportunities for advancement). I came from a similar background, but my mother is very strong. Looking back, I never should have married him, because I more or less married my father, which didn't work out so well for my mother. *shudder* My now husband is pretty much the opposite. He encouraged me to go to grad school, moved up here with me, and is willing to listen to me as I bounce ideas around even though what I do is completely outside his area of expertise. He too comes from a blue collar, socially conservative background,and his mom has a HS diploma, but like my mom, she's very strong. The main difference is that my husband is curious and loves to learn, even if it's not in his field. He reads a lot. We have great (and heated) discussions, and he was attracted to me precisely because I'm outspoken and opinionated... a mild-mannered woman would have bored him to tears. He's even becoming a feminist! I can't picture ever being where I am now had I stayed with ex. He wouldn't understand. My husband has a MS and he "gets" it. So... I guess what I'm saying is that it's not so much about having a degree, but about what drives people to get them... having similar backgrounds can be good, but you also have to be driven by similar values... there has to be something that acts as an equalizer.

I am very attached to my undergrad institution (a Pac-12 school) and still have the bumper sticker, even though I graduated well over a decade ago. It was my dream school in high school, I still love the campus, and I consider myself a _______. As an undergraduate, I went to football and basketball games. As a graduate student I have no idea or interest in the school's sports (it's mostly Division III), though I do wear sweatshirts with the school's name. I do not consider myself a ________. I'm here for my Ph.D., and don't participate in "student" life the way I did as an undergrad. I barely leave my department's building as it is.

A lot of what you describe is hormonal, which wouldn't happen with a copper IUD. The first couple of days are rough, but I would say no more so than a really painful period. I suppose the only 'downside' after that initial period has been heavier than normal flow and pain but... I'll take that over a pregnancy, thank you very much. I went with the copper precisely because I suffer from migraines, and hormonal methods are really bad when you get them. I read all those horror stories too and so I was a bit apprehensive but you know, it was the best reproductive decision I've ever made. In fact, I should have done it much earlier, rather than trying sterilization (which didn't work!).

I am married, and thankfully my MIL already has grandchildren so she hasn't bugged us at all. I just can't wait to be over 40 so that people will stop speculating and just assume I am too old to have any (not that age has stopped people from speculating if Jennifer Aniston is preggers every time she eats a big lunch, but one can hope) I guess it all boils down to people needing to mind their own f'ing business

I felt the same when I unexpectedly got a generous fellowship for my first year that freed me from any work obligations. What I did was use the "extra" time to get more coursework done. I am in the last term of my second year and I am done with all coursework, while most of my friends (the ones who didn't get 1st year fellowships) are still taking classes... this term I am writing a research paper and it's so freeing not to have to be in class reading stuff that's only tangentially related to my research interests. I feel very fortunate to have had the money last year. So... enjoy it and take advantage of the free time!

It is covered by insurance thanks to the Affordable Care Act. In fact, all birth control methods are free now (not sure how long that will last but I got a free copper IUD thanks to ACA I am in my late 30s and CBC - never felt a biological clock ticking. I like peace and quiet at home. I like not having to go to meetings with teachers, take the kids to ballet or piano or soccer, plan birthday parties, etc. I like knowing I don't have to start a college fund because college is getting so expensive it will be very tough for the next generation to afford it. I like having the freedom to move around for my career without having to worry about finding good schools or child-friendly neighborhoods. I can definitely relate to the condescending attitudes by doctors and society at large... I still feel I have to explain myself when I say I don't want kids and neither does my S/O. Re: IUD versus sterilization, few doctors are willing to perform traditional tubal ligations on nulliparous women because it's major surgery... they have to cut through your abdominal wall. Women who want tubal ligations generally get them when they have C-Sections. There are a couple of sterilization procedures where they essentially cauterize your tubes (Essure is the best known). I don't recommend these. PM for details. And I'm sorry, but can you guys stop quoting "Littledarlings?" I have her posts blocked for a reason. Thanks

Yeah, I would say that people overestimate the important of your adviser having to do exactly what you do. My adviser works on a different time period and country, though same general region,and we have different thematic interests. And you're right, your interests are likely going to change... I would say that of the people I know, about 2/6 are doing exactly what they set out to do, 3/6 have stayed in the same general time and/or region but changed interests, and 1/6 have made dramatic changes (like Europe to South Asia, or 16th century to 20th).

Plus, a degree in Public History might render a certificate in museum studies unnecessary, if that's your goal, depending on whether the program emphasizes museum work.

This. Just a few more things: Academic fit also means having alternatives. If, say, your primary adviser leaves.. would that mean you cannot continue? If so, the program was probably not a great place to be. The days of faculty getting a tenure-track position and staying there until they died in their office are long gone.... professors move, especially those who are mid-career. My adviser left after my first year because "life happened" (in other words, I don't blame this person one bit for leaving and it was not planned), but I have three other faculty in my field that I was able to choose from to continue. I would not go to a program that only has one person working in my field. There's also politics (and I don't mean department stuff). If you lean a bit conservative, a super-left-wing department might not be a great place, especially if you work on, say, United States history... and viceversa. Unless you like arguing a lot... Finally, there's the department culture. Some departments are very collaborative and collegial, others are super cut-throat (especially when grad students have to compete for funding).

You may have been "around the block," but not in our field. So.. when it comes to fit in HISTORY, yeah, we know more than you.

I've been using movie scores, preferably stuff that's sort of classical yet new agey at the same time, like Clint Mansell's soundtracks for Moon and The Fountain. - from The Fountain - from Moon I also write to Enya.

Actually, it's becoming increasingly common for people to have gap years. Professors like working with students who've done something besides "school." The gap year(s) don't have to be related to academia at all... a friend of mine worked retail after finishing her MA and while applying to grad programs. It was fine.

Just a few thoughts: Although several people have mentioned the job situation (your SO will have to find some type of work, which may be easier in or near a large city than a small, isolated college town), another factor to consider is social life. My partner and I moved six hours away (cross-state) from family and friends, which meant having to set up new social networks. As a grad student, you can build friendships with people in your program and others you meet through classes and extracurricular activities, but for your S/O this may mean that a) their social life will revolve around yours, or b ) they will have to make friends outside your circle, which largely depends on their ability to find work and the nature of the job itself. My program is in a relatively isolated city, and the first year that we were here my partner was finishing a teaching certificate in a nearby small town. My entire social life revolves around grad school -- which means my poor STEM-trained partner has learned (through osmosis) more history in the past year than he did in 18 years of formal education. Now that he has a job about half an hour away, he socializes more with people at his job site, but I don't really participate because they go do things after work, and I have to be here. The good thing is that because he already has a graduate degree he understands the pressure I'm under. We don't argue over things like why I have so much grading to do or why I stay up late to read and write. Some partners (with or without a graduate education) will be very supportive, while others may not understand the grad school mentality and rhythm, and that may cause some strain as well... especially if your partner made sacrifices to move and acclimate to a new place.

A ganar!

Hear, hear! Not to mention, she's not fat.

The sun is a symbol on a flag.

Chromebooks are just a bad idea. You can't use popular programs like Word... might as well just have a tablet, really. Between Windows and Mac, it's all a matter of price and personal preference. I hate Macs... can't stand the operating system. They are also very expensive. But a lot of people like them... you gotta use what's comfortable for you.

Actually, I'm from Los Angeles. But my dream job is in the pacific northwest!

I missed that part. You know us grad students don't read word for word. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Olives Arugula Beets Yogurt Black licorice/Anise/Caraway seeds/Fennel (or anything that tastes like any of that) Super hoppy beers (i.e. IPAs) Horror movies (suspense is fine but gore... ugh) Family Guy (NOT funny!) California weather (i.e. sun)

N/M, I have been reading too much today.