CageFree

Is this the department orientation or the university's? I found the one organized by the university to be a colossal waste of time, but the department one (which lasted a day) was not only mandatory, but incredibly beneficial.

I'm commander Shepherd. I'm mostly human, though I did get some cybernetic upgrades.

If you are just starting, you're probably fine. Once you're out on the job market, though, you may need to tone it down, as you never know what kind of environment you'll be interviewing in.

I need to LOL on a Friday

I never used words like "responsible," though. What I said was that the idea of "hating everyone who doesn't like your music" is something far more common among teens because it can be linked to the identity formation process. And I did answer your question to the best of my ability... that it's not "music" that influences you as much as the subculture it represents.

I haven't been in academia for so long... in fact, I was away from academia for about 12 years before going back into it, so that's not my point of reference. I definitely see your examples as subcultures rather than "musical tastes," and you're right, some people stay in those subcultures for the rest of their lives. I grew up listening to grunge, wore flannel and chucks back in the day, but now that I'm (ostensibly) a grown-up, I wash my hair and wear clothes in colors other than black and grimy. Still, I love grunge and probably will the rest of my life.... and I think MOST adults, at least in my experience, have similar experiences. One of my best friends grew up listening to pop punk, but she doesn't wear purple hair or paint her nails black anymore, you know? Anyway, this is pretty far off the original point. For the record, the love of music is definitely a matter of degree and there's nothing wrong with that. My S/O loves showtunes and 70's rock, two genres I pretty much detest, but generally prefers audiobooks to music when driving, traveling, or working out. BTW, I was joking about the last question, in case you didn't notice.

I think this varies. Right now I'm meeting with mine every week for at least 10-15, but that's because I'm finishing a paper. I'll probably be meeting with him more often next year when I start studying for comps... but if I didn't have a class or other "obligations," I probably wouldn't meet with him often.

Yeah, this thread has gone in such a different direction from where it first started... I think? I can't even remember what the OP was asking about anymore.

Again, what's your point of reference? Teens or adults? Because I don't know adults who behave the way you describe (well, based on music, anyway), though I've known groups of teenagers who "hate entire groups of people" for a lot of reasons. Keep in mind it's not so much the MUSIC but rather what subculture is associated with that music... goth kids have a different subculture than, say, hip hop fans. Part of being a teen involves defining yourself and your identity on the basis of your peer group, which could very well be a part of a subculture. And well, identity formation starts in part through "identifying against" others who are defined as outsiders. Music may be one of the most visible (audible?) expressions of subcultural identity, but that doesn't mean that the MUSIC, per se, is the cause of "hatred." Similarly, the idea that "a casual insult of your favorite artist rips at the core of your very being?" Well, two thoughts. One, an adult who is self-confident won't give to craps who likes or doesn't like their music. Two, do you go out of your way to insult other people's "favorite artists" simply to piss them off? (I suppose I can kind of picture that, given you're kind of a provocateur, but I digress )

Another suggestion would be to look through the last few issues of the top journal for your field (for example, for me one might be the Latin American Research Review), and see what kind of work is being done that interests you. Then look at where those people (faculty, grad students) are. It will tell give you an idea of what type of research is being done in what programs. I say this because faculty interests change... if you fell in love with a book published in 1994, that faculty member is likely to be working on something completely different. Recent books are a much better gauge.

BS. You need to take responsibility for the statements you make instead of blaming others for not interpreting them the way you supposedly "intended them." Is this how you plan to carry out academic publishing? "No, I wasn't making an unsupported assertion, you just didn't interpret it the right way."

No, I'm offended by comments like this one: "who goes into a PhD program and does not expect that they will have to put many things they want on hold, my question is why bother doing it if you are not willing to give your full 100% effort and dedication" This implies that people who have "other things" are not 100% committed to their programs and that's patently false. By your logic, I should have divorced my husband, euthanized my pets, and told my family not to call me for the next 7 years so that I could be a "fully committed" student. And no, clearly you aren't limiting yourself to what you believe is best for yourself, but judging others who do not share your "philosophy" as somehow less likely to be successful than you think you're going to be. And btw, note that I'm not alone in saying that having these other things in my life is vital to my success. Other grad students have posted to say similar things... so really, no, I'm not upset that "others don't share my opinions," because clearly, most other grad students on this thread do.

Excuse me, but who do you think you are to tell me that my husband, family, friends, pets... they are "non-necessities?" You may be able to live without those things, and that's totally fine, but you have absolutely no authority to tell anyone else that we "don't need them" and that they are potential hindrances. I particularly take issue with your insinuation that anyone who doesn't "give up everything" to devote themselves 200% to their studies is somehow less committed than you. I find your arrogant tone appalling, especially from someone who hasn't even STARTED grad school yet. Good luck. With that attitude, you're going to need lots of it.

I have been pretty lucky in that regard, but my father's mother is a real piece of work... so much so that I cannot call her grandmother, as her hatred for my mother extended to ill treatment of my sisters and me. My father never stood up to her... always let her do whatever she wanted. It was worse when we were next door neighbors. Suffice it to say that we suspect her of trying to poison my two younger siblings with ice cream to blame my mother for it. My parents eventually split up, and he went running back to his mother... this after 30+ years of marriage. So... the only thing I can say is that if your fiance doesn't stand up to her, you're in for a lifetime of hell. Have a talk with your fiance and sort this out now BEFORE you get married, or your children (should you have any) will also pay the price.

I wouldn't say that "music saved my life," but it has definitely made my life richer. There are songs that I can identify with important times in my life, or that remind me of things that I've gone through. Every time I hear the opening rift to Smells Like Teen Spirit, it's like I'm 14 again, for about 3 or 4 seconds... and when I hear When I come Around by Green Day, or You Oughta Know by Alanis Morisette, I'm back in freshman year of college. (Yeah, I'm ancient). I don't really listen to new artists... I've had the same favorite rock band for over 20 years.. since they came out, pretty much. It's not just about the music or the lyrics (though that's obviously a big part of it), but also what the band stands for. I wouldn't say that the band has "influenced" me, but rather that I continue to love them because I feel that as they evolved, they more or less went along the same path I did. That, of course, comes from the lyrics, in large part... it's not just "music." Lyrics are a form of poetry... and just like a poem, or a work of literature, can make an impact on someone, so can a song lyric. As far as influencing how people dress... I don't know. A lot of what you are saying really applies to teens, who are kind of searching for an identity... like the whole emo fad of a few yeas ago. It's not the "music" so much as what the culture might represent for them (ie. rebellion against parents). If a 20 or 30 something is "dressing" in a way that's influenced by a band...I'd worry a bit.

I mix ketchup and mayo and use that to dip fries. It's like Thousand Island minus the pickle. I also use that when I cook turkey or beef patties (served on the plate). Back when I was still learning how to cook, I tried to "caramelize" onions by cooking them down with a bit of honey (yeah, I was quite young) and then putting them on top of mashed potatoes. It actually tasted really good.

Well, Poli Sci tends to be more quantitative, so if you are interested in doing a History PhD then doing something that's more quantitative in nature might give you an edge. If, however, you wanted to do something based on oral history, it won't help as much. The disciplines are not so closely related past undergrad classes.

I think my situation is different from a lot of people's because I did not grow up in the US, so I did not form any close social circle growing up. I don't have a circle of "friends from back in the day." That, and I didn't have a lot of friends where I did grow up. Moving away for grad school destroyed my previous social circle, but realistically I only miss maybe 5 or 6 of those people. I have two categories of friends: transient friends, and real friends. My real friends are relatively few, and I've "collected" them over the years... I seem to have one or two good ones from every major life transition (college, jobs, etc.). Those are people I might not see in person for years but we stay in touch and when one of us is in town, we hang out, give each other a big hug, get caught up, and what not, But they are also the people that, if I had a major crisis, would drop what they are doing in a heartbeat for me, and I for them. They are like family. Those friends are scattered all over the country right now.... and one lives in the town I grew up in, half-way around the world. I went back there this last summer and stayed at her place for a week, staying up late at night catching up on two decades of "stuff." If she ever wanted to come up here, she'd have a bed as well. Then there's the people who you befriend, do stuff with, etc., but whose friendships won't survive a move or a change in situation.That includes coworkers you get close to, for example. That also includes most other grad students. After we each finish our degrees, many of us will go our separate ways, though some people will be part of my 'tribe' so to speak, and so it goes.

Sure. I'll put my marriage on hold (so long husband, go find a gf for the next 7 years while I finish my PhD), give my pets away, etc., just so I can focus on research. That doesn't seem like a recipe for disaster. I am a pretty successful student, I think, and I work maybe 6-8 hours a day (I'm in the humanities, so no lab work, but I do have to work on independent research and I also have teaching duties). That leaves 8 hours of sleep, and the rest of the time to the other so-called distractions. You see, I found that after working more than 6 hours, I was no longer productive. I'd sit in front of the computer staring into space, or rereading paragraphs from a book over and over unable to concentrate. If I didn't have a partner* at home willing to look at my drafts or bounce ideas with (not to mention the emotional support, the cooking when I'm not in the mood to, etc.), a cat to snuggle up to me when I'm having writer's block, or a dog to force me to go outside a couple of times a day so I can go and process ideas during a walk, I would not be successful. Productivity isn't about spending every waking hour "at work," but about making your working hours count. * this could also be a friend/roommate. It just so happens to be my partner. Going out to beer with friends isn't just a "social" activity. We talk about our research... we bounce ideas back and forth. It releases tension but it also allows us to "work" by developing our thoughts. I find inspiration in those moments. The people I know who struggle the most are those who don't have any of those things and who focus exclusively on "work." They live by themselves because roommates are too distracting. They don't have pets. They don't go to anything "social." There's no balance. Their work suffers... they don't really exchange ideas with anyone else, and what they produce reflects that.

I don't believe I implied such a thing. All I said is that (some) people would argue that "gay marriage" isn't "making marriage stronger" but rather making the heteronormative assumptions and concepts surrounding it part of gay culture when traditionally gay culture used to reject such assumptions. After all, once a same-sex couple marries, they become eligible for divorce, child custody battles, etc. The professor in question is part of an older generation of gay men that rejected the notion of marriage because it was what "straight people" did.

A professor I know well would argue that the gay marriage movement is another example of internalized middle-class heteronormativity, rather than a sign of the strength of marriage.

Interesting. That seems to be numbers of community members, but does not indicate how many actually use the site (and "benefit" from it). How many users are active at any particular time, and how many are setting up dates? I doubt AM would publish those figures, but a 70/30 split means that for women it's a "buyer's market," so to speak. (All of that assuming that the site only caters to heterosexual encounters, which I'm not really wiling to find out by visiting the site). Fascinating topic though.

I don't understand this mentality. To me, they are equally unforgivable. They both constitute betrayals of trust.

We own a PS3. My husband plays sports games and dabbles in RPG land, while I'm a dedicated RPG player. Can't afford a PS4, though after I am ABD I will reward myself with one as well as a copy of Dragon Age: Inquisition.

It was only a matter of time before a website like this showed up, and the fact that it has been successful for a number of years shows that there was a market for such a thing. The concept of marital fidelity (well, on the part of men) is relatively recent given that for quite some time marriage was a mere business arrangement. I think it would be interesting to find out about the gender divide between users of the site. I suspect, with no proof whatsoever, that women are more likely to use sites like this to arrange trysts discreetly, given that there still is a considerable disparity in social attitudes toward unfaithful spouses based on their gender (for this, just look at responses to cheating celebrities: men are far more likely to get a pass). So, should my hypothesis hold true, would that mean that this site is part of the latest "sexual revolution" (i.e. raunch culture) by allowing women to engage in activities that men have been able to enjoy with little to no social cost? Or is the website exploiting women's need for discretion? Like I said, it would be interesting to know. Is it ethically revolting? Hard to answer. I prefer companies whose ethical standards are a match for mine, but I also know that many companies refuse to get pulled into ethics questions because their purpose is to make a profit, nothing more. So... obviously I would never support a company like AM, but in the grand scheme of things, there are companies that are far more questionable in terms of ethics, not to mention that their impact is so much greater (*cough*Walmart*cough*). In terms of morals... well... we'd have to get into a discussion about what constitutes moral behavior, which then leads to religion and... screw it. Not going there. In terms of the "institution of marriage," which I have willingly joined not once, but twice (the first time ended due to my ex's infidelity, btw), websites like this one are not a "contribution" to its downfall. It's people's attitudes toward marriage and toward their partners that have changed the institution. My ex did not use a site like AM - he hooked up with some woman he'd crushed on back in high school. But if it hadn't been her, it would have been someone else. Our ideas about marriage (like our ideas about my place in society) were vastly different, and in the end, he acted in accordance to his disregard for me. I've since remarried, and to be perfectly honest, I not only trust him completely, but I know that he would have remained faithful to me even if I'd refused to sign a wedding license, because that's just who he is. So... I don't necessarily have an answer, just more questions. But I'm with the OP: as a business proposition, it's quite brilliant.