wildviolet

LOL, of course! I think most of us recognize the unfairness of life but just choose to deal with it in different ways.

This makes me wonder... if we accept that the world is inherently unfair, then how do we deal/cope with it?

Usmivka--I'm going to steal that if you don't mind! LOL, that's perfect.

Don't worry about bringing your baby along. Ask if there are resources you can use while you're there so that you can keep feeding your baby but also meet with people. I recently discovered that my department has a breastfeeding room! My kids are school-age now, but I would have appreciated it when I was nursing my kids. Or, the alternative is to try and glean what you can from phone/Skype conversations with faculty, grad students, and recent grads. My visit last spring just confirmed what I had already learned through these conversations. So, it's possible to learn about the atmosphere of the university from a distance. Also, I would not worry about being discriminated against because you're a mother. I can't speak for every department, but my department is incredibly supportive of parents (both men and women). My colleagues are the first ones to step up if I need backup babysitting. Good luck!

At my university the official guideline is 10 hours per week on average for teaching a three-hour course. This guideline is doable as long as you work efficiently. One of my colleagues probably spent about twice the amount of time that I did--I think she wasn't working very efficiently. Some weeks, I put in about 6-7 hours: 3 hours for class time and 3-4 hours for prepping (which included reading the course material and preparing my PPT slides). When I had to grade assignments, the total for the week would be about 10-12 hours. So, on average, it worked out to be about 10 hours per week over the course of the semester. Next year, if I teach the same course again, I will have already read the material, so I will just need to go back and refresh my memory/update my slides. We are not allowed to have outside jobs but that is because our stipends should cover living expenses.

I disagree that the processes of grading and teaching/mentoring are the same. Why do you blame the teacher? I am not saying that 100% of the blame is on the student. My experiences as a secondary science teacher in a variety of public schools were vastly different depending on the student population. I have come to believe that the classroom is a complex social and intellectual environment in which the outcome--student learning--is influenced by the skill of the teacher and the attitudes of the students. In this case, the "whining" attitude is a detriment to the learning process because of the assumption that the teacher is to be blamed for poor grades. Again, the one-sided focus on the quality of teaching does not take into account the complexities of learning. Heck, we don't even really know how students learn! Look up the emerging field of the Learning Sciences if you don't believe me that we still have no idea what we're doing in the classroom.

I have a colleague who draws/makes cards for a hobby, so she made a card for her advisor (she also talks with him about stuff like why her mom is pressuring her to get married at the age of 28). Anyway, I made a southern red velvet cake for our last class/potluck because I knew my professor missed southern things living up here in the Midwest. As long as the gift isn't weird, I don't see why it should be frowned upon. Oh yes, and for this same professor, we all signed a card and gave it to her in class when we found it was her birthday--she was appreciative.

Here is the way grades work at my institution (granted, I just finished the first semester of my PhD program): 1. You get a 4.0 in the course unless you are not making satisfactory progress. I suppose this is one of the official ways your quality of work in the program is evaluated. In one of my courses this semester, the professor gave me the lowest 4.0 possible on all my assignments, so I ended up with a 4.0. What mattered were the comments she made on my papers showing me how to improve my writing. In my other course this semester, I received 3.5s on all my assignments leading up to the final paper. I got a 4.0 on the final paper, and my professor gave me a 4.0. So... she clearly didn't calculate my grade based on the percentages in the course syllabus. If so, I would have received a 3.5. My conclusion, therefore, is that she gave me an overall grade for where I ended up in the course (which is still not great in the grand scheme of things, but I suppose is satisfactory for a first-year PhD student). 2. If you are making satisfactory progress and you get all 4.0s (and everyone else gets 4.0s), then grades don't matter. So what matters? Research, teaching, writing, presentation skills, teamwork skills, technical skills, strength of methodology, creativity, originality, perseverance, flexibility, determination, and congeniality (to some extent; some people can be assholes and still considered excellent scholars).

This is a good practice. You can be biased either for or against students. For example, for students that I personally like and enjoy having in the course, I have to be mindful of grading their work too easily. On the other hand, it's the opposite for students that I personally dislike. Because this is a project-based and discussion-based course (no exams) it's difficult to grade 100% objectively, even with rubrics. I am not comfortable being a sympathetic ear to my students--in my view, it crosses the boundary of professionalism. I'm friendly, but I'm not their friend. I give extensions when they are needed (for example, this semester someone's father was ill, someone got married during the Thanksgiving break, someone's car broke down, etc.). But when it comes to grades, it's the quality of work that matters. Even though undergrads must apply to our program during their sophomore year (thus, potentially weeding out lesser quality students), we still get students performing at the 3.5 and 3.0 level, and there's nothing wrong with that. Why does everyone think they must get a 4.0?

First, teaching and learning is a two-way street. I teach one section of many in a well-established program--therefore, the course syllabus is common to all the sections and is extremely clear about expectations and grading for the course. I don't even have to modify the syllabus except for adding my name and contact information. Each written assignment includes a rubric, and they get feedback three separate times about their big assignment before it's due at the end of the semester. I admit that the "participation" and "reflections" grades are more subjective. But, I try my hardest to award points for demonstrated high-quality participation in class activities and discussions. Note that I said demonstrated--I can't read their minds, and I don't give quizzes to see if they've done the reading. Second, I don't care how they "feel" about the course. What matters is that they learned what they were supposed to learn. Third, "students lack trust in those at power"? Really? In my experience, students buy into the power structure--that's why they're in college in the first place (as compared to the Bill Gates' and Steve Jobs' of the world who don't buy into the power structure and drop out). Look at the terms we even use to describe those people--"drop out" as if it's a bad thing when college isn't a necessity for everyone. Yes, thank you! You understand what I meant and said it much better than I did. Working really hard and spending lots of time does not necessarily equal an excellent grade in the course. Mind you, this student earned a 3.5 and wanted a 4.0. Sorry! The sad thing is that even if I awarded the student one more percentage point (which is all I took away for not providing quality responses during class discussions), it won't change the final grade. This student is at a solid 3.5. So why even bother letting me know about upset feelings? What is the student's purpose except to let me know that s/he disapproves of my grading? Out of the 20+ students I had in this section, this is the only complaint I have received so far, and there were plenty of other 3.5s and even some 3.0s.

LOL, I know! One thing that gets me is students who think they start from 100%. What I've always told my students is that you start with nothing. Nothing is not zero. It is nothing! What you earn on your first assignment is what determines the starting point for your grade. Students' mentality that they start with 100% at the beginning of the term is injurious to their perceptions of grading and the teacher/student relationship.

cherub--I agree that the teacher/student power dynamic is an issue. But, until we abandon the assigning of grades we will continue to have power dynamic issues. In a sense, they do grade our effectiveness as instructors on the final course evaluations--but, how trustworthy are those evaluations? I'm glad my faculty supervisor came in at least once during the semester to watch me teach rather than relying solely on course evaluations. rising_star--yes! That's what I did in my first response but the student still didn't get it and sent me this email. Their attitude seems to be that they should receive 100% participation if they show up and speak once or twice during a 3-hour block. In my response to this email, (with the support of my faculty supervisor), I quoted the syllabus about the participation grade being based on the quality of participation. Hopefully that will end the discussion. bamafan--yeah, my faculty supervisor thought it was rude, too. Maybe it's a generational thing. When I was in college, I never would have sent an email to a professor/TA like this. Actually, we had email but no one really used it to communicate (I graduated from college in 2001). We attended professors' office hours and had to talk with them face-to-face! Maybe some kids today feel like they can talk to professors/TAs in this rude way in impersonal/detached emails.

I agree 100% with Shelley Burian. The members of my cohort are very nice. We support each other by having study/reading/discussion/writing groups and socializing outside of class. At the same time, I'm aware that my friends in my subfield are likely competitors for department fellowships and future jobs. A big part of grad school is figuring out how you want to position yourself in the field. In education, this can take many forms: specializations in subject areas, theoretical perspectives/frameworks, methodology, secondary vs. elementary vs. higher ed, etc. I completely understand your position as I've experienced twinges of jealousy sometimes as well. But, as others have suggested, you must begin carving a space for yourself in the field by developing your "academic identity." Your research interests and values should drive you, not competition with your peers or feelings of inadequacy. At the same time, it's good to have a network--you may need their assistance one day, or you could be in a position to assist others. Education is a small world!

As I try desperately to end this semester emotionally and mentally so that I can get on with relaxing activities during winter break, I get this email today from a student upset about her grade: Hi Instructor I had given u a verbal warning about missing a class and I participated every single class so I don't feel that I was graded fairly in that aspect. It really upsets me because I am getting marked down for things I did do throughout the semester. Student Having been a high school teacher for many years, I am not shocked that students think we grade unfairly. What shocks me is that they think we actually care about their feelings. So what if you're upset? My job is to assign you a grade based on your performance in the class. It's not my job to pamper you (perhaps as you have been all your life) and make you feel good about yourself, especially in college. While I support my students in many ways, I do not feel the need to cater to their whims. Any stories about students like this that get on your nerves?

Don't feel bad about switching programs, either. You have to do what's best for you. This year we had two third-year transfer students, so it's not a big deal. As Chai_latte suggested, do your research (i.e., call/email recent and current grads) first. Good luck!

So what does it mean to get a bad grade? In my program, we are told over and over again by both faculty and students that grades just don't matter. Here's the reason--grades are fairly arbitrary, and no reputable hiring committee (at least in my field) will care to look at your transcript. I can see how this is the case by comparing my first two courses in grad school this semester. One course is a broad foundational course that everyone is required to take the first semester. The real purpose of the course is to develop our academic writing skills, particularly in forming an argument and supporting it with citations, evidence, and reasoning. So, grading in this course was tough, especially on the first assignment (which we had to redo if we received a 3.0 or less). I'll be lucky if I come out with a 3.5 in this course! On the other hand, the other course is specific to my subject area (science education). I've gotten a 4.0 on all my assignments (granted, the lowest 4.0 possible) even though the instructor's comments on my paper suggested that it should have been a 3.0 at most! So, what do I gather from this evidence? That grades aren't an accurate reflection of the skills you are required to have as an academic. One fifth year student told me that the 4.0s she received in courses were meaningless--in the process of writing her dissertation, it's her committee that matters, and they have her rewrite until they are satisfied. Another instructor also commented that she once had a student who was clearly a slacker--didn't participate in class discussions, didn't do all the readings. Yet, the student wrote a kick-ass dissertation that garnered respect in the field and went on to a TT position. So, no worries! If you are concerned, do you feel comfortable enough talking about it with your advisor? I'd guess that he or she has the most say in terms of how well you're progressing in the program. I know in my program we have yearly reviews to discuss areas of strength as well as weakness. And just because you have weaknesses doesn't mean that you don't belong in a PhD program. That's why we're here--to learn!

No, the experience you describe is not widespread. I'm also finishing up the first semester (one more week to go!). Overall our faculty have been extremely friendly and have said from the beginning that they are here to support us. My advisor is beyond amazing--he doesn't praise my work directly, but when something needs correcting, he does it in a neutral way so that I don't feel bad about it but I know that it needs to be fixed. Our course instructors have always been available for meetings and their comments on my papers have been helpful. The graduate students here all seem to LOVE the faculty--like, in the crazy, fanatic way that people LOVE Apple products. Partly, I think it's our field (education). And partly I think it's the culture of the department--they promote inclusiveness, open-mindedness, and equity for all. People are sad when they leave--they're happy to graduate, but they miss the feeling of community that we have here.

Thanks for sharing.

I had my kids when I was 26 and 28. I was married to my college sweetheart, we both had stable and well-paying jobs, and my in-laws lived with us and helped with childcare. Graduate school wasn't even on my radar then--I thought I would be a high school science teacher forever. Then we separated, and I moved back to the west coast to be with my family. With the support of my mom and dad, I earned my MS in Science Education at the local state university and decided that I wanted to pursue a PhD. It wasn't an easy decision to go back to school as a single mom of two. It's been a tough couple of months, but I love it here, and I think we'll be okay. Would I love to be childless in grad school? YES! There's no doubt that my childless colleagues can do things that I can't easily do. Am I envious at times? Yes. My responsibilities as a parent and student are no less or more than others--just different. I wrote my original post when I was still emotional, and I can see how my wording suggested entitlement. While the discussion has become heated at times, I appreciate everyone sharing their viewpoints. This issue is just very visible in my department because of the older student population.

Thanks, SSP! You make a very good point about the situation from the perspective of the organization. Our department is very progressive--we talk about equity (not equality), critical pedagogy, critical race theory, etc.--I would be disappointed if they didn't practice what they preached. It makes sense from the viewpoint of the organization to consider the whole person because you cannot separate your work and personal lives so easily. For example, I don't think I would be as good of an instructor if they forced me to take a position that I didn't want--my work performance would suffer. So there is a tension between the goals of the individual and the goals of the organization, but there's also a balance and a need to work towards common goals. I want to teach my best and my department wants me to teach my best, but I know myself, and I know that I would worry too much if I had to teach in a location that is far away from my kids. My department, advisor, and faculty supervisor knows this, too, which is why the situation has turned out the way it has--they can certainly find another instructor who would be happy to take the position and probably do a better job than I would have. Yesterday, Larry Cuban wrote about problems/dilemmas in organizations because of value-laden beliefs: http://larrycuban.wordpress.com/2012/12/08/lessons-learned-from-a-career-as-practitioner-and-scholar/

I never said that the other person should be someone who does not have kids, and I'm sorry if my responses implied so. I was trying to express my viewpoint about the situation and not necessarily make assumptions about the preferences or characteristics of the other person. The more important factor is that I'm a single parent living in a city halfway across the country from my family (yes, it was a tough decision but the best one for my career, I think). If I could rely on a spouse or other family member to pick up the kids in emergencies then I would have no problem traveling that distance. And while I have hired a babysitter and a backup babysitter, I am ultimately responsible for my kids. At the beginning of this semester I actually swapped course sections with an adjunct instructor (retired teacher) so she could come to campus only one day a week instead of two. While it wasn't a big deal to me, it was to her because she lives an hour away. Karma--what goes around comes around. I also helped out another single parent colleague who is an international student and had not made any arrangements for childcare, so I helped her out and let her use my after school babysitter since our kids attend the same elementary school. My advisor knows this because she told him, for whatever reason, at the department beginning-of-the-year party at his house that it was a "coincidence." He later asked me about it, and I explained that it was not a coincidence but a deliberate action on my part to assist another person. I can't say for sure how he took this, but I gather it was positive because he has three grown children and surely understands what it's like to balance work and family life. My TA faculty supervisor really likes me and thinks that I did an excellent job of teaching this semester and wants me to teach again next fall. I think all of this contributed to their advocacy on my behalf and the decision-making process. So I think rising_star is correct. Perhaps I'm turning out to be a department "favorite." If so, I think it's because I've done a good job and am a good person, not because I'm a suck up.

I'm glad you're not my department administrator.

Good luck with the first one! Seriously. Parenting nowadays is crazy, scary, and rewarding all at the same time, and I have two fairly easy-going and "good" kids. The people I know who seem to have the best time with it have extended family around to help. My department needs people to teach their course sections. I don't think anybody is "covering" for me--it doesn't matter that I was originally assigned to teach it. Right now fifth-years are waiting to hear if they've received a dissertation completion fellowship for the spring semester, in which case they will no longer teach and the department will then need to find instructors to teach those sections. Do you consider that covering? Some international students in my department barely even teach and they receive the same stipend I do (usually because their spoken English isn't comprehensible enough). They "shadow" another instructor (i.e., sit in on the class). Is that fair? The far away location is not necessarily undesirable. Many instructors and grad students live an hour or more away (mostly locals in the PhD program), so they may actually live closer to the other location. The issue is that it's a problem for ME because I live practically next to the university, and I have two kids. It's unreasonable to expect me to travel just like any other grad student or instructor. Context matters.

It's easy to say that now (I say this as someone who is constantly surprised by how I thought parenting was going to be versus what parenting actually is). Anyway, I don't expect someone else to make the drive for me. No one is doing anything for me. The department will find somebody for this position, whether it's another graduate student or an adjunct instructor (many of whom are retired teachers in our case). Well, I have a partial resolution to share... My advisor and faculty supervisor did advocate for me with the department chair, and I don't have to teach this assignment. Instead, I'm doing two RAs. The reason this became an issue in the first place was that a junior faculty member bumped me out of the course section that I was supposed to teach--ironically, now I will most likely be doing my second RA with her. She's fantastic, and I'm looking forward to working with her on her new project. But, even she confided to me that it was a sticky political situation and that a lot of backroom dealings were going on. I feel very lucky to be here (but then again I did my research before coming to this university). Thanks for sharing, rising_star! I thought I was going crazy insisting that department politics does in fact play a role. Lucky for me, my advisor has a huge amount of social capital in this department (within certain university policy limits).

You may also want to broaden your search--maybe not specifically a "language and literacy" program per se. For example, at my school (Midwest, not sure if that's close enough for you), there are plenty of researchers studying literacy (and oppressive pedagogy and ideology) and there's a literacy specialization, but you would graduate with a degree in Curriculum, Instruction, and Teacher Education. You should also check out specific people you want to work with and not just programs or colleges. When I was applying last year, I was really looking at potential advisors.