Chiqui74

If you only have one, then I think you're doing pretty well!

I'm going on my first official archival research mission tomorrow (I'm excited and terrified all at once). The last time I went to the archives (for fun), I took pictures of the documents with an Olympus micro 4/3 camera, but tomorrow I'm taking a smaller Canon G7x. I still will try to take notes on a word doc in addition to the photos, and I need to find a system of saving and organizing the photos. I use Mendeley but have only used it for secondary sources so far so I will have to look into it.

Ever the optimist!

Broadly speaking, when I became a history major, I wanted to study medieval history. I quickly realized that learning Latin and goodness knows what else would be a pig, plus the only medievalist AND her early modern Europeanist husband left during my junior year. Then I took several Early America history classes and found it fascinating. Even then, I did most of my undergrad work either in post-1688 Britain or 20th cent US. When it came time to apply to grad school, Early America was the way to go. As for specifics, I've had a life-long interest in the public aspect of my topic so as I delved further and further into academic history I knew that was was my topic would be, regardless of time period or geographical focus.

I turned in my last paper on December 23rd and my classes start again on January 26th. That is a nice long break! I'm still deciding whether I should go to the AHA conference this weekend.

The semester is finally over and I know all my grades except for one class. The last stretch, with all the final assignments, was HARD. I was a stress ball and wasn't sure I was going to make it. I'm soooo glad it's over. One of my professors told me that the worst periods of grad school are the end of the first semester and then finishing the dissertation, so I'm glad I survived this bit. That said, I get to write my big research paper next semester so I'm not counting my chickens just yet!

History is not an objective truth.

I didn't do any lit review as an undergrad either. I'm paying the price now. I have three to write this semester and I have no effing clue what I'm doing. My professors assume we all do. Most of my cohort has MAs so they probably know; I'm lost.

It's the homestretch and I have SOOOO work to do, but I'm so utterly overwhelmed that I'm just surfing the web instead. I have a long historiographical essay due in two weeks (the first of three), and I haven't even read all the books yet. I wonder if this is where I get off the PhD train.

We had one week of Subaltern Studies.

What is your field of interest?

I'm a first year so I'm still about a year away from when I NEED to start reading for my exams but in my program the students make their own lists in conjunction with their divisors. There is no set list, no standard book everyone in a certain field must read. I like it that way. I have very different interests from the other people in my cohort, even within in my own field, and that's the case for everyone. An individualized list, IMO, helps the student drudge through the insurmountable amount of reading better than a list in which they have no interest. I mean, there are still topics and areas that must be covered, and you must know the general history of your time period/geographical place, but there's more room for your own interests than if the list was the same across the board. Plus, exams and the reading for them are supposed to help you with your dissertation, which choosing books that advance your understanding of your particular area of interest does. Also, we do not have oral examinations, only written.

There are no PhD courses over the summer in my program. The summer between the 1st and 2nd years is free time, although you should be doing some readings or thinking about your research, but you can relax. The following summer is spent doing preliminary research for your prospectus, which we have to defend in the fall of the 3rd year, and there is a prospectus workshop that is mandatory. After that, summers are spent doing research or writing, as are the other times of the year.

Steven Hahn told me and a few of my colleagues the other day not to worry about the job market (for now). If you enjoy what you are doing now, and you are not going into debt for it, just concentrate on that. You'll have time to worry later. Maybe a bit cheesy, but I did find comfort in that.

I have not been assigned any of those books this semester (I'm even taking the Methods class!). I'm not sure whether to be glad or feel ripped off

Nope. I have an AA from a community college. I don't think it matters. Also, I went to a very large but largely unknown public university. I had no pedigree (a term the department I'm currently in detests anyway), and I had multiple funded offers. If adcoms are not reading applications because they don't know the school, and then have the audacity to tell, you probably don't want to be there anyway. Not to mention they are not doing their jobs as they should. Honestly, I'm shocked that they would do AND say that. I would have asked for my application fee back. You pay for them to review your application, if they don't, they have not held up their end of the contract and should return the money.

Actually, that was supposed to be "C" is a failing grade.

Trouble, I don't know about your program, but in all programs with which I'm familiar anything below a B is a failing grade. And even then Bs are not exactly looked upon favorably. Like I said, hang in there. Everyone I've spoken to about this issue feels the same way. We all feel like we can't keep up, like we are not doing as well as our peers. It's not just you!

Alrighty then....

I feel the same quite a bit, then I get my grade back and it's A. Take it one day at at time, and remember the slate is wiped clean every week. Also, comparison is the thief of joy. Hang in there!

Someone sent me this video today (I was feeling particularly impostor-ish) and I thought this would be a good place to share it.

When someone leaves with a masters, is it reflected anywhere that they were meant to get a PhD instead? If not, is there a need to disclose that when applying to other programs?

I have an elementary-age kid and I had all these grand plans on how I was going to (phd) work from 9 to 5 and as I would a normal job and have the rest of the time "off." I'm only a couple of weeks in but yeah, it hasn't worked out that way. Basically, I work when his in school, but I also do other things during that time, plus I'm easily distracted by things like the internet. I take a break when he gets home until he goes to bed, then I work some more. I try not to do much during the weekend but I end up having to do some reading or I get horribly behind. If you are super-organized and determined, you could do it as a 9 to 5 thing with a lunch break. Maybe that will happen for me, but for now, it's difficult to balance. But it's not impossible. Just remember that you cannot read/write 16 hours a day no matter what. You need to do other things so don't feel guilty when you do. I may not be as efficient as I want in the time I wanted to allow myself for work, but at least I've learned to suppress the guilt when I'm not doing something related to school, and likewise suppress the guilt when I am spending time with my family and not doing school work.

Well, either it's not as bad as I expected or I'm just not doing enough....... I'm doing OK. Two of the classes I'm taking are not my choice of subject and so reading and writing for that is drudgery at best, but I'm not drowning. Like I said, I may just not be doing it right.

I survived my first week, just barely. SO MUCH READING.....