Nerd_For_Life

Guys give it a rest. Please.

"Pretty close" to 26 is still mathematically 25. And I mentioned you because someone said how it's okay (for you) to post in here if you're childless but don't know if you want children. I was saying that you don't fall into that category. 

Wow you're still going on about me?? Thanks:) and interestingly enough I actually haven't talked to my pregnant friend in a while, since she asked me to help her pick out a middle name... Ummm no thanks dude figure it out on your own. Also, I will be 26 when I graduate or pretty close to it.

I get what you're saying. You don't have to be a card-carrying child-free advocate to post in the child-free thread. A lot of people say they never want a child now but might change their minds, and vice versa. But LittleDarlings is far from that. 
 
This is a girl who a few months ago was deciding between going to grad school or finding a guy to have a family with. She goes on dating websites and dates a different guy every day and struggles to not reveal to him that she's desperate to have a child. She picks out future baby names during work hours. 
 
I understand she did make a major "breakthrough" in her post. She finally said she's content with the idea of not finding a husband and having a family until she finishes grad school in 2 years when she's 25. Before that, she was jealous of her friends who got knocked up in high school and considered cutting ties with all her friends because they all had boyfriends. 
 
But saying you're content with getting an education first and won't drown in your sorrows if you have to wait until 25 to have a baby and being someone who never wants to have children or doesn't know if they'll ever want children are two entirely different things. 
 
There's just absolutely no point of posting in a child-free movement thread and saying things like, "do you think my eggs will still be good in 10 years if I get them frozen?", and, "God forbid I ever find out I'm infertile!"

To be fair, I was hoping that people that are child free by choice (and will most likely never ever ever have/want kids) would post here. Child free is a 'movement' if you will.

Childless and child free are very different things, and I for one find it grating how you are making this thread about yourself and how a thread about people who have no desire for children has been hijacked about somebody here who is all but lamenting about not having any kids.

She asked if anyone is childless, I am. I posted for that reason, does it really matter?

I don't know that I will, I mean Godforbid I could find out I'm infertile. I could just never get around to it (I really want a family not just a child)... I don't know life's circumstances. I do pick out baby names though, and hopefully I get to be a mom. I don't know what you want from me? What do you want me to say? That I don't think about babies or baby names? I mean why do you constantly feel the need to come for me? Does it bother you that much?

This is my interpretation as well - an overall reduction in funding if you receive it early, but beneficial to those who are successful in later years.

Yup, this. Last year I was waitlisted with 16.9 (but the scoring wasn't out of 20, it was out of 25 or 30? Can't find my old letter to confirm), but someone with a lower score than I had received a fellowship while I never got off the wait list. It definitely varies by discipline and committee/subcommittee that considers the applications (which is what I think Konstantin meant to write rather than "there is a uniform cut-off score", "there is not a uniform cut-off score"). We should also consider whether the ranking the rankings for CGS will have a different significance than those ranked and awarded the fellowship (ie. a 16/20 in the fellowship competition might not get you a fellowship, but in the context of the CGS competition it might).

I got a SSHRC CGS! (35k/3 years) Mail arrived 10 minutes ago at my place in Toronto. I'm through the roof with excitement!!!
 
Score: 16/20
MA+PhD Average: A
Publication: 0 (common for anthropology, most don't publish until after PhD3/fieldwork)
Presentations: 4
Fieldwork+research experience
TAships: 2
RAships: 2
Substantial+relevant volunteer experience
Strong letters and strong proposal
Forwarded A-list from department.
Second year applying (wait-listed last year)
Received MA SSHRC
 
Let me know if you would like to know any other stats related things

I got a SSHRC CGS! (35k/3 years) Mail arrived 10 minutes ago at my place in Toronto. I'm through the roof with excitement!!!
 
Score: 16/20
MA+PhD Average: A
Publication: 0 (common for anthropology, most don't publish until after PhD3/fieldwork)
Presentations: 4
Fieldwork+research experience
TAships: 2
RAships: 2
Substantial+relevant volunteer experience
Strong letters and strong proposal
Forwarded A-list from department.
Second year applying (wait-listed last year)
Received MA SSHRC
 
Let me know if you would like to know any other stats related things

Congrats Konstantin!

I got a SSHRC CGS! (35k/3 years) Mail arrived 10 minutes ago at my place in Toronto. I'm through the roof with excitement!!!
 
Score: 16/20
MA+PhD Average: A
Publication: 0 (common for anthropology, most don't publish until after PhD3/fieldwork)
Presentations: 4
Fieldwork+research experience
TAships: 2
RAships: 2
Substantial+relevant volunteer experience
Strong letters and strong proposal
Forwarded A-list from department.
Second year applying (wait-listed last year)
Received MA SSHRC
 
Let me know if you would like to know any other stats related things

I got a SSHRC CGS! (35k/3 years) Mail arrived 10 minutes ago at my place in Toronto. I'm through the roof with excitement!!!
 
Score: 16/20
MA+PhD Average: A
Publication: 0 (common for anthropology, most don't publish until after PhD3/fieldwork)
Presentations: 4
Fieldwork+research experience
TAships: 2
RAships: 2
Substantial+relevant volunteer experience
Strong letters and strong proposal
Forwarded A-list from department.
Second year applying (wait-listed last year)
Received MA SSHRC
 
Let me know if you would like to know any other stats related things

I got a SSHRC CGS! (35k/3 years) Mail arrived 10 minutes ago at my place in Toronto. I'm through the roof with excitement!!!
 
Score: 16/20
MA+PhD Average: A
Publication: 0 (common for anthropology, most don't publish until after PhD3/fieldwork)
Presentations: 4
Fieldwork+research experience
TAships: 2
RAships: 2
Substantial+relevant volunteer experience
Strong letters and strong proposal
Forwarded A-list from department.
Second year applying (wait-listed last year)
Received MA SSHRC
 
Let me know if you would like to know any other stats related things

This is what my GPA and GPD told me last week. They said it was because SSHRC wants to be the ones to inform the lucky recipients rather than departments getting to be the bearers of good news (which seems silly....it's not like we're getting a phone call or meeting them in person....it's a letter)

I have one cohort member who I don't get along with, but we're both professional about it. We say hi, we talk to each other when we need to, and in class we comment on and engage with each other when it is relevant to the discussion. Outside of those settings we don't interact and there is no need to. You don't need to be friends with everyone in your cohort, but you do need to be respectful and professional with them (regardless of your personal opinions about their work ethic). If they think you are coming across as arrogant and judgemental, I would take this as an opportunity for some critical self-reflection and as an opportunity to clear the air with them.
 
Or don't. You can always stay up on the pedestal you've built for yourself and continue to look down at the 'others.' But keep in mind, there will always be people in your work environment that you won't click with. Rather than let it get you down and lead you to leaving your program, use it constructively.

One specific thing you said in the first post is somewhat important: when they said "out loud" that they didn't do the assigned reading, were they saying it in a quite conversational aside, like "oh man I forgot to do the reading," or were they loudly announcing it to the class, like "well I didn't read this so I have nothing to say." ? Because those are two very different scenarios. If it was the latter, then I agree, that strikes me as inappropriate. However, if it was the former scenario, then I can understand why your reaction of silent eye-rolling was taken as an indicator of you being stuck-up. Additionally, your somewhat smug analysis of their behavior in class "sat there the entire time, arms crossed, no notes, nothing" rubs me the wrong way. Sitting with one's arms crossed is hardly a sign that one is unprepared or unable to take in a discussion, it may just mean that you're cold or like having your arms crossed. Additionally, you forget that not everyone learns the same way. It's clear that you're someone who learns best by taking notes and actively participating in the class discussion. Not everyone learns that way. Some people find that the process of taking notes distracts them from the gist of what's being said, and if the class's structure is a discussion rather than a lecture, I can see why someone might not opt to take notes. Similarly, some people just do not enjoy speaking up in class.
Keep in mind that your experience with these people has thus far been limited to a single semester. People have the capacity for growth. If you choose to permanently deign certain people as not worth your time, don't be surprised if they do the same to you. 

I have one cohort member who I don't get along with, but we're both professional about it. We say hi, we talk to each other when we need to, and in class we comment on and engage with each other when it is relevant to the discussion. Outside of those settings we don't interact and there is no need to. You don't need to be friends with everyone in your cohort, but you do need to be respectful and professional with them (regardless of your personal opinions about their work ethic). If they think you are coming across as arrogant and judgemental, I would take this as an opportunity for some critical self-reflection and as an opportunity to clear the air with them.
 
Or don't. You can always stay up on the pedestal you've built for yourself and continue to look down at the 'others.' But keep in mind, there will always be people in your work environment that you won't click with. Rather than let it get you down and lead you to leaving your program, use it constructively.

...You are disagreeing with their assessment of you? Based on what you've told us, their opinion of you sounds about correct. If you've not attended any of their socials, rolled your eyes when they've come to class unprepared and all of that - they've probably come to that conclusion by themselves. 
 
I don't think that remaining arrogant and aloof from the cohort is going to make things any better for you, so yeah, perhaps try to be a bit nicer. Give other people a chance to speak (at this point they might have assumed that you're going to soliloquise for the entirety of the class discussion and they don't want you sneering at them if they say something you consider too lowbrow). Ask others what they think. Keep your own contributions short. 

TakeruK's summary on this is very well written. Just adding that this would not be against policies at my current school, although it would have been at my past school (not reporting). 
 
It's well possible the graduate student came from a school with no reporting policy, and doesn't realize that's the policy at the current school? 
 
Perhaps instead of reporting them, you should give him/her a heads up?
 
Also, how does this effect you? Are you in the class? Did someone report it to you, and you feel like you should now do something about it?
 
With the description of "creepy train-wreck", it personally comes across to me like you're nosing into someone else's personal life. This isn't an obvious case of a TA taking advantage of a student in their class for grades/perks, what with it being an existing relationship and them living together. You assume they met in a previous class, but they could have just as easily met through mutual friends, through a hobby, or out around town. 

Well it just sounds weird... Everything about it. 20 year age gap? Yeah not ok. I say report it and see what happens. The evidence is there. I would report it but that's just because I'm an evil bitch lol

It's definitely NOT a firable offense everywhere. It's definitely OK at my school. It's OK at every other school I've been to. There is also no rule against professor-student relationships either.
 
At my school, the policy is that the TA is suggested (not required, I think) to inform the professor of the course about the potential conflict of interest due to the personal relationship. The TA and professor (and if necessary, the department) will then figure out how to preserve academic integrity. Usually, for large classes, this means that the TA will never mark an assignment of an undergrad that they are involved with. For small classes (with only 1 TA) this might mean the professor grades the undergrad-in-question's assignment, or the department will switch the TA to a different course.
 
In my opinion, I think the TA only needs to inform the professor that a personal relationship exists. The TA should not be forced to reveal which undergrad it is unless it is necessary to preserve academic integrity (as in above paragraph). 
 
I do not think the school or program has any right to prevent professors, graduate students, and undergraduate students from dating each other (also undergrad are also TAs in many places). The only right the school has is to prevent instances where a TA/prof unfairly grades a student because of a personal relationship. In the best case, the TA would never grade their SO's work, but if that is unavoidable, the school has not right to assume that because the personal relationship exists, that there will be something inappropriate happening. The school would have to prove that the TA is guilty of doing something wrong!
 
To answer the OP's questions:
 
1. Is it common? I would not say it's common in the sense that most graduate students will have a relationship with an undergrad. However, I think it is not rare at all. I think most graduate students will know of at least one graduate-undergraduate relationship. I know of at least 4 (including professor-student ones).
 
2. What kind of trouble can a grad student get into if it's not reported? Depends on the school's policy for not following their policy! But do you know for a fact that this isn't already reported privately? (Not questioning you, just clarifying). I think by default, the TA can really only get in trouble if the school can prove misconduct. I don't know what kind of penalties exist for something like not reporting a relationship (I don't think it should be high). 
 
3. Does this stuff ever get caught? I don't know how to answer this because I don't know of any of these kind of relationships that were not "kosher" (i.e. they were all reported when necessary and/or did not require reporting).
 
Finally, to everyone -- If you think it's creepy, then that's your own personal view. You don't have a right to judge them (even though as humans we tend to judge anyways). I'd advise to stay out of other people's personal lives (unless they are sharing all this with you). The only exception is if you know for a fact that academic dishonesty is occurring, then you should talk to someone!

Whoot! Just found out that my SSHRC app is being forwarded by my university to Ottawa! Now to wait until Jan(ish? if I remember from last year) to hear from SSHRC that they have received my app and then the long wait until results are released.