DocTheatre--similar situation with my undergrad transcript--I've handled it this way where appropriate:
"A look at my undergraduate transcript might give one pause. In general, I think it simply demonstrates where I was sixteen years ago: working full-time throughout college and very much undergoing a slow road to authentic self-awareness and maturity. This process involved more than the average college shenanigans, and attendance policies often got the better of me. I usually thrived in courses that actually captivated my mind, and flailed through topics I deemed less interesting. Also, let’s be honest: classes that began before 10 AM could solely explain my lower grades."
Hope this helps.